Tuesday, January 31, 2006

NEWS:



By the time you read this, Session 29 will be available for
download...

This month is PACKED with great stuff, including dating secrets on:

PERSONAL STYLE - SEDUCTION TYPES - Which kind of seducer are you? How to leverage your natural skills for attraction, the description of the primary 9 types with various strengths and weaknesses explained, the most effective type of strategy, and more ...

FIELD REPORT - Another review of real approaches and interaction in the field, how to banter with the wait staff, the mindset of an Alpha Approacher, Interview Method, Examples of testing, Corona Attitude Girls, The Double Dose strategy to cement you in a woman's mind after the number close, The hidden blow-off line that women want you to hear... and more...

FRAME CONTROL - Understanding Frames, the three Frame Strategies, Women to watch out for, the Frame Skill that allows you to trade places with her and get past her tests, The part of your frame that a woman cannot control, the social programming at work, How to do effective role reversals, How to steal a woman's frame, and more ...

THE COLD CALL EXERCISE - A proven exercise to get you over your fear of approaching - with no rejection, Social Rules and Barriers, the psychology of our fear of strangers, live examples, and more ...

THE ANTI-SEDUCER - The habits and behaviors that sabotage at traction with women, The 8 Anti-seduction types and their qualities, How to recognize the traits, and more...

SPEED DATING GUIDE - A complete run-down of how and why you need to leverage this method of meeting women, how to handle problem personalities, inside tips on how to get the most interest from women at the events and more ...

ATTRACTION METHODS AND STRATEGIES - Review of the essential steps to get women interested in you, The Valley Girl method, The Exasperation Technique, Fake complaints strategy, How to tease effectively, Getting energy going in your interactions, The Advanced "Inside Joke" method of demonstrating supreme self
confidence, Kino gambits - and MUCH more...

BONUS: New Ebook with articles from C.J. Chandler, Carlos' exclusive female advisor with additional tips and exercises ...

Grab it here:
http://www.datingdynamics.com/audioprogsub.htm

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

ALPHA MALE QUESTION



Carlos,

One other quick question. I have had the same scenario hit twice this last weekend from two gals. Both scenarios further validate to me everything that you teach... Is there a decent response to the women making statements like "I like strong men" and "I don't like passive men"?

Obviously, when they make a statement I can't dodge a question by saying "why do you ask" because they made a statement of course but I understand her test.

If I let the remark go without saying anything than I feel like she will assume that I am the passive guy but if I try to defend my Alpha Man traits than she will either drop me in the "controlling bucket" or assume that I am just another wimp trying to sound like an Alpha Male.

What to do?

Thanks again,

R
--------

CARLOS:

The question is never "what should I do" but "What would an Alpha Man do?"

Once you get into this mindset, you can start to envision what that kind of man would do in a given situation. You shouldn't just imagine, either. You should INHABIT that frame of thinking.

That means that you become what you think about.

As for your statement re: if you say nothing, she will think X...

You assume too much.

Saying nothing is a perfectly valid response - if done correctly.

However, what I believe an Alpha would say (since it's the first thing that comes to my mind):

HER: "I like strong, assertive men."

ME: "That's nice, Jennifer, but what do you have to offer that kind of man in return?"

OR

ME: "Good thing you ran into me, isn't it?"


That's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

But probably not. :-)

But if you really want to know how the Alpha Man approaches these situations, you should look into my Secrets of the Alpha Man Program...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, January 29, 2006

SASSY QUESTION:



Hey Carlos,

I just recently received your cd's. God bless your sassy ass! This is the shit I've been missing! NOW it all makes sense to me.

I don't really expect this to end up in a newsletter, but I wanted to discuss with you something interesting.

My local bar is a dive. The women there are 5's at best. However there is this one who shows up who is a 7 or 8. I've been fun and confident around her and then blown her off. She seems to be intrigued, so this push pull thing is working.

But this letter is really about the social dynamics of the bar. Because I'm a regular and people know me--when I walk in it's like Norm walking into Cheers with, "TRIBAAAL"--so I've established myself as a "dog in the running". It seems that since I've got this Alpha Aura now, a pecking order gets established.

The more confident dudes try to "belly up" and get into razzing each other. Like young bucks knocking heads. The women all whisper about me when I enter, and the Beta cats try to be my friend, offering me their favorite pool cue or buying me drinks. All in all trying to establish their existence by being next to me. It's kinda weird how close to a pack mentality we humans really are.

Have you ever witnessed this in your experiences?

Just a thought.

~T
------
CARLOS:


Well, I've never had my ass described as 'Sassy' before, that's for sure.

Perhaps you should stay off that topic entirely. :)

TO answer your question, I see this ALL THE TIME. Guys are always sucking my kneecaps for attention when I rule the roost. I've even had one guy try to lure me out to an ambush because he felt so emasculated.

The thing a lot of people don't realize (especially the more "new age" thinking) is that the search for these frontiers of Pure White Love is great. Go for it.

But the reality is that we're all a lot closer to the pack dogs than we like to admit.

Guys do behave with this kind of Alpha/Beta mentality. It's hardwired into our genes, and all the wishing in the world won't make this any different.

I'm not saying you shouldn't aspire to more than this behavior, but you better have a good understanding of it, because it's the common denominator in all social dynamics, as I explain thoroughly in the Secrets of the Alpha Man program.

So when you've got the understanding and skills in these social situations, you wind up with the situation you're talking about, where the pack looks up to the lead dog.

That's you, my man... Enjoy it!

If you really want to see some complex social dynamics, watch how Tony Soprano holds court in "The Sopranos." He has an innate understanding of this dynamic and works it to his advantage at every turn.

Oh, and if you don't have it, and you're wondering right now how to be the Alpha Man, you should take a look at my Alpha Man Program.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, January 28, 2006

FEEEEEED ME!


Dear Carlos:

Congratulations on your work.

I have a question.

While on dates, in restaurants, I have noticed that often a woman will offer to give me or even feed me some of her food.

