SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:Hey, I have a question for you.
I just went though this messy breakup with my girlfriend two days ago
over a stupid argument. We still talk sometimes but she is usually
distant in the conversations. Im intrested in getting her back but I
don't know how to go about this.
In the past, chasing the ex girlfreind and acting depressed out of a breakup always ended in failure. So there is no way in hell im going to do that again and screw this up. The thing is... im not really sure on how to go about this. So far, i've been
trying to be upbeat and aloof around her and people she knows. Do you
have any rules or guidlines to go about getting back together with an
ex? Right now my situation is pretty tricky as I don't have a place I
normaly see her so the only ways I can talk to her is by the phone or
messenger on the computer. I haven't messaged her recently because I
wanted to get her some space.
Any advice would be appreciated greatly
Well, I've become something of an expert at reading between the lines in emails.
And, from what you're saying, you're definitely getting the right idea. Acting all sulky and down about losing a girl only cements in her mind why you two broke up.
You didn't say who broke up with whom, but I'm going to guess that she broke up with you. If so, that's a bad thing. She's not going to want to go back on her decision. It messes too much with her sense of independence and good judgment.
So you better have a good and convincing case for her return. Don't make promises that you've "changed" or any of that crap.
You also realized that space is the thing to do. If you crowd her now, she'll pull away forever.
I'd suggest you call her up and tell her that you want to meet her for coffee to talk about something you have in mind. ABSOLUTELY DO NOT TELL HER WHAT IT IS ON THE PHONE.
Her curiosity will provoke her to meet with you, and there you can proceed to:
A) Charm her - be a gentleman - CONFIDENT
B) Make her laugh - If you don't get her cheerful inside, she won't entertain the thought of a return
C) Don't make any promises or overtures to "get back together." Just move in on her and woo her a little. Throw a little romance on her. Flirt with her.
D) Hint that you MAY have made a mistake. As if YOU are the one who is thinking about MAYBE getting back with her again. You want to see how she reacts. If she pulls away, she's not that interested in trying again. If she warms to the idea, she's probably been thinking about it, too.
E) Take your freakin' time! Go slow.
Oh, and start making plans in case you're now a single guy. Start talking to other women and easing yourself back into the game. Cover yourself and prepare a plan for recovery.