Friday, November 30, 2007

Field Report of an Approach

Hi Carlos,

I recently purchased a copy of the Dating Black Book [e-book version] with the Advanced Coaching.

I am gradually making my way thru the material. Your encouraging words have given me the strength, knowledge and tools to approach women. I have just started reading the information, but felt inspired to approach women when the opportunity presented itself.

I recently had a conversation with a woman, which started well, but said something, to turned her away. If I could please ask for your advise, as it would be greatly appreciated to help me understand further your information.


This was the follow event;

· While at work I was discussing business matters over the telephone with a woman. I had one previous business conversation with.
· Towards the end of our conversation I took the courage to diverse a little into her employment interests and we both became consumed by the conversation.
· I felt like inviting her to a coffee to continue the conversation, but ‘felt’ it was bad timing at this point. Instead I sent her an email to close off our discussions and ask her discretely for a future meeting. I wrote the following;

“Further to yesterdays conversation, if you can please send a short email, notifying me who will deal with our application, once you leave council. I can then make further contact after the revamped design has been discussed with our clients.’

“I enjoyed our short chat yesterday, so I wish you well with your studies and hope you found your experience at Council enjoyable. Would like to continue the conversation further, if you are available and can be contacted on (cell phone number) or email.”

She replied: “If you'd like to know a bit more about my experience at Council you can contact me at (her private email) or (her cell phone number) I look forward to hearing from you. “
Kindest Regards, [her name]


· Great! I got both a personal contact number and email.
· I made arrangements by email for a suitable time to contact.
· I returned her call and the conversation started well, about how her day was going, her new job etc.
“I am pleased you called back and what do I owe the pleasure of this call about. “She replied later.

· I said I was interested with our previous conversation and if she would like to carry it on over a coffee. She said yes, I would like too.

· She then asked if I would like to ask her anything now.
I said 'I was interested in getting to know her, and not the project we were discussing."
She said. ‘Gulp’ shudder’. Err I’m engaged!

· I apologized that maybe I got the wrong idea. That I felt an intuition to ask her out for a coffee and that perhaps if I was not as forward then we would never meet or never know.

· She said,
“There should be more guys like me out there that can approach women and ask.”

· I said that I normally not as forward, tried to be discreet in a work environment, but mentioned that I felt the need to ask as I felt an interest her.

· I wrapped things up and left it open or her to contact me if she needed any help with her new job in the future. As I felt I was shot down.

Now I initially wonder whether I was feeling the right vibes. When I got off the telephone after the first conversation, a female employee heard the conversation and said to me ‘why didn’t you ask her for coffee.” This reinforced my feel that I had the right vibes. I have not seen this woman and took my judgment of her from our conversation over the telephone.

Our call seemed to go fine until I said ‘I was interested in her’ and see replied nervously and quickly ‘but I am engaged’.

What did I say wrong? Should I of just carried on in meeting with her for coffee to carry on our ‘supposedly business conversation’.

She told me she was 23, [sounded more mature and intelligent over the telephone] when we were discussing things about her day initially, and this made me a bit nervous and i decided mentally not to take things further as i felt she was to young, as I am 40.

I have become curious and eager to understand what I have said wrong, which may of put her off, so I can learn and not repeat this next time round. As she has no idea of my age or appearance prior, I assumed this had no reason to offend her and the tone of her voice sounded like she wanted to discuss more that just our business?

Could I please ask for your help on this? I would like to read your experience on this, just to help me get over the hurdle and understand my mistake so I can move on and learn.

Thank you

Kind regards,

Steven D.
______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

Well, there are a few things I'd like to point out to you...

The first is that you were NOT shot down. You're making the mistake of misinterpreting circumstance.

SHE WAS ENGAGED. There's nothing you can do about that.

If you interpret any circumstance that doesn't net you a date as being "shot down," you'll cripple your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Chalk it up as just "the way it goes."

NEXT.

If you fully expect the reality - which is that you'll probably have to go through 10 cold introductions to get a couple worthwhile candidates - you'll keep a healthier attitude overall.

And you asked what you said wrong to this woman.

You didn't say ANYTHING wrong.

SHE WAS ENGAGED. There's nothing you can do about that.

You didn't make any mistakes! You simply happened to ask out a woman that was romantically involved.

The lesson for you here is that you did the right thing and if you continue to approach women, you WILL get success.

How do I know this?

Because if you DON'T approach women (which is the way 80% of all guys handle their dating), you simply WILL NOT get success.

As Wayne Gretzky once said: "I miss every shot I don't take..."

Congratulations are actually in order: You are doing what most guys won't, and that alone is worthy of recognition. Now be willing to keep learning, keep trying, and persist until you get the results you desire.

Good Job!

Now, we could get into a whole long analysis of why she acted this way and what you should have read into it, but that is counterproductive.

REMEMBER: Any analysis that stops you from taking the right action - and developing the HABIT of taking that action - works against your confidence and sabotages your success.

Just move on to the next woman, and don't get caught up in the analysis stage...

NEXT!

______________________
If you'd like to understand how this guy made the leap from doing nothing to approaching women, then you need my Dating Black Book.

GET IT HERE...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, November 26, 2007

This is hysterical...

This comes to us from a fellow Alpha Brother out of San Francisco.

Let this posting from Craigslist show you that there are people that believe there is something redemptive and absolving about putting their worst appearance out there for the whole world to see. This falls under the classification of "I'm just being honest to get approval for grotesque behavior."

Read, laugh, and soak in the response she got...

______________________

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST:

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.


THE ANSWER:
Dear Pers-:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, November 24, 2007

What's a Nice Girl

Hi Carlos,

I was thinking today, you have "nice guys," is there also an equivalent for "nice girls"? Like the ones below 6 or something?

______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Well, I'm intrigued by the pre-supposition in your question. (If you aren't familiar with presuppositions, I teach you about them HERE.)

What you're saying is that if a woman rates high on your "1 to 10" scale, she can't be "nice."

The term "Nice Guy" refers to a mindset of a man who has decided that the only way he can get a woman is to put aside his masculine strength and confidence to kiss a woman's ass. He figures that the "nicer" he is, the more a woman will want him.

Which, unfortunately, is completely and totally false, as I hope you know by now. (If you aren't aware of why this is wrong, CLICK HERE.)

So let's put aside any judgements about a woman's looks for the moment.

The "nice girl" would be a one that thinks that if she's "nice" enough to a guy, self-sacrificing, etc., that she can also lure a guy in.

Which, unfortunately, is probably right.