From a woman's perspective,what does this mean?And what is she trying to communicate?Should I accept or reject the food?

Second,should I also offer some of my food to her in return?

---------------
CARLOS:

This is a great question...

When a woman offers you some of her food, she's doing several things:

1) Extending trust - She wouldn't share it with you if she wasn't feeling some connection

2) Being hospitable - If she's feeling comfortable, she'll also want to oblige you with a taste - especially if you're the one paying. (I've noticed this quite frequently when I was the one paying for the grub...)

3) Some would say she's sharing her sustenance as a primal gesture of connection - kind of like "you brought home the hunt, let's share." I don't know if I'd go that far, but it COULD mean interest on her part.

Mostly, it's a good sign. Most women wouldn't share if they were feeling negatively about you. Just don't read too much into it. Not everything is a signal.

And, yes, share the food. Reciprocity is good policy.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, January 26, 2006

This was sent over to my buddy Cliff of Cliff's list fame. It made my morning and it just affirms what we're trying to do here. I post to that newsletter frequently, and it's nice to see that people appreciate my work...


Cliff, it's been a while (hope you had a great holiday!) but I just wanted to tell you that I am really impressed by Carlos Xumos's writing on your list! The guy obviously KNOWS his stuff inside and out! Plus, add to that the fact that he writes in a clear and humourous way that powerfully gets his points across!

Bottom-line? His posts pack real, genuine VALUE! I like how he keeps his posts focused on the subject at hand (as opposed to regaling us with tales about himself like some are given to do). This guy seems to have one purpose and that is to do his level best to help others improve their PU skills!

I didn't see any ads or put-downs of other PU businesses or how we will learn EVERYTHING if only we come to his latest seminar! No! He just used the space given on your list to teach, inform and educate! I hope you have this guy on a more regular basis! Believe me, he's one of the absolute (if not the) best I've seen yet on your list!

Keep Up the Good Work Cliff,
Mike

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

MORE SCARCITY



Hey how’s it going Carlos,

I just want to say that I think you are doing a great thing for the advancement
of men. It's all about self improvement. As I'm sure you already know
knowledge is power. And the more experiences you have and learn from helps
make you become more familiar and knowledgeable with the information you
use...regardless of what it is. Repetition is the key to successful learning.

Anyways though, the reason why I wrote you was b/c no matter how many women you
pick up, every person deep down somewhere can always foreshadow on their "one
true love." Either the one they never made a connection with, or the one that
never quite worked out. It's all about timing. We all play different roles in
different times and situations throughout our lives. Think about it.

All I'm saying is that yea picking up all these women is wonderful, but is it
truly MEANINGFUL? I guess it all depends on ones perspective. Just remember
your perception becomes your reality. In my opinion, planning, communication,
and negotiation are the key ingredients to a successful relationship. I mean
what's the point of getting involved in a relationship that is going nowhere?

I hate to say it but people’s values and morals now a days have gone down the
drain. We have too much freedom now a days. There is no order or discipline.
Today there are more divorces and single mothers than ever before. And the
scary thing is that it's going to get worse! I just wish people would use
their brain, and truly think about what they are doing and saying before they
act. They sure would be making smarter decisions, instead of being so
arrogant.

We all live and we all die...but it's what we do with our TIME on this Earth
that's important. Time management is the key ingredient to enjoying Life. I
say do the things you enjoy and never hold anything back. Regret is a wasted
motion. Just remember "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."

If you have any thoughts or comments I’d appreciate it. Keep up the good work
Carlos.

------------
CARLOS:


Thanks for the props...

I'd like to make a correction, though:

Knowledge is NOT power.

Knowledge is POTENTIAL power.

ACTION is real power.

And the two together totally ROCK.

I don't see any questions in your letter, per se, but you do re-state what I've been saying for some time now. Men need to do this work from the inside out.

That's what the Alpha Man program is all about.

But I feel that I have a more optimistic opinion about our future. I think there will be another backlash of guys who are going to see what's happening and re-claim their balls.

I think women will grumble a little, but they'll celebrate it when the quality of their relationships goes up a hundred fold. And they don't need to divorce their wuss husbands because he finally had the operation he needed: and Add-a-pair-to-me.

I don't think that people realize that we are still living in the BEST TIMES ever for human kind.

The only reason we think anything different is because the MEDIA tells us we should be scared of terrorists and big bird flu, and freak catastrophes.

I was watching the "news" online, and one of the sites actually thought the horrible death of 7 people in a fiery automobile crash was news. It's a tragedy, terrible.

But why did they think this was more important than the other things happening in the world? Why aren't they covering the people working in other countries to help the poor or starving?

Oh, that's right, it's not exciting enough. Not dark enough.

We're living in the most affluent, progressive, technologically advanced, knowledge sharing time of our entire species.

This is the best of times, not the worst. It's not Utopia, but we have it better than you think.

A LOT better. Be thankful you're not dodging bullets in Bagdad. Or scraping a meal of termites out of a rotting log.

Thankfulness, by the way is gratitude, which is not scarcity. It's appreciation for abundance.

Oh, and I don't buy that "one true love" horseshit. That's a fairy tale myth, not reality. We all have MANY true loves out there.

But when men only have about 4 or 5 long term relationships before they SETTLE for the first woman who will sleep with him and come back, most don't get a fair shake at finding one of them.

There are MANY women out there that will be a true love for you. All the more reason to be sure to sample more from the buffet than the salad bar.

Don't fall into scarcity thinking. It's the sure path to the Dark Side.

I'm more thankful every day I wake up with all my teeth, my ability to walk, and there's still a lot of lead in my pencil.

Don't fall into the trap of scarcity thinking. Time management IS a very important skill, and one that I cover in the Secrets of the Alpha Man, as well as the Advanced Audio Coaching.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

DOWN IN THE DUMPS:



I just got back to school for a new semester and I am finding that I'm not as enthused about it as when I first came out here. It's like so many peope have this opinion of me from last semester. I recently grew a beard and these girls who I'm friends with criticized it from the moment they saw me again, saying it makes me look thin and creepy...it pissed me off.

