Thursday, June 30, 2005

CALIBRATION COACHING:


I was just thinking the other day about how my friend Greg attracts
women all the time, and I was mentally comparing what his approach
was from mine in terms of why we're successful. We're both good at chatting up
women just about anywhere, and we are both fairly successful at
getting more than our fair share of ... well, let's call it female
attention. We talked about this for a while, and then it hit us
both like a bolt of lightning...

Even though he and I were different in appearance, different in
style, different in dress, etc., one thing was actually the same.
We both understood some principles of attracting beautiful women that involve
"calibration." Flexibility for the situation.

So I got home and started recording some topics having to do with
this area that I think will help you guys understand how to adjust
your approach to various situations.

Oh, and I got a lot of questions about certain activities you can
do to really increase your comfort level with women. So I decided
I'd reveal an exercise I once used to get myself over my fear of
women. It's called the "Poll" and any guy can use it. It really
rocks. You can use it for cold approaching women on the street, or even in
a bar or club.

Not to mention I am also covering how the concept of social proof
works with women (and people in general) and how you use it to
demonstrate your own superior social value (SSV) with women. SSV is
something I'm going to cover more in the next couple months, too.
(I even threw in a ton of examples of how to use negative hits
effectively.)

So, rather than get long-winded here, I'm just going to tell you
that Session 22 is HERE, and you guys are going to LOVE it. I am
going in-depth in these concepts and many more.

Get it here:
http://www.datingdynamics.com/audioprog.htm


Take a quick look at the great stuff we're covering in a few of the
tracks in July's Session-

Session 22 includes:

- CALIBRATION - How to adjust your approach for the various levels
of women (classic "10" scale), what's happening when she won't call
back, how to compliment, and WHO to compliment, the GPP complex, as
well as what to expect from women at various levels of
attrativeness...

- THE 2 LEVELS OF ATTRACTION - Emotional vs. Sexual, how much
chemistry you must have versus trust, what happens when you over
involve her emotionally, why a woman slams on the brakes, how
negative hits work, and how you can use them effectively, with 8
examples of application

- EXERCISE - The Poll - How to double and triple the number of
women you meet with your own research, removing expectation, why
it's critical to memorize introductions and phrases, getting
yourself empowered, Ten Example questions for your poll, how to
score yourself, the most important way to express your interest in
her, and tips on how to NEVER approach women on the street (chances
are you're making these mistakes)...

- INFLUENCE - SOCIAL PROOF - How social proof works, the need for
validation, examples of sociological motivations of people, how a
woman is motivated by social proof, Public compliance vs. private
acceptance, when social proof works the most ...

- SELF-DISCIPLINE - What it is and how to develop it through
action, application with your own goals, working your phone list,
examples of goals, the one critical ingredient to your motivation -
and why you will fail without it ...

- AFTER THE SEX - How to choose your path after you've achieved
your goals, qualitative vs. quantitative criteria, how to setup
expectations, why relationships develop you faster, why men lose
their game in long-term relationships, the two decisions you must
make for each woman you date, and the reason guys don't want to
date more than one woman even when they know they should...


Just in time for your holiday weekend, you can see the COMPLETE
table of contents, and download the July session here:

http://www.datingdynamics.com/audioprog.htm

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

PODCAST INFO:


It's come to my attention that some of you guys are having problems adding the podcast to your newsreaders, like Mozilla, or whatever.

Keep in mind that the podcast is an RSS feed. Your Mozilla may not handle it the same way. Also, remember that podcasts are meant to be picked up by a podcast application, like iTunes or iPodder. These programs will actually watch for new programs and download them for you when they are ready. You should try one of them, because that functionality is very cool.

Anyway, if you want to add our podcast as just another newsfeed, simply use this link:
http://www.alphaseduction.com/podcast/podcast-fb.htm

PODCAST INFO:


It's come to my attention that some of you guys are having problems adding the podcast to your newsreaders, like Mozilla, or whatever.

Keep in mind that the podcast is an RSS feed. Your Mozilla may not handle it the same way. Also, remember that podcasts are meant to be picked up by a podcast application, like iTunes or iPodder. These programs will actually watch for new programs and download them for you when they are ready. You should try one of them, because that functionality is very cool.

Anyway, if you want to add our podcast as just another newsfeed, simply use this link:
http://www.alphaseduction.com/podcast/podcast-fb.htm



Here's the link to use if you want to add a podcast to your podcast application, like iTunes or iPodder:
feed://feeds.feedburner.com/SeductionTimesPodcast

I'll add these to the web page, too.

Thanks to the guys who brought this to my attention.

Here's the link to use if you want to add a podcast to your podcast application, like iTunes or iPodder:
feed://feeds.feedburner.com/SeductionTimesPodcast

I'll add these to the web page, too.

Thanks to the guys who brought this to my attention.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:



Well, I have been having a problem as of late. I have been working on my body language and voice tone for the past 4 months and I try to walk confidently, use slow movements and gestures, breath slowly, and blink slower than usual. I also try to speak deeply and confidently.

The problem is I do this every time i go out and even when I am with my friends and as of late I have been feeling very self conscious. Its almost as if I feel that I am obsessing a little over this stuff. I feel that people are staring at me all the time and stuff like that. What do I do to get rid of this Carlos?

Thanks Carlos I appreciate you and your work a ton.


*******
CARLOS:

Well, from what you're telling me, it does sound as if you're a bit over-focused and obsessing. I covered this in a previous audio session on "hyper-attentiveness."

You can get a bit too watchful of your own behaviors, and then start that weird paranoia going that tells you you're always doing something wrong.

When you discover the information that you've gotten in my e-books and audio, you realize that there is a LOT of stuff going on that you weren't aware of. But that doesn't mean that you have to try and do it all right.

You need to relax when you date women.

This is the most important thing I can possibly tell you.

Relax.

Everything good with women comes from a place of relaxation and calmness. You can't attract women with angst and nervousness. Unless she's more nervous and excitable than you are.

First, stop holding yourself accountable to be PERFECT. It can't be done. So let that need go.

The next is to then work out with yourself just how much you can improve each time. Focus on just one area you can improve with each encounter, and stay relaxed. Your self-confidence will rise more and more.

For example, make your next meeting with a woman focused solely on getting her vibe. Find out where she is coming from and just let the chips fall where they may. So what if it's not perfect. You'll get another shot in most cases.

Or just focus on making her laugh.

Or try reading body language from her.

Get comfortable with that one skill and then work on another. If you scatter your attention to the winds, you'll never improve in any of them, and you'll never get to be an Alpha Male.

So get your mind set on one goal at a time, and go after it with dogged perseverance.

But do relax a bit. The game of attracting women and seducing women needs to have a lot of relaxation and humor thrown in. That's what a woman wants, too, by the way.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN - Podcast


There's a new podcast up ... go check it out ...

CLICK HERE for the podcast feed site:
WHAT WOMEN WANT - DATING ADVICE

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:



Just got your newsletter on being too good looking. You say if you're that
handsome not to joke so much about it. Well, what if you're the average Joe?
Is it cool to talk yourself up in a joking way with girls by telling them
about you amazing good looks even though you know it isn't true? I mean,
isn't that what makes it funny?


:::::::
CARLOS:

Look, dating women is one thing. Learning how to ATTRACT WOMEN is another.

If you're an average looking guy, your best bet is to do just what you said. (I cover this in the Dating Black Book e-book.)

Joke about your "devastating" good looks with a woman. You have to do it in a way that is:

A) Not self-deprecating, meaning that it doesn't look like you're putting yourself down. Alpha Males never insult themselves.

B) Make it clear that you don't take yourself that seriously.

One way you can accomplish both of these as a pickup line would be this:

"Hey, I know you're looking to replace Katie Holmes as Tom Cruise's fiancee, but I'm much better looking. And more talented. Did I mention that I kiss better, too? Uh, not that I've kissed Tom or anything."

Jump on the chance to joke about your looks. Average guys actually have a BETTER chance attracting women -especially hot women - because you can sneak under her radar.


alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, June 27, 2005

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

Hey, I have a question for you.

I just went though this messy breakup with my girlfriend two days ago
over a stupid argument. We still talk sometimes but she is usually
distant in the conversations. Im intrested in getting her back but I
don't know how to go about this. In the past, chasing the ex girlfreind
and acting depressed out of a breakup always ended in failure. So there
is no way in hell im going to do that again and screw this up.

The thing is... im not really sure on how to go about this. So far, i've been
trying to be upbeat and aloof around her and people she knows. Do you
have any rules or guidlines to go about getting back together with an
ex?

Right now my situation is pretty tricky as I don't have a place I
normaly see her so the only ways I can talk to her is by the phone or
messenger on the computer. I haven't messaged her recently because I
wanted to get her some space.

Any advice would be appreciated greatly
******
CARLOS:

Upbeat and aloof. What a combination, huh?

You're doing a lot of things right. You understand that the whole depressed or chasing her thing doesn't work. And you're giving her space. That takes discipline. Good job..!

Look, there are a thousand reasons not to go back to the well once you've peed in it.

That is, after you've broken up with a girl.

1) Messy breakup, huh? Let me guess, she dumped you? You don't say, so that's what I'm assuming. Usually guys say it if they were the dumper. So now you want to get your girlfriend back.

If you are the dumpee, she now will mentally do her best to justify it. She'll cut off all mental ties.

2) You've lost posture if it went this far. Breakups should not be threatened or taken lightly. What you must work on is establishing the understanding DURING the relationship that while you COULD leave, you're CHOOSING to STAY. She should feel lucky to have you.

And vice-versa, really. That's what keeps people together is excitement and knowing what you got before it's gone.

3) Guys most often make a fool out of themselves in the process of trying to win someone back. You end up putting out 1000 times more energy to get a second chance than it would take to just go and find a new woman.

4) You're not really telling me what you plan to do to make sure this won't happen again, or why it won't. Which means it probably will.

5)...

Aw hell, let's be real here.

Your only real choice here is to make a good play to get her back. None of that flowers and chocolate crap, either.

Get her out with you to just "talk." Don't get into a discussion on the phone. Tell her there's something she needs to know before she moves on. Make it almost sound like you've given up on her. That way she won't go in with her defenses up.

Then, meet with her, and start to flirt a little. Use some charm. Use the right body language, and read her body language. Feel out her attitude.

Break down her bitch shield (she'll have a protective cold emotional shell up to keep you out.) This is your challenge.

The rest is using the same stuff I taught you in the e-book, man. It's not hard to drive up her lust, and attract women.

What's hard is finding a reason to keep doing it for the same chick - over and over.

Good luck.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

MORE FROM C- THE ANONYMOUS WOMAN:


I just got this note from "C" - the anonymous woman who has been sending secret transmissions from The Land of Woman... Read on...

I was thinking about that very topic the other day. How some women feel compelled to hold back on sex. It's an interesting discussion- it's one aspect of the seduction dance. I think many women feel if they are pursued, they are more likely to keep their man interested and possessed. Because instinctively, it's about mating and not necessarily an element of sex. A lot of women simply are not interested in sex. They are looking for a spouse that can offer them financial security, a family and keep them in the 'status quo'

I obviously do not fall in that category. Sex to me is not a game of tug and war. That's not to say I don't like to keep some tension going- That I pleasure in hedonistic delights, should not be confused with naughty or bad. I think there seems to be a major misunderstanding that some men and women have of people who are 'sexual' in nature... That they are some how not viable human beings...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, June 26, 2005

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION: LOSING YOUR RELIGION



Dear Carlos,

I understand you were raised from a catholic upbringing. I am 19 yrs old, about to enter college and have been studying social dynamics/ dating for quite sometime now, I have changed my perspectives and beliefts towards the subject of sex. Don't get me wrong, I still believe in God and very much a highly spiritual person.

But I tend to have these weird sexual guilt sometimes, perhaps it's from the years and years of brainwashing and social conditioning I received from my parents and every non believers out there. I also still have friends that tries to make me guilty everytime I talk about sex and comment about a hot chick. They call me a " perve" , " a horny filipino" , a " man whore" and I also have friends that are religious and probably knows I'm not that religious by my laidback attitude towards sex by trying to convert me by telling me to stop my " raw desires" or I will burn in the fires of hell.

Plus, it's also my family, my parents keep preaching to me about Pre-marital sex and plus my sister is always trying to hook me up w/ these nerdy girls...lol.

Now my question is, I really want to get my innergame together and stop feeling all these guilt that I would sometimes feel when it comes to chicks, what are some good ways to do that? How can I change my social environment and be cool about it w/ my catholic community?

::::::::::::
CARLOS:

Yes, I've been a Catholic, as well as a great many other things in my day.

I realize that by bringing this up, I'm risking losing people, but I think the smart guys will know where I'm coming from.

When I cover this topic I am walking on very emotionally charged ground. People are VERY sensitive to their religious and spiritual beliefs, because they really are the foundation of our life. If we have no grounding, we wander aimlessly, wondering whether it's all worth it or not.

The one thing that has served me most is that you need to understand that RELIGION is a man-made thing. It is not NATURAL. We are imposing a man-made order on something that is beyond us to control or understand.

And, unfortunately, most religions over time have made it all about POWER.

Power over the people.

If you control what someone holds as their fundamental principle in life, you control THEM.

That's what we see in many religious doctrines.

