CALIBRATION COACHING:

I was just thinking the other day about how my friend Greg attracts
women all the time, and I was mentally comparing what his approach
was from mine in terms of why we're successful. We're both good at chatting up
women just about anywhere, and we are both fairly successful at
getting more than our fair share of ... well, let's call it female
attention. We talked about this for a while, and then it hit us
both like a bolt of lightning...

Even though he and I were different in appearance, different in
style, different in dress, etc., one thing was actually the same.
We both understood some principles of attracting beautiful women that involve
"calibration." Flexibility for the situation.

So I got home and started recording some topics having to do with
this area that I think will help you guys understand how to adjust
your approach to various situations.

Oh, and I got a lot of questions about certain activities you can
do to really increase your comfort level with women. So I decided
I'd reveal an exercise I once used to get myself over my fear of
women. It's called the "Poll" and any guy can use it. It really
rocks. You can use it for cold approaching women on the street, or even in
a bar or club.

Not to mention I am also covering how the concept of social proof
works with women (and people in general) and how you use it to
demonstrate your own superior social value (SSV) with women. SSV is
something I'm going to cover more in the next couple months, too.
(I even threw in a ton of examples of how to use negative hits
effectively.)

So, rather than get long-winded here, I'm just going to tell you
that Session 22 is HERE, and you guys are going to LOVE it. I am
going in-depth in these concepts and many more.

Get it here:
http://www.datingdynamics.com/audioprog.htm


Take a quick look at the great stuff we're covering in a few of the
tracks in July's Session-

Session 22 includes:

- CALIBRATION - How to adjust your approach for the various levels
of women (classic "10" scale), what's happening when she won't call
back, how to compliment, and WHO to compliment, the GPP complex, as
well as what to expect from women at various levels of
attrativeness...

- THE 2 LEVELS OF ATTRACTION - Emotional vs. Sexual, how much
chemistry you must have versus trust, what happens when you over
involve her emotionally, why a woman slams on the brakes, how
negative hits work, and how you can use them effectively, with 8
examples of application

- EXERCISE - The Poll - How to double and triple the number of
women you meet with your own research, removing expectation, why
it's critical to memorize introductions and phrases, getting
yourself empowered, Ten Example questions for your poll, how to
score yourself, the most important way to express your interest in
her, and tips on how to NEVER approach women on the street (chances
are you're making these mistakes)...

- INFLUENCE - SOCIAL PROOF - How social proof works, the need for
validation, examples of sociological motivations of people, how a
woman is motivated by social proof, Public compliance vs. private
acceptance, when social proof works the most ...

- SELF-DISCIPLINE - What it is and how to develop it through
action, application with your own goals, working your phone list,
examples of goals, the one critical ingredient to your motivation -
and why you will fail without it ...

- AFTER THE SEX - How to choose your path after you've achieved
your goals, qualitative vs. quantitative criteria, how to setup
expectations, why relationships develop you faster, why men lose
their game in long-term relationships, the two decisions you must
make for each woman you date, and the reason guys don't want to
date more than one woman even when they know they should...


Just in time for your holiday weekend, you can see the COMPLETE
table of contents, and download the July session here:

http://www.datingdynamics.com/audioprog.htm

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

PODCAST INFO:

It's come to my attention that some of you guys are having problems adding the podcast to your newsreaders, like Mozilla, or whatever.

Keep in mind that the podcast is an RSS feed. Your Mozilla may not handle it the same way. Also, remember that podcasts are meant to be picked up by a podcast application, like iTunes or iPodder. These programs will actually watch for new programs and download them for you when they are ready. You should try one of them, because that functionality is very cool.

Anyway, if you want to add our podcast as just another newsfeed, simply use this link:
http://www.alphaseduction.com/podcast/podcast-fb.htm

PODCAST INFO:

It's come to my attention that some of you guys are having problems adding the podcast to your newsreaders, like Mozilla, or whatever.

Keep in mind that the podcast is an RSS feed. Your Mozilla may not handle it the same way. Also, remember that podcasts are meant to be picked up by a podcast application, like iTunes or iPodder. These programs will actually watch for new programs and download them for you when they are ready. You should try one of them, because that functionality is very cool.

Anyway, if you want to add our podcast as just another newsfeed, simply use this link:
http://www.alphaseduction.com/podcast/podcast-fb.htm



Here's the link to use if you want to add a podcast to your podcast application, like iTunes or iPodder:
feed://feeds.feedburner.com/SeductionTimesPodcast

I'll add these to the web page, too.

Thanks to the guys who brought this to my attention.

Here's the link to use if you want to add a podcast to your podcast application, like iTunes or iPodder:
feed://feeds.feedburner.com/SeductionTimesPodcast

I'll add these to the web page, too.

Thanks to the guys who brought this to my attention.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

Well, I have been having a problem as of late. I have been working on my body language and voice tone for the past 4 months and I try to walk confidently, use slow movements and gestures, breath slowly, and blink slower than usual. I also try to speak deeply and confidently.

The problem is I do this every time i go out and even when I am with my friends and as of late I have been feeling very self conscious. Its almost as if I feel that I am obsessing a little over this stuff. I feel that people are staring at me all the time and stuff like that. What do I do to get rid of this Carlos?

Thanks Carlos I appreciate you and your work a ton.

*******
CARLOS:

Well, from what you're telling me, it does sound as if you're a bit over-focused and obsessing. I covered this in a previous audio session on "hyper-attentiveness."

You can get a bit too watchful of your own behaviors, and then start that weird paranoia going that tells you you're always doing something wrong.

When you discover the information that you've gotten in my e-books and audio, you realize that there is a LOT of stuff going on that you weren't aware of. But that doesn't mean that you have to try and do it all right.

You need to relax when you date women.

This is the most important thing I can possibly tell you.

Relax.

Everything good with women comes from a place of relaxation and calmness. You can't attract women with angst and nervousness. Unless she's more nervous and excitable than you are.

First, stop holding yourself accountable to be PERFECT. It can't be done. So let that need go.