This other girl I had sex with last semester lives down the hall from me. She has a boyfriend now and won't even acknowledge me when I walk by...it kinda bothers me. I don't think this semester is off to a great start...any advice?
----------
CARLOS:

Don't buy into the frame of "everything is going wrong." That's letting a bunch of false indicators bring you down so that everything will go badly.

1. Get my Alpha Man Program. Your sensitivity to criticism tells me that you need to get back to work on yourself and boost your own confidence.

2. Ask yourself WHY these things are bothering you. By allowing your impulse, knee-jerk emotional reactions to affect you, you are losing control of your own state. Your thoughts are your own. Your mood follows your thoughts, so control your thoughts.

3. Go out and meet ten new people as soon as possible. The more people you have in your life, the less you let the barbs and stings of a few get to you.

Bottom line: You're letting other people's frames disturb your own. You need to feel comfortable about yourself REGARDLESS of external opinion.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

WIN HER BACK UNIVERSAL LETTER:



"Carlos, the dating black book was excellent and it is already helping me attract more woman.I sent you a email on the alpha mail website website and only realised when I sent it that you said send here.Im attracting woman but the problem is I still want my ex and I would like you to send me a gameplan.

I can get other woman and I have but its her I want. When I was seeing her in the summer she was texing me about 40 times daily, ringing me, emailing and I didnt care less and that made her worse but in the end she met somebody else.Anyway he was a control freak always ringing her and she dumped him. She later found out he cheated on her anyway as have all of her previous boyfriends.She still text me when she was with him but this time I responded telling her how I felt and then she whent cool on me.

I can guarantee if I dont call her or text for a week she will call me. Its when I respond and call and text her back that she goes cool on me.I didnt reply to her text xmas eve and she emailed me dec 29 asking why I didnt reply.I told her phone was switched off as I was aving no strings fun with a woman.

She then said she had a good think and she wanted to meet new year for a drink.I agreed, rang her and now im not hearing anything again.I feel like im going round in circles. I really want to get back with her so wat do you suggest I do. A few tips please.

Thank you. Yours sincerely. A.N., England (UK)

--------------
CARLOS:


I am now resorting to the use of a generic form letter to respond to this situation.

Not because I'm trying to be insensitive, or generic about this. Mostly because the answer is almost always the same.

The question of how to get back an ex-girlfriend or win back some woman you messed it up with previously is a bad path to follow for the following reasons:

1)

You will never have the credibility you should with someone you've messed it up with. If, by some stroke of incredible technique you actually manage to get her back, she'll always be testing you, pushing your buttons, trying to see if you are for real. In the end, you'll wind up being a whipped pu ssy of a man, reduced to jumping through hoops, constantly trying to curry her favor. Don't do it.

2)

You'll spend 10% of the energy on simply finding a NEW woman that you start things off RIGHT with. Why drive yourself crazy, risk stalking her, and otherwise turn yourself into a toad of a man to win back something you never really had? Do it right the first time.

3)

By resorting to go back to a woman you once pursued, you're demonstrating a scarcity mindset. You are further reinforcing that you somehow cannot meet any of the other 2.8 Billion Women on this planet and must now recycle. Think bigger. (And this woman you're pursuing will sense your desperation and pull away even faster because of it.)

4)

You are probably in the heat of delusion, thinking that this woman is somehow the "one" for you, and there is no other woman like her. The reality is that there are MILLIONS of women like her. Your desperation and insecurity are simply blinding you to options. Go out and meet 20 new women (for real, not half-heartedly) and I'll guarantee you that you won't think the same anymore. She's like a snowflake: unique and special - JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!

You'll further destroy what little self-dignity and confidence you have by continuing to travel down this spiral chute to hell.

MOVE ON!

Ironically, if you are to ever stand a chance of getting her back, this is the only way to do it. Only by demonstrating the ability to get on with your life will she ever find you attractive again.

As demonstrated by your behavior, when you stay away from her, she suddenly wants what she cannot have. This is her mental illness, not yours.

Go out and find a few new women to make your primaries and you'll discover that women like this are nothing more than a cute annoyance. The way they should be. Let her go infect some other guy with her hot/cold routine.

But I can help you find the confidence you've lost and get you on the path to a new and better relationship...

I created the Alpha Man program just for this situation. It will rebuild your self-esteem higher than it was before.

Better. Stronger. Faster...!

Go download the e-book right now...
http://www.alphaseduction.com



alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, January 22, 2006

GIVE THE GIFT OF YOU



Hey Carlos, at what point and particularly when in a relationship(s) should gifts be presented besides, birthdays, valentines, anniversaries or special events, is it wise to give gifts of -high value- randomly?

Should it be three months? Or before?

-------------
CARLOS:


Here are some of my gift-giving rules:

1) Never give to get. Give because you want to give to someone, not because you're hoping to obligate them to some artificial connection in the future.

2) Don't give too many gifts in the beginning. In fact, almost none at first. It comes across as far too needy.

3) Give randomly. Gifts that aren't expected have the most impact. Let's face it, if you're going to share your feelings (and your income) you might as well get the most bang for the buck. Give to her in such a way that she feels the most for it.

As long as you can look in your heart and honestly say that you're NOT giving gifts out of the "wuss" impulse, which is when you give to PROVE your feelings to her, or in the hopes that it will make her want you more.

You give to a woman so she can truly appreciate having YOU in her life.


Get it?

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, January 20, 2006

CHEATING



Every so often I read something that makes me scratch my head. This is one that used to bother me a while back, but then I realized the fault in the logic.

The situation is this:

Boy meets girl who's got a boyfriend. They mess around. Guy asks me if he should pursue it with her.

Now most "gurus" out there tell you that you shouldn't, and even if you do start a relationship with her, you'll always know she's a cheater.