That's why I no longer subscribe to any "religion." I am very spiritual, but I just don't believe it's in our ability to even comprehend the nature of God. Or whatever you believe is the spiritual force in the universe.

So I decided that, even though I was very comfortable with the church (and that comfort really mean that I wasn't growing, I was just clinging to outdated beliefs) that I could no longer hang with my home boys of the Cloth. I had to move on and explore.

So I dabbled in other religions. And they promised much, delivering only one thing. (And this is actually a valuable benefit of religion. )

A sense of belonging and community.

But sometimes even that can even be twisted to dark designs. Look at David Koresh, or any of the cult leaders from the past.

The thing I learned to watch out for is when you are told that you will be punished for NOT believing what they tell you to believe and do. That's false and manipulative. I believe that any God that had the power to create is also smart enough to know that I'm still a good person, even if I didn't make it down for the communion wafer this week.

I also watch out for BLACK & WHITE thinking. You know, the kind that says that if you don't believe EVERYTHING this person/book/church/etc. has to say, then you can't be a part of their group. (Funny how this is the way most every religion works.)

Ya dig?

So I won't even pretend to advise anyone on their beliefs, even though mine are pretty obvious. But you can reconcile your understanding like this:

THINK FOR YOURSELF.

The one thing every organization based in power fears most is that the people will think for themselves. They will become intelligent and see through the lies that there is really more to the picture than they were led to believe.

So if your friends tell you to watch out for pre-marital sex, well that's a decision you'll just have to make for yourself. If you decide to follow it, congratulations for standing behind something you believe in.

But get educated FIRST. THEN decide. Not the other way around.

It sounds like you made up your mind that there are things that you don't agree with about your church. That you know there are ways to attract women you want.

Great, now decide what you're going to do with that.

Are you going to live in fear of discovery? That's going to be much more painful to you because you will be running around fearing that you're doing something WRONG. And that you're going to get PUNISHED for it. And that you'll LOSE APPROVAL FROM YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS for it.

And that right there is enough to keep 95% of the people following the religions they were born with.

All of those things, by the way, are based on FEAR.

The other motivator in life is DESIRE. Which, funny enough, is another tool of deception for many. If you can make someone fear their own desires, such as for sexual gratification, then you TOTALLY CONTROL THEM.

Wow, heavy stuff, huh?

I don't like being this heavy, so I'll just say this:

You can't get your game together if you're undermining your own self-confidence by believing you could be WRONG and you might be PUNISHED for it.

So get past that as fast as you can. Make up your mind that you won't be manipulated. Make up your mind that you'll think for yourself, and you'll believe what you believe because you CHOOSE to believe it, not because someone told you you MUST believe it.

And keep your mind OPEN. Never become one of those people that closes off all paths, because then you'll be no better than the people who lock you into their dogma.

Don't live in the middle ground of guilt and uncertainty, because that's really what hell's all about. The hell of other people's opinions and judgments.

And the hell of being in a place where you never live your life to the fullest. Or the hell of worrying that you'll end up at the end of your life having made the wrong choice, and then never making any choices as a result.

In the immortal words from Braveheart: "Every man dies - but not every man truly lives."


alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, June 24, 2005

AWESOME STORY:



Guys, this is a story that EVERYONE should read. Not just because this guy has found a solid path to Alpha through the Secrets of the Alpha Man course, but because of what he talks about with today's world.

Women ARE getting more dominant and aggressive. They're starting to take on the male role, and who could blame them with most guys failing to fill it. Meanwhile, women walk around with this gold-plated-pussy syndrome that just irks the crap out of me. They honestly believe, guys, that they are entitled to special treatment because most guys will gladly hand over their balls just to get a slice of action.

Every letter I get from you guys really affirms that we have to get the Alpha message out there to as many guys as possible. I'm already brainstorming some incredible topics for the audio coaching and the podcasts... Stay tuned...

Read his letter, and tell me if you don't find this story all too typical, unfortunately....

Hi Carlos,

thanks for your letter and free ebook. I found the
information quite insightful and informative.
I found your take on how men are becoming more
feminine and women more masculine right on the money.
there is been a defenite shift in the roles men and
women are playing in todays society. I myself have
noticed whithin the past few years I've taken a more
feminine approach to life. Unfortunately, without all
the advantageous benefits women consistently
experience.

There is a very entertaining movie that
touches on the shift you mentioned called "Roger
Dodger" it's about an almost cynical "alpha male"
tring to teach his younger nephew how to score with
women. There are moments in his dialogue where he
forsees the eventual decline of the male species based
on the current road we're heading.

I've looked around
lately when I go out and have noticed this to be
true.. Women today are so cocky and arrogant almost as
if there sole mission is to tease men. I'm considered
a very good looking man , athletic shape, succesful
quick witted and even women I would never consider
dating act as if I'm not good enough for them. Up
until I read your information I wondered what exactly
happend out there. I couldn't put my finger on it.

About 5 years ago I was seriously involved with an
extremely beautiful, intelligent(physics major) exotic
dancer, she looked like pamela anderson although
curvier in the hips, firmer and a smaller waist plus
she had these unbelevable real dd breasts and big
pouty angelina jolie type lips.. hot women would stare
just as long as men.. a reflection of the true
physical phenomenon.. talk about an ego challenge. I
handled it perfectly for about 3 years, constant roll
on the floor mutual laughter, best friends, an
engagement, intelligent life conversations, extremely
satisfying multiple orgasmic sex-she was a squirter-

but the decline occured when our small arguments
escalated by the way we handled confrontation. she
handled confrontation by avoidance. It chipped away at
me as I found that as she ran I passionately chased
wondering why she was running. I found myself in the
feminine role questioning her feelings and demanding
some emotional availability.. it crept up on me and
before I knew it I was a total wimp. I'm suprised I
didn't have a period. After I awoke from the nightmare
she was history and I had lost everything including my
home and business(bad investments, shift in my
industry)

The experience has left an undeniable scar.
Now as I rebuild myself (I liken it to superman going
back to his arctic fortess to luckily find one last
crystal to rebuild himself with) I find myself not
knowing where I fit in. That is until I've read your
information, Just the other day after reading your
seduction book/offer I went out that night and
attracted 5 women's attention. They we're certainly
aware of me. Lately i've felt like the guy just there,
that night I felt like the MAN out to have a good
time.

I haven't "re"mastered your techniques yet but I will
take my power back thanks to your insight and selfless
guidance.

Thanks Again
M - Newport Beach

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:



I've been teasing, doing the dance, and being a little
naughty. I'm also mysterious. I use everything
you've written about. The thing is that I'm a very
good looking guy and my humor may spice things up for
the girl, but it's getting boring for me.

I'm naturally funny, charismatic, and charming. I can't
seem to communicate to a girl without being turned off
by how excited they are and the uninteresting
conversations I have out of feeling bad for their
stupidity that comes out from their self-doubt and
excitement. They start moving real fast and fidgeting
around me, yet they want to keep talking to me and
finding out about me.

I feel like my looks put girls
in awe, because they just stare at me like hawks.
I've been getting secret admirer emails and phone
calls, saying "you seem to be a very nice person and I
wish I could get to know you better." Maybe that'll
give you a good picture. What do I do? Please reply,
as this is probably my most important email. I feel
kind of stuck.

Thanks man,
K
""""""""""""""""
CARLOS:

Huh.

Wow.

So you have women that are attracted to you...
You're gaming them just fine...

And now you're bored...

While every guy out there lights a candle and prays for you, I'm going to tell you that maybe it's time to - RAISE YOUR STANDARDS!

You're obviously working on women that do not challenge you. I've found that this is often a problem for guys that get this stuff down after one of my ebooks or the Alpha Man course, and then they get that empty feeling inside.

The cry out to the heavens "Is this all there is? Is there no more???"

What an existential crisis they must be going through.

Here's a prescription for you, and I think it will help you get through your crisis of faith here:

1) Realize that most women aren't very challenging once you've got your shit together. You see through their canned acts and tests and it's easier to start being the man you always suspected you were. No need to supplicate or worship them. Just be the Alpha and take the lead.

2) Move up to a higher class woman. Find a rich chick with DD implants and lots of disposable income, as well as a yacht and a Lear jet. Call her your sugar mama. Then send me a monthly support check.

3) Get plastic surgery and make yourself real plain looking so you can feel that electric thrill of attracting women again with a challenge to overcome. Seriously, stop crying to me that you get all the women you want because you won the genetic lottery and learned how to attract women from my books. (You aren't 100% "natural." :) Don't identify with your looks, because one day they won't do you anything and you'll have to stand on quality of character and ability. That's where you can really shine, if you want.

5) Start deciding what it is you want out of life.

That last one - #5 - I am dead serious about.

Inevitably when guys set their sights on winning women over, and then they learn how the game goes, and they get some easy success. They start to sabotage themselves.

Why?

Because they thought this was THE ultimate goal. To attract women and get laid. And when that gets easy, they start to lose faith and motivation.

You see women inspire men to dare to accomplish great things.

And when they realize it means we don't worship them anymore, they try to distract us from finishing them.

I'm kidding... sorta.

What you have to do is find a noble goal that will challenge you, besides women.

If you set that as your primary achievement in life, you'll always be disappointed.

Trust me.

Love them, lead them, make them happy they've got you, but don't make them your be-all end-all.

Even women don't want that.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Did you notice?



Did you guys notice the name of Will Smith's company in the movie "Hitch?"

Dynamic Dating.

Pretty funny, huh? I think the writers were lurking at my site...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

Hey, I have a question for you.

I just went though this messy breakup with my girlfriend two days ago
over a stupid argument. We still talk sometimes but she is usually
distant in the conversations. Im intrested in getting her back but I
don't know how to go about this.

In the past, chasing the ex girlfreind and acting depressed out of a breakup always ended in failure. So there is no way in hell im going to do that again and screw this up. The thing is... im not really sure on how to go about this. So far, i've been
trying to be upbeat and aloof around her and people she knows. Do you
have any rules or guidlines to go about getting back together with an
ex? Right now my situation is pretty tricky as I don't have a place I
normaly see her so the only ways I can talk to her is by the phone or
messenger on the computer. I haven't messaged her recently because I
wanted to get her some space.

Any advice would be appreciated greatly
"""""""
CARLOS:

Well, I've become something of an expert at reading between the lines in emails.

And, from what you're saying, you're definitely getting the right idea. Acting all sulky and down about losing a girl only cements in her mind why you two broke up.

You didn't say who broke up with whom, but I'm going to guess that she broke up with you. If so, that's a bad thing. She's not going to want to go back on her decision. It messes too much with her sense of independence and good judgment.

So you better have a good and convincing case for her return. Don't make promises that you've "changed" or any of that crap.

You also realized that space is the thing to do. If you crowd her now, she'll pull away forever.

I'd suggest you call her up and tell her that you want to meet her for coffee to talk about something you have in mind. ABSOLUTELY DO NOT TELL HER WHAT IT IS ON THE PHONE.

Her curiosity will provoke her to meet with you, and there you can proceed to:

A) Charm her - be a gentleman - CONFIDENT

B) Make her laugh - If you don't get her cheerful inside, she won't entertain the thought of a return

C) Don't make any promises or overtures to "get back together." Just move in on her and woo her a little. Throw a little romance on her. Flirt with her.

D) Hint that you MAY have made a mistake. As if YOU are the one who is thinking about MAYBE getting back with her again. You want to see how she reacts. If she pulls away, she's not that interested in trying again. If she warms to the idea, she's probably been thinking about it, too.

E) Take your freakin' time! Go slow.

Oh, and start making plans in case you're now a single guy. Start talking to other women and easing yourself back into the game. Cover yourself and prepare a plan for recovery.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SMILING:

Hey Carlos,

I have an important question to ask you. Now, I have been spending a lot of time around this stuff (about a year) and its almost like I have come to the conclusion that it is not good to smile (as it shows that you are insecure). I have cultivated this attitude of confidence mixed with seriousness. I walk confidently, insert pauses into my conversations, and use slow movements and gestures. I used to smile more but its almost as if I feel that if i do then I am coming across as insecure.

I love to smile usually, it makes me feel good but I don't want to use it in a way that comes across as insecure. I am talking about smiling when I greet someone new, or smiling when talking sometimes.

How do I use it effectively Carlos in everyday interactions with both men and women? Thanks a lot man.

Your loyal customer,
Ron N.


"""""""""""""""""
CARLOS:

Good question. A lot of guys don't know how to smile or when in their interactions. And, as a result, they come across as a bit too "approval seeking."

I will recommend you do this, though: Unless you're one of those guys that wears a goofy-ass smile on his face ALL the time, don't feel like you have to stop from smiling. It's a bad thing to have to contradict your natural need to be happy.

But if you are one of those guys who smile TOO much, and it is possible, you should learn to lay back on the smiling a bit.

Make sure you're smiling for the right reasons and you'll never go wrong. If, as you say, you're smiling just because you feel the love and happiness inside you, then don't hold that back. That would be neurotic.

But if you're trying too hard to smile, just to attract women, and those smiles aren't authentic, then you will look like a fake. Your body language will give you away.

You said "I have cultivated this attitude of confidence mixed with seriousness. "

If that's really true, then don't worry about it. Just gauge your reactions from other people. I think you'll see that they respond well to a good smile. It shows you don't take $#!+ so seriously. You'll get women much easier with that kind of approach.