But, what inevitably happens to the nice girl is that she gets trapped in a role where the guy either dominates her, or takes her for granted after a while. (Similar to what happens to a guy that manages to get into a relationship by being the "nice guy.")

You see, being the "nice" person, male or female, is not really about being NICE at all. It's about being manipulative to get what you want. "Nice"-ness is just a passive-aggressive social strategy.

This may sound harsh, but it's usually true. Just remember back to that kid in your neighborhood or school that was always sucking up to you. Did you find them attractive or interesting to be with? No, not really.

You can be a good person, help people, and be nice in a positive way AND a negative way.

I'll tell you more about this in my new Social Strategy program coming soon...

But for now, you should learn how to sniff out the real people from the fake in my Conversation & Persuasion program.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, November 19, 2007

Got Married, and now things are looking ... er, down.

I got married just over a year ago, and the only way I could have done that was with your help.

Now I need your help again. This time it's with our sex life. Recently I've been having a hard time getting and keeping an erection. I don't think it's anything physically wrong with me because I'm only 31, and have no problem when I take care of myself (Which these days is about once- twice/week).

Also when I do get it up long enough to have sex, I seem to run out of steam before I get off. I must tell you this has really affected my confidence in this area, which only makes matters worse. To the point where I don't even want to try because I'm afraid of failure.

I don't know if I'm just freaked out that this is it for me, if it's the lack of variety, if it's that there is no more challenge, or if it's just plain boredom. It could actually be the combination of it all.

She is afraid that I'm not attracted to her any more. Don't get me wrong because she is attractive, but that could be the case as well (since the newness of it has worn off). I don't know what to do. I'm afraid for our marriage if we can't fix this.

Can you please share your thoughts on this issue?

______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

As with any situation of this nature, I always encourage guys to visit a doctor or health professional to discuss the situation. They will be your best resource.

Off the top of my head, this doesn't sound like a biological problem of any kind. In fact, it sounds just like most of the relationships that guys get into where familiarity short-circuits desire.

The good news?

This is actually very simple to fix. (Note that I didn't say it was "easy.")

You just have to start working on the psychological reasons for your own hesitation. You're obviously putting a lot of mental pressure on yourself. Fear of non-performance ranks right up there in terms of pressure.

You need to create a bedroom environment where it's okay to not "rise to the occasion." This would be a place in your world (and your relationship) where you don't have to fear that situation. Because the nasty situation is that the more you don't want it to happen, the more likely it is to happen.

You also need to establish a very clear and open communication channel with your woman that gets rid of the pretentious B.S. that I see a lot of married couples working under.

I see this pattern happen quite a bit.

Remember the saying: The secret to happiness is not finding a new place or a new woman. It's learning how to look at the familiar with new eyes.

Novelty always wears off. The deepest skill you can attain is learning how to enjoy something familiar for longer by discovering new things about it.

You see, it's easy to get rid of one thing and get a new one.

Bored of your car? Go buy a new one.

Don't like your TV? There's a newer one with a bigger screen right around the corner at Best Buy.

Tired of your clothes? Go out and buy more.

Our culture encourages this instant gratification mindset. Ultimately, though, it's not the way to peace and happiness. And it's also not the way to the Alpha Lifestyle.

I don't buy into the concept of "not attracted to her anymore."

The reason we lose attraction for someone is because of the way we THINK about them. Nothing has physically changed, right? So the entire situation about the attraction to her is encased in that melon on top of your neck.

It's a choice you have to make for yourself, and it was one that I've had to make in relationships over and over in the past.

You can do one of these two things:

A) Go find something shiny and new that you find attractive right now.
(And later it, too, will eventually fade and lose its appeal.)

B) Learn how to re-discover your attraction for your wife so that you can build a lifelong skill of perseverance and self-discipline?

Guess which one of those choices is a spiral of never-ending disappointment? (Answer: A)

Guess which one of them requires effort, which is why so few ever choose it? (Answer: B)

Oh, the side effect of Answer B is that you'll also become a better Alpha Man with more inner knowledge and emotional intelligence. In fact, there is no downside to B other than the fact that you don't get to get a new set of boobs and butt next to you in bed every night.

I'm not coming down on anyone that wants to date around or get laid a lot. Go for it! I have.

But when you decide to make a commitment and go for broke with a relationship, don't make the mistake of thinking that you've "fallen out of love" or "lost your attraction." You've only lost the ability to find deeper satisfaction with what you have.

There's another saying that I have always found helpful:

The secret to happiness is to learn how to want what you already have.

This is the stuff that pickup artists don't teach you.

Learn how to live a powerful Alpha Lifestyle...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Are You Already Immersed?

I had a few guys that sent me emails asking what the difference was between the new Alpha Lifestyle program: http://www.thealphalifestyle.com and the Alpha Immersion program that I released last year.

The Alpha Immersion Program focuses on your confidence, and your Approach game with women. It's the ADVANCED sequel to the Secrets of the Alpha Man.

The Alpha Lifestyle program (available NOW) is my new program based on completing your skills to attract women, and shows you how to do this by integrating your "pickup" skills into your LIFESTYLE.

I had so many guys that have asked me over the years what there is beyond the "get women" part of this self-development process that I knew I had to create something that would answer this question, because it's one that I used to ask, too.

The Alpha Lifestyle Program
is specifically designed to show you how Motivation (your fuel), Inner Game (your engine and transmission), and Outer Game (Where your rubber meets the road) come together and create your Alpha Lifestyle and Success.

You'll want both programs to complete your understanding of both attraction with women as well as the way to a stronger and more complete Alpha Lifestyle.

Hope this helps you understand the difference a little better...

Get the new Alpha Lifestyle HERE.

- Carlos

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, November 17, 2007

More comments on "Tough Love..."

Here's another comment about my letter called "Tough Love":
______________________

OK, I normally don't do this, write back on your newsletters, but the advice in your Tough Love email was 100% (for me at least) on target.

We all have rough spots that we have to get over, and your advice on fixing yourself, before getting things working with females is the ticket. And for you guys who think the first time out of the box you are going to be Don Juan, you had better think again. Some will tumble for it, some won't. Its a question of fit. Not all the females out there are great catches my friend, some are frogs in supermodel bodies with to die for faces.

Like Carlos says, it is the inner game, and that goes for them to, what is their inner game? That is what I think you meant about some parents being more afraid of their children. Perspective!

