First off I wanted to say thanks for the dating advice, when I first came across your podcasts I was kind of weird about taking advice like this, but now I am really glad I did. I really enjoy the podcast because it is really making me start to think about how people look at me - not only women. I want to try to change the way that I was looked at - I dont want to look like one of those stupid dudes that will bend over and take it in the ass just to be with a good looking girl.
So now for my problem hopefully you can help me.
I am 22 years old, I am a pretty good looking tall skinny guy. I am having a real hard time meeting cute girls out here. When I see a cute girl I am starting to become pretty comfortable with starting a conversation. Where the issue starts is that I am what you call "straight edge." I have chosen to lead a life of drug and acohol abstinence. so I just dont really like the idea of dating a girl that is a total bar girl. it just doesn't make any sense for me to meet girls at a place that is based on something that I am pretty against... I am not saying I wouldn't date someone who drinks on occasion but I dont want an avid bar-goer.
The other thing is that I work in a hot rod shop, I build custom cars. well if you have ever been into cars you know that the real hardcore shops generaly dont have too many women around...!
...Basically what I am getting at is that from 7:30 am to 5pm Monday thru Friday is for-sure woman-free, and then I don't really go to bars and clubs ... and thats where most girls here go to meet guys. so when I do meet a woman how do I maximize my time since chances are I won't have long to talk... If you have any suggestions as to where I could meet more women that would be awsome!
You hit something right on the head that I think a lot more guys should pay attention to: If you don't like or don't want the girls you meet at bars - DON'T GO TO BARS TO MEET THEM!
I'm astounded at the number of guys that go to bars to meet women, then discover that most of the girls there are really not there to meet guys as much as they are to have a fun time, and then they cry to me about the fact that they're not meeting any quality women.
The great realization here is that even though bars a great warm market, they're NOT
where I go to meet women I want to date.
Yes, you heard that right.
Carlos avoids bars for finding women.
Yes, I can hear the cries from the audience: Then how the hell did you ever get mad skills with women, Carlos?
My skill in approaching and attracting women came from the fact that I didn't solely use any one place to meet women. You have to use the WORLD
as your playpen, my Alpha Brothers. If you're doing anything else, you're actually programming your nervous system to AVOID picking up women and approaching
, and your game will suffer over the long term.
I meet women at parties
I meet women at clubs
I meet women at restaurants
I meet women at stores
I meet women at shows
The fact of the matter is that I honestly believe that there is NOWHERE
you can go without meeting women
And that's part of the secret to my Alpha Attitude
. (If you want to learn the whole secret, go HERE
But for you, being on the "straight edge," as you call it, is not such a bad thing, Andy. In fact, it's ONLY
bad if YOU
don't believe in it!
I've found that women are actually MORE
attracted to me and MORE
interested in me when I was very frank and earnest with them.
(By the way, I'm always frank and earnest with women. In California, I'm Frank; in Nevada, I'm Ernest.)
Seriously, when I put my personal choices out there - with strength and conviction
, not apologetically - women were way into it! Never fails. Because she knows you're coming from a place of strength and conviction, which is something that most guys these days don't have.
So if you don't want a party/bar-girl, then don't meet women there. (But it's been my experience that there are quite a few women who go to bars that aren't what you'd call "bar girls.")
Where are the women you want to meet?
Here are a few ideas:
. One of the best pickup places on the planet, and it's even sanctioned by God. How's that for an endorsement!
. Choose the qualities you want from a catalog of women that you'll never run out of.
. Your best bet is to go to places that you
like to go to, and then talk to the women that are there.
I don't know what in the world your work has to do with NOT
getting women. Chicks would f*cking LOVE
to hear about a guy with a job you have. What you perceive as a negative or an obstacle is actually a great opportunity for conversation, my friend. USE IT.
Don't give me a lot of rubbish about being at work X to Y o'clock every day, either. Go out on your lunch.
Before work, go to Starbucks. After work, go to Starbucks.
Before you go home at night, go shopping and meet the clerks and women at the mall.
There are TOO
many places to meet women.
What you're REALLY
saying to me is that you don't have any places to go that are RISK FREE
. You don't have any EASY
places to meet women.Tough titty said the Cat to the Kitty, but the milk is still good...
Don't ask me where the hell I got that one. But it seems appropriate here.
behavior that is not directly related to getting your ass outside and in places where you can meet women is just an EXCUSE
. It's your way of letting yourself off the hook from doing the "work" of meeting women.
If you knew how many women were waiting for guys to introduce themselves, you wouldn't talk yourself out of all the opportunities you most surely are.
And most guys don't approach because they haven't got the SKILLS
to APPROACH WOMEN
. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT
. Discover the secret methods to approach women with no fear of rejection.