It's the results that matter. If you're attracting the women, you're doing fine.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

DATING DYNAMICS NEWSLETTER - DATING ADVICE FOR MEN

ATTN Newsletter Subscribers: Make sure you confirm your subscription at the link that was sent to you over the last couple days.

Pretty soon you're going to be left off the newsletter if you don't validate your subscription right away. Check your in-box and trash just in case you missed it.

*****
QUESTION:

I'll ask you a question about Alpha man behavior, especially since you are a
martial arts instructor. I've joined a martial arts school recently and
have taken about 5 classes so far.

If a guy that is a real hot head gets in
your face, insults you, and raises his voice at you, should you
automatically fight him? Should you match his tone of voice, and get pissed
yourself, throwing insults back at him, and pushing him in the chest, which
is the almost universal form of male aggression leading to a fight? Or try
to deescalate the situation verbally?

That is definitely showing
disrespect, and I know that disrespect is totally unacceptable. I need a
better idea of when to entertain the idea of fighting, and when not to. I'm
thinking tha if I try to verbally talk him down, he may think I am a wimp
and afraid of him, and totally lose respect for me.

I know that if I got in
some guys' face, he'd prolly want to kick my ass. I also know that fighting
has repurcussions, but I want to know how to get and keep respect, even when
a dude tries me like this.
_________

CARLOS:
The first thing your sensei should teach you is that non-violence is the best measure. Remember the words from Kung-Fu, that TV show from the seventies:

"Avoid rather than check. Check rather than hurt. Hurt rather than maim. Maim rather than kill. Kill rather than be killed. For all life is precious, nor can any be replaced..."

The only time you fight is when A) you have no choice, and B) You know he's going to throw a punch. Then you strike FIRST.

The only way you get experienced at B is by feeling out people's energy, and it's not something that most can do. They're leading very insulated lives (insulated emotionally) and prefer the blind aggression to the real deal.

Remember that Martial Artists tend to be driven by ego more than ability. They put themselves in harm's way far too often because they just got their "blue" belt or some crap like that, and they endanger themselves and everyone around them.

The best approach is learning how to verbally disarm someone. I teach my students this, and my Sensei taught me this as well. You have to learn how to talk someone down out of their rage inspired moment of assault.

Why?

Because if that jackass has a shim or a knife on him, or even a gun, you know that no karate in the world can stop a bullet. You might be able to disarm them of a weapon, but don't count on getting away without bloodshed.

That being said, you do not escalate verbal confrontation. You have to tame your anger and learn how to VERBALLY SPAR. You have to learn how to manipulate conversation and defuse these guys.

You learn how to defend yourself physically... so it stands to reason that you better learn how to defend yourself verbally, too.

The way that you show that disrespect is unacceptable is by not accepting it, but not by throwing punches or returning in-kind.

You simply say something like, "Now why would you say something like that? I thing you're a pretty cool guy. I don't understand why you want to disrespect me like that when we're having a perfectly fun conversation here. Why is that?"

Watch how Richard Dreyfuss does this in "Stakeout." He talks down a drunk angry guy with just a few confidently placed actions and words.

************************
QUESTION - SORT OF...

Here's the first email from this guy:

"I disagree with your definition of a Alpha Male. The term represents the ancient archetype of the leader of small tribes and family's from our caveman days.

It isn't some nice guy running around in modern society. And for you to say he lacks aggression??? WTF Carlos. That is totally eroneous. Look at the history of the alpha male as being the most aggressive of males. That is why nature selected him to lead and dominate."

And here's his second email:

"what your portraying is a Real Man not a Alpha male. You should rechange your email to reflect this. Your list of criteria has nothing to do with the real archetype of the alpha male.

Who was agressive, clever, cunning, viscious and most of the things you said a alpha male was not.

Player_Supreme"


''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
CARLOS LAUGHS HEARTILY:

I get this a lot.

There are a lot of guys who love to challenge my expertise and knowledge. Apparently, in their little village, they're the experts on this sort of thing.

The interesting thing is that if someone knows so much about a topic, why do they spend so much effort to poke holes in someone else's work?

Answer: EGO

Too much insecurity and time on his hands.

But I want to address what he talks about because there is some confusion here.

First of all I'm redefining the Alpha Man. (DUH. That's why I capitalized it. And the term is Alpha MALE when referred to in scientific terms.)

The Alpha Man is aggressive, but not overtly and not in a warlike, animal fashion.

You see I'm not trying to elicit men to revert to primal behavior here.

I'm trying to get you guys laid. Not in a gang war.

BIG DIFFERENCE.

Some guys just don't get that while we are MEN deep inside, we have EVOLVED.

That means that downright aggression is going to be viewed as BAD.

This doesn't mean that I'm not willing to fight for what I believe in. In fact, I think that most guys out there would rather avoid a confrontation. But you have to learn how to use that anger and aggression to FUEL your forward progress.

Am I making sense here?

Good.

Let's move on.

Now, he does have a point that the ARCHETYPE has these traits. Again, I'm not going to waste my time (and yours) by beating this example to death. Even though we need to emulate some of these caveman behaviors, we don't need to actually get big foreheads and drag our knuckles, now do we?

(If you're interested in what archetypes are, I suggest you study a little Carl Jung. He studied that there are symbols and examples in our lives that are standard, no matter what culture you are from. It's interesting stuff. Might even make great conversation on a date.)

Now as for other Alpha traits, I never said that Alpha Men (again, not "Male" - I'm referring to a MODERN Alpha) were not clever or cunning. In fact, in my e-book I explain this very thoroughly. The one trait a modern Alpha Man MUST have is the ability to out-THINK his enemies. Muscle is no longer the rule of the day.

In fact, it never was.

If brute force were all we needed to assure our survival, we'd never have gotten any smarter. It just so happens that intellect and wiles are much more important than physical power.

The true Alpha is able to manipulate social situations with ease.

That's why more women are Alpha than we might give them credit for.

So what you have here is a misunderstanding, probably.

This guy thought I was referring to the ideal Alpha Male, not my own modern Alpha Man. He probably was busy with this encyclopedia looking up all this great new terminology.

What he should have been doing was reading MY book... :)

If you want more Q&A, I suggest you go check out my Blog right now. I've got a ton of new information there for you, and it's updated pretty much every day.

But before you go, let me ask you something...

Are you looking to develop a few of the skills that you need to attract women? Not a ton of tricks, or magic hypnosis phrases, just a few core skills. I've got 'em.

They're not complicated, either.

I cover this and many other topics in my e-books and audio. If you'd like to learn more about how the REAL players get the women, you can download the information right away.

If you want to get that kind of understanding and control over your love life, you need to read my e-book. And you can get the benefits of my best e-books, RISK FREE for the next 90 days.

Get my books, the audio, read them and hear me explain the strategies, and then put it to work for you right away.



I'll be back with more advice soon ...

- Carlos


Send this link to someone who can use the information. Help spread the word!

------------------------------------------------------------
(c) 2003-2005 DD Publications, All Rights Reserved.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:


Hi Carlos,

I live in Rome, Italy. What happens here is that girlsare really difficult as a result of the fact that all guy are really aggressive, they literally don't let them breath. Once a guy knows a girl here he literally jumps over her - tries to kiss her aggressively right away, hugs her etc. As a result girls are really distrustful and as soon as you try to tell a girl anything she runs away, expecting that the next thing you will do is "grab" her and not let her breath.

I'm a foreigner here so I'm not like this. How can I approach in such an "anomalous" situation, how can I communicate to a girl that I just wanna know her, that I will not jump over her like everybody else does?

I'll appreciate any advice

S.G., Rome

***********
CARLOS:
Great question.

Usually this isn't as much of an issue overseas because the women are women, the men are men, and everyone is comfortable in their roles.

Here in the US, we've got all that baggage.

Women trying to be men. (The "have it all" syndrome, where they end up with nothing they want.)

Men trying to be women. (The "listen to women and believe they really want us to be sensitive" syndrome.)

Women are always open to men who can learn how to communicate with them the way they respond to.

Now you've got a couple alternatives.

You can try to overcome their thick hides. (Not recommended, way too much effort.)

Or you can slip in under their radar.

Here's what I'd do:

Get a bunch of cards made up with a single Italian phrase on it. "Voiglo conoscere te meglio..." My Italian is a little rusty, but I was trying to say: "I want to know you better..."

Then say, "Scusi, chiamo e?"

Or, "What's your name?"

Dont' do it with a slick Mediterranean attitude. Just look confident but reserved.

Tell her you didn't want to interrupt her day, but you suspected that you might be able to help her find some good conversation.

You'll have to find a demeanor that's less intrusive but still holds an air of confidence.

You might even find a way of asking a fairly non-intrusive question, like what the time is or where a good gelatoria is. From there just keep talking. Once you assume the right balance of interest and controlled distance, you'll do fine.

Don't tell me that ALL the women act this way, either. You just have to slip into another mode. They will pick up on your energy and read it, so you just have to find a more laid-back approach.

I've been in Roma, and the women aren't THAT scared... :)

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

HOW TO NEG-HIT OR TEASE:



QUESTION FROM A READER:
Carlos...Would you please do an email article on the proper way to tease a women
you are interested in - including what not to do. Thanks.........F

CARLOS:
Check out this excerpt from the Houston article:

According to the story Bashev tells me later, he began by "busting her balls," which was okay, since she was easily an eight. He saw the pack of Marlboros in her back jeans pocket, which to Europeans is a cowboy cliché. So he told her she looked like a cowboy.

Don't say that -- I don't like that image, she said.

Bashev responded by ignoring her. I'm just looking at your ass, he said. He said this because her ass is firm, and she knows it. But it was all part of the setup.

She asked if he liked it because it's firm; that's why all the guys like to look.

I didn't say I liked it. I think you should work on it in the gym.

Disbelief: Are you saying I'm fat?

Well, honey, you're really losing it. You need to hit the gym.

"And when I said that," Bashev explains, "she was really attracted to me."

Now she was hooked. He moved her inside, where, as serendipity would have it, a horse race was on TV. He caught her watching.

I thought you weren't a cowboy.

Oh, I wasn't really looking there.

Again, he ignored her, and tried running a pattern: Imagine what it would be like to be in the stands, and to not care about the competition, and get close to each other and make out…

Suspicion: Are you saying you want us to make out?

Whoops. Went too far. Time for damage control. He directed her attention to a couple at a table a few yards away.

No, I was talking about them -- see how they look into each other's eyes? A gentle nudge to her side. What, did you think I wanted to kiss you? I don't kiss strangers right away. Bingo. He reversed the frame, used her own language on herself. Damage controlled.

They moved to the couch, where he busted out an effective gimmick: palm-reading. It works for those who've really paid attention to what the girl's been saying all evening. Earlier, she told him that she changes friends a lot. So he traced along a line and said, You seem unattached to people.

Wow…remember, I told you that I was not attached to my friends?

Oh, my God. Well, I'm getting really good at this.

While he read her palms, her fingers were gently grasping the backs of his wrists. He told her he liked how it felt. So he asked where she liked to be touched.

My knees.

"I started touching her knees," he explains later. "I think that was the turning point, right there."

He left with her number and a date for Wednesday night

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

ARTICLE:


The Houston Press has an interesting article on pickup... Check it out:

Keeping Score
Get a girl in record time, then get another one
By Craig Malisow


Well, some people try to pick up girls / And get called asshole / This never happened to Pablo Picasso — Jonathan Richman, “Pablo Picasso”

We’re upstairs at the Red Door when Bashev sees his target: four girls in a flurry of tight pants and spaghetti straps. They’re hot babes. HBs.

It's a warm Friday night, and the Midtown rooftop is packed with well-dressed, attractive twentysomethings. Beautiful people in the know go to the Red Door, and the owners ward off everyone else by not even having a sign.

Before I know it, Bashev's in the girls' midst, and I think, What is he doing? A solo sortie like that takes guts. But Bashev's been studying fast-seduction for three years. He told me earlier he doesn't usually try to pick up girls ("to sarge") with wingmen, but I offer my services anyway. If we run into a pairing that includes an ugly girl (UG), I may have to -- in fast-seduction lingo -- jump on the grenade.

Bashev decided earlier to use one of his favorite stories. If a girl asks what the 24-year-old does, he's not going to say he's an engineering grad student at Rice. He's studied hypertechnical concepts at Amherst and the University of Massachusetts, but big freakin' deal: Women don't like the "ultra-rational" mind, he says. They like the unpredictable.

He spends most of his time in class, bogged down in technical studies. He once worked on a project titled "Automated Synthesis of Numerical Programs for Control, Simulation and Animation of Virtual Robots." Women don't want that dude, he says. They want mystery, romance, fun.

Bashev once took a girl he liked to his computer lab at school, where he deconstructs algorithms and multivariable calculus. He wooed her for a semester with linear algebra and software design methodology. Unbelievably, she split.

So that's why he'll get women to ask what he does, whereupon he'll point to his shoes and casually say, "I'm a foot model." Tonight, I'm to be his colleague, a model of the posterior. He doesn't expect them to really believe it; it's just supposed to distinguish us from the endless succession of cheeseballs who drop the same tired lines.