The next is to then work out with yourself just how much you can improve each time. Focus on just one area you can improve with each encounter, and stay relaxed. Your self-confidence will rise more and more.

For example, make your next meeting with a woman focused solely on getting her vibe. Find out where she is coming from and just let the chips fall where they may. So what if it's not perfect. You'll get another shot in most cases.

Or just focus on making her laugh.

Or try reading body language from her.

Get comfortable with that one skill and then work on another. If you scatter your attention to the winds, you'll never improve in any of them, and you'll never get to be an Alpha Male.

So get your mind set on one goal at a time, and go after it with dogged perseverance.

But do relax a bit. The game of attracting women and seducing women needs to have a lot of relaxation and humor thrown in. That's what a woman wants, too, by the way.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN - Podcast

There's a new podcast up ... go check it out ...

CLICK HERE for the podcast feed site:
WHAT WOMEN WANT - DATING ADVICE

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

Just got your newsletter on being too good looking. You say if you're that
handsome not to joke so much about it. Well, what if you're the average Joe?
Is it cool to talk yourself up in a joking way with girls by telling them
about you amazing good looks even though you know it isn't true? I mean,
isn't that what makes it funny?

:::::::
CARLOS:

Look, dating women is one thing. Learning how to ATTRACT WOMEN is another.

If you're an average looking guy, your best bet is to do just what you said. (I cover this in the Dating Black Book e-book.)

Joke about your "devastating" good looks with a woman. You have to do it in a way that is:

A) Not self-deprecating, meaning that it doesn't look like you're putting yourself down. Alpha Males never insult themselves.

B) Make it clear that you don't take yourself that seriously.

One way you can accomplish both of these as a pickup line would be this:

"Hey, I know you're looking to replace Katie Holmes as Tom Cruise's fiancee, but I'm much better looking. And more talented. Did I mention that I kiss better, too? Uh, not that I've kissed Tom or anything."

Jump on the chance to joke about your looks. Average guys actually have a BETTER chance attracting women -especially hot women - because you can sneak under her radar.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

Hey, I have a question for you.

I just went though this messy breakup with my girlfriend two days ago
over a stupid argument. We still talk sometimes but she is usually
distant in the conversations. Im intrested in getting her back but I
don't know how to go about this. In the past, chasing the ex girlfreind
and acting depressed out of a breakup always ended in failure. So there
is no way in hell im going to do that again and screw this up.

The thing is... im not really sure on how to go about this. So far, i've been
trying to be upbeat and aloof around her and people she knows. Do you
have any rules or guidlines to go about getting back together with an
ex?

Right now my situation is pretty tricky as I don't have a place I
normaly see her so the only ways I can talk to her is by the phone or
messenger on the computer. I haven't messaged her recently because I
wanted to get her some space.

Any advice would be appreciated greatly
******
CARLOS:

Upbeat and aloof. What a combination, huh?

You're doing a lot of things right. You understand that the whole depressed or chasing her thing doesn't work. And you're giving her space. That takes discipline. Good job..!

Look, there are a thousand reasons not to go back to the well once you've peed in it.

That is, after you've broken up with a girl.

1) Messy breakup, huh? Let me guess, she dumped you? You don't say, so that's what I'm assuming. Usually guys say it if they were the dumper. So now you want to get your girlfriend back.

If you are the dumpee, she now will mentally do her best to justify it. She'll cut off all mental ties.

2) You've lost posture if it went this far. Breakups should not be threatened or taken lightly. What you must work on is establishing the understanding DURING the relationship that while you COULD leave, you're CHOOSING to STAY. She should feel lucky to have you.

And vice-versa, really. That's what keeps people together is excitement and knowing what you got before it's gone.

3) Guys most often make a fool out of themselves in the process of trying to win someone back. You end up putting out 1000 times more energy to get a second chance than it would take to just go and find a new woman.

4) You're not really telling me what you plan to do to make sure this won't happen again, or why it won't. Which means it probably will.

5)...

Aw hell, let's be real here.

Your only real choice here is to make a good play to get her back. None of that flowers and chocolate crap, either.

Get her out with you to just "talk." Don't get into a discussion on the phone. Tell her there's something she needs to know before she moves on. Make it almost sound like you've given up on her. That way she won't go in with her defenses up.

Then, meet with her, and start to flirt a little. Use some charm. Use the right body language, and read her body language. Feel out her attitude.

Break down her bitch shield (she'll have a protective cold emotional shell up to keep you out.) This is your challenge.

The rest is using the same stuff I taught you in the e-book, man. It's not hard to drive up her lust, and attract women.

What's hard is finding a reason to keep doing it for the same chick - over and over.

Good luck.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

MORE FROM C- THE ANONYMOUS WOMAN:

I just got this note from "C" - the anonymous woman who has been sending secret transmissions from The Land of Woman... Read on...

I was thinking about that very topic the other day. How some women feel compelled to hold back on sex. It's an interesting discussion- it's one aspect of the seduction dance. I think many women feel if they are pursued, they are more likely to keep their man interested and possessed. Because instinctively, it's about mating and not necessarily an element of sex. A lot of women simply are not interested in sex. They are looking for a spouse that can offer them financial security, a family and keep them in the 'status quo'

I obviously do not fall in that category. Sex to me is not a game of tug and war. That's not to say I don't like to keep some tension going- That I pleasure in hedonistic delights, should not be confused with naughty or bad. I think there seems to be a major misunderstanding that some men and women have of people who are 'sexual' in nature... That they are some how not viable human beings...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION: LOSING YOUR RELIGION

Dear Carlos,

I understand you were raised from a catholic upbringing. I am 19 yrs old, about to enter college and have been studying social dynamics/ dating for quite sometime now, I have changed my perspectives and beliefts towards the subject of sex. Don't get me wrong, I still believe in God and very much a highly spiritual person.

