On to the newsletter ...
I've been struggling a bit, but I've noticed a lot of
black guys getting so much play it's ridiculous. They
have bad manners, are arrogant as hell, very
aggressive, and just flat out stupid. I see a lot of
good girls highly attracted to them and it kind of
makes me sick because these guys aren't good guys, in
I don't want any advice on what I should
do about my mindset...I want some advice on what these
guys might have that I don't, or what they display
that I don't, that's key to their success.
CARLOS SAYS NO WAY MAN - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR:
Here's where I have to stop you and say, WHOAHHHHH there fella.
You're COMPLETELY missing the point.
It SEEMS like there's something to learn here, but you're not seeing past their behavior to the reality. It would be one thing if you were asking me how you can learn from what these guys have (and you're trying to ask this), but instead you're doing the "I'm so much better than these guys, they don't deserve to have women, and I'm now getting bitter about it."
You might think I'm making a stretch there, but I know these things. I have been there, thinking that since I'm so nice and high-quality that women should just SEE how great I am and flock before me.
But they never do.
And I don't like to point out racial things here, because I pride myself on letting go of that whole "black" or "white" or "yellow" thing. We're all humans, man. We're in this thing together. I really believe that.
But I also see that the brothers out there know how to get the game on with women. They're more straightforward, and they're less bashful about showing that they are really MEN.
I admire the hell out of that.
As for the attitude, it's not about "What do they have that I don't?"
That's the comparison game. And you ALWAYS lose when you play.
You said: "I don't want any advice on what I should do about my mindset..."
That's the problem right there. You're not willing to take a cold, hard look at yourself and figure out how to make what YOU have work for YOU. Instead you want to whine about what other guys have that you think you should have.
I know that you're hoping to find some hidden key, but you COULD start by watching their behavior closely and reading between the lines...
See how these guys ACT, but don't try to imitate them.
What they're doing is not attracting these women by their bad manners or "stupidity."
It's the BELIEF that underlies these behaviors.
I think if you look closely, you'll see the following:
- A "don't-take-no-sh*t" attitude
- They don't act like whiney little girls
- They're fun and exciting, no matter how arrogant you think they may be...
- They're confident - even in their childish behavior
- They're willing to put their s*e(xual interest in a woman out there for her to see - they're not afraid to be MEN and show it
You're right, I tell guys a lot that they need to spend time working on their attitudes.
When I say that, I don't mean that it's your FAULT. I mean that you will gain much more in development if you work on your own confidence than trying to "figure out" someone else's.
It's not solely their BEHAVIOR that helps these guys get women... it's their ATTITUDE underneath that tells the story.
Re read the section of my book on the "Bad Boy." That should put things back in proper perspective.
First off thanks so much for your ebooks
, the difference it's made to my
dating and more importantly (never thought i'd be saying this!) my personal
life and work life has been gobsmacking.
i've been dating many women and
having great success with cocky/funny etc, but was clear from the beginning
that I was ultimately looking for a long-term relationship WHEN (and only
when) I met the RIGHT girl.
So after a long time of dating and enjoying single life, I've now got into
an exclusive relationship with a hot girl who's totally in love with me, and
does anything to please me.
What i'd like your advice on is this: How do I maintain the relationship from this point in?
Your ebooks cover the early stages of dating exceptionally well, but i'd like some pointers on keeping the balance between being affectionate and showing I appreciate her good
behaviour, and going too far the other way and potentially undoing all the
hard work i've put in.
CARLOS WONDERS WHAT GOBSMACKING IS ALL ABOUT:
Thanks for the kudos, F... I'm glad you're getting the success you deserve with the e-books.
If every guy out there had these books to read as teenagers, we'd have a lot more successful guys out there ... and a lot more happy women, too.
So you asked me, how do you keep what you've got?
I hate to sound like an oaf here, but it's pretty obvious, isn't it?
If you want to keep getting what you've been getting, keep doing what you've been doing!
The big mistake a lot of guys make is that they go through a lot of effort and energy to win a woman over (and not that much is really necessary, really) and then they proceed to flush it all down the toilet by turning into a solid gold CHUMP as soon as they've got her.
They get LAZY.
They think that after they've got her affections that it's a done deal.
He stops putting effort in. He becomes predictable.
He stops being fun.
And then she starts to get bored with him. She stops getting jiggy with him, or having more excuses as to why she can't stay over tonight.
And she starts to look around at other "opportunities."
And then another guy who sees her as a conquest comes along and puts the energy into her you should have been. (And not just his energy, if you know what I mean..)
Might be some guy like ME, in fact...
No, dude, don't worry, I'm not going to fly out there and undermine your relationship, but I want to be clear that it might not be me specifically, but another guy is always waiting around the corner.
So stay sharp.
Here's my simple recipe for keeping a woman happy (and she'd NEVER admit it, but she knows this works...)
Add A FEW parts vulnerability and intimacy...
Add TEN parts unpredictability
Add TWENTY parts fun and funny (sense of humor)
Add FORTY Parts of CONFIDENCE and call-her-on-her-sh*t attitude
And add a sprinkle of romantic attention in between.
Cook only a couple times per week. Make this meal scarce so that she appreciates it when it's served.
She'll be hungry for this every time if you follow the recipe.
Yes, you can send her flowers.
*(When she least expects it...)
Yes, you can compliment her.
*(When she needs it most...)
Yes, you can even maybe possibly write her a love song.
*(If she only hears it once, at the most effective time... and she spends months begging to hear it again.)
The key is to make these kinds of things IRREGULAR, MEANINGFUL, and NEVER appear as if you're giving just to receive.
It's not a transaction. You're giving because you want to give.
NO expectation of repayment.
And then, the attitude that you have when give her presents or romantic gestures is this:
"I'm showing you that I care, but I'm not going to kiss your ass. I'm not doing this to pay for access into your pant ies. I'm not doing this because I know you're going to bug me for it later. I'm not doing this to impress you. I'm not doing it because I HAVE to.
"I'm doing this because I WANT TO."
THAT is the attitude that the Alpha Man uses to keep a woman by his side...
Deep in her heart of hearts, she has to have genuine feelings for you - AND just a hint of fear that if she doesn't keep up the effort - you're out the door.
Ultimately, though, you two are going to have to venture into this uncharted territory together. I'm not going to give you specific actions because they don't exist. You have to figure them out for yourself.
You'll grow the most in the context of a mature relationship, so I salute you for making this your goal.
A lot of guys want more success with women, whether one or many.
But they're afraid to do what it takes to actually get it. This is especially true about understanding what women want.
I'm here to tell you that I've pulled together a ton of absolute killer techniques and explanations for everything you've been scratching your head about ever since you felt that first static charge near a girl on the playground. It's all explained here. The Seduction Method e-book
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Is there ANYTHING more important?
Time is running short for all of us, no matter how young or old you are. Don't waste precious years of your life learning by trial and error (and perhaps not learning at all).
Get the information on how to improve your dating life TODAY. Make the changes you need to make to get the love, se-x, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.
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All my experience - my heart and soul is in these e-books and audio programs. I just know you'll enjoy them.
I'll be back with more advice soon -
This is the year for you to get busy and get successful with women!
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