Bashev is tall and lean, with short light brown hair and a friendly Bulgarian accent. So he should have an edge, but by the time I work up the nerve to actually say something like "Yes, you heard correctly; I'm an ass model," a girl with long black hair has already shot him down. He didn't even get to his foot-model spiel. So he just opens with one of her friends. He asks if she thinks American reality shows are really real.

The first girl looks at me, rolls her eyes and says she doesn't care in the first place. I just stand there and do a really good impression of a dude who has nothing to say.

Bashev's not a bad-looking guy, but he's not getting anywhere. In the parlance of fast-seduction, these girls have just demonstrated the bitch shield. It's kind of like an electrified razor-wire force field they activate to fend off idiots at places like this. It doesn't mean the girl's a bitch. It means she's acting like one to protect herself from the silk-shirted vultures who want to talk about their Beemers and Bulovas.

A genuine pickup artist (PUA) can penetrate the bitch shield through sheer wit and charm. But Bashev's not an official PUA, and pretty soon we're treated like we're invisible. The girls eventually form their own continent and drift away to a table. Bashev smiles, shrugs it off. He's just getting warmed up. There's plenty more sarging to take care of. I head to the bar while the lazy lion of the Serengeti surveys the scene.


I like the intro line about "reality shows being real." That's very use-able.

The rest of this is available at their site...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

LETTER FROM A GAL:


I got this from a woman who appreciates the finer things in life:

TY, Carlos! I am a woman, very attractive, etc. and I love Alpha men! Its true! Good luck with the book. Ever consider a dating site for Alpha men? Lots of us would like that!

-J

--------

Yeah, for you that dating service is called "See You At My Place Tomorrow Night..." :)

Actually, such a dating site would fail because real Alpha Men are out there and in-demand.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

I'll ask you a question about Alpha man behavior, especially since you are a
martial arts instructor. I've joined a martial arts school recently and
have taken about 5 classes so far.

If a guy that is a real hot head gets in
your face, insults you, and raises his voice at you, should you
automatically fight him? Should you match his tone of voice, and get pissed
yourself, throwing insults back at him, and pushing him in the chest, which
is the almost universal form of male aggression leading to a fight? Or try
to deescalate the situation verbally?

That is definitely showing
disrespect, and I know that disrespect is totally unacceptable. I need a
better idea of when to entertain the idea of fighting, and when not to. I'm
thinking tha if I try to verbally talk him down, he may think I am a wimp
and afraid of him, and totally lose respect for me.

I know that if I got in
some guys' face, he'd prolly want to kick my ass. I also know that fighting
has repurcussions, but I want to know how to get and keep respect, even when
a dude tries me like this.


CARLOS:
The first thing your sensei should teach you is that non-violence is the best measure. Remember the words from Kung-Fu, that TV show from the seventies:

"Avoid rather than check. Check rather than hurt. Hurt rather than maim. Maim rather than kill. Kill rather than be killed. For all life is precious, nor can any be replaced..."

The only time you fight is when A) you have no choice, and B) You know he's going to throw a punch. Then you strike FIRST.

The only way you get experienced at B is by feeling out people's energy, and it's not something that most can do. They're leading very insulated lives (insulated emotionally) and prefer the blind aggression to the real deal.

Remember that Martial Artists tend to be driven by ego more than ability. They put themselves in harm's way far too often because they just got their "blue" belt or some crap like that, and they endanger themselves and everyone around them.

The best approach is learning how to verbally disarm someone. I teach my students this, and my Sensei taught me this as well. You have to learn how to talk someone down out of their rage inspired moment of assault.

Why?

Because if that jackass has a shim or a knife on him, or even a gun, you know that no karate in the world can stop a bullet. You might be able to disarm them of a weapon, but don't count on getting away without bloodshed.

That being said, you do not escalate verbal confrontation. You have to tame your anger and learn how to VERBALLY SPAR. You have to learn how to manipulate conversation and defuse these guys.

You learn how to defend yourself physically... so it stands to reason that you better learn how to defend yourself verbally, too.

The way that you show that disrespect is unacceptable is by not accepting it, but not by throwing punches or returning in-kind.

You simply say something like, "Now why would you say something like that? I thing you're a pretty cool guy. I don't understand why you want to disrespect me like that when we're having a perfectly fun conversation here. Why is that?"

Watch how Richard Dreyfuss does this in "Stakeout." He talks down a drunk angry guy with just a few confidently placed actions and words.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, June 19, 2005

We've got the proof for you...


I told you guys a couple days back that we did a case study with someone to prove how well the materials work in REAL life. Well, I've got the link to the report for you that you can download at your own leisure.

It was prepared by the webmaster of this site. It's impartial (he's not affiliated with me at all) so you can be sure the information is accurate.

Check it out HERE

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

New Podcast!



Go get it HERE...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, June 18, 2005

WHAT A WOMAN WANTS:



I got this from C, the "anonymous" lady who's been sending in some great stuff lately on what a woman wants in a man. She sent me some more today that I thought you guys simply HAD to see.

---------------

A friend asked me the other day if it was cool for a guy to partake in “designer drinks,” like cosmopolitans... Initially, I thought of course, I serve them up to my male friends all the time. It’s actually quite sexy to see a man who is so confident in his sexuality. One caveat however, please do not go to a bar alone and order a Cosmo or anything with a parasol for that matter. If you must have a pink drink at least order it in a rocks glass!

As feminine as I am, I rather prefer my cocktail in a strong, solid glass- there’s something about holding on to a spindly, delicate stem that just doesn’t do it for me.
Women can sit at a bar alone, order a bottled beer, and seductively drink it with no retribution. Sorry guys, such is life!

If you ask a gal what a woman wants, their answers will be pretty “predictable”. You all know the discourse so I don’t have to reiterate it here. It sounds something like what the contestants at a Ms. America Contest recite, “peace on earth.” The truth of the matter is not all women want the same thing; there are many women like myself that aren’t afraid to want it “all.”

Last time I wrote here I was telling a story about an interlude I had with an old friend…

David didn’t waste anytime getting my attention, as I said the sexual tension was intense.

After a few days, the innocuous emails gathered some momentum and went from mild flirting, to hot and steamy. As we were on different coasts, I didn’t take it all too seriously and just kind of went with the flow.

David started to email me and call me a number of times a day. When I asked that he, cool down on the quantity and quality of the emails, and calls, his tone totally changed.
A number of his messages started off with, “because I am a really nice guy”….

David thought that I wanted him to dote on me- but what was really going on was he had lost his sense of self. All of that sexual tension disappeared into cyberspace and I was left with a cute puppy dog.

As he lost all of his confidence, my interest started to wane. He did briefly arouse me in a voice mail he left me after indulging in a few martinis. He was forceful, and told me “I had better wait it out, and how it’s been all about me and that was going to change! “

Unfortunately, the next day he apologized- even after I told him that his voicemail stirred things up a bit. What initially attracted me to David was that he was intelligent, honorable, witty, sexy, flirtatious, and unpredictable. He initiated the seduction dance by being coy, daring, and, deliberate. The element of surprise, which had caught my attention had vanished, and frankly so did I.

I am certainly not immune to all the attention I was getting from him; I love flowers, flattery, romance…

And oh yea, I truly do want peace on earth- I just want to share it with a man who is comfortable with his masculinity… spontaneous, sexy, seductive, intriguing, adoring, amorous, distracting, hilarious, coquettish, and unpredictable.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, June 17, 2005

SURVEY - IMPORTANT!



Guys, we're starting an important survey today. We want to find out from all you guys what you want next to help you develop your abilities. Every guy out there wants a girlfriend - and we want to give you the skills you need to attract women and get laid.

So go on over to our Home Page and look down the left side of the page. You'll see a quick survey that you can just check the one you're most interested in. This will help us a great deal.

Thanks!

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

C&F isn't everything...



Just found out about this entry from BG, reprinted here.

Essentially, guys, keep in mind that C&F (Cocky and Funny) is not the be-all end-all of stimulating female attraction. You know that I preach a balance of teasing and learning how to calibrate to women.

So be careful about following anything too closely to the word. It's the SPIRIT of the words.

Read this:

BG writes:
Watch out for the Double Your Dating eBook guys. There's some advice in there that's simply false, incorrect, incomplete or confusing.

For instance:

David DeAngelo says to not touch a girl when you meet her. Act distant. This is hard to get for wussies!! A 10 knows you want her. Be a man, show her that you're not afraid to touch her.

David DeAngelo says to stay cocky and funny all the time (throughout the first ten dates or so). What the fuck!? "Never drop that social mask, because she'll see the wussy". For AFC's this might be true, but not being C&F doesn't equal being a wussy. Just be relaxed, try to make a connection, create a comfortable situation where the two of you learn to trust each other. That's rapport! Staying on C&F is just lame and can come across as: insecure, 'too cool for her' (over-qualification), or coming across as a jerk who's actually not interested in her. C&F can blow you out.

There's one post where I am in a club.. And I'm looking for some girl, because I'm leaving and I have to ask for her number. So I walk around, spot her on the dance floor, but I'm too afraid to go up to her, because she had already spotted me. I actually thought that going right up to her would come across as NEEDY and desperate! Haha. And that's what I learnt from DYD.. So it actually turned me into a bigger wuss on some areas.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, June 16, 2005

DATING ADVICE:



I need help with a girl whom am seeking to restart our old relationship, please help me?

About mid-1999 we started a relationship which lasted for about a year. For my part, that was our first relationship then. Anyway, about April 2000 I left for Hungary to continue my education and she left for England and we still continued our relationship till after the easter season of 2001.

Before that, we kept in close contact. I visited her during the Christmas break of 2000 and must admit that was one of the best highlight of our relationship. However, early 2001 she wasn't replying my email messages as often as she used to which got me concerned. To make it worse, I was having a conversation with her on the internet and some guy all of a sudden was talking on her behalf.

As a result of this, gave her a visit to spend the easter with her, but turned out that she wouldn't fancy me visiting her at home or calling her apartment. That made me come to the conclusion that she probably doesn't fancy me as she used to so I broke up with her(but very recently she told me on one of our phone calls that my judgement were wrong).

With that said, It has been almost four years since we've been seperated without any calls or mails between each other. I have to say though I have had two relationship during our seperation but it not like I had with her. We are now keeping in touch again and she has written stuffs like (I'm still thinking of you) in her emails, I for sure wouldn't mind starting all over again.

By the way we are both students and we are both not financially fit at the moment to pay each other a visit.

Any advice on how to go about this far distance makeover.
--------
CARLOS:

Whoah there, nellie.

I understand all the history you've got with this girl, and that there may (or may NOT) be some feelings again that have come up, but the one thing you can't ignore is this - REALITY.

The REALITY is that you can't see each other in person. You told me you're students and you can't make the trips because of no money.

That right there seals your fate. You can't start up with her again through email or phone. No matter what the other gurus out there might say. You can't attract women or get a girlfriend when you're far apart. That's not what women want.

If you have no in-person contact, all you're going to do is work up your fever pitch about being with this girl until you do something foolish to relieve the pressure, like relocate, or start selling drugs to get hear near you.

Until you get near her again, here's what you do: Get a girlfriend where you are!

Don't waste time waiting and hoping to get a woman that wasn't really all that great to begin with. Did you forget that she had her other boyfriend handling her emails to you? What a chickenshit thing to do.


Remember this: The memory is always better than the reality.


alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE:



My first question is, have you ever had one girl you were interested in, but
the chances seemed less likely because her friend liked you? What do you do
in this situation?

My second question is how do you redeem yourself in front of girls if you
kinda get carried away and make yourself look foolish in front of everyone?
Have you ever done this before?

-----------------------
CARLOS:

This is a classic "cock-blocking" scenario, where a girl's friend can decide your fate.

First of all, you have to determine how close the girl you want is to the girl who wants you. If their friendship is really important, you are likely to be the casualty.

On the other hand, if you handle the situation correctly and make sure that you are not leading on this girl's friend, and it's obvious to everyone that you're only into her as a friend, then the intent is clear. You have to use some tact in dealing with the one that likes you, because if she turns on you because you're not interested, she can break your chances with the other girl.

Be assertive and go after the one you want. Get her attracted to you. And after you've driven up her buying temperature so high that it melts asphalt, she'll want you more than she worries about her friend. After all, she knows the score, and SOMEONE has to get you.

Keep your value up.

As for the acting foolish thing, just play it off. You're already caring too much about what they think of you, and this will come across in your body language and attitude. Don't live life looking in your rearview mirror. Move onward and forward after what you want.

Redemption is for sissies. No man needs to "redeem" himself for his own behavior, as long as it didn't cause anyone else harm but himself. Get back into your confidence skin as fast as possible before you start getting sensitive and crying over soap operas.

My advice? Get back in the game and fuggedaboutit.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Big news...



We just got an impartial review done on the Dating Black Book over at Seduction Reports.com.

They did a case study on a guy over the course of a few months to see how the Dating Black Book would improve his dating life and ability to pull down women. I'm pleased to say that we passed with flying colors!

The report is Free, and you can download it right now by clicking HERE


Just goes to show you that the proof is in there. A lot of guys make claims about their materials and what they can do, but now you know I can DELIVER.

This is where I do my cool-dude strut...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

DATING ADVICE:


Hey Carlos .

You said in Audio coaching 21 you had advice ON getting the girl who is your friend and turning into your fFRIEND . I have tried every angle in you book which I have read 5 times . It has worked a lot on different women . Personally I have pulled 3 hook ups last weekend in one night at 2 different bars.