Better be looking for that (the opposite sex's inner game) as you seek to get them into your bedroom, or you could be in for the shock of your life. A friend once told me that the difference between males and females is that they start to learn communication interplay right off the bat! Dolls, tea parties, conversation and communication with them starts at five. Us guys are into competitive sports, being the big (or little) dog, competition,, etc, so we really don't get into this communication thing until much later in life. That gives the women a real good head start. So, we are all playing catch up!

Since we are years behind, we need good insight and analysis to pick up the slack so that we can come to grips with perspective. There are more of them, then there are of us. Supply and demand. So, if you don't want to listen to Carlos, just remember that guys like me will be taking your share of supply, of which there is already toooooo much!

Back to tough love ---------
Sticking ones hand under a damp rock in the forest might find a snake, or a Truffle (I know you don't find Truffles that way, just using an examine with creative license).

So, tough love goes for yourself, then the females are easy!

KEEP IT UP CARLOS, US GUYS APPRECIATE YOU!

- H.W.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, November 16, 2007

Much Response on My Tough Love

A lot of guys have been writing in on my post from yesterday regarding the "tough-love" situation.

And all of it overwhelmingly positive.

One of the letters stood out, and I wanted to share it with you...

______________________

Carlos,

I’m glad you decided to publish the letter and your response to the 37 year old ex-addict. It comes at the right time for me as it reinforces my resolve.

I’m 57 years old. In my 20’s I was a completely clueless AFC and married the second girl that showed an interest in me. By my 40’s I’d reached the top of my field as a traditional animator at a big studio, had a beautiful house in an exclusive part of LA, a second home in Taos, New Mexico and a bitchin BMW Z3.

A few years ago, everything in my field went digital and my 25 year career came to an end. I became ill, my lavish lifestyle ended and so did my 30 year marriage.

The truth is, though I’ve enjoyed animation, I’m an artist first and didn’t have time for my own artwork that would satisfy my soul. The truth is, my affluent lifestyle was nice, but it didn’t make me happy. The truth is, I “settled” for the woman I married and for years ached for a relationship with a woman that I never thought possible because I just wasn’t “good with women”.

The truth is, though I’m still reeling from the blows life has given me, I’ve actually been blessed with an opportunity to rebuild my life without compromise.

I’ve availed myself of information on women and dating and am an Advanced Audio Coaching subscriber. Though I’ve been working at it, my return to health has been slower than I’d like so I haven’t really been dating. Like you suggest, my primary focus is on getting my own life in order. Right now, as far as women go, I’m just going about my daily life making girls smile every chance I get and it makes me feel like a million bucks. I’m listening to audios of inspirational speakers that you recommend and have started bringing more positive people into my life. I’m on the path of making my own artwork that satisfies my soul.

I’ve been through allot of what he’s been through. This fellow needs to take contrary action. That is, if you feel like staying in bed, you get out of bed one foot at a time. If you feel like staying home and watching TV, you pull the plug on the TV (literally) and go out and interact with the world. Those who have been slammed by life circumstances have a tendency to become selfish and self-centered. This is deadly. If you’re an ex-addict, that means you can join a 12 step program and help other addicts get sober. Instead of thinking “how can I get a woman”, focus on what you can GIVE to others. It’s just like how you got sober: It’s just a matter of, one day at a time, choosing life instead of a living death of self-pity and isolation.

Carlos, it’s clear to me that you walk like you talk; that what really counts is living a life of meaning and purpose. It’s clear to me that you truly do care about helping us men build a better life for ourselves. And for that, I thank you.


Gratefully,

R.H.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Stop limiting your beliefs and your potential...

I debated long and hard about publishing this letter - and my response, but I felt that it was more important to send this out to you and to help guys everywhere understand what being a MAN - an ALPHA Man - is all about.

The focus in society these days seems to be that we're "too hard" on our kids. Can't spank them. Can't raise your voice to them. You don't want to traumatize their fragile little brains, now would you?

For the first time ever, surveys show that parents are MORE afraid of their kids than their kids are afraid of them.

That is so f*cking wrong and backwards.

Sure, I'm risking offending a few people here, and not being "politically correct," and maybe missing out on a few sales, but I don't care.

I tell the truth that needs to be heard. Not to be obnoxious or self-serving, but to help YOU.

Read on...
______________________

Hi,

I don't think I'm very good at explaining things so just bare with me here.

I just read Carlos Xuma's 3-step Formula.
I have a slight problem with this.

You said "They are going to SO love having me talk to them. I'm fun, interesting,
and I've got a shitload of life experience to share with them."

That's all fine and dandy for you.
Your a Snowboarder.
You have went Sky Diving.
Your a Martial Artist.
You have your own business.

But what about a guy like me who is an ex-drug addict!
Who don't own thier own business and only worked a few lame ass
jobs like at Subway or Little Caesars.
Who has Depression.
Who has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
and barely touches a door knob because his brain tells him it's contaminated.
Who is on Disability...
and a number of other problems like Over Active Bladder,
Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Seborrheic Dermatitis

Oh and by the way I'm 37 about to be 38 in March.

I have learned alot from you and I thank you for that.
The thing is now that I have read the 3-step Formula
and all the other stuff I don't know what to do.

What am I going to tell these girls?
I mean my life has and is messed up.

Discuss please.
I want real one on one answers from you bro
not this stuff about it's in the blog.
I'm even willing to send you a money order.

- Jeff
______________________
CARLOS DISHES OUT SOME TOUGH LOVE:

Wow, I guess you're right. You have it too tough. Your life is horrible. You might as well give up.

Uh, whatever. That last sentence was complete and utter crap.

Jeff, it's time for some tough-love.

I don't care about all those things you listed. And the fact is - neither should you.

It's unfortunate, but it's life.

If you continue to identify and live on the self-victimization of your past - always holding yourself back because of these self-imposed ideas about your own shortcomings, you'll never accomplish anything.

I'm not going to coddle you or find someone you can cry with. You can spend years of your life in therapy (and I'm not saying you shouldn't have a little help for your situation), but the fact of the matter is that as long as you want to keep playing the "oh poor me" game, and "I'll never be as good as Carlos," you will NEVER reach your OWN potential.

Honestly, stop whining.

Kwitcherbitchin.

Go be a snowboarder.

Go skydive.

Go take up martial arts.

Go do whatever it is that fulfills YOU, and makes you happy.

Whatever it is you want to do in life.

Start NOW.

I don't care how old you are.

Start NOW.

I don't care what labels you want to use to justify your place in life.

Start NOW.

Honestly, if you're focusing on women right now, you're probably off track. You need to focus on YOU. Women are not a fix or a cure. They are a nice addition to an already fulfilling existence.