Well, let's be honest here:

Cheating isn't a character trait. It's an EVENT.

It's also an event that was probably helped along by the guy being a total CHUMP and not being an Alpha.

Meaning that she may lack the self-esteem to break it off with someone before she's found another guy, but this is a common problem with women. Especially younger women who don't feel "whole" unless they've got a guy.

So the whole, "she's a cheater, and you'll never be able to trust her" thing really doesn't wash with me.

In fact, I'd bet that over 80-90% of all women (and men, for that matter), have cheated. The other 10-20% are either lying or are in denial.

The chick you just went out with? She has cheated in the past. It doesn't mean she'll cheat in the future, but it's not like the Scarlet Letter, and a person should be branded for life.

Most women overlap their relationships a little. And they rationalize it away like you wouldn't believe. So if you were to ask, you'd get HER definition of the truth.

HIM: "Have you ever cheated on anyone before?"
HER: "I almost did once, but I stopped before anything happened."

TRANSLATION: "I went down on him in his car, but I felt bad, so I stayed away from him and didn't ever tell anyone. That makes it not cheating. I learned this from a certain ex-president."

Quite a clever re-defining of "before anything happened", huh?

There are three sides to every story: Yours, mine, and the truth.

But for some very obvious reasons, it's very taboo to reveal or talk about your past cheating. It smacks of "adultery." (When I was a kid, I always thought that was a stupid term, and I still do now.)

The reality is that cheating is exciting. It's illicit. It's dirty.

And it feels so bad, and so good at the same time. Hey, we're all weak.

If she's genuinely interested in you, just set the condition that she needs to break it off with the old one before you'll start with her.

I did this once in the past and it worked fine. She was faithful.

Everybody cheats. I bet YOU have.

Get over it.

The way to cure cheating from a woman is to be so damn Alpha, she'll be chasing you the whole time she's with you. And she'll love you for it until the day you die.

The secret to happiness, as the wise have said, is to learn how to want what you already HAVE.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

WEEPY "ROMANTIC" CRAP:



Hi Carlos,

this is just an aside related around music videos and the message that is blasted out to men and women everywhere.

This song, which I hear every morning when my clock radio goes off disturbs me on so many levels. It is apparently #1 on the local radio station, and I for the life of me, can not figure out why!

Artist: James Blunt
Song: 'You're Beautiful'
Album: Back to Bedlam
http://us.video.aol.com/video.full.adp?pmmsid=1368632

Now that i have seen the video, i don't know what to say! This song is neither sad or romantic, it is disturbing.

Well, just had to voice my 2 cents to someone that would have an appreciation for the various messages that are blasted at us.

I think something that would be interesting would be a list of movie scenes and music videos that show classic, male alpha behaviour... Those cheesy and not so cheesy, that show poise and good body positioning.

Something that you could through out there, onto your blog, possibly use to market your various up coming dvd's.

formally shy but now a cute ass chaser.

:)

Take care,

C
----------

CARLOS:

Yeah, this video was disturbing to me, too, and I think I know exactly why:

1) It implies that this guy is committing suicide or some great self-less act because he'll never get this woman he's singing about. His actions during the video scream "I'M A NEEDY LOSER!" so loud that I can't hear what he was singing.

2) Okay, I did hear a little of what he was crying about in his video. The lyrics imply that A) He is yet another stooge that can only fall in love with unavailable women, thus relieving him of the responsibility of going out and getting what he wants. And B) That women are to be adored as priceless fragile items of beauty.

(In fact, he didn't even lip-sync his own words all that well. The emphasis was all wrong. And he really needs to wash his hair.)

(Wait, I'm not done being critical. He needs to go to the gym and work out, and then get in touch with his inner MAN. He wrote this song to all the women he never managed to get laid by. He just quietly lurked around corners hoping for her to come over to him, or he just plotted ways to kill her boyfriends.)

I say, Love women. Don't worship them.

If you watch this video, remember that this is a classic example of a wuss in action.

I don't want to catch any of you Alpha Men out there putting this song on a compilation CD for some chick you're trying to nab. I'll find you!

As for Alpha Examples, I'm currently in the process of putting that together. If you guys search, you'll find my Alpha Heavy Metal compilation that you can get from iTunes.

My first suggestion: Watch every James Bond movie out there. Then all 3 of the Indiana Jones movies.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, January 19, 2006

SOME GUYS WILL GET IT, SOME WON'T:



Hi Carlos

I never had a problem with (attracting) women, yet I didn’t know what I was doing. It was just a natural process for me. In other words, I could explain to my friends how to go through the steps smoothly. In some cases, I didn’t get the response I was expecting from the woman that I am dealing with which makes me to think what went wrong. Fortunately, I purchased your e-book awhile a go and it was one of the valuable possessions that I purchased.

The way you explained was, to be honest, Amazing. Powerful. Unbelievable. Incredible…I can go on and on whole day. I don’t have any words to describe your ideas. In a nutshell, I couldn’t agree more since it worked for me for my whole life.


I know, Carlos, that you have one of the most challenging jobs in the world. To put it bluntly, most guys, and I can say 99 % of guys, wont agree with your ideas since what you are telling them is beyond the logic. For instance, I tried to teach your ideas one of my friends (To be the man. To be a challenge. To show that you are desirable. To be a fun person. To show the door any women who is trying to play with you…etc) and he respond, “What you are saying is contrary to the common sense.”

Then I call one of the waiters in the restaurant and I told her exactly what I told him. To his surprise she said, “Even though I am guilty of this, what you are saying is absolutely true and it is what attracts us.” She added, “My boyfriend is a very strong and challenging person. He puts me my place when I act like a brat and he is nice when he feels like it. He is a part time jerk and really love him.” Yet my friend couldn’t comprehend it.