But I tend to have these weird sexual guilt sometimes, perhaps it's from the years and years of brainwashing and social conditioning I received from my parents and every non believers out there. I also still have friends that tries to make me guilty everytime I talk about sex and comment about a hot chick. They call me a " perve" , " a horny filipino" , a " man whore" and I also have friends that are religious and probably knows I'm not that religious by my laidback attitude towards sex by trying to convert me by telling me to stop my " raw desires" or I will burn in the fires of hell.

Plus, it's also my family, my parents keep preaching to me about Pre-marital sex and plus my sister is always trying to hook me up w/ these nerdy girls...lol.

Now my question is, I really want to get my innergame together and stop feeling all these guilt that I would sometimes feel when it comes to chicks, what are some good ways to do that? How can I change my social environment and be cool about it w/ my catholic community?

::::::::::::
CARLOS:

Yes, I've been a Catholic, as well as a great many other things in my day.

I realize that by bringing this up, I'm risking losing people, but I think the smart guys will know where I'm coming from.

When I cover this topic I am walking on very emotionally charged ground. People are VERY sensitive to their religious and spiritual beliefs, because they really are the foundation of our life. If we have no grounding, we wander aimlessly, wondering whether it's all worth it or not.

The one thing that has served me most is that you need to understand that RELIGION is a man-made thing. It is not NATURAL. We are imposing a man-made order on something that is beyond us to control or understand.

And, unfortunately, most religions over time have made it all about POWER.

Power over the people.

If you control what someone holds as their fundamental principle in life, you control THEM.

That's what we see in many religious doctrines.

That's why I no longer subscribe to any "religion." I am very spiritual, but I just don't believe it's in our ability to even comprehend the nature of God. Or whatever you believe is the spiritual force in the universe.

So I decided that, even though I was very comfortable with the church (and that comfort really mean that I wasn't growing, I was just clinging to outdated beliefs) that I could no longer hang with my home boys of the Cloth. I had to move on and explore.

So I dabbled in other religions. And they promised much, delivering only one thing. (And this is actually a valuable benefit of religion. )

A sense of belonging and community.

But sometimes even that can even be twisted to dark designs. Look at David Koresh, or any of the cult leaders from the past.

The thing I learned to watch out for is when you are told that you will be punished for NOT believing what they tell you to believe and do. That's false and manipulative. I believe that any God that had the power to create is also smart enough to know that I'm still a good person, even if I didn't make it down for the communion wafer this week.

I also watch out for BLACK & WHITE thinking. You know, the kind that says that if you don't believe EVERYTHING this person/book/church/etc. has to say, then you can't be a part of their group. (Funny how this is the way most every religion works.)

Ya dig?

So I won't even pretend to advise anyone on their beliefs, even though mine are pretty obvious. But you can reconcile your understanding like this:

THINK FOR YOURSELF.

The one thing every organization based in power fears most is that the people will think for themselves. They will become intelligent and see through the lies that there is really more to the picture than they were led to believe.

So if your friends tell you to watch out for pre-marital sex, well that's a decision you'll just have to make for yourself. If you decide to follow it, congratulations for standing behind something you believe in.

But get educated FIRST. THEN decide. Not the other way around.

It sounds like you made up your mind that there are things that you don't agree with about your church. That you know there are ways to attract women you want.

Great, now decide what you're going to do with that.

Are you going to live in fear of discovery? That's going to be much more painful to you because you will be running around fearing that you're doing something WRONG. And that you're going to get PUNISHED for it. And that you'll LOSE APPROVAL FROM YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS for it.

And that right there is enough to keep 95% of the people following the religions they were born with.

All of those things, by the way, are based on FEAR.

The other motivator in life is DESIRE. Which, funny enough, is another tool of deception for many. If you can make someone fear their own desires, such as for sexual gratification, then you TOTALLY CONTROL THEM.

Wow, heavy stuff, huh?

I don't like being this heavy, so I'll just say this:

You can't get your game together if you're undermining your own self-confidence by believing you could be WRONG and you might be PUNISHED for it.

So get past that as fast as you can. Make up your mind that you won't be manipulated. Make up your mind that you'll think for yourself, and you'll believe what you believe because you CHOOSE to believe it, not because someone told you you MUST believe it.

And keep your mind OPEN. Never become one of those people that closes off all paths, because then you'll be no better than the people who lock you into their dogma.

Don't live in the middle ground of guilt and uncertainty, because that's really what hell's all about. The hell of other people's opinions and judgments.

And the hell of being in a place where you never live your life to the fullest. Or the hell of worrying that you'll end up at the end of your life having made the wrong choice, and then never making any choices as a result.

In the immortal words from Braveheart: "Every man dies - but not every man truly lives."

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

AWESOME STORY:

Guys, this is a story that EVERYONE should read. Not just because this guy has found a solid path to Alpha through the Secrets of the Alpha Man course, but because of what he talks about with today's world.

Women ARE getting more dominant and aggressive. They're starting to take on the male role, and who could blame them with most guys failing to fill it. Meanwhile, women walk around with this gold-plated-pussy syndrome that just irks the crap out of me. They honestly believe, guys, that they are entitled to special treatment because most guys will gladly hand over their balls just to get a slice of action.

Every letter I get from you guys really affirms that we have to get the Alpha message out there to as many guys as possible. I'm already brainstorming some incredible topics for the audio coaching and the podcasts... Stay tuned...

Read his letter, and tell me if you don't find this story all too typical, unfortunately....

Hi Carlos,

thanks for your letter and free ebook. I found the
information quite insightful and informative.
I found your take on how men are becoming more
feminine and women more masculine right on the money.
there is been a defenite shift in the roles men and
women are playing in todays society. I myself have
noticed whithin the past few years I've taken a more
feminine approach to life. Unfortunately, without all
the advantageous benefits women consistently
experience.

There is a very entertaining movie that
touches on the shift you mentioned called "Roger
Dodger" it's about an almost cynical "alpha male"
tring to teach his younger nephew how to score with
women. There are moments in his dialogue where he
forsees the eventual decline of the male species based
on the current road we're heading.