Now heres the kicker . Everyone around me when we are together(me and the women FRIEND) say she is into me and it is obvious but I have tried everything in your book and every attitude adjustment but I still can't get her to come around . The reason why I am on this so much is because we really do connect and everyone sees it she will not even look at another guy when we are togther in a bar and I have tried just going for her with her but it always seems the next day she brings it down a notch and even if I try and keep it at the same level she just in th mod of herself brings it back to friends . Basically I want to know from the audio coaching 21 what you would do in my situation because if you give me the advise and it doesnt work she is out of my life . I have been unavaliable to her and she finds out where I am . If you say get away I will follow your adivise . what ever you say I will do . You have proven your system to me going from getting next to nothing to the last few weeks of getting some hotties well the proof is in the pudding

CARLOS:

Again, wanting the one you can't have...

Think about this:

The reason you're so into her is because she's CHALLENGING YOU by being the ONE you can't get.

Understand?

The other trick of this situation is that all the signs SEEM to point to her being into you. But let's be honest here. If she's into you, she'll MAKE time to have you around her.

This isn't brain surgery.

If she's into you, she'll go for it. If there's sufficient attraction, she WILL want more.

And if she IS into you, and she doesn't MAKE that time, well that's just damn neurotic, dude. Would you want her in your life if she never showed you her interest?

I'm not going to tell you to drop her, but I'm going to tell you to step back and observe that you have all this interest in her because she hasn't come around to you.

Remember, if you do what I instruct in my e-book, you'll have no problem getting more women, as you've obviously discovered, and you won't miss this one.

Here's a strategy:

Get your friend a little drunk. See if that lowers her inhibitions to the possibility of doing you.

If not, move on. Time's a-wasting... you've got a lot of women to seduce...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, June 13, 2005

DATING ADVICE NEWSLETTER - 6-13-2005

How to get a girlfriend...



Okay, guys... it's time to really crack the whip on this...

You need to get over and start reading my Blog. It's important, because you're missing out on a lot of information if you don't.

Did you know about our new Podcast? Regular weekly advice on AUDIO that you can download now?

Go here RIGHT NOW:

http://www.datingdynamics.com/blog/blog.htm

Add it to your newsfeed reader, too, and you'll see the updates as I post them. There are a ton of free newsfeed readers out there, so grab one.

************************
QUESTION ABOUT ONLINE AD:

Hey Carlos,

Your Blog is one of the most greatest ideas that you came up with other than your "Women Understanding Wisdom" (WUW another one for you), my question is how do I recreate my online profile? And how do I change it from Boring Needy Wuss to Deserving Alpha Man?

Here's my profile:

About Me: "I'm very intelligent, down to earth, very liberal, and adventurous. I am very strong physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I always stand up for what I believe in and fight for what's right. Also I am very trusting and loyal and respectful. Another great trait about me is I'm very bold and not afraid to be who I am. Personally I'm what women are looking for in a real man known as Mr. Right. I have a wild side (I'm a bite of Bad Boy/ Adventurous and Dare Devilish) known as the "MAN" that your mother has warned you about. But hey, we both know you never listen.

You are looking for: Looking for a girl who has a similar personality like mine, but other different unique qualities as well. Some whose confident and independent (not y and superficial), responsible, down to earth, very liberal and open-minded, strong and sensitive, and very respectful to people and men with a good heart.

Most important she's very simple not shallow and and high maintenance. Someone who appreciates the finer things of life and honors values. Also has morals and integrity and is very confident in herself. To very honest, I like Asian women (with beautiful hands and sexy Feet) nothing personal nor disrespectful to nobody, that's just what I like. But if you your the type of girl (regardless of what walks of life your from) who has what it take be my mate, and satisfy me "intimately". I'll be open too changing my mind.

My idea of the perfect first date: is a very romantic peaceful walk on the southern California / Hawaiian beach coast (or any beach wherever we are). Where we are laughing and talking with each other, and just having a great time with each other.

My perception of an ideal relationship: Where me and my mate are always happy and enjoy being with each other. Going out and being in the great outdoors of doing things and when her and I at sitting on the sofa and cuddling with each other and romantically sweet talking and talking dirty to arose each other. With teasing and physically touching each other and making out.

What I've learned from my past relationships: Never assume that people that you like is going be what you want them to be. Always take it slow and get too know them before you have feelings for them.

Please give me helpful advice to this list of 5 and examples to this profile, your Antiwuss-Bitch-Slapping is greatly appreciated.

Guidance Needed,

C.J.D., NJ

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
CARLOS GIVES UP SOME GOOD STUFF:

Ah, well then, let me administer the stinging slap of bitch-dom.

Here's a rule I want you playa's out there to remember: Don't be afraid to scare away the women you don't want.

Sounds kind of obvious, but you'd be amazed how many guys are trying to create the profile that wins them all. Or they go into this with the idea that they can avoid offending anyone.

Life is hard. Wear a cup.

As I like to say.

So, when writing your profile, write it with the person in mind you want to read it and go, "Hey, that's cool..."

Write with your audience in mind.

Now, let me clear something up right now:

No matter how much or how clearly you write what you WANT in your profile, you will have tons of women read it and THINK that's them - or WANT to think that it's them.

In other words, saying what you want doesn't get you what you want online. It's not like making a grocery list. You'll get women who are 20-30 pounds overweight who haven't seen a gym since sixth grade writing you, even though you asked for someone who you can "workout with."

It never ceases to amaze me what I used to get all the time. It got so bad I almost wanted to start writing:

"ALL FAT BROADS NEED NOT APPLY."

Kinda harsh, but come on, man. What part of "athletic build" did you not understand?

So, with that in mind, here's the way you need to construct your profile:

Make it FUN.

Just go crazy with it. Have a blast. Don't worry about getting all specific about your description so that you get the perfect woman. The fact is that the woman that will match you will probably not really match her own profile after you get to know her.

Sad truth.

So what you have to do is just inject your profile with a bunch of fun stuff that she'll latch on to and go with.

You see, you want the kind of woman who responds to a fun and offbeat profile. (At least I hope so.) You want a woman with a sense of humor and adventure.

And that kind of woman WILL respond to a more laid back and less specific profile.

Face it - you'll probably end up screening out most of them on the phone anyway, so why try to do too much unnecessary work in your online information? It doesn't work, so you might as well cast a wider net.

Plus, when guys state what they want in their profiles, women actually LOOK to exclude themselves based on their INTERPRETATION of what you said.

And we know how well they do that.

And remember that you can't TELL her you're this or that (such as a "bad boy...")

A real bad boy would never SAY it.

Instead you must SHOW it. With your words and your cocky attitude.

Try this:

"So if you're the kind of girl that likes eating fruit off the tree, or off the stomach of a really close buddy, or you just like to lick your fingers and pretend, I won't tell... Or maybe you're the kind of girl who's daring enough to jump in a cool lake on a hot day with her clothes on ... So why are you still reading this? Send me an email! The worst thing that could happen is that you fall madly in love with my dimples and start stalking me. Wait, on second thought..."

See how that works? I just totally riffed that off the top of my head, and I'm sure it shows, but it's unique and it doesn't scream out NEEDY WUSS. It stands out.

Now all you have to do is come up with some of these on your own. It's not hard. Just sit down and start typing some experimental stuff into your computer.

Remember, if it doesn't work, you can always revise and change it. Nothing is permanent in cyberspace.

Are you looking to develop a few of the skills that you need to attract women? Not a ton of tricks, or magic hypnosis phrases, just a few core skills. I've got 'em.

They're not complicated, either.

I cover this and many other topics in my e-books and audio. If you'd like to learn more about how the REAL players get the women, you can download the information right away.

If you want to get that kind of understanding and control over your love life, you need to read my e-book. And you can get the benefits of my best e-books, RISK FREE for the next 90 days.

Get my books, the audio, read them and hear me explain the strategies, and then put it to work for you right away.

I wrote them in a simple, easy-to-use format that ANYONE can learn. Nothing is complicated, and there's no dumb hypnosis routines to learn. Just the stuff that will help YOU get more success with women.

THE DATING BLACK BOOK - This e-book set covers the dating scene, from meeting women, to your best attitude, to strategies, to how to touch women, to driving up their attraction, to dumping them when you need to move on. Looking for a woman? This book shows you the BIG picture.

Put this link in your browser to download it: www.datingdynamics.com

SECRETS OF THE ALPHA MAN - This e-book and CD coaching covers your inner game, from meeting women, to cultivating complete confidence, to life and success strategies, to understanding what the winners and Alpha Men in life have that you can have, too. Looking for a better lifestyle and inner confidence, as well as more women? This book shows you a map to a more successful LIFE.

Put this link in your browser to see all the great stuff in this set: www.alphaseduction.com

ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING - And if you're like most guys that love to hear advice and audible examples of things to learn by, and you want new and fresh tips every single month, The ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING is something for you to get.

Each month we go into loads of detail about every aspect of dating and seduction. From what to say to what to wear, to what to cook, to what to do when it's time to close the deal. Every session is over 100 minutes of top-quality digital audio that you can download and listen to right away. No waiting for a CD to ship!

You can even get the complete first year (over 21 hours of audio) in a special deal at the site...

Put this link in your browser to check it out: www.datingdynamics.com

I'm in this to help you, educating men to do better in their lives in the one thing that has eluded us for thousands of years - SUCCESS WITH WOMEN.

Is there ANYTHING more important?

Remember life is too short, and death is too long.

Don't wait until your heart is broken before you take steps to learn how this game is played.

Get the information on how to improve your dating life TODAY. Make the changes you need to make to get the love, bedroom action, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.


I'll be back with more advice soon ...

This is the year for you to get successful with women!

- Carlos

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

First Pic:



Well, here's my first picture of a woman sent in by one of our crew... Looks schweeeet....

CLICK HERE

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Question from a reader:



Hey Carlos,

about sending pics... what exactly do you mean "no nudes"? I recently photographed this amazing gal, semi - nude, but in a quite "artistic" way... just showing the back, no tits or anything. Does it qualify?

Also, it would be great if you'd post something on the "taking pictures" thing. I try to do it often, but my successes are some 50%. I know how to compliment a woman on her body (without actually telling her and being wimpy), and i get the results (photographic and otherwise), but i still think i miss something. I think that photos is a great tool we can use anytime. Of course, the photos are always "art". Doing some photoshop work on them, black and white etc.

PS
Thanx for everything!

DH
Greece


Well, let's say this - No naked boobies or butt or bush. (3 B's.) Everything else that's tasteful and won't get me an R-rating by the MPAA is fine by me.

And if you're getting 50%, you're doing good. Most women are very sensitive about getting their picture taken.

Why?

BECAUSE PICTURES DON'T LIE!

Think about that for a minute or two.

Oh, and I just finished up an interview with Thundercat. I'll be sending you guys more info on how to get hold of it - along with some other great stuff - very soon.


alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

New Podcast!



The location of the Seduction Times regular podcast has changed.

What's a podcast?

Well, my friends, it's a regular "radio show" MP3 file you can get each week. Now, it's a limited availability, so you have to keep an eye on the site for when I post these. You can put this in your newsfeeder (use something like FeedDemon, or start browsing with Firefox. If you haven't started using Firefox instead of Internet Explorer, you NEED to start now!)


It's now available here:

Podcast URL:
http://www.alphaseduction.com/podcast/podcast.htm

And if you want to add it to your newsfeed, use this feed address:

Podcast feed:
http://www.alphaseduction.com/podcast/atom.xml

So change your links and bookmarks.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, June 11, 2005

PART I of THE TEASE



A lady "companion" of mine (she hates the term "buddy," so I'll be discreet here) wrote this treasure to give you guys an understanding of what will attract women. Remember that this is from a woman's point of view. Note HOW she writes this as well as WHAT she writes.

This first part will show you some of what women want:

********
It’s no mystery that men are easily turned on to a woman’s physical attributes. Women on the other hand, are often more turned on by the sexual tension that leads to sex. Of course, women are turned on to physically impressive, handsome men. But listen carefully gentlemen; you do not have to be gorgeous to attract women. You do have to be sexy, confident, and mysterious.

Sergio Garcia is a perfect example. I guarantee you it’s not his golf swing that attract women to him! And it’s not his physique; he’s not even handsome! What makes Garcia so alluring is his sexy, stormy, masculine magnetism.

Speaking of sexual tension, I recently went back to attend my high school reunion.
A guy I have known since the 4th grade approached me the moment I walked in the door.
David and I definitely didn’t hang out together in high school. He told me, the night of the reunion that “I was in the cool group,” and he had always been afraid and too shy to approach me.

Not so on this night. David immediately brought me a cocktail and told me that he had fantasized about me for a long time. I was a little taken aback by his boldness, and I confess somewhat intrigued. I had always liked him, because what he lacked in physicality he made up with his great sense of humor. He actually looked rather handsome this night in his dark well-fitted suit. David had obviously been hitting the gym; that young insecure lanky boy he once was, was nowhere to be found.

This was the first reunion I had ever attended, and having traveled the furthest, I received a lot of attention. David never lost sight of me; he would make his ‘rounds,’ and then come and find me. Anytime I was talking with another guy he would come and take my hand, and either take me out on the dance floor or introduce me to someone I undoubtedly had forgotten...