Therefore, I really admire you dedication of helping and saving men. Every man who understands your teachings would say, THANK YOU MILLION TIMES FOR YOUR HELP. I swear to you, most men don’t know what they are missing.
-------

CARLOS:


Precisely... and if any of those guys out there who don't get it want to put their egos aside and learn it, they can understand by reading about THIS

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

A little note from CJ on "Sizing Up..."


-------

I am not offended when a man stands close to me and unapologetically looks me down and up. The key is he has to do it with confidence and panache.

Most often, men will start their assessment at a woman’s feet; he slides his gaze over her legs to her tummy, lingers a bit on her breasts, up to her neck, and finally her face. When a guy checks me out and finally meets my gaze that is my chance to quickly assess him.

If he cannot make eye contact with me it could be an indication that he is shy, intimidated, or is hiding something. He has just a few seconds to make an impression on me. If he wavers in his confidence or can’t hold my gaze, (this isn’t a stare down) my interest will diminish- even if he’s drop dead gorgeous. In fact, sad but true, the better looking the guy, the more he has to hold up to intense female scrutiny.

Women on the other hand, are much more demure when they check out a man. I always start at a guys face, and pause on his eyes and his lips; I will then go directly to his chest, to quickly check out his build.

My next intake is his clothes, shoes, and accessories (I am looking for a wedding ring, watch, bling-bling etc) I will look at his legs and come back up to his eyes and lips before I check out his crotch and butt. That I made the journey from his eyes and over to his ass is an indication that I am interested in him.

Women are masters at disguising their interest in men. Let’s face it, while guys have to do the hard work and put their butts on the line during an approach, women just do what comes natural to us. We flirt.

We use every trick in the book to hook, sink, and reel in their guy. Oh, we don’t mean to be manipulative (not when it comes to flirting) we just can’t help ourselves- it’s instinctual.

As you know, women initiate contact more often then men. Guys may think they have made the first move, but not true, women are sending out non-verbal signals way before you dance over with your approach. If you are attentive, and recognize these sexual signs, it will give you a much-welcomed boost to your confidence.

Here are few girlie signs that she is into you.

You can easily tell if a woman is interested in you, she will subconsciously fondle herself.

Have you ever seen a woman massaging her neck and shoulders? Think she really has a stiff neck, think again cowboy. Remember what I told you boys- women are masters at manipulation.

Sometimes when I am relaxed and I see or fantasize about someone yummy I will slowly caress my thighs. I usually massage myself with long, delicate strokes- starting at the top of my knee and making my way up and down the top of my thigh to…

Oh my, this isn’t erotica 101.. Sorry gentlemen, let’s move on.

When you see a women fixing and playing with her hair, honey, she’s not grooming herself. Believe me, women come armed with the all the beautifying accoutrements in their 10 pounds purses- When a woman is running her fingers through her hair and gently rolls her head back to expose her neck, she is inviting you to come closer. If you do not pick up the signal, she will eventually lean into you and speak ever so softly- almost in a whisper- leaving you no choice but to lean into her.

Think she is just trying to be discreet? - not likely; this is just another well-developed ploy to get you to move in closer to her.

So now that she is in pre-kiss position, she will lock eyes with you. Now carefully watch what she is doing, she will almost certainly be moistening her lips with her tongue and moving her body closer into yours.

Pay attention to her hands, if you are at a restaurant or bar she will play with the stem of her wine glass, or twirl a straw in her fingers. Keep an eye on her hands, if she abandons the security of her glass and places her hands in front of you she wants you to touch her.

Time to kiss.

Many people use the first kiss as a litmus test- we test for chemistry and quiet frankly, how good the sex will be. I can always tell if a man will be a good lover, by the way he kisses. The way we kiss the very first time is an indicator if the relationship will go any further.

A little pressure, no worries, just remember, most people kiss you the way they like to be kissed. Follow her cues and she will guide you, if she is aroused everything will start to heat up.


- CJ Chandler
---------

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

SHAMELESS PLUG, WITH A GREAT STORY:



"Carlos,

This might be a strange. I have been studying your stuff for nearly 3 months now. The Approach Now, The Dating Black book, Alpha man stuff and audio coaching stuff.

Back in May before I knew anything about the game I was in a bar and spotted this really hot girl. I walked upto her and began chatting to her. We seem to get on then I went off to the toilet and came back and see was chatting to another bloke. I felt jealous all of a sudden (I was an AFC back then). I went up and asked "Hey I wanna cu again give me yor number" she smiled and said "no"

I was really hurt that night and sulked like a little boy. Now I see the same girl yesterday on the train the same girl gosh !! from the bar months ago. She doesnt recognise me !!

I approach her look in her eyes and say "This is a bizzare question, we dont know each other.. are you single ?". She says yes..I say give me your number..guess what ? She hands me her number holy shit LOL.. What is going on here ??. I immediately start flirting with her LOL and she says give me a call sometime...just had to tell you and say that your stuff is simply GOLD !!!!!!!.


Plan to be in the US at some point. If I am in your area I would to buy you lunch !!

Happy new year mate !

- C in the U.K."

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

EYES OF FIRE:


As I walk down the hallways at work or sidewalk, I'll attempt to make
eye contact with women. However frequently, the women will
frequently just glance down, making eye contact impossible. Is my
eye contact to intense, if so how do I tone it down?

--------
CARLOS:

I can't diagnose your eye-contact situation without experiencing it first hand, but it sounds to me like you may be hitting them a bit too hard.

Are you smiling, or is your facial expression relaxed?

No one wants to be bored through with another person's Manson-lamps.

Just glance at them, and if they lock eyes for any amount of time, just say, "Hi!"

And go on about your business.

Women feel conspicuous all day long, as if they're being watched and observed, so you don't want to add to that.

Get the hang of casual eye-contact. Then you can move on.

If you're in motion on the street, most women aren't looking to be picked up. Use your eyes judiciously.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, January 16, 2006

WEDDING RINGS:



Something I noticed the other day when I was talking to a girl. She started playing with her wedding ring, but turning it so that the stone is on the wrong side.