I've looked around
lately when I go out and have noticed this to be
true.. Women today are so cocky and arrogant almost as
if there sole mission is to tease men. I'm considered
a very good looking man , athletic shape, succesful
quick witted and even women I would never consider
dating act as if I'm not good enough for them. Up
until I read your information I wondered what exactly
happend out there. I couldn't put my finger on it.

About 5 years ago I was seriously involved with an
extremely beautiful, intelligent(physics major) exotic
dancer, she looked like pamela anderson although
curvier in the hips, firmer and a smaller waist plus
she had these unbelevable real dd breasts and big
pouty angelina jolie type lips.. hot women would stare
just as long as men.. a reflection of the true
physical phenomenon.. talk about an ego challenge. I
handled it perfectly for about 3 years, constant roll
on the floor mutual laughter, best friends, an
engagement, intelligent life conversations, extremely
satisfying multiple orgasmic sex-she was a squirter-

but the decline occured when our small arguments
escalated by the way we handled confrontation. she
handled confrontation by avoidance. It chipped away at
me as I found that as she ran I passionately chased
wondering why she was running. I found myself in the
feminine role questioning her feelings and demanding
some emotional availability.. it crept up on me and
before I knew it I was a total wimp. I'm suprised I
didn't have a period. After I awoke from the nightmare
she was history and I had lost everything including my
home and business(bad investments, shift in my
industry)

The experience has left an undeniable scar.
Now as I rebuild myself (I liken it to superman going
back to his arctic fortess to luckily find one last
crystal to rebuild himself with) I find myself not
knowing where I fit in. That is until I've read your
information, Just the other day after reading your
seduction book/offer I went out that night and
attracted 5 women's attention. They we're certainly
aware of me. Lately i've felt like the guy just there,
that night I felt like the MAN out to have a good
time.

I haven't "re"mastered your techniques yet but I will
take my power back thanks to your insight and selfless
guidance.

Thanks Again
M - Newport Beach

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

I've been teasing, doing the dance, and being a little
naughty. I'm also mysterious. I use everything
you've written about. The thing is that I'm a very
good looking guy and my humor may spice things up for
the girl, but it's getting boring for me.

I'm naturally funny, charismatic, and charming. I can't
seem to communicate to a girl without being turned off
by how excited they are and the uninteresting
conversations I have out of feeling bad for their
stupidity that comes out from their self-doubt and
excitement. They start moving real fast and fidgeting
around me, yet they want to keep talking to me and
finding out about me.

I feel like my looks put girls
in awe, because they just stare at me like hawks.
I've been getting secret admirer emails and phone
calls, saying "you seem to be a very nice person and I
wish I could get to know you better." Maybe that'll
give you a good picture. What do I do? Please reply,
as this is probably my most important email. I feel
kind of stuck.

Thanks man,
K
""""""""""""""""
CARLOS:

Huh.

Wow.

So you have women that are attracted to you...
You're gaming them just fine...

And now you're bored...

While every guy out there lights a candle and prays for you, I'm going to tell you that maybe it's time to - RAISE YOUR STANDARDS!

You're obviously working on women that do not challenge you. I've found that this is often a problem for guys that get this stuff down after one of my ebooks or the Alpha Man course, and then they get that empty feeling inside.

The cry out to the heavens "Is this all there is? Is there no more???"

What an existential crisis they must be going through.

Here's a prescription for you, and I think it will help you get through your crisis of faith here:

1) Realize that most women aren't very challenging once you've got your shit together. You see through their canned acts and tests and it's easier to start being the man you always suspected you were. No need to supplicate or worship them. Just be the Alpha and take the lead.

2) Move up to a higher class woman. Find a rich chick with DD implants and lots of disposable income, as well as a yacht and a Lear jet. Call her your sugar mama. Then send me a monthly support check.

3) Get plastic surgery and make yourself real plain looking so you can feel that electric thrill of attracting women again with a challenge to overcome. Seriously, stop crying to me that you get all the women you want because you won the genetic lottery and learned how to attract women from my books. (You aren't 100% "natural." :) Don't identify with your looks, because one day they won't do you anything and you'll have to stand on quality of character and ability. That's where you can really shine, if you want.

5) Start deciding what it is you want out of life.

That last one - #5 - I am dead serious about.

Inevitably when guys set their sights on winning women over, and then they learn how the game goes, and they get some easy success. They start to sabotage themselves.

Why?

Because they thought this was THE ultimate goal. To attract women and get laid. And when that gets easy, they start to lose faith and motivation.

You see women inspire men to dare to accomplish great things.

And when they realize it means we don't worship them anymore, they try to distract us from finishing them.

I'm kidding... sorta.

What you have to do is find a noble goal that will challenge you, besides women.

If you set that as your primary achievement in life, you'll always be disappointed.

Trust me.

Love them, lead them, make them happy they've got you, but don't make them your be-all end-all.

Even women don't want that.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Did you notice?

Did you guys notice the name of Will Smith's company in the movie "Hitch?"

Dynamic Dating.

Pretty funny, huh? I think the writers were lurking at my site...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

Hey, I have a question for you.

I just went though this messy breakup with my girlfriend two days ago
over a stupid argument. We still talk sometimes but she is usually
distant in the conversations. Im intrested in getting her back but I
don't know how to go about this.

In the past, chasing the ex girlfreind and acting depressed out of a breakup always ended in failure. So there is no way in hell im going to do that again and screw this up. The thing is... im not really sure on how to go about this. So far, i've been
trying to be upbeat and aloof around her and people she knows. Do you
have any rules or guidlines to go about getting back together with an
ex? Right now my situation is pretty tricky as I don't have a place I
normaly see her so the only ways I can talk to her is by the phone or
messenger on the computer. I haven't messaged her recently because I
wanted to get her some space.

Any advice would be appreciated greatly
"""""""
CARLOS:

Well, I've become something of an expert at reading between the lines in emails.

And, from what you're saying, you're definitely getting the right idea. Acting all sulky and down about losing a girl only cements in her mind why you two broke up.

You didn't say who broke up with whom, but I'm going to guess that she broke up with you. If so, that's a bad thing. She's not going to want to go back on her decision. It messes too much with her sense of independence and good judgment.