Yeah, you've got some heavy shit to take care of.

Maybe you have a "messed up" life.

So what?

I did, too. I've had my own share of personality problems and obstacles to overcome. I had an "abusive" childhood. I had narcissism and ego problems and self-esteem issues. I spent most of my early 20's drinking and being angry at the world.

Well, yeah. Who cares.

It took me YEARS to get where I could jump out of a plane and be a martial arts teacher, and even learn how to have a full-time, deep relationship with ONE woman. (I don't have to train my girlfriends or sleep with a new woman every night.) If you think I'm special or some isolated case, you missed the point.

You see, that's why I created this programs, so you every guy could get on track with women and his lifestyle. AND so you wouldn't have to take as long as I did. I've got the short-cuts for you.

Get over it.

Get to work on your life now, or would you rather we sit here and dwell on all the reasons you were the victim your whole life?

I wouldn't do you that disservice. You have infinite potential and ability, if you just start working on it.

Sure, it's easier to talk talk talk about all the bad shit you've had to deal with. That can be your story if you like.

Or you can start to re-write it right now.

You can make your life all about how hard you have it, or make your identity all this downer shit you have going on, or you can put it aside and live your life.

So if you're ready to get over this stuff, and get your LIFE on track - something that I teach you that other "pickup artists" do not - then I suggest you get started learning the Secrets of the Alpha Lifestyle here.

Keep your faith and your focus on developing yourself. The next time you talk to a woman, talk about your goals and where you're going, not where you've been and what they called you along the way.

I don't think you really want my pity, just some direction.

Keep your money-order. This is from my heart to yours, bro.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Carlos Comments on Other Programs...

Hey Carlos, I've been meaning to write you ever since the survey a few weeks ago... You asked people who got in too late to shoot you emails with feedback, but I haven't had time. (Don't really have time now, but whatever.)

I encountered your stuff through David D's interview series. Yours was one of the best interviews I've heard (before and since), and I grabbed the Secrets of the Alpha Man eBook and audio program. It's potent stuff, and I keep going back to it even years later. It's an important part of the foundation of my own inner game work....

I haven't picked up any of your other products mostly because I'm a college student and I simply don't have the money to buy all of the products that I'd like to. I have, however, been following your blog and your mailing list for some time now.

I'm curious if you have an opinion of two other, complimentary programs out there, namely David Deida's work on being a "superior man", and Travis Decker's Authentic Man Program. The latter is based in San Francisco and deals entirely with the inner game, so I'm rather surprised that I've never heard you mention them.

Anyway, keep up the excellent work, man. You've made a difference in my life, and continue to do so. ... my overall confidence and my relationship with women has steadily improved over the last few years, and that's due in significant part to your influence.

I've gone from being the shy (and slightly autistic) guy in the corner to being a man who will walk up to anyone at any time and speak to them, and is generally near the center of whatever conversation or activity is going on. I've still got a ways to go, but I'm pleased with my progress so far.

For this and more, you have my gratitude.

- Mike C.
______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

Actually, Travis is a good friend of mine. If you saw the "Alpha Immersion" DVDs, they were filmed at his loft in the City. Their work is excellent, and I highly recommend them.

Also, David Deida's work has been quoted by me numerous times in the Advanced Coaching program, and I strongly endorse his book "The Way of the Superior Man." It's ESSENTIAL reading.

I'm very glad to hear of your success, and I hope as you're able that you'll take a dip into my other programs. I'm sure you'll find further growth in all these materials. Just wait until you see what's coming in 2008...

By the way, I've made all my programs affordable to EVERY guy out there. I don't charge you $2000 for $100 worth of knowledge, or try to milk you based on some perceived celebrity status.

I offer all my programs with an easy multiple payment option that lets you get ANY of my programs for a very reasonable investment...

Find out more here: CARLOS XUMA'S CATALOG...

Stay Alpha!

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Are You Already Immersed?

I had a few guys that sent me emails asking what the difference was between the new Alpha Lifestyle program: http://www.thealphalifestyle.com and the Alpha Immersion program that I released late last year.

The Alpha Immersion Program focuses on your confidence, and your Approach game with women. It's the ADVANCED sequel to the Secrets of the Alpha Man.

The Alpha Lifestyle program (available NOW) is my new program based on completing your skills to attract women, and shows you how to do this by integrating your "pickup" skills into your LIFESTYLE.

I had so many guys that have asked me over the years what there is beyond the "get women" part of this self-development process that I knew I had to create something that would answer this question, because it's one that I used to ask, too.

The Alpha Lifestyle Program
is specifically designed to show you how Motivation (your fuel), Inner Game (your engine and transmission), and Outer Game (Where your rubber meets the road) come together and create your Alpha Lifestyle and Success.

You'll want both programs to complete your understanding of both attraction with women as well as the way to a stronger and more complete Alpha Lifestyle.
Hope this helps you understand the difference a little better...


- Carlos

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Yes! The Alpha Lifestyle is NOW available!

As far back as I can remember, I'd always wanted to be good with
girls.

I was working on my "game" long before any of the books on pickup
were written.

Over the years, I got pretty good at the game.

Okay... REALLY good.

But even though I was able hook up with all kinds of girls, I still
didn't feel fulfilled... it was like a piece of the puzzle was still
missing...

Then I came to a realization that happens to a LOT of guys who
study pickup.

They get to a point where it starts to feel shallow and redundant...
because no one ever really "wins" the game.

They know they want MORE out of relationships, out of themselves,
out of life... but they're lacking the one essential ingredient
that separates pickup artists from successful Alpha Men...

LIFESTYLE.

The right lifestyle means you've put ALL of the pieces together.
Your goals are totally in sync with your actions and your inner
beliefs.

(The right lifestyle also makes getting women SO much easier. Women
have a "sixth sense" for guys who are passionate about life and
focused on their goals... it's a super attractive quality.)

So now I want to talk to you about making the next big step...putting
ALL of the pieces together and DESIGNING and CREATING your ultimate
lifestyle.

It's called the Triple Threat DVD Program, and it's now available
at this link:

ALPHA LIFESTYLE TRIPLE THREAT
This 6 DVD set covers it all. Developing the right inner belief
system, and using it to bond with women... learning the psychology of
women and sex, and how to target the core female desires... exercises
for becoming more organized and focused on your career and personal
goals... these 6 DVDs cover it all, step by step.

Is the Triple-Threat Program going to transform your lifestyle?

Well, let me ask you a few questions...

Are you tired of chasing women and feeling like it's all a game?

Do you sometimes feel like you're FAKING IT when you approach girls
and start conversations?