I've never noticed this before. Do you think this could good be a way to tell if it's a Cockroach ring (wearing the ring just to keep the sleazy guys away, even though she
isn't engaged or married?) I didn't get her number, mostly because of the ring. We all know women who have done this, and it used to keep me away. But as of late, i just talk to about any women I meet thanks in part to your alpha program.

Do you think it could be a tell??

-A
--------

CARLOS:

Interesting concept.

Yes, if they're turning their ring, they're hiding something, though it's hard to say what. There are a lot of women who wear their ring to filter out the losers. But that's not a great strategy considering what kind of guy would be intentionally hitting on the married women... (?) Unless you feel there's a void that needs to be taken care of...

You're doing exactly what you should, which is ignoring the static and just communicating to the women that you want to. Declaring this as your right is essential to your Alpha attitude.

I'd bust on a woman that did that with her ring and ask her if that was what she was using it for. I love talking to women about their marriages, because you find out where they are lacking...

C

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, January 13, 2006

GOING OUT ON THE TOWN:



Hi Carlos,
I wanted to give a big thanks to you for all the great advice in your newsletter and on your podcast. I recently purchased the Dating Black Book and it has helped enormously. I plan to purchase the audio sessions very soon.

So here is my deal: I'm a good natured, relatively good-looking guy who always seemed to get into relationships when I was either introduced by a friend or when the girl showed interest first. Now I have the confidence to approach and follow through without that huge cloud of fear hovering over me.

Since using your program, I've been able to meet girls in my area but usually in bars and clubs that I feel comfortable in and when I'm with my friends. But I'm going out to LA next week and need to know how to meet girls in a completely new area where I don't know anything about the surroundings.

On top of that, I do have some fear about looking stupid going out by myself without any wingmen around. Can you help?
Lou

========
CARLOS:

Well, the only thing that's different about the two situations you're asking about is this:

Familiarity.

That's it. Your confidence is always higher with a place you're familiar with.

You don't need to know anything about the surroundings.

In fact, when I go to a new location, I feel totally liberated from my usual self-image and I find it even easier to make friends and get women.

The answer here is that it's all in your head.

All you need to do is spend one night going to a few places in the area where you're staying. Just hang out for a while and get comfortable there. Imagine it's like your living room.

How would you behave if it was a party in your living room?

So why not act that way and relax into it?

And going out alone is so much better sometimes, because you control the entire schedule.

You need to break down your beliefs about these situations and understand why you feel the way you do. Once you can see that there are just as many reasons to feel the opposite way, and you can attach some emotional impact to those reasons, you'll have no problem.

Wherever you go, there you are.

So get used to it.

Comfort is simply an illusion created by familiarity.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, January 12, 2006

FASHION TIP:



Hey Carlos,

How's it going man? Since our phone [coaching], I've been making improvements. Now I come to the question of how to dress.

In order for you to perhaps recommend something, I should describe how I currently dress. For the most part my style is what could be considered hip-hop. Baggy jeans, large loose fitting shirts. Typical club outfit would include a striped long sleeve button up (usually with a colored undershirt matching the dominant color theme of the shirt and/or shoes) some loose fitting jeans, some Timberland boots, and accesories such as a watch and earing.

It seems to be an OK style, but I do mostly like white women, and am wondering if changing my wardrobe would be condusive to my success with my target women (although some of them go for this look.) I am just a little confused and maybe you can make a whole different recommendation altogether. Any ideas will help. Thanks.

-M
----------
CARLOS:


Your look is something that must be personalized, to be sure. However, the first rule is that it must look good on YOU.

The second rule is that however you decide to dress, you will attract the woman that likes that style of dress. If you want a biker broad (or a woman that likes bikers), dress like a biker.

The second rule is something that you must decide for yourself with respect to your tastes.

The first rule requires some outside perspective. So not having seen your “look,” I can’t say much, though I am familiar with the style you describe.

Something I have been resisting for a while and come to the realization is that loose fitting jeans don’t present a s exy image. Fitted jeans are better for this.

The best solution is to get a woman you know to help you pick out some clothes. Find a woman with taste, who knows you well enough to choose this stuff.

The third rule is that all women have varying tastes. You never know what 'look' a woman will go for. But the appearance is just frosting on the cake. What matters most, of course, is the attitude you project from it.

Here’s another idea: We’ll be doing a quick fashion makeover with everyone at my Alpha Immersion Seminar on March 3rd to the 5th. CJ and I will be reviewing each person’s appearance and giving some suggestions re: clothing choices and accessories.

And that’s only the tip of the iceberg for the content ...

Go HERE for more information on this one-of-a-kind event.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

MESSAGIO



Carlos, I devoured the book. You are my man.

I am fit, handsome, smart and with a goood job. But I was absolutely ruining my life. I had it all wrong. The wrong perspective, and got into one of those downward spiral you mention, trying to get their approval, failing their tests, letting them control my life, moving from lousy to lousier relationships. You are great! I really appreciate your advice. I'm looking forward to your advanced audio sessions.

Thanks Carlos! keep it up!
 
- Giovanni


-------------

"To Carlos, I would like to personaly thank you for your e-book, I could go on for hours about my life, the fun and the struggles, but I don't want to bore you, I just want to thank you.

"The information you have given me I would call like water to a neglected plant, that everyone sees and admires but presume is doing ok on its own."
- P. B.

--------------

CARLOS:

I'd like to comment on your observation, because it's very insightful.

A lot of people assume that someone is doing fine just because of the outside appearance.

The reality is that most guys are NOT doing very good with women. And they won't admit it to others - or themselves.

To deny yourself the greatest skill in the world is a bit like telling yourself you don't need to grow anymore. You're as good as you're going to get.

Not true.

In fact, the Truth is that you have to take responsibility for your own growth. Your "plant" doesn't have someone taking care of it.

The reality is that YOU may have to turn your leaves to the sun a little more. Get the life-giving light you need.