As the night started to wind down a group of us decided to get together and go find something else to do. This is a big city - somehow we ended up at a Diner. As there were approximately 25 of us, the chairs were pushed very close together. David made sure I sat down next to him. Before we even ordered our food, David slipped his hands under the table and began to caress my thighs. He kept his hands in contact with my body the entire time we were there. I marveled a bit, that he was able to eat, drink, and carry on conversations with one hand very occupied.

The sexual tension was intense, and it was even more exciting that no one
at the table was aware of what was ‘going on’ under the table!

Before I knew it, my two girlfriends I was sharing a suite with had called a taxi. We got back to our suite at about 4:00AM. Sleep eluded me, so I slipped into a hot bath and mused over the evenings events. I would have never thought in a million years I would have been attracted to David.

The next day I received 3 calls from guys at the party. David was one of them and the only one who held my interest. My flight left the next day; it was a long trip home.

********

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, June 10, 2005

APB - Send us your pictures!



Okay, guys, I'm looking for you to send me pictures of you with the girls you've been hanging with and dating. They can be party shots, smooch shots, whatever. (No nudes, please.)

I'd like for you all to start showing off the ladies here. I'll post them on occasion.

Keep them small, and email them to us here at:
advice@datingdynamics.com

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SM NEWSLETTER



Seduction Smarts-

On to the newsletter ...
_______________
QUESTION:

Hi Carlos,

I've been struggling a bit, but I've noticed a lot of
black guys getting so much play it's ridiculous. They
have bad manners, are arrogant as hell, very
aggressive, and just flat out stupid. I see a lot of
good girls highly attracted to them and it kind of
makes me sick because these guys aren't good guys, in
my opinion.

I don't want any advice on what I should
do about my mindset...I want some advice on what these
guys might have that I don't, or what they display
that I don't, that's key to their success.

Thanks,
K
_______________
CARLOS SAYS NO WAY MAN - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR:

Here's where I have to stop you and say, WHOAHHHHH there fella.

You're COMPLETELY missing the point.

It SEEMS like there's something to learn here, but you're not seeing past their behavior to the reality. It would be one thing if you were asking me how you can learn from what these guys have (and you're trying to ask this), but instead you're doing the "I'm so much better than these guys, they don't deserve to have women, and I'm now getting bitter about it."

You might think I'm making a stretch there, but I know these things. I have been there, thinking that since I'm so nice and high-quality that women should just SEE how great I am and flock before me.

But they never do.

And I don't like to point out racial things here, because I pride myself on letting go of that whole "black" or "white" or "yellow" thing. We're all humans, man. We're in this thing together. I really believe that.

But I also see that the brothers out there know how to get the game on with women. They're more straightforward, and they're less bashful about showing that they are really MEN.

I admire the hell out of that.

As for the attitude, it's not about "What do they have that I don't?"

That's the comparison game. And you ALWAYS lose when you play.

You said: "I don't want any advice on what I should do about my mindset..."

That's the problem right there. You're not willing to take a cold, hard look at yourself and figure out how to make what YOU have work for YOU. Instead you want to whine about what other guys have that you think you should have.

I know that you're hoping to find some hidden key, but you COULD start by watching their behavior closely and reading between the lines...

See how these guys ACT, but don't try to imitate them.

What they're doing is not attracting these women by their bad manners or "stupidity."

It's the BELIEF that underlies these behaviors.

I think if you look closely, you'll see the following:

- A "don't-take-no-sh*t" attitude
- They don't act like whiney little girls
- They're fun and exciting, no matter how arrogant you think they may be...
- They're confident - even in their childish behavior
- They're willing to put their s*e(xual interest in a woman out there for her to see - they're not afraid to be MEN and show it

You're right, I tell guys a lot that they need to spend time working on their attitudes.

When I say that, I don't mean that it's your FAULT. I mean that you will gain much more in development if you work on your own confidence than trying to "figure out" someone else's.

Make sense?

It's not solely their BEHAVIOR that helps these guys get women... it's their ATTITUDE underneath that tells the story.

Re read the section of my book on the "Bad Boy." That should put things back in proper perspective.
_______________
QUESTION:

First off thanks so much for your ebooks, the difference it's made to my
dating and more importantly (never thought i'd be saying this!) my personal
life and work life has been gobsmacking.

i've been dating many women and
having great success with cocky/funny etc, but was clear from the beginning
that I was ultimately looking for a long-term relationship WHEN (and only
when) I met the RIGHT girl.

So after a long time of dating and enjoying single life, I've now got into
an exclusive relationship with a hot girl who's totally in love with me, and
does anything to please me.

What i'd like your advice on is this: How do I maintain the relationship from this point in?
Your ebooks cover the early stages of dating exceptionally well, but i'd like some pointers on keeping the balance between being affectionate and showing I appreciate her good
behaviour, and going too far the other way and potentially undoing all the
hard work i've put in.

F
_______________
CARLOS WONDERS WHAT GOBSMACKING IS ALL ABOUT:

Thanks for the kudos, F... I'm glad you're getting the success you deserve with the e-books.

If every guy out there had these books to read as teenagers, we'd have a lot more successful guys out there ... and a lot more happy women, too.

So you asked me, how do you keep what you've got?

I hate to sound like an oaf here, but it's pretty obvious, isn't it?

If you want to keep getting what you've been getting, keep doing what you've been doing!

The big mistake a lot of guys make is that they go through a lot of effort and energy to win a woman over (and not that much is really necessary, really) and then they proceed to flush it all down the toilet by turning into a solid gold CHUMP as soon as they've got her.

They get LAZY.

They think that after they've got her affections that it's a done deal.

He stops putting effort in. He becomes predictable.

He stops being fun.

And then she starts to get bored with him. She stops getting jiggy with him, or having more excuses as to why she can't stay over tonight.

And she starts to look around at other "opportunities."

And then another guy who sees her as a conquest comes along and puts the energy into her you should have been. (And not just his energy, if you know what I mean..)

Might be some guy like ME, in fact...

No, dude, don't worry, I'm not going to fly out there and undermine your relationship, but I want to be clear that it might not be me specifically, but another guy is always waiting around the corner.

So stay sharp.

Stay frosty.

Here's my simple recipe for keeping a woman happy (and she'd NEVER admit it, but she knows this works...)

Add A FEW parts vulnerability and intimacy...

Add TEN parts unpredictability

Add TWENTY parts fun and funny (sense of humor)

Add FORTY Parts of CONFIDENCE and call-her-on-her-sh*t attitude

And add a sprinkle of romantic attention in between.

Cook only a couple times per week. Make this meal scarce so that she appreciates it when it's served.

She'll be hungry for this every time if you follow the recipe.

Yes, you can send her flowers.

*(When she least expects it...)

Yes, you can compliment her.

*(When she needs it most...)

Yes, you can even maybe possibly write her a love song.

*(If she only hears it once, at the most effective time... and she spends months begging to hear it again.)

The key is to make these kinds of things IRREGULAR, MEANINGFUL, and NEVER appear as if you're giving just to receive.

It's not a transaction. You're giving because you want to give.

NO expectation of repayment.

And then, the attitude that you have when give her presents or romantic gestures is this:

"I'm showing you that I care, but I'm not going to kiss your ass. I'm not doing this to pay for access into your pant ies. I'm not doing this because I know you're going to bug me for it later. I'm not doing this to impress you. I'm not doing it because I HAVE to.

"I'm doing this because I WANT TO."

THAT is the attitude that the Alpha Man uses to keep a woman by his side...

Deep in her heart of hearts, she has to have genuine feelings for you - AND just a hint of fear that if she doesn't keep up the effort - you're out the door.

Ultimately, though, you two are going to have to venture into this uncharted territory together. I'm not going to give you specific actions because they don't exist. You have to figure them out for yourself.

You'll grow the most in the context of a mature relationship, so I salute you for making this your goal.

A lot of guys want more success with women, whether one or many.

But they're afraid to do what it takes to actually get it. This is especially true about understanding what women want.

I'm here to tell you that I've pulled together a ton of absolute killer techniques and explanations for everything you've been scratching your head about ever since you felt that first static charge near a girl on the playground. It's all explained here.

The Seduction Method e-book is DEFINITIVE. I wrote down everything I knew, and then made sure I added the value and quality that no one else has been able to do yet. I have put together a complete 300+ page book on the art of seducing women, and how you can achieve FANTASTIC results getting women in bed. It's called The Seduction Method, and it's available now for download at:

www.seductionmethod.com

And don't miss these other programs:

SECRETS OF THE ALPHA MAN - This e-book and CD coaching covers your inner game, from meeting women, to cultivating complete confidence, to life and success strategies, to understanding what the winners and Alpha Men in life have that you can have, too. Looking for a better lifestyle and inner confidence, as well as more women? This book shows you a map to a more successful LIFE.

Put this link in your browser to see all the great stuff in this set: www.alphaseduction.com

ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING - And if you're like most guys that love to hear advice and audible examples of things to learn by, and you want new and fresh tips every single month, The ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING is something for you to get.

Each month we go into loads of detail about every aspect of dating and seduction. From what to say to what to wear, to what to cook, to what to do when it's time to close the deal. Every session is over 100 minutes of top-quality digital audio that you can download and listen to right away. No waiting for a CD to ship!

You can even get the complete first year (over 21 hours of audio) in a special deal at the site...

Put this link in your browser to check it out: www.datingdynamics.com

Is there ANYTHING more important?

Time is running short for all of us, no matter how young or old you are. Don't waste precious years of your life learning by trial and error (and perhaps not learning at all).

Get the information on how to improve your dating life TODAY. Make the changes you need to make to get the love, se-x, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.

If you've ever found yourself saying, "I don't understand women!" then our e-books will finally give you the knowledge you need to finally understand. I'm telling you, it's like getting a book that describes how a certain magic trick is done that has fascinated you for years.

All my experience - my heart and soul is in these e-books and audio programs. I just know you'll enjoy them.

I'll be back with more advice soon -


This is the year for you to get busy and get successful with women!

- Carlos

www.alphaseduction.com
www.datingdynamics.com
www.seductionmethod.com


If you want to hear what everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the reviews. And download it now to see what all the fuss is about:

seductionmethod.com


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Privacy Statement: This is a no-cost e-mail newsletter that teaches men how to be more successful with women and seduction. You are receiving this because either you entered your e-mail address when you visited our website, or you agreed to be put on a subscription list through one of our online partners. We aim to comply with all proposed and current laws on commercial e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, we apologize for the inconvenience and ask that you remove yourself by clicking on the link at the very end of this message.

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alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Many of you are wondering what's up with the updates. Well, I've been on a crazy jag of organization and promotion, so there hasn't been a lot to post here. I'll get some more articles up in the next couple days. Do not fear.


This just in this morning, a guy who appreciates the work we're doing here...


"Hello Carlos,


I know life is treating you good and I just wanted to say that you are doing an amazing job Keep It! And thank you for saving a young man (age 21) from turning into a socially inept, Below AFC, woman hater to becoming a happy, people (and women) loving and understanding, peaceful, and secure man who's reaching Alpha Manhood. I admit there are only a few Attraction and Seduction Masters who teach men how to be who we really are not what the media and society is preaching on how MEN are supposed and should be the castrated submissive Nice Sensitive Guy (NSG). You teach men to be who we really are in the animal kingdom and the profound truth of Masculinity and why it's a good and beautiful thing, especially in the Feminized Western Worlds. "

I like that term. NSG.

I'm stealing that. :)

And I got this one from a guy yesterday... I'll be answering his question in the next newsletter... watch for it!

"hi,

first off thanks so much for your ebooks, the difference it's made to my
dating and more importantly (never thought i'd be saying this!) my personal
life and work life has been gobsmacking. i've been dating many women and
having great success with cocky/funny etc, but was clear from the beginning
that i was ultimately looking for a long-term relationship WHEN (and only
when) i met the RIGHT girl."

And that's what it's all about. You don't have to settle for the first one that comes along. THAT is what the power to attract women gives you.

The power of CHOICE.

Yeah, buddy. Amen.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Here's a little news tidbit from CNN.com discussing female orgasms. Thought you might like to see this:

Report: Female orgasm in genes

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- Women who have difficulty reaching orgasm can blame it on their genes.

Like heart disease, anxiety and depression, scientists discovered in a study of 1,397 pairs of female twins that there is a genetic basis to female orgasm.

"We found that between 34 percent and 45 percent of the variation in ability to orgasm can be explained by underlying genetic variation," said Tim Spector, of the Twin Research Unit at St Thomas' Hospital in London.

"There is a biological underlying influence that can't be attributed purely to upbringing, religion or race."

Other studies have attributed differences in the ability to achieve orgasm to cultural, religious and psychological factors.

Between 12 to 15 percent of women don't have orgasms compared to about 2 percent of men. Males are also quicker at 2.5 minutes, while the average time it takes for a woman to reach orgasm is 12 minutes, according to Spector.

"Why is there this biological difference between the sexes? The fact that some of this is heritable suggests that evolution has a role," he told a news conference.

Spector suggested reaching an orgasm could be a way for women to assess whether a man would make a good long-term partner. It may also increase fertility, according to some theories.

In a study of identical and non-identical twins published on Wednesday in the journal Biology Letters, Spector and his team found huge variations when they surveyed them about sexual problems.