So you better have a good and convincing case for her return. Don't make promises that you've "changed" or any of that crap.

You also realized that space is the thing to do. If you crowd her now, she'll pull away forever.

I'd suggest you call her up and tell her that you want to meet her for coffee to talk about something you have in mind. ABSOLUTELY DO NOT TELL HER WHAT IT IS ON THE PHONE.

Her curiosity will provoke her to meet with you, and there you can proceed to:

A) Charm her - be a gentleman - CONFIDENT

B) Make her laugh - If you don't get her cheerful inside, she won't entertain the thought of a return

C) Don't make any promises or overtures to "get back together." Just move in on her and woo her a little. Throw a little romance on her. Flirt with her.

D) Hint that you MAY have made a mistake. As if YOU are the one who is thinking about MAYBE getting back with her again. You want to see how she reacts. If she pulls away, she's not that interested in trying again. If she warms to the idea, she's probably been thinking about it, too.

E) Take your freakin' time! Go slow.

Oh, and start making plans in case you're now a single guy. Start talking to other women and easing yourself back into the game. Cover yourself and prepare a plan for recovery.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SMILING:

Hey Carlos,

I have an important question to ask you. Now, I have been spending a lot of time around this stuff (about a year) and its almost like I have come to the conclusion that it is not good to smile (as it shows that you are insecure). I have cultivated this attitude of confidence mixed with seriousness. I walk confidently, insert pauses into my conversations, and use slow movements and gestures. I used to smile more but its almost as if I feel that if i do then I am coming across as insecure.

I love to smile usually, it makes me feel good but I don't want to use it in a way that comes across as insecure. I am talking about smiling when I greet someone new, or smiling when talking sometimes.

How do I use it effectively Carlos in everyday interactions with both men and women? Thanks a lot man.

Your loyal customer,
Ron N.

"""""""""""""""""
CARLOS:

Good question. A lot of guys don't know how to smile or when in their interactions. And, as a result, they come across as a bit too "approval seeking."

I will recommend you do this, though: Unless you're one of those guys that wears a goofy-ass smile on his face ALL the time, don't feel like you have to stop from smiling. It's a bad thing to have to contradict your natural need to be happy.

But if you are one of those guys who smile TOO much, and it is possible, you should learn to lay back on the smiling a bit.

Make sure you're smiling for the right reasons and you'll never go wrong. If, as you say, you're smiling just because you feel the love and happiness inside you, then don't hold that back. That would be neurotic.

But if you're trying too hard to smile, just to attract women, and those smiles aren't authentic, then you will look like a fake. Your body language will give you away.

You said "I have cultivated this attitude of confidence mixed with seriousness. "

If that's really true, then don't worry about it. Just gauge your reactions from other people. I think you'll see that they respond well to a good smile. It shows you don't take $#!+ so seriously. You'll get women much easier with that kind of approach.

It's the results that matter. If you're attracting the women, you're doing fine.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING DYNAMICS NEWSLETTER - DATING ADVICE FOR MEN

ATTN Newsletter Subscribers: Make sure you confirm your subscription at the link that was sent to you over the last couple days.

Pretty soon you're going to be left off the newsletter if you don't validate your subscription right away. Check your in-box and trash just in case you missed it.

*****
QUESTION:

I'll ask you a question about Alpha man behavior, especially since you are a
martial arts instructor. I've joined a martial arts school recently and
have taken about 5 classes so far.

If a guy that is a real hot head gets in
your face, insults you, and raises his voice at you, should you
automatically fight him? Should you match his tone of voice, and get pissed
yourself, throwing insults back at him, and pushing him in the chest, which
is the almost universal form of male aggression leading to a fight? Or try
to deescalate the situation verbally?

That is definitely showing
disrespect, and I know that disrespect is totally unacceptable. I need a
better idea of when to entertain the idea of fighting, and when not to. I'm
thinking tha if I try to verbally talk him down, he may think I am a wimp
and afraid of him, and totally lose respect for me.

I know that if I got in
some guys' face, he'd prolly want to kick my ass. I also know that fighting
has repurcussions, but I want to know how to get and keep respect, even when
a dude tries me like this.
_________

CARLOS:
The first thing your sensei should teach you is that non-violence is the best measure. Remember the words from Kung-Fu, that TV show from the seventies:

"Avoid rather than check. Check rather than hurt. Hurt rather than maim. Maim rather than kill. Kill rather than be killed. For all life is precious, nor can any be replaced..."

The only time you fight is when A) you have no choice, and B) You know he's going to throw a punch. Then you strike FIRST.

The only way you get experienced at B is by feeling out people's energy, and it's not something that most can do. They're leading very insulated lives (insulated emotionally) and prefer the blind aggression to the real deal.

Remember that Martial Artists tend to be driven by ego more than ability. They put themselves in harm's way far too often because they just got their "blue" belt or some crap like that, and they endanger themselves and everyone around them.

The best approach is learning how to verbally disarm someone. I teach my students this, and my Sensei taught me this as well. You have to learn how to talk someone down out of their rage inspired moment of assault.

Why?

Because if that jackass has a shim or a knife on him, or even a gun, you know that no karate in the world can stop a bullet. You might be able to disarm them of a weapon, but don't count on getting away without bloodshed.

That being said, you do not escalate verbal confrontation. You have to tame your anger and learn how to VERBALLY SPAR. You have to learn how to manipulate conversation and defuse these guys.

You learn how to defend yourself physically... so it stands to reason that you better learn how to defend yourself verbally, too.

The way that you show that disrespect is unacceptable is by not accepting it, but not by throwing punches or returning in-kind.

You simply say something like, "Now why would you say something like that? I thing you're a pretty cool guy. I don't understand why you want to disrespect me like that when we're having a perfectly fun conversation here. Why is that?"

Watch how Richard Dreyfuss does this in "Stakeout." He talks down a drunk angry guy with just a few confidently placed actions and words.