You'd rather be genuine and authentic... and have women appreciate
the REAL you... but it seems like you've got to "play the game" to
get girls interested in you, doesn't it?

Do you believe that certain girls are out of your league... that they
require things that you just don't possess?

Have you read books on self-improvement, dating tactics, etc... but
you feel like an important piece of the puzzle is still missing?

Do you have personal goals that you want to achieve, but you're
lacking focus and motivation? (You find yourself procrastinating
and making excuses, instead of getting it done?)

The Triple Threat DVD Program is going to totally change the way
you set and achieve your goals... with women, your career, and beyond.

I'm going to show you how to live your life with total confidence
and focus.

It's about having the power to shape your own destiny and get the
RESULTS you want.

It's called the Alpha Lifestyle DVD Program, and you can watch a 12
minute preview at this link:

ALPHA LIFESTYLE TRIPLE THREAT
The three main areas of the Triple-Threat - Inner Game, Outer Game,
and Motivation - are going to get you focused, organized and
committed to ALL of your goals.

Then I'm going to show you, step-by-step, how to make these goals a
REALITY.

Just imagine you've suddenly got the ability to "crack the code"
with women. You can approach ANY girl you see, engage her in
conversation, and build a connection within minutes.

You never worry about what you should do or say next...it all flows
naturally, and you can sense her attraction level BUILDING with
each passing moment.

No stress, no rejection, just RESULTS.

Now, imagine having this same level of confidence and clarity with
your other personal goals.

Picture yourself being totally motivated to excel in your career,
fitness, and other goals...waking up each day feeling like a MAN ON A
MISSION.

The Triple-Threat DVD Program will transform you in three ways:

INNER GAME: You'll learn how to "reframe" your mindset, eliminate
the negative beliefs that have been holding you back, and focus on
personal success and fulfillment. Reprogram your life from the
inside out.

OUTER GAME: The specific techniques and tactics that you'll use in
your interactions with women--whether it's the opening conversation,
the first date, or maintaining a relationship on your terms. These
tactics are also essential in building your social and business
networks.

MOTIVATION: How to become the "complete package": a
state-of-the-art Alpha Man. Your goals will become crystal-clear in
your mind, and you'll possess the tools and the knowledge to
achieve them.

The Alpha Lifestyle: Triple-Threat Program contains 6 DVDs filled
with information and inspiration.

You'll have a front-row seat as I explain the complete Triple
Threat system, along with some very special guests including:

- Playboy Magazine models Shannon Stewart and Katerina Kovac, who
help me demonstrate conversation & seduction techniques. (Once
you've learned how to build fast connections with "10's" like these
two girls, normal everyday women will hardly be a challenge.)

- Christopher Curtis, a former Marine and Hostage Negotiator and
the co-creator of the popular M.A.C.K. Tactics dating system. He
hosts a segment on developing an unstoppable mindset and achieving
total synchronicity with your words, thoughts and actions.

- My student and seduction guru "Ranger-X," who explains for the
first time his "Under the Wire" approach technique. Ranger-X has
learned from me as well as some of the best, and he has synthesized
his learnings into his own unique system, which includes amazing
tactics for approaching women and "slipping through their
defenses." You'll learn how to turn the tables...and have women
trying to impress you instead of the other way around!

You're going to get six (6) DVDs filled with information (plus a
lot of bonus material). This is a LOT of powerful stuff. I suggest
watching one disc per day, and after watching each disc, spend some
time reviewing your notes afterwards. Block out a couple of hours
each day, when you won't have any outside distractions, and devote
it to this purpose.

The "pickup" scenarios demonstrated on Disc #3 are great...I even
brought in a couple of Playboy Magazine models to help assist...but
don't skip ahead to that disc! It's important that you learn the
lessons of Inner Game first. That's going to give you the solid
foundation you need to start applying the pickup & conversation
tactics.

Our warehouse is only stocking a limited number of copies of the
Triple Threat DVD Program, so be sure to make your purchase on
November 11 or right afterwards.

Yes, I'll be getting more in, and I'm not trying to scare you with
scarcity here. BUT I know a lot of guys would be pissed if their
orders were delayed due to a back-order, so I'm trying to save you
that.

Oh, and check out the incredible bonus package I'm throwing in for this
program, complimentary with your order.


Remember, the greatest investment you can ever make it is yourself.
Don't wait...seize the day!

Go see the program now:
ALPHA LIFESTYLE TRIPLE THREAT

Your friend,

Carlos Xuma

PS: You're going to learn my entire Alpha Life Plan in this
program, as well as all my best rapport-building techniques -
Including the method to meet women OUTSIDE of bars and clubs...


PPS: If you're wondering where this program fits into things,
The Triple-Threat picks up where "The Secrets of the Alpha Man" and
"Alpha Immersion" left off. This is the finishing touch to your
game - and much more...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, November 09, 2007

THE ALPHA LIFESTYLE PROGRAM: TRIPLE-THREAT

Sunday is a very special day, and I'm going to tell you why in just
a second.

First, let me ask you a couple questions...

Are you tired of chasing women and feeling like it's all a "game?"

Do you sometimes feel like you're "faking it" when you approach a
girl and start a conversation?

You'd rather be genuine and authentic... and have women appreciate
the REAL you... but it seems like you've got to "play the game" to
get girls interested in you, doesn't it?

Have you read books on self-improvement, dating tactics, 'pickup,'
etc... but you feel like an important piece of the puzzle is still
missing?

Well, this piece of the puzzle can be summed up in one word:
LIFESTYLE.

If your overall lifestyle and beliefs aren't in sync with your
goals, you simply WILL NOT achieve them.

It's that simple.

But 94% of guys... no matter how much they read and learn... will never
realize this.

When you've got your total lifestyle figured out, and ELIMINATED
the wrong beliefs that have held you back, that's when all of the
pieces will finally come together.

Your goals with women... your career... your finances... your overall
level of happiness and passion... the right lifestyle means all of
these elements come together.

THAT is when you will live your life with total confidence and
focus.

On Sunday, November 11, you will have the opportunity to make this
transformation.

This is when the Triple-Threat DVD series will be officially
released to our subscribers.

The 3 main areas of the Alpha Lifestyle: Triple Threat - Inner
Game, Outer Game, and Motivation - are going to get you focused,
organized and committed to ALL of your goals. Then we're going to
show you, step-by-step, how to make these goals a REALITY.

I've got a great preview video available here:
THE ALPHA LIFESTYLE PROGRAM: TRIPLE-THREAT
Just a few suggestions to get you ready...