One in three women, or 32 percent, said they never or infrequently had an orgasm. But 14 percent said they always had an orgasm during intercourse.

"More women were able to orgasm during masturbation, with 34 percent always reaching orgasm," the researchers said in the journal.

The frequency of orgasm was higher for identical twins with a partner and by themselves which suggests a clear genetic impact, said Spector.

"There is something biological that explains some of this large variation between women," he said, adding that many genes could be involved.

If scientists could discover which genes and how they function, it could potentially pave the way for future therapies to treat women who cannot reach orgasm.

But Spector said orgasm is a very complex process which is poorly understood. Little research has been done because it is still a taboo subject.

Anatomical and biological features and psychological factors may all play a part.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, June 06, 2005

PODCAST IS HERE



We're now producing a weekly podcast here that you can download for free. If you're not getting our podcast, you're not getting the latest and greatest dating advice and seduction tips.

The location of the Seduction Times regular podcast has changed.

What's a podcast?

Well, my friends, it's a regular "radio show" MP3 file you can get each week. Now, it's a limited availability, so you have to keep an eye on the site for when I post these. You can put this in your newsfeeder (use something like FeedDemon, or start browsing with Firefox. If you haven't started using Firefox instead of Internet Explorer, you NEED to start now!)


It's now available here:

Podcast URL:
http://www.alphaseduction.com/podcast/podcast.htm

And if you want to add it to your newsfeed, use this feed address:

Podcast feed:
http://www.alphaseduction.com/podcast/atom.xml

So change your links and bookmarks.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

NEWSLETTER



Hey, before we get to our question and newsletter, I have a shameless plug for something I think you'll want to know about: The second half of the Diane Interview is available NOW.

June's Session 21 includes: Over 100 minutes of audio coaching this month, including the completion of a special interview with Diane, giving you the inside scoop on women's drives and desires...

- INTERVIEW WITH DIANE - SECOND HALF - Why women stay with a certain kind of guy, What a woman wants to feel - and what she doesn't want from you, Is money important?, When to call her, How to know if you're going all the way, Good date versus Bad date, Handling the first move, IOIs, How she will behave when there's no interest, People watching - write their story, Women's body language

- MORE UNDERSTANDING - Why girls are "easy", Handling compliments, A must-have conversation technique that will keep her talking, Women comparing, The key shift you must make in your thinking, Trust and eye contact, How women test men, Bitter women, Artificial vs. Circumstance, and what no woman wants to have to do

- AND EVEN MORE - Men and women in the media, Why you need some caveman, socialization of men and women, women and their siblings, How women view physical attractiveness and what affects it, and the one way to turn a woman friend into a lover (if it's going to happen, this will probably be the way...)

- ROMANCE - What romance is to a woman, how to turn anything into a romantic setting, Learning by looking, Pull yourself out of your own frame of reference, The power of Story Creation to her, Selling her "circle", What you must do to get with her, and a wrap-up discussion of the interview.

- ROCK AND ROLL ATTITUDE - How to use the power of the rock stars, A discussion of the rock and roll way of life, and how you can use it to impact your environment and attitude, symbolism, what it demonstrates to her, the use of the Attitude for Power, simulating fame...

Take a look here: www.datingdynamics.com/audioprog.htm

************************
QUESTION:

Approaching woman in a gym

A gym, to me, is a place highly charged with sexual energy. Everybody is busy with their own bodies while checking out everybody else. Do woman feel self-conscious when in a gym and do they think that all the men are testosterone plugged perverts?

Seeing as one gets to see so much of a woman's body in the gym, how could one approach the hot ladies without making them feel bad or be at a disadvantage having them think that you are some pervert?

I am well built and on good speaking terms with the aerobics class instructor (always singling me out), so it's not as if I'm NOT getting noticed, but whenever I walk by most girls (some of them regular attendees) they refuse to just look me in the eye to allow me the opportunity to greet them. I try to act as confident as possible, but is there a point when it becomes "too much" and they think you are just full of yourself?

J
South Africa
-----------------
CARLOS CHUCKLES:

Testosterone Plugged Perverts.

T.P.P.

That's a new term by me.

Here's a little of what's going on ...

Yes, there is a lot of body self-consciousness at the gym. A lot of women are sensitive to the exposure. They're in outfits that pretty much tell you at a glance whether they're in good shape or not. That leaves them feeling very "exposed."

Women, on the whole, feel on display most of the time. (We discuss this in the Audio Coaching interview with Diane ...)

They're being looked at by the men, as sexual objects, and by other women as competition.

It's not easy being a chick sometimes.

Not to mention the fact that the hot women in a gym are always being stared at and picked up on. A lot of the women are actually there for the exercise FIRST. While they're not ruling out meeting someone, they do want to get what they came there for - the workout.

Oh, and let's not forget that women HATE being seen when they are sweating.

(Another reason to lean back on the teasing and cocky comments about them. They're also more vulnerable in this environment.)

So they're a little more sensitive to male attention at a gym than they might be at another location.

The answer to your dilemma is to approach women first with a very disarming and non-intrusive introduction.

Here are a couple:

1) Leave your towel or bottle of water behind at a station, or next to her stuff in the aerobics class. When a hot babe goes to use the station, you say hello and pardon yourself in to get water. And then move on so that it comes across as matter-of-fact. Then, later, you can approach her again and see how responsive she is.

2) Point something out about her that's wrong, like her shoe is untied, or her ask her if she's going to be long on that machine. Maybe even mention, "Hey, watch out for that seat. I think the pin is a little loose." Or just ask her for advice on the machine. "Hey, is that machine safe if you've had a knee injury?" Don't smile at her when asking these questions. That seems too "pick-up."

Keep the conversation starting with the context you're in - the gym and exercise.

3) Use some cockiness with a little humor to bust her chops a little. (But as I said, only a LITTLE. And definitely nothing about her appearance.)

Once you've established an initial contact that doesn't come across as if you're a T.P.P. (or a Perv...), you're more open to try again.

The reality is that most guys in the gym are fairly obvious about their interest in the women there. You have to come in with a slightly less direct approach if you want to get past her "dork radar." That's why I suggest you don't do the "smile and follow" technique that a lot of the other dorks in the gym use.

That's where they smile at a woman and proceed to make sure they're on the next machine over from her for the rest of the day, practically stalking her.

I have a friend who was in the gym and was engaged in discussion with one of the "bouncing pony tails," and some guy got all aggro on him. He asked my friend to set a few more plates on his lift. My friend took it in good humor, but made it clear that he wasn't going to be his "weight-bitch."

Some guys just don't know how to express their needs very well. The poor chap walked off in a huff, probably hoping that he could swoop in and pickup on that girl by being aggressive. (And I'm sure he was a little juiced, too.)

You guys know that this kind of "jerk" behavior never works out.

The best approach you can use in the gym is really to hang back and spot a woman you might be interested in and catch her on the way out of the door, or even on the way in. Start a casual conversation BEFORE or AFTER you get into the gym environment. And then tell her so: "Hey, I wanted to respect your workout time in there. If you have a second, I just wanted to say hello. Have you been a member here long?"

Women LOVE hearing that "R" word - R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Just don't sing it like that.

You can also work your aerobics class for more women, but in a different way. (And please tell me you're not in leg-warmers, stepping to "Footloose.")

First, your instructor is giving you social proof, so that's great. Keep up that friendship because it will allow you to join in on discussions with other ladies later on.

Second, you're probably better off just starting with some very light interactions with the ladies. Just say "Hello" to them over the course of a couple classes. You can even take the edge off by waiting for a while, since you know most will be back ... eventually.

I just have to warn you to watch out for giving off the "player" vibe at the gym. You have to avoid staring at their perky little boobs and butts. Sometimes those outfits make it difficult, but you have to know when to exercise your self-control, too.

On the other hand, remember that women always have the choice of wearing:

A) Something tight that reveals their form and bodies

and

B) Something very loose and frumpy that keeps you from figuring out just how much they need this workout.

If she's wearing A, she did it ON PURPOSE.

If she's wearing B, she's also wearing it ON PURPOSE.

Think about that for a second or two and you'll understand why you don't have to be so self-conscious for her. Nobody put a gun to her head and forced her to wear those tight leotards.

What you really need to do, instead of recognizing her own insecurities, is to be broadcasting your superior value to her. You do this through acting confident and secure, and just moving things forward.

Stay out of her head.

And as I stated above, keep the smiling down to a minimum. If overdone, smiling just gives off an approval seeking vibe. Don't be too serious, but be sure your body language and aura is confident and persuasive.

Don't ACT confident.

That's where most guys fall flat on their face. Acting is TRYING.

You must BE confident.

There's a BIG difference here, and it's one I can show you.

There are many environments you have to be prepared for in the dating world. Some are more agreeable to meeting women, and others you just have to know how to give off a more confident attitude.

The reality is that there are a few definite skills that you need to develop to win over the hot women you see every day. Not a ton of tricks, or magic hypnosis phrases, just a few core skills that are EASILY learned.

I cover this and many other topics in my e-books and audio. If you'd like to learn more about how the REAL players get the women, you can download the information right away.

If you want to get that kind of understanding and control over your love life, you need to read my e-book. And you can get the benefits of my best e-books, RISK FREE for the next 90 days.

Get my books, the audio, read them and hear me explain the strategies, and then put it to work for you right away.

I wrote them in a simple, easy-to-use format that ANYONE can learn. Nothing is complicated, and there's no dumb hypnosis routines to learn. Just the stuff that will help YOU get more success with women.

THE DATING BLACK BOOK - This e-book set covers the dating scene, from meeting women, to your best attitude, to strategies, to how to touch women, to driving up their attraction, to dumping them when you need to move on. Looking for a woman? This book shows you the BIG picture.

Put this link in your browser to download it: www.datingdynamics.com

SECRETS OF THE ALPHA MAN - This e-book and CD coaching covers your inner game, from meeting women, to cultivating complete confidence, to life and success strategies, to understanding what the winners and Alpha Men in life have that you can have, too. Looking for a better lifestyle and inner confidence, as well as more women? This book shows you a map to a more successful LIFE.

Put this link in your browser to see all the great stuff in this set: www.alphaseduction.com

ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING - And if you're like most guys that love to hear advice and audible examples of things to learn by, and you want new and fresh tips every single month, The ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING is something for you to get.

Each month we go into loads of detail about every aspect of dating and seduction. From what to say to what to wear, to what to cook, to what to do when it's time to close the deal. Every session is over 100 minutes of top-quality digital audio that you can download and listen to right away. No waiting for a CD to ship!

You can even get the complete first year (over 21 hours of audio) in a special deal at the site...

Put this link in your browser to check it out: www.datingdynamics.com

I'm in this to help you, educating men to do better in their lives in the one thing that has eluded us for thousands of years - SUCCESS WITH WOMEN.

Is there ANYTHING more important?

Remember life is too short, and death is too long.

Don't wait until your heart is broken before you take steps to learn how this game is played.

Get the information on how to improve your dating life TODAY. Make the changes you need to make to get the love, bedroom action, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.


I'll be back with more advice soon ...

This is the year for you to get successful with women!

- Carlos

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, June 05, 2005

How confident guys attract women...


I asked my "buddy" (Who will be known as "C" here) if she'd explain more about this guy at her work that the ladies enjoy. You'll be happy to know that it's not because he's a hottie... Read what she has to say about Bret:

"Bret is a man who oozes confidence. I am not talking about that horrific, cocky, obscene strutting that some insecure men delude themselves into thinking is impressive. What I am speaking of, is a man whose character is clearly defined, in an unassuming, resolute manner.

Ya know the thing that’s so refreshing about Bret is that he is the consummate gentleman. I love that he rushes ahead of me to open a door, or offers to give me his seat in a crowded meeting. Chivalry my friend, is alive and well!


I ran into Bret today at the office and he came over to say hello. He looked me up and down and smiled. He often compliments me on how I look and today was no different.

Two things I notice when we chat, he is always attentive and he often stands fairly close to me. I wonder if he has used his ‘charm’ to compensate for his physical statue. He is a rather large man.


I would much rather be in his company than the tall, dark, handsome, arrogant, self absorbed jerk I had to deal with this week. I actually had to tell this guy that I would not conduct a multi-million dollar transaction with him because he was an arrogant jerk. What a waste!"

See? Women will actually avoid a guy who's good looking when he's got the wrong attitude... This, my friends, is where all of us players are going to take over the world.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, June 04, 2005

New articles

Hey, guys, I've got a batch of new dating advice articles up at the site. I just added a couple from Swingcat.

It's a fine weekend here in the Bay Area. I'm sitting on the porch, inhaling the fresh scent of jasmine as I update the sites.

Now THIS is the life...

I'll be back more with some information I caught from Thundercat's Blog about a group of seduction coaches who have been sued for not delivering. Most uncool...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, June 03, 2005

I was just reading (no laughs!) Oprah yesterday, amazed by the anti-male tone of their articles. Almost all of them portray men as some kind of animal or pet that women have to "put up with" instead of relate to.

My friend commented that maybe that's how women have to think about us to deal with us. I can see where this tone of writing might be attractive to women who have to feel like they have a condescending kind of power over us, but overall it's offensive to see in just about every form of media today.

I did find a few nuggets of insight in an article called "The Male Brain: See how it runs."