************************
QUESTION - SORT OF...

Here's the first email from this guy:

"I disagree with your definition of a Alpha Male. The term represents the ancient archetype of the leader of small tribes and family's from our caveman days.

It isn't some nice guy running around in modern society. And for you to say he lacks aggression??? WTF Carlos. That is totally eroneous. Look at the history of the alpha male as being the most aggressive of males. That is why nature selected him to lead and dominate."

And here's his second email:

"what your portraying is a Real Man not a Alpha male. You should rechange your email to reflect this. Your list of criteria has nothing to do with the real archetype of the alpha male.

Who was agressive, clever, cunning, viscious and most of the things you said a alpha male was not.

Player_Supreme"


''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
CARLOS LAUGHS HEARTILY:

I get this a lot.

There are a lot of guys who love to challenge my expertise and knowledge. Apparently, in their little village, they're the experts on this sort of thing.

The interesting thing is that if someone knows so much about a topic, why do they spend so much effort to poke holes in someone else's work?

Answer: EGO

Too much insecurity and time on his hands.

But I want to address what he talks about because there is some confusion here.

First of all I'm redefining the Alpha Man. (DUH. That's why I capitalized it. And the term is Alpha MALE when referred to in scientific terms.)

The Alpha Man is aggressive, but not overtly and not in a warlike, animal fashion.

You see I'm not trying to elicit men to revert to primal behavior here.

I'm trying to get you guys laid. Not in a gang war.

BIG DIFFERENCE.

Some guys just don't get that while we are MEN deep inside, we have EVOLVED.

That means that downright aggression is going to be viewed as BAD.

This doesn't mean that I'm not willing to fight for what I believe in. In fact, I think that most guys out there would rather avoid a confrontation. But you have to learn how to use that anger and aggression to FUEL your forward progress.

Am I making sense here?

Good.

Let's move on.

Now, he does have a point that the ARCHETYPE has these traits. Again, I'm not going to waste my time (and yours) by beating this example to death. Even though we need to emulate some of these caveman behaviors, we don't need to actually get big foreheads and drag our knuckles, now do we?

(If you're interested in what archetypes are, I suggest you study a little Carl Jung. He studied that there are symbols and examples in our lives that are standard, no matter what culture you are from. It's interesting stuff. Might even make great conversation on a date.)

Now as for other Alpha traits, I never said that Alpha Men (again, not "Male" - I'm referring to a MODERN Alpha) were not clever or cunning. In fact, in my e-book I explain this very thoroughly. The one trait a modern Alpha Man MUST have is the ability to out-THINK his enemies. Muscle is no longer the rule of the day.

In fact, it never was.

If brute force were all we needed to assure our survival, we'd never have gotten any smarter. It just so happens that intellect and wiles are much more important than physical power.

The true Alpha is able to manipulate social situations with ease.

That's why more women are Alpha than we might give them credit for.

So what you have here is a misunderstanding, probably.

This guy thought I was referring to the ideal Alpha Male, not my own modern Alpha Man. He probably was busy with this encyclopedia looking up all this great new terminology.

What he should have been doing was reading MY book... :)

If you want more Q&A, I suggest you go check out my Blog right now. I've got a ton of new information there for you, and it's updated pretty much every day.

But before you go, let me ask you something...

Are you looking to develop a few of the skills that you need to attract women? Not a ton of tricks, or magic hypnosis phrases, just a few core skills. I've got 'em.

They're not complicated, either.

I cover this and many other topics in my e-books and audio. If you'd like to learn more about how the REAL players get the women, you can download the information right away.

If you want to get that kind of understanding and control over your love life, you need to read my e-book. And you can get the benefits of my best e-books, RISK FREE for the next 90 days.

Get my books, the audio, read them and hear me explain the strategies, and then put it to work for you right away.



I'll be back with more advice soon ...

- Carlos


Send this link to someone who can use the information. Help spread the word!

------------------------------------------------------------
(c) 2003-2005 DD Publications, All Rights Reserved.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

Hi Carlos,

I live in Rome, Italy. What happens here is that girlsare really difficult as a result of the fact that all guy are really aggressive, they literally don't let them breath. Once a guy knows a girl here he literally jumps over her - tries to kiss her aggressively right away, hugs her etc. As a result girls are really distrustful and as soon as you try to tell a girl anything she runs away, expecting that the next thing you will do is "grab" her and not let her breath.

I'm a foreigner here so I'm not like this. How can I approach in such an "anomalous" situation, how can I communicate to a girl that I just wanna know her, that I will not jump over her like everybody else does?

I'll appreciate any advice

S.G., Rome
***********
CARLOS:
Great question.

Usually this isn't as much of an issue overseas because the women are women, the men are men, and everyone is comfortable in their roles.

Here in the US, we've got all that baggage.

Women trying to be men. (The "have it all" syndrome, where they end up with nothing they want.)

Men trying to be women. (The "listen to women and believe they really want us to be sensitive" syndrome.)

Women are always open to men who can learn how to communicate with them the way they respond to.

Now you've got a couple alternatives.

You can try to overcome their thick hides. (Not recommended, way too much effort.)

Or you can slip in under their radar.

Here's what I'd do:

Get a bunch of cards made up with a single Italian phrase on it. "Voiglo conoscere te meglio..." My Italian is a little rusty, but I was trying to say: "I want to know you better..."

Then say, "Scusi, chiamo e?"

Or, "What's your name?"

Dont' do it with a slick Mediterranean attitude. Just look confident but reserved.

Tell her you didn't want to interrupt her day, but you suspected that you might be able to help her find some good conversation.

You'll have to find a demeanor that's less intrusive but still holds an air of confidence.

You might even find a way of asking a fairly non-intrusive question, like what the time is or where a good gelatoria is. From there just keep talking. Once you assume the right balance of interest and controlled distance, you'll do fine.

Don't tell me that ALL the women act this way, either. You just have to slip into another mode. They will pick up on your energy and read it, so you just have to find a more laid-back approach.