YOU may have to grow your roots closer to the water, and pull them back from those polluted areas (your negative friends, for instance.)

YOU may have to develop the sweet pollen and nectar that draws in the birds you desire.

A lot of guys wonder how to "read" women, as well as how to develop
their skills to improve their dating life.

To do this you need the complete picture for you to succeed in the
long-term.

Perhaps you'd like to know the mindset of the men that take no crap
from any man, woman, child, or small furry mammal.

First of all, you need my e-book - The Dating Black Book. I've
packed this e-book with HUNDREDS of examples, tips, strategies,
explanations, what to say, what to do, how to interpret situations,
and how to clean up that stinkin' thinkin' ...

Get it here:

http://www.datingdynamics.com

Oh, and I've got an e-book and 6-CD audio program you'll want to
have a look at, too. This program covers every part of your
self-confidence and INNER game.

You can see this life-changing program here:

http://www.alphaseduction.com

This new e-book and audio will guide you through exercises, tips,
and strategies for changing your life RIGHT NOW. It's not just
about getting more women (even though that's a really great
side-effect of this program), but we show you the way to a more
successful LIFE - business, family, social, financial... everything!

I've even thrown in a few extra bonuses that you're going to want
to grab with this offer, too. I've spent the last year creating
this great program, including the best of our Advanced Audio
Coaching Sessions, with 34 all new tracks specifically aimed at
this topic, and HUNDREDS of pages of new advice on how to get your
game together with women.

You can see the complete list of contents here at:
http://www.alphaseduction.com

If you get the program right away, I'll send you the 393 page e-book
RIGHT AWAY so you can get started... AND I'll even send you a link
to join the Alpha Man Forum - a special user group where you can
exchange information and tips with other Alpha Men.

Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL
admit it.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, January 10, 2006


LETTER FROM A CANUCK:



Unbelievable. This is the best Letter I've read. I wanna first thank for all the letter + Ebook. My life really changed since I read the Ebook + all the daily letter you're sending. It's crazy.

There's was only one thing I wasn't able to understand, that I found just by reading your letter today: The Fear Of Sucess.

Wow. That really is my problem. I know the day-to-day routine will probably make me forget it like 1 week from now, But I guess I'll just have to read your letter everyday so I wont forget it.

I really appreciate what you do, and I must not be the first one telling you... really.

Sorry for the Bad English, I'm a French guy from Quebec. ;)

Sam
-----------
CARLOS:


Remember this time, the joy of learning and getting this change, because in a year, when all this stuff has been internalized, you're going to wonder what all the fuss was about. You'll be a different man inside - and out.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Carlos,

I have been studying your stuff for nearly 3 months now. The Approach Now, The Dating Black book, Alpha man stuff and audio coaching stuff.

Back in May before I knew anything about the game I was in a bar and spotted this really hot girl. I walked upto her and began chatting to her. We seem to get on then I went off to the toilet and came back and see was chatting to another bloke. I felt jealous all of a sudden (I was an AFC back then). I went up and asked "Hey I wanna cu again give me yor number" she smiled and said "no"

I was really hurt that night and sulked like a little boy. Now I see the same girl yesterday on the train the same girl gosh !! from the bar months ago. She doesnt recognise me !!

I approach her look in her eyes and say "This is a bizzare question, we dont know each other..are you single ?". She says yes..I say give me your number..guess what ? She hands me her number holy shit LOL.. What is going on here ??. I immediately start flirting with her LOL and she says give me a call sometime...just had to tell you and say that your stuff is simply GOLD !!.

Plan to be in the US at some point. If I am in your area I would to buy you lunch !!

Happy new year mate !

C in the U.K.


----------
CARLOS:

And THIS, my fellow Alpha Men out there, is why you should never take a 'rejection' seriously.

Just a little later you'll be able to win the ones you lost by simple application of my techniques and strategies...

Cool, huh?

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, January 07, 2006

SEMINAR QUESTIONS:



Hi Carlos,

Just wondering about the start and end times of the seminar.

These are some other concerns I have:

I feel like I'm not the type who would succeed in a club setting. I'm not typically too good at conversing in loud environments, and don't generally like the music in clubs, except when I go to dance salsa, which I love. I have to admit, I also get intimidated by the smooth, tall, good-looking guys...as well as feeling that most of the women are unapproachable. So I'm wondering if I should do this seminar, or focus on one which emphasizes more of the daytime scene.

I am also concerned that I will get enough practice beforehand, to really be effective in the field (club). For example, I have heard of another seminar where they actually develop stories with individual guys, and practice A LOT with different exercises before going out in the field. I think I'm the kind of person that needs that, since I have listened to the theory for a while, but haven't had as much success as I'd like.

So I'm wondering if you can be more specific about the types of exercises you plan to do, and the amount of time that will be dedicated to that, as opposed to explanations and theory.


Thanks!

F
_________

CARLOS:


Sure, let me clarify:

This will not be a “club pickup and macking” seminar. This is about developing your inner confidence and developing a lifestyle that is attractive to women. Not to learn clever trance patterns or put you in a loud club and push you at a bunch of women.

We’re not going to obnoxious dance clubs. I want to go to places where we can just meet people. Remember, if you want to get success in the field, you have to GO out in the field. Right? :)

We’re not out to get laid, but to impact your sense of confidence and ability on a level that will stick with you far longer than any one-night-stand. (But if good fortune smiles upon you... smile back!)

SEMINAR TIMES:

Start times of the event: evening on Friday, First thing (8:00 AM) Saturday, and 9:00 on Sunday ending about 3:00 pm.


You’ll expand your awareness of possibility in your life, as well as work on whatever your individual sticking points are. Maybe it’s storytelling, or maybe it’s something underneath that ability that would allow you to tell stories naturally. We will work on a few techniques, and some role playing, but I’m more concerned with developing your inner game.

(Honestly, my feeling is that you don’t need a seminar to teach you how to tell stories about yourself. You need to feel confident telling people about yourself in a way that is attractive.)