This discusses the scientific fact that:

A) Men are better at spacial reasoning and more visually stimulated

B) Women have a better verbal proficiency than men

C) Women and men process emotions differently (No kidding...)

D) Women respond to emotional attraction more by recalling memories for validation (meaning that they like to process the meaning of things for interpretation)

Now, I looked at this and chuckled because they quoted over 4 doctors to get this information, and I'm pretty sure any one of us could have come up with the same observations. But it's nice to have them backed by scientific studies...

One interesting thing: Women were noted to be able to interpret emotional meaning from words WITHOUT having to process them. In other words, the skill of understanding what's going on with a person was much more integrated into their thinking.

Which accounts for their ability to read a man pretty quickly if he's confident or not...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, June 02, 2005

ALPHA ISN'T BAD

There are a lot of guys out there sending conflicting information regarding what it is and isn't to be "Alpha."

As in "Alpha Man" or "Alpha Male."

Let's start right off by saying that "Alpha" behavior is NOT bad.

It is NOT what you see animals doing in their nasty time in the zoo.

It's NOT attacking a tribe and killing all the young, or any weird stuff like that.

Look, "Alpha" just means the dominant male (and sometimes the female) in a group.

It's the one that is most likely to procreate and get its genes into the next round of the "Keep the species alive" game.

So it really does make sense to get successful with women if you think about it like this. If you don't find a woman to mate with and create little teeny versions of you, then it all ends with you.

Do you deserve to have your genetic legacy carried on into the next generation? I hope so. And more importantly, I hope you believe so.

So don't listen to a lot of this garbage and double speak out there regarding "Alpha Men" and what they should or should not be.

Here are a few things an Alpha IS:

- Clever/smart/cunning
- Ambitious
- Excited
- Honorable
- Dominant (not aggressive, but demonstrating superior social skills)
- Stable
- Fit (healthy lifestyle)
- Curious
- Balanced
- Natural

Now those are the things that make up a good lifestyle. In my e-book set "Secrets of the Alpha Man" I cover these, as well as the real-life exercises required to succeed in life.

Here are a few things an Alpha is NOT:

- Aggressive
- Angry at women
- Verbally abusive
- Arrogant
- Obnoxious

There seems to be some confusion (and most of it is created by other guys hoping to cash in on your confusion) about what it means to be a STRONG and persuasive man in today's society.

I'm not even going to throw you more of that evolutionary stuff because it really doesn't matter. When you think about it, it just makes sense that we want people who appear or demonstrate more social value than us. It's because we naturally want to latch on to their power.

Again, it all comes back to power.

So being an "Alpha" doesn't mean you're dragging women back to a cave.

Or that you're being an aggressive, pushy jerk.

Or that you're being forceful and mean.

Or that you're inconsiderate.

Or that you're acting like a brutish animal.

It means that you understand the basic primal reasons a woman is attracted to a man, and you're not afraid to BE a man.

Not a cardboard, one-dimensional wimp that's afraid to let women know he desires them.

You see, there are only two motivating forces in life:

Desire

and

Fear.

That's it. We are motivated purely by what we feel we WANT, and what we feel we most want to avoid.

Fear is a stronger motivator for humans because it helped us survive potentially life-threatening situations. You're smart to fear wild animals, or large trains heading toward you. You can't afford the luxury of analysis in these situations. A delay could cost you your life.

On the other hand, in our modern society, there isn't much you need to fear. In fact, we fear too much already.

And the fear that is most crippling is the fear of LOSS.

Everyone's favorite short green dude, Yoda, even said it in the latest Star Wars flick...

"Fear of loss leads to the dark side."

And so it does. It leads you down a path where you never gain because you're too afraid of losing what you have.

An Alpha Man understands that the only way to live is to wake up each day and understand that everything you have was just given back to you today. And when he goes to sleep at night, he gives it all back.

Lose this attraction to your possessions before they possess you...

Whoah, I'm getting very philosophical here.

What I'm trying to get across to you here is that you should avoid becoming attached, even to TERMINOLOGY.

When someone tells you that being an Alpha is bad, or it's this and that, remember that they're trying to color your perception. They're trying to steer you away from a path of understanding and enlightenment.

Trust your own intelligence to figure out what an Alpha Man REALLY is.

He's already inside of you. It just takes a little work to let this instinct out so that you can become the COMPLETE you.

There are a lot of guys out there who haven't been able to open themselves up to letting out this TRUE nature inside them. They hide it behind "Politically Correct" BS about not hurting other people's feelings, or being sensitive.

It's really a fear to let other people see the REAL you. The man that wants to achieve.

The man that wants women in his life.

The man that wants monetary success.

The man that wants power over the forces of life that seem to control him.

Forget about all this "Alpha" talk and just open your mind up to finding this part of you that isn't held back by fear, and is ready to reach out for understanding that could - and will - change your life for the better.

So on one hand we have the lowly AFC, or non-Alpha. He's
a little insecure, possibly low self-esteem, but WANTS
to grow and change.

On the other hand we have the Alpha, the confident and
assertive man with healthy communication and
self-esteem.

There is only one direction of growth here, and it's
from the AFC to the Alpha.

What is the Alpha?

He's a MODEL.

He's the prodigal "seducer," if you will. The Model is
an example that we can use to illustrate the best case
scenario. The Ideal. (Kind of like how Michaelangelo's
statue of David exemplifies the perfection of the
human form.)

You see, the AFC can't make a quantum leap and BECOME
the Alpha all at once. It's not that simple. He needs
an idea of what this goal is that he's pursuing that
gives him the result of "I'M SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN."
The Alpha Model provides him with a framework - a
picture to draw in his mind of the attitude he's
after.

How does the AFC become the Alpha then?

By creating a PATH.

We, gentlemen, provide that Path of development - the
inspiration, tactics, and practical field examples
that this AFC can then use to pin on his mental
framework of the Alpha Man. The Model becomes clearer
in his mind the more he uses the tactics and
strategies and gains understanding through their
application.

Now, when he uses these techniques, he only needs to
understand that by using them he is merely brushing in
more of the mental picture of how he can achieve this
state of Alpha Man.

Without tactics and strategies to use, he becomes the
Wanderer, likely to fall into the pit of self-pity. He
begins the path to the Dark Side ---> He starts to
fall back on the path of passive easygoing Nice Guy.
This false path is logical, after all, and nothing
appeals more to a man's mind than logic. And so begins
his downward spiral.

Think of it like this: Here's a guy that's going to
school to be a carpenter. A teacher can teach him all
the skills he needs to measure, cut wood, sand it
right, plane it, read the grain, chisel and sculpt it,
stain it, and so on. After several long years of study
he will leave school with the basics, the principles,
but he will not have made them his OWN until he
practices woodwork for a while. He'll have to spend
many years figuring out the Art after he's learned the
Science. Once he makes good woodwork, he'll then get
the confidence to try and do more unique things. It
builds into what I call the Upward Spiral.

But without that schooling, that learning of the
science, he will be lucky to get anything more than a
hit-and-miss success rate. With much more miss than
hit.

So our arguments over whether "direct" with one's
personality or not are pretty moot. Most guys are
going to do whatever they're going to do, and a lot of
the time with little understanding, morals, or smarts.
This is the guy that only presents this seduction
material with the dry hope of scoring from a "system"
or a "plan." I can't control that from happening. He's
always out there lurking on the fringe. I hope that
he'll wise up someday.

I'm only here for the intelligent guy who knows that
his ego very often short-circuits his success, and it
is only through self-development that we can get rid
of the insecurity so that he can combine the Science
with the Art. I teach the Path. The Path leads from
the AFC from his state of despair and ignorance to the
Alpha Man.

And the Art of Seduction is really nothing more than
building the confidence and self-esteem to reveal his
true personality, while understanding what REALLY does
work to stimulate female attraction.

So how does the AFC build this confidence?

By trying these techniques in the real world and
seeing what works.

It may sound like circular reasoning, but it's true.
You can't learn confidence. You only gain it from
shedding your insecure thinking - and that comes from
taking action ... and you only take action when you've
got enough confidence to take that risk of action once
again.

The way to hop on this upward spiral is to have some
Science to apply.

And then he gets to feel the reward of success deep
down in his nervous system. This feeling is the
fertilizer that grows his continued sense of
confidence.

So the moral of this story, brothers, is that we
provide the moving conveyer of information that feeds
his upward spiral.

Only through repetition and practice - and courage to
persist.

This is the Art of being the Alpha Man.

- Carlos Xuma

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Straight from the Woman

So I was talking with a gal "friend" of mine lately, and I found out a short story about a guy who came to her office selling knives. What she said about his approach was very accurate and I wanted to share it with you guys so you understand just how important your masculine attitude is.

Don't hide your interest in a woman. There are times to pull back and disqualify her, but this is the kind of thing I'm talking about. She said:

"I was impressed by his poise, confidence and rather steamy unapologetic masculinity."

WOW! That says it right there.

Steamy, unapologetic masculinity. I think the most important word is the "unapologetic."

Too many guys are running around out there ashamed of their desires and needs.

Now, here's her description of how this guy handled checking out her body:

"He followed me upstairs to my office, as we climbed the stairs I felt his eyes on my derriere, I swung around to catch him in the act and he didn't flinch!

"I waited at the top of the stairs to see if he would have that "caught in the act look," but he looked me straight in the eyes- with a sort of knowing nod. I made a mental note- glad I was wearing tight jeans. Wow, I thought, this is going to be an interesting presentation...

"Chris pulled his chair fairly close to mine, so close our knees almost
touched. There wasn't any room on my desk for his presentation so he politely asked if he could move my boxes. Before I said yes, he quickly cleared half my desk! His finesse and timing was impeccable, I was a little stunned by that move, and half expected to be swept up along with my boxes. OK. He now had my full attention. His demonstration was brilliant. He kept eye contact with me throughout the entire presentation..."

Now this guy knows he's obviously got it going on, and isn't ashamed to let a woman know it.

There's a lot to be learned from his attitude.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

ONLINE DATING FROM HELL

So I was looking around this morning online and I found this guy's personal ad. I've removed any incriminating evidence, but it serves to show you how NOT to create a personal ad. Take a look at this:

Mr. Nice Guy
Hello there. I am looking for someone who has been through some stuff and has learned to appreciate life through experience. I am available for a number of things. Friendship is great. I do look forward to having a partner in my life. Not into drama or games AT ALL. I am very active. I love the outdoors, working out, yoga and nature. Kids are great too. Bye for now.

I'm a XX year old white man from xxxx. I consider my appearance to be very good looking. I am 5'10" tall with a cut build. I have brown hair, sky blue eyes and a fair complexion.

Essays

My ideal match:
mY IDEAL MATCH IS SOMEONE WHO HAS ENOUGH IN COMMON SO WE FEEL LIKE WE ARE SPEAKING A LANGUAGE WE CAN BOTH UNDERSTAND. lAUGHTER IS A BIG PLUS. aTTRACTION IS DEFINATELY IMPORTANT(ON SEVERAL LEVELS.

The ideal setting for a first date:
i WOULD LIKE TO GO FOR A HIKE IF THAT FEELS GOOD TO BOTH OF US OR MAYBE GO FOR A CUP OF TEA OR COFFEE. i THINK LOADING IT WITH ROMANCE OR EXPECTATIONS IS TOO MUCH ON THE FIRST DATE. i WOULD LIKE TO BE COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO REALLY SHARE SOME PIECES OF WHO WE ARE.

Work:
mY WORK IS GOOD ENOUGH. i HAVE A VERY FRUITFUL BUSINESS. HOWEVER, I AM TRAINING IN SOME OTHER FIELDS THAT ARE CLOSER TO WHAT I WANT TO DO IN MY LIFE. I AM INTERESTED IN BODY,MIND SPIRIT WORK. NOT JUST NEW AGE HEALING. ASK IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS.

What I like to do when I'm not at work:
i EXERCISE. I AM TRAINING TO BE A YOGA TEACHER. I LOVE THE OUTDOORS AND IT'S MANY VARIATIONS. I AM A DAD. I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BOY. I HAVE BEEN A SINGLE DAD FOR A LONG TIME.

Where I see myself two to five years from now:
I PLAN TO BE DOING WORK THAT MAKES ME SMILE MORE DAYS THAN NOT. I HOPE THAT I HAVE A PARTNER IN MY LIFE. FAMILY IS IMPORTANT TO ME. CONTINUING TO SLOW DOWN IS IMPORTANT TO ME.

If I could change one thing about myself:
PAY BILLS BEFORE THEY ARE IN PILES.

Final thoughts:
i DO NOT HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO PUT MY PICTURE ON HERE (I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD ANYWAY} SO IF YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT I LOOK LIKE LET ME KNOW.
-------------
CARLOS:

Now, in case you haven't noticed, this ad screams "nice sensitive guy" from a mile away. In no way does he involve the reader in the passion of his life, or the excitement. I don't care if he likes Yoga or Monster Trucks. He's got to really stop saying "I" this and "I" that, and address what SHE is interested in.

This is the cardinal sin in 90% of all guy's personal ads online. They look like a third grade essay.

And, if you didn't know it, wouldn't you have guessed this to be a WOMAN's profile? Well, it's not. It's a man's.

So learn from this and start injecting some fierce emotional excitement in your personals.

Hell, start injecting it in your LIFE. And every time you meet a woman. THAT is what will move her. Not a lame profile.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men