I've been in Roma, and the women aren't THAT scared... :)

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

HOW TO NEG-HIT OR TEASE:

QUESTION FROM A READER:
Carlos...Would you please do an email article on the proper way to tease a women
you are interested in - including what not to do. Thanks.........F

CARLOS:
Check out this excerpt from the Houston article:

According to the story Bashev tells me later, he began by "busting her balls," which was okay, since she was easily an eight. He saw the pack of Marlboros in her back jeans pocket, which to Europeans is a cowboy cliché. So he told her she looked like a cowboy.

Don't say that -- I don't like that image, she said.

Bashev responded by ignoring her. I'm just looking at your ass, he said. He said this because her ass is firm, and she knows it. But it was all part of the setup.

She asked if he liked it because it's firm; that's why all the guys like to look.

I didn't say I liked it. I think you should work on it in the gym.

Disbelief: Are you saying I'm fat?

Well, honey, you're really losing it. You need to hit the gym.

"And when I said that," Bashev explains, "she was really attracted to me."

Now she was hooked. He moved her inside, where, as serendipity would have it, a horse race was on TV. He caught her watching.

I thought you weren't a cowboy.

Oh, I wasn't really looking there.

Again, he ignored her, and tried running a pattern: Imagine what it would be like to be in the stands, and to not care about the competition, and get close to each other and make out…

Suspicion: Are you saying you want us to make out?

Whoops. Went too far. Time for damage control. He directed her attention to a couple at a table a few yards away.

No, I was talking about them -- see how they look into each other's eyes? A gentle nudge to her side. What, did you think I wanted to kiss you? I don't kiss strangers right away. Bingo. He reversed the frame, used her own language on herself. Damage controlled.

They moved to the couch, where he busted out an effective gimmick: palm-reading. It works for those who've really paid attention to what the girl's been saying all evening. Earlier, she told him that she changes friends a lot. So he traced along a line and said, You seem unattached to people.

Wow…remember, I told you that I was not attached to my friends?

Oh, my God. Well, I'm getting really good at this.

While he read her palms, her fingers were gently grasping the backs of his wrists. He told her he liked how it felt. So he asked where she liked to be touched.

My knees.

"I started touching her knees," he explains later. "I think that was the turning point, right there."

He left with her number and a date for Wednesday night

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

ARTICLE:

The Houston Press has an interesting article on pickup... Check it out:

Keeping Score
Get a girl in record time, then get another one
By Craig Malisow


Well, some people try to pick up girls / And get called asshole / This never happened to Pablo Picasso — Jonathan Richman, “Pablo Picasso”

We’re upstairs at the Red Door when Bashev sees his target: four girls in a flurry of tight pants and spaghetti straps. They’re hot babes. HBs.

It's a warm Friday night, and the Midtown rooftop is packed with well-dressed, attractive twentysomethings. Beautiful people in the know go to the Red Door, and the owners ward off everyone else by not even having a sign.

Before I know it, Bashev's in the girls' midst, and I think, What is he doing? A solo sortie like that takes guts. But Bashev's been studying fast-seduction for three years. He told me earlier he doesn't usually try to pick up girls ("to sarge") with wingmen, but I offer my services anyway. If we run into a pairing that includes an ugly girl (UG), I may have to -- in fast-seduction lingo -- jump on the grenade.

Bashev decided earlier to use one of his favorite stories. If a girl asks what the 24-year-old does, he's not going to say he's an engineering grad student at Rice. He's studied hypertechnical concepts at Amherst and the University of Massachusetts, but big freakin' deal: Women don't like the "ultra-rational" mind, he says. They like the unpredictable.

He spends most of his time in class, bogged down in technical studies. He once worked on a project titled "Automated Synthesis of Numerical Programs for Control, Simulation and Animation of Virtual Robots." Women don't want that dude, he says. They want mystery, romance, fun.

Bashev once took a girl he liked to his computer lab at school, where he deconstructs algorithms and multivariable calculus. He wooed her for a semester with linear algebra and software design methodology. Unbelievably, she split.

So that's why he'll get women to ask what he does, whereupon he'll point to his shoes and casually say, "I'm a foot model." Tonight, I'm to be his colleague, a model of the posterior. He doesn't expect them to really believe it; it's just supposed to distinguish us from the endless succession of cheeseballs who drop the same tired lines.

Bashev is tall and lean, with short light brown hair and a friendly Bulgarian accent. So he should have an edge, but by the time I work up the nerve to actually say something like "Yes, you heard correctly; I'm an ass model," a girl with long black hair has already shot him down. He didn't even get to his foot-model spiel. So he just opens with one of her friends. He asks if she thinks American reality shows are really real.

The first girl looks at me, rolls her eyes and says she doesn't care in the first place. I just stand there and do a really good impression of a dude who has nothing to say.

Bashev's not a bad-looking guy, but he's not getting anywhere. In the parlance of fast-seduction, these girls have just demonstrated the bitch shield. It's kind of like an electrified razor-wire force field they activate to fend off idiots at places like this. It doesn't mean the girl's a bitch. It means she's acting like one to protect herself from the silk-shirted vultures who want to talk about their Beemers and Bulovas.

A genuine pickup artist (PUA) can penetrate the bitch shield through sheer wit and charm. But Bashev's not an official PUA, and pretty soon we're treated like we're invisible. The girls eventually form their own continent and drift away to a table. Bashev smiles, shrugs it off. He's just getting warmed up. There's plenty more sarging to take care of. I head to the bar while the lazy lion of the Serengeti surveys the scene.

I like the intro line about "reality shows being real." That's very use-able.

The rest of this is available at their site...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

LETTER FROM A GAL:

I got this from a woman who appreciates the finer things in life:

TY, Carlos! I am a woman, very attractive, etc. and I love Alpha men! Its true! Good luck with the book. Ever consider a dating site for Alpha men? Lots of us would like that!

-J
--------

Yeah, for you that dating service is called "See You At My Place Tomorrow Night..." :)

Actually, such a dating site would fail because real Alpha Men are out there and in-demand.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

I'll ask you a question about Alpha man behavior, especially since you are a
martial arts instructor. I've joined a martial arts school recently and
have taken about 5 classes so far.