When you receive your Triple Threat DVD set, be sure to start with
the introduction on Disc One. I know this sounds like a real "duh",
but the DVDs are structured so that the lessons build on each
other. To get the most out of the program, start at the beginning
and take notes in your journal as you absorb the lessons.

You're going to get six DVDs PACKED with information (plus a lot of
bonus material). This is a LOT of powerful stuff.

I suggest watching one disc per day, and after watching each disc,
spend some time reviewing your notes afterwards. Block out a couple
of hours each day, when you won't have any outside distractions, and devote
it to this purpose.

The "pickup" scenarios demonstrated on Disc #3 are great...I even
brought in a couple of Playboy Magazine models to help assist...but
don't skip ahead to that disc!

It's important that you learn the lessons of Inner Game first.
That's going to give you the solid foundation you need to start
applying the pickup & conversation tactics.

Our warehouse is stocking only a limited number of copies of the
Triple-Threat DVD series, so be sure to make your purchase on
November 11 or soon afterwards. You'll see on the website that you
will also receive a number of incredible bonus products, free of
charge.

NO, I'm not going to try to scare you with them running out and
you'll miss it forever.

HOWEVER - this program could be put on back-order
if we sell out of the initial inventory. I don't want you having to
wait any longer than is absolutely necessary.

Thanks, and I look forward to sharing the Alpha Lifestyle: Triple
Threat
program with you.

It's going to change a lot of your beliefs
and perceptions about yourself and your goals...with women, and with
achieving the total Alpha lifestyle you deserve.

Remember, the greatest investment you can ever make is in yourself.

Go get on our advanced notification list HERE:
THE ALPHA LIFESTYLE PROGRAM: TRIPLE-THREAT


Your friend,

Carlos Xuma


PS: Get on the advanced notification list. I'm going to let those
people have first shot at getting the program on 11/11.

http://www.thealphalifestyle.com

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Here's a short tip for you...

The value of a newsletter you get from a dating guru is usually in INVERSE relation to the number of exclamation points you see in it. (!)

I get a lot of the newsletters from other "gurus" out there, and I am amazed at how much unnecessary hype there is.

Oh well.

That's just my opinion.

I could be wrong.

-CX

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Get That Porn Monkey Off Your Back...

I loved your book the Secrets of the Alpha Man. It has helped me stop being a nice guy and get in the motion of getting laid.

I enjoy your material I just need help with my problem...

Masturbation and Porn. There I said it.

I wanna stop but it seems I can't. Have any good advice?

I wanna be fully alpha cause when you are alpha you get respect.

Thank you
P. M.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Well, I've heard this question before in many different forms. It usually boils down to understanding what's going on in your head when you indulge in this kind of self-satisfaction.

Before I start, I want you to know that I'm not some kind of anti-porn nut. I see a possible use for it, but unfortunately most guys don't see just how damaging it is until it's too late.

Remember, I'm here to warn you and keep you on the path to REAL Alpha Manhood, not to let you slip into the behaviors that stop you from attracting the woman you want into your life.

You see, porn offers a bunch of PERCEIVED benefits. (I say 'perceived' because they are an illusion. The benefits are really a detriment, as we will see.)

Let's go through them:

1) Porn is a substitute girlfriend.

It's true. You get to live a fantasy experience with the hot, busty, lusty woman of your dreams. You even positively reward this habit with a nice little orgasm, thus reinforcing the habit. It becomes easy to relate the thought of porn to the quick and easy gratification.

2) Porn is much easier than getting a real girlfriend.

Just pop in your credit card number and you're ready to go. Besides, wouldn't you have just spent about the same amount of money for a date with a girl?

You get to choose tonight's girlfriend, with guaranteed payoff. How cool is that?

Plus you don't have any of that bothersome conversation or having to approach women.

And no possibility of rejection either.

3) Porn gives you the illusion of adequacy and power.

All these women behave in ways that present the illusion that they're your little supplicating love-toy. She'll say all the things you want to hear, including how BIG you are, and how HOT you are.

She fulfills all your imaginary desires.


Ultimately, though, you will create an addiction for yourself that leaves you feeling more and more hollow and alone.

Nothing in the world can substitute for the depth and emotional needs of a real relationship with a flesh and blood person.

Here's where porn falls short and kills your sex life in the long run:

1) Porn is a fantasy. It is not real.

And underneath that fantasy is a very hollow feeling of discontent - that you're settling for an illusion. But we stay in denial to get our short-term needs met.

Porn is a form of The Matrix, where you're plugged into a fantasy, and you're given the ILLUSION of control.

2) Porn distracts you from the very real need for interaction with REAL women in REAL social environments.

In fact, that you'll probably cripple yourself socially after just a few years of this habit. You won't know what to say to a woman beyond, "Yeah, baby, THAT'S the way you want it..."

Have you ever found yourself talking to a woman and trying to imagine her in those doggy-style positions?

It feels weird, doesn't it? Because part of you knows that the sexual fantasy is fine, and you can create a comfortable sexual relationship with a woman, but this image sometimes feels dirty and shameful up front.

3) Porn drains your willpower and energy by giving you quick rewards to your nervous system.

Remember that sexual energy is the life force of an Alpha Man. This is the power you channel into your creative exploits, your career, your exercise, and every area of your life.

By short-circuiting that drive, you kill the most powerful energy in the universe.

4) You learn no sexual expertise beyond pleasuring yourself.

The next time you're in bed with a woman, you'll be unable to form an authentic connection with her.

And even worse, you'll probably feel less competent because you've been in that fantasy world where you don't see yourself being as good-looking, well-hung, or as skilled with your hands as those guys are.

In fact, this habit tends to reduce men's stamina in bed when they come in contact with a real woman. They teach themselves how to ejaculate quickly because they're only in it for their own satisfaction.

5) Nothing feels as good as sex with a real flesh and blood woman.

No two ways about it, my friend. We pursue relationships in life because they allow us to magnify our emotional experience through the other person's participation with us.

Solo adventures will never feel as satisfying as the interaction you have with a person that stimulates your mind and engages you on all cylinders.

6) Porn will warp and distort your understanding and beliefs about women.

You'll start to believe that women only exist for sexual satiation and feeding your ego.

Eventually it numbs you to the point where sex seems mechanical and meaningless because there is no emotional connection or bond.

You even start to believe that you can only feel turned on for a woman with a set of 38 DDs, a bellybutton ring, and a Brazillian wax.

The reality is that real women are more fulfilling to be with than any bottle of lotion and fantasy movie from the sites you find online or the DVDs you can get from the adult store.


Look, let me be very honest with you: I used to watch porn on occasion. I had a roommate that had taped over 1000 hours of this stuff off satellite television. I once spent an entire weekend watching movies and ... well, you know. Draining my life force.

By Sunday night, I looked at the time and realized that I'd wasted all that time living someone else's fantasy. I was really just avoiding my own reality, and pissing away my life in the process.

In fact, this was the realization that turned into the pain I needed to stop this habit:

If I keep doing this, I'll end up a loser who can't do anything but shuck his own corn.
AND I'll probably wind up like a relative of mine that turned into a weird freak with retarded social skills.

Keeping that image in the front of my thoughts did wonders for my motivation. No more pulling out the VHS spank-fantasies. I just had to see that creepy guy that never quite developed a skill for talking with people and I got my determination back in an instant.

So the reality is that no one can MAKE you stop watching it. In fact, it's this kind of magical wishful thinking that will just leave you stranded in your fantasy land.

You have to CREATE a very painful experience for yourself to counter all the self-delusion that you use to keep using it.

Masturbation is fine.

Porn is fine.

OCCASIONALLY!

Anything taken to extremes can be unhealthy.

The way I use porn is as a creative "addition" to an already active sexual life. Porn should never be a substitute for it.

Here are a few steps to get rid of this nasty little porn monkey...

1) If you're subscribed to any sites online, get rid of all but one of them. (Eventually, get rid of them all.)

2) If you've got a few movies, fine. If you've got a collection of skin flicks that rivals the video rental place, it's time to put them up on e-bay, studpuppet.

3) Sit down with your Alpha Journal and tally up how much time you spend masturbating. Take a good look at that time and decide if that's an investment you want to make. If you could spend at least the same amount of time going out and improving your REAL skills with women, would that be a better time investment?

4) If you have any other porn-addicted buddies, take a cold analytical look at their social skills, and their abilities with women. Is this someone you want to end up like? Is that weird glazed look in their eyes something you want to have?

A porn addiction is no different really than an addiction to watching TV. You're living someone else's life, and cheating yourself out of living your own. You're wasting time and energy on something that doesn't improve you.

If you really want to cut down or cut out the fantasy sex life of porn, then you have to create two things:

1) The ability to visualize a very painful consequence to continuing the behavior, and

2) A worthwhile reward for the new lifestyle of real world interaction you want to obtain.

When you have both of those forces at work, you'll find it easier to motivate your change.

Every Alpha Man has to realize that a man's sex drive is something that must be channeled and diverted into other areas so that he actually ACCOMPLISHES something with his time on this planet.

You're here for a purpose, and when you dissipate all that previous sexual drive you have, you actually sabotage your own future.

If you want to learn more about how to create the life YOU want to lead, to get REAL women and REAL sexual satisfaction in your life, take a look at the complete Alpha Catalog by clicking HERE

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

An Alpha Male Success Story Comes From the Ashes -What Pickup Artists can't teach you

A STORY ABOUT WHAT "PICKUP ARTISTS" DON'T KNOW...

Hiya Carlos,

A year and some change ago, I found your ebook and it effectively changed my life. I got out of a terrible relationship (long-distance) that sapped my vitality, kick-started my ambition, and gained a confidence with women I never knew that I had ALWAYS possessed. Thank you.

Not only has my Alpha quest turned me into a better person, but I'm constantly becoming better because I am constantly finding new resources to improve both my game and my life as a whole.

As all men tempted by beauty are, I thought I could change things, though. I got into another long distance relationship (I know) and it made me extremely happy, but I had to end it due to the strains distance put on our relationship.

At the start of this week, things were looking AMAZING; a girl I had been interested in for quite some time was newly minted single, I was going to see my ex for some loving in two weeks at Thanksgiving, and I just got a job offer from Microsoft. In addition, I've been working on a novel for quite some time and got positive feedback from publishers this week. Yes!

The week, though young, has spiraled out of control; the girl I was interested in is getting back with her abusive ex, and the girl I dated informed me that she cheated on me. I know you're thinking 'get to the point Ken,' so I'll cut to the quick. This has not affected me at all.

The old Ken would have let this destroy his ability to get things done, but I am at peace and equilibrium. Much like the Way of the Samurai, the Way of the Alpha Man is not dictated by the vicissitudes of this world; true peace and harmony come from within.

I hope that you can use this story in some way to illustrate to alpha-men (and beta) everywhere that a man need not derive his sense of worth from women. Strength and courage to change the world come from within, not without.

Thanks again.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

This is the kind of message that cuts through to the core of what I teach.

You see, the guys running around learning only pickup artist techniques never really learn how to handle failure and build an Alpha Attitude of success and perseverance like this. They don't get the grass-roots improvement to their CHARACTER.

The truest lesson of your confidence is your ability to bounce back from a perceived "failure" and get back in the game.

It's not what happens to you in life that matters...

It's what you DO with it.

Ken's story is one of someone who GETS IT and will be a success no matter what.

Because he knows a great opener? Well, he probably has a few of those, but that's not why.

It's because he's got BUSHIDO...

The spirit of the warrior that every man must have to overcome hardship and excel in life.

Would you like to learn how to do what he did?

Then get the Secrets that most pickup artists will never be able to teach you...

CLICK HERE to Learn the Secrets

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, November 05, 2007

When Women Try to Humiliate You...

Hey Carlos,

Your audio coaching has been really helpful and have been making some progress ... a girl asked me out to dinner. [I'm] not going to be wussy and say yes but suggest something more fun like bowling.

Have a girlfriend now who is 12 years older than me and lives 3 hours away she is still hot though and is Russian, thing is she wants to take things further like moving in together and my work so I am using a little delay tactic.

Anyway onto a different issue was chatting to a girl at the train station whilst listening to your podcast and she asked what I was listened to I just said 'psychology' then she asked to listen and I said 'no you won't be able to handle it.'

Then she grabbed the ear phone and listened and laughed and said 'Are you trying to learn how to pick up on girls' and I said 'Told you that you wouldn't be able to handle it', I didn't get her number but we had a fun talk and my energy level went up and confidence for the next girl.

Let me know what you think about this and whether this seems like the right approach from your perspective.

Regards, Craig
______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

My guess is that you probably felt a little bit of embarrassment over the fact that you were listening to this and had to reveal it to her. She was testing you, and you gave the right OUTWARD response (your words), but I suspect she read your response as "I'm a little ashamed."