If a guy that is a real hot head gets in
your face, insults you, and raises his voice at you, should you
automatically fight him? Should you match his tone of voice, and get pissed
yourself, throwing insults back at him, and pushing him in the chest, which
is the almost universal form of male aggression leading to a fight? Or try
to deescalate the situation verbally?

That is definitely showing
disrespect, and I know that disrespect is totally unacceptable. I need a
better idea of when to entertain the idea of fighting, and when not to. I'm
thinking tha if I try to verbally talk him down, he may think I am a wimp
and afraid of him, and totally lose respect for me.

I know that if I got in
some guys' face, he'd prolly want to kick my ass. I also know that fighting
has repurcussions, but I want to know how to get and keep respect, even when
a dude tries me like this.

CARLOS:
The first thing your sensei should teach you is that non-violence is the best measure. Remember the words from Kung-Fu, that TV show from the seventies:

"Avoid rather than check. Check rather than hurt. Hurt rather than maim. Maim rather than kill. Kill rather than be killed. For all life is precious, nor can any be replaced..."

The only time you fight is when A) you have no choice, and B) You know he's going to throw a punch. Then you strike FIRST.

The only way you get experienced at B is by feeling out people's energy, and it's not something that most can do. They're leading very insulated lives (insulated emotionally) and prefer the blind aggression to the real deal.

Remember that Martial Artists tend to be driven by ego more than ability. They put themselves in harm's way far too often because they just got their "blue" belt or some crap like that, and they endanger themselves and everyone around them.

The best approach is learning how to verbally disarm someone. I teach my students this, and my Sensei taught me this as well. You have to learn how to talk someone down out of their rage inspired moment of assault.

Why?

Because if that jackass has a shim or a knife on him, or even a gun, you know that no karate in the world can stop a bullet. You might be able to disarm them of a weapon, but don't count on getting away without bloodshed.

That being said, you do not escalate verbal confrontation. You have to tame your anger and learn how to VERBALLY SPAR. You have to learn how to manipulate conversation and defuse these guys.

You learn how to defend yourself physically... so it stands to reason that you better learn how to defend yourself verbally, too.

The way that you show that disrespect is unacceptable is by not accepting it, but not by throwing punches or returning in-kind.

You simply say something like, "Now why would you say something like that? I thing you're a pretty cool guy. I don't understand why you want to disrespect me like that when we're having a perfectly fun conversation here. Why is that?"

Watch how Richard Dreyfuss does this in "Stakeout." He talks down a drunk angry guy with just a few confidently placed actions and words.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

We've got the proof for you...

I told you guys a couple days back that we did a case study with someone to prove how well the materials work in REAL life. Well, I've got the link to the report for you that you can download at your own leisure.

It was prepared by the webmaster of this site. It's impartial (he's not affiliated with me at all) so you can be sure the information is accurate.

Check it out HERE

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

New Podcast!

Go get it HERE...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

WHAT A WOMAN WANTS:

I got this from C, the "anonymous" lady who's been sending in some great stuff lately on what a woman wants in a man. She sent me some more today that I thought you guys simply HAD to see.

---------------

A friend asked me the other day if it was cool for a guy to partake in “designer drinks,” like cosmopolitans... Initially, I thought of course, I serve them up to my male friends all the time. It’s actually quite sexy to see a man who is so confident in his sexuality. One caveat however, please do not go to a bar alone and order a Cosmo or anything with a parasol for that matter. If you must have a pink drink at least order it in a rocks glass!

As feminine as I am, I rather prefer my cocktail in a strong, solid glass- there’s something about holding on to a spindly, delicate stem that just doesn’t do it for me.
Women can sit at a bar alone, order a bottled beer, and seductively drink it with no retribution. Sorry guys, such is life!

If you ask a gal what a woman wants, their answers will be pretty “predictable”. You all know the discourse so I don’t have to reiterate it here. It sounds something like what the contestants at a Ms. America Contest recite, “peace on earth.” The truth of the matter is not all women want the same thing; there are many women like myself that aren’t afraid to want it “all.”

Last time I wrote here I was telling a story about an interlude I had with an old friend…

David didn’t waste anytime getting my attention, as I said the sexual tension was intense.

After a few days, the innocuous emails gathered some momentum and went from mild flirting, to hot and steamy. As we were on different coasts, I didn’t take it all too seriously and just kind of went with the flow.

David started to email me and call me a number of times a day. When I asked that he, cool down on the quantity and quality of the emails, and calls, his tone totally changed.
A number of his messages started off with, “because I am a really nice guy”….

David thought that I wanted him to dote on me- but what was really going on was he had lost his sense of self. All of that sexual tension disappeared into cyberspace and I was left with a cute puppy dog.

As he lost all of his confidence, my interest started to wane. He did briefly arouse me in a voice mail he left me after indulging in a few martinis. He was forceful, and told me “I had better wait it out, and how it’s been all about me and that was going to change! “

Unfortunately, the next day he apologized- even after I told him that his voicemail stirred things up a bit. What initially attracted me to David was that he was intelligent, honorable, witty, sexy, flirtatious, and unpredictable. He initiated the seduction dance by being coy, daring, and, deliberate. The element of surprise, which had caught my attention had vanished, and frankly so did I.

I am certainly not immune to all the attention I was getting from him; I love flowers, flattery, romance…

And oh yea, I truly do want peace on earth- I just want to share it with a man who is comfortable with his masculinity… spontaneous, sexy, seductive, intriguing, adoring, amorous, distracting, hilarious, coquettish, and unpredictable.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SURVEY - IMPORTANT!

Guys, we're starting an important survey today. We want to find out from all you guys what you want next to help you develop your abilities. Every guy out there wants a girlfriend - and we want to give you the skills you need to attract women and get laid.

So go on over to our Home Page and look down the left side of the page. You'll see a quick survey that you can just check the one you're most interested in. This will help us a great deal.

Thanks!