Remember that toxic shame is the killer in almost all of your interactions with women. It's the belief that other people's opinions really matter as much or more than your own.

Ask yourself these three questions:

1) Why did I let her listen in? Was it because I couldn't resist the demands of a woman?

2) Why did I feel weird about her hearing it...? (If you did.)

3) Why isn't it HER problem...?

After all, it probably seemed like she was mocking you at first, and then you probably felt a need to save face or recapture some dignity. If you felt that humbling impact in your conversation with her, then that's where the primary shift in beliefs needs to occur.

Your response is absolutely fine, but any response would work if you come from the right confidence and belief system.

You could easily have said (in a very fake wussy voice): "I'm trying to learn how to attract women because I just don't understand you females at ALL. (sigh)"

And play it for laughs.

When you can broadcast your own mockery and slight self-deprecation (without feeling it on the inside), you'll find yourself really broadcasting a new level of Alpha Power.

In fact, I tell you how to build this Alpha Power here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Get rid of your Porn Addiction

I just posted my special report on Porn Addiction

I get a lot of email from guys asking me about porn addiction, and - more importantly - how to quit their porn addiction.

Look, every guy likes to look at porn at some time or another, and there's nothing wrong with that. The problem with porn addiction comes when we can no longer control it, and the addiction comes as a way to compensate for our own lack of a real Alpha Sex life.

So go read my latest newsletter on Porn Addiction and the ways that it sabotages your Alpha Lifestyle.

How to Kick Your Porn Addiction

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, November 03, 2007

How would you like to get online coaching? DIRECT to you.

Do you love all the advice you have been getting in this blog?

I know you're finding this path incredibly life-changing and you know it works...
but for some peculiar reason you haven't been able to put into practice
anywhere nearly as much as you know you can.

Why?

Well, one of the biggest reasons is not having enough leverage...
simply not having enough driving force toward executing this information.

Wouldn't it be great if you had a team of experts trained by Carlos
Xuma himself following you along every step and making SURE that
you're implementing these strategies properly?

Ever wondered how Hollywood celebrities manage to get a killer body for a blockbuster
movie in just 4-6 months of training when people in your gym look
the same year after year? There is only one major secret to this
feat... it's called having a "personal trainer".

Imagine having that in your own love life. A person who will mind
your progress for you, tell you exactly what to do when and how to
best execute the next step. When to try out a new strategy and when
to keep on excercising the old one.

Can you imagine how much this would speed up your progress?
A hundred-fold? A thousand times faster? Well, i'm going to leave the
imagination part to you, as our duty is simply making the best damn NetCoaching
program on the planet. We have the best instructors on the planet on this program
and they're dedicating themselves full-time to YOUR personal
success.

Here's how it works:

- If you are granted access to this program, you get to meet the
trainer in a private, secured internet location
- You share your background, current challenges and goal with the
trainer
- The trainer then proceeds to guide you on a daily one-on-one
basis until you've reached your goals


Now, I know you're thinking this is going to cost an arm and a leg
to boot, but you'd be very surprised. The net coaching team over at
"Perfect Seducer" has been testing out the NetCoaching concept (using
the finest of Carlos Xuma technology) for several months now, and
it is finally ready to start unleashing this onto the public.

We are currently running a test program and we're only going to have
capacity for exactly 6 people.

No this is not a fancy-shmancy marketing trick, we really do only currently
have the capacity for NO MORE than 10 people...

That's the bad news, I can't guarantee you'll get in.

The good news is that you most definitely will like
the price if you do make the first cut. The price of having your very own
personal coach pushing and guiding you to the best possible sex
life is... are you ready for this? It's going to cost you about the price
of 2 fast food meals per week!

The NetCoaching service is going to priced at just 15$ per week
(billed monthly). I know you all want in on this, but this is only for the 6
people we choose for this initial pre-launch. There's no telling
how we're going to price it when go wide open with this.

Click here to find out more

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, November 02, 2007

Are you in the SF Bay Area? See Carlos Tonight!

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

Carlos Xuma will be appearing at OneTaste SF here in San Francisco TONIGHT from 7-9:00 PM.

Alpha Social Games: Handling Communication, Conversation, & Persuasion
Carlos Xuma

FOR MEN ONLY
Learn about the challenges of persuasive communication - and how to be an effective communicator. You’ll learn about your own communication style, what’s holding you back, and how to improve in all the vital areas of effective conversation and persuasion.

We'll be covering social games that people play, and how to manage as well as WIN them...

You can pre-register for the event here:
http://onetastesf.com/ot/ot_calendar/index.php?p=register&id=232&t=connected

Hurry as it's the last few hours before the program. The address to the location is below.

Registrations are welcome at the door as well!

See you tonight...


- Carlos Xuma & Co.
http://onetastesf.com/ot/ot_calendar/index.php?p=register&id=232&t=connected

One Taste San Francisco
1074 Folsom Street
San Francisco, CA 94103
Phone: (415) 503-1100

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, November 01, 2007

A question I get from time to time...

QUESTION:

Why can't I order your Alpha Man program without the Advanced Coaching?

You would sell much more products if you gave people the option...

- John M.
______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

For those of you that are not aware, you get several free monthly sessions of my Advanced Coaching program free with most of my programs. From time to time, however, some guys don't understand the value in the program.

Hey, if you don't want MORE value for your money, that is always your prerogative. However, the guys who have received the Advanced Coaching program LOVE IT.

Don't take my word for it. You can read the rave reviews here:
Advanced Coaching Reviews

This program is the most effective way to ensure that your new dating and attraction skills STICK. Most guys who buy an ebook or a program tend to fall back into bad habits. But not when you receive regular motivation and instruction directly from me to you.

Besides, you can cancel the Advanced Coaching when you're done with paying for your program and you won't owe another penny. (But we're betting you won't want to after you receive the video, audio and bonus ebooks you'll receive.)

Even if I thought I'd sell fewer programs by not including it (which I don't believe to be the case), I would still include it because it's the right thing to do.

I'm not just bent on making a buck off every guy. I need to pay the bills and feed the dog, but I'm not greedy. (Hey, none of my programs cost $2000.)

The long and short of it is that you get MORE program with NO RISK. The fact is that no one else out there gives you the value, and the heart and soul that I do in every one of my programs.

Don't let fear stop you from getting what you want. Don't let your hang-ups talk yourself out of improving the quality of your dating life.

Go for what you want in life. THINK BIG.

And I'd love to hear from the hundreds of guys on this program just how well you're doing with it. Send in your feedback HERE. I'll post your comments...


- Carlos Xuma

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men