Exercises will be on developing YOU from the inside out. Already, you telling me that you feel intimidated by the "smooth, tall, good looking" guys shows that what you need is not some flashy external technique, but a strong development of your Alpha Confidence. I have a few helpers that are going to assist me in digging deep into your beliefs and inner game, and we're going to fine tune your engine like you've never experienced before.

This seminar is for real.


I hope this helps you with your questions....

Guys, let me know if you have any others. I think this would be a great environment for everyone to learn in, and this is definitely a seminar that EVERY man will get something out of if you've ever had doubts about your value in another woman's eyes.

Come to San Francisco in March...

http://www.mensdatingadvice.com/mens-dating-advice-seminar.htm


alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, January 06, 2006

SEMINAR 2006



Guys, 2006 is here. But I want you to take a look back at 2005 for
a minute.

And as you look back, I have a question I need to ask you:

Are you where you want to be right now? Did 2005 bring you the
success you had hoped for?

Or was it another year where things just sort of hummed along ...
and you "got by"?

Nothing terribly bad happened.

But nothing terribly GOOD, either.

When you're on the path, when you're becoming an Alpha Man and
obtaining the success you want, life becomes a series of
escalations. Each year should get more and more exciting. Each time
you interact with a woman you should get more and more comfortable
and progress further and further.

Most people feel they are forced to lower their expectations to avoid
the pain of disappointment. I have a different plan in mind for
you, though.

Sure, it can be hard to make progress in your confidence and with
your dating when you're going at it all alone. Maybe you've got the
help of some materials, or you've been listening to some self-help
audio, but you haven't been able to make that big leap forward that
you want.

Well, it's finally going to happen... Carlos Xuma is about to offer
the first of a new program:

ALPHA MAN IMMERSION 2006 - SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA


This seminar will be held the first weekend of March (3/3/2006 -
3/5/2006).

We're going to cover all areas of attitude, change,
psychology, inner game and outer game. We're also including
training on the approach, and following it up with a special
session on locking in your new success habits into an Alpha
Lifestyle.

We'll even be doing a real approach bootcamp in local clubs.

This seminar is an exclusive and limited event.

This is not just a boring lecture. Your current mindset will be
upgraded to the next version as we delve into your sticking points,
repair any bad programming, and install your new Alpha operating
system.


The first 5 to sign up will receive a couple special bonuses
personally picked by Carlos himself for each person.

Don't wait. The seating is by reservation only, and this will be a
VERY limited group. Carlos wants to be able to work with a closely
knit focus group on specific details of their game. He reserves the
right to close admission at ANY time to serve the needs of the group.


You won't just be sitting back in some classroom and taking notes
... you'll be LIVING the Alpha Mindset.

Due to scheduling conflicts and his prior commitments, Carlos
probably won't be able to offer another program like this for the
rest 2006.

Please don't wait. Don't risk missing this fantastic opportunity.

When you're ready, go here to make your reservation:

http://www.mensdatingadvice.com/mens-dating-advice-seminar.htm

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Top Alpha Man Heavy Metal Songs:



Okay, guys... I went ahead and published an iMix of some of my favorite commercial heavy metal of the last few decades. It's tasty, and not meant for date music. But if you want to rock the hardest, you can't go wrong with these...

Yes, I'll publish more lists for you in the future that you can use on your Day 2 meetings, or whatever.

- Carlos Xuma - Your man of technology for better dating...

"Carlos Xuma's Metal" has been published in the iTunes Music store at:
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPublishedPlaylist?id=642326

If you've got iTunes, just plug that in your browser...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEMINAR 2006



Guys, 2006 is here. But I want you to take a look back at 2005 for
a minute.

And as you look back, I have a question I need to ask you:

Are you where you want to be right now? Did 2005 bring you the
success you had hoped for?

Or was it another year where things just sort of hummed along ...
and you "got by"?

Nothing terribly bad happened.

But nothing terribly GOOD, either.

When you're on the path, when you're becoming an Alpha Man and
obtaining the success you want, life becomes a series of
escalations. Each year should get more and more exciting. Each time
you interact with a woman you should get more and more comfortable
and progress further and further.

Most people feel they are forced to lower their expectations to avoid
the pain of disappointment. I have a different plan in mind for
you, though.

Sure, it can be hard to make progress in your confidence and with
your dating when you're going at it all alone. Maybe you've got the
help of some materials, or you've been listening to some self-help
audio, but you haven't been able to make that big leap forward that
you want.

Well, it's finally going to happen... Carlos Xuma is about to offer
the first of a new program:

ALPHA MAN IMMERSION 2006 - SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA


This seminar will be held the first weekend of March (3/3/2006 -
3/5/2006).

We're going to cover all areas of attitude, change,
psychology, inner game and outer game. We're also including
training on the approach, and following it up with a special
session on locking in your new success habits into an Alpha
Lifestyle.

We'll even be doing a real approach bootcamp in local clubs.

This seminar is an exclusive and limited event.

This is not just a boring lecture. Your current mindset will be
upgraded to the next version as we delve into your sticking points,
repair any bad programming, and install your new Alpha operating
system.


The first 5 to sign up will receive a couple special bonuses
personally picked by Carlos himself for each person.

Don't wait. The seating is by reservation only, and this will be a
VERY limited group. Carlos wants to be able to work with a closely
knit focus group on specific details of their game. He reserves the
right to close admission at ANY time to serve the needs of the group.


You won't just be sitting back in some classroom and taking notes
... you'll be LIVING the Alpha Mindset.

Due to scheduling conflicts and his prior commitments, Carlos
probably won't be able to offer another program like this for the
rest 2006.

Please don't wait. Don't risk missing this fantastic opportunity.

When you're ready, go here to make your reservation:

http://www.mensdatingadvice.com/mens-dating-advice-seminar.htm

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

ALPHA DOMINANCE AND ALPHA ATTRACTION:


Carlos, your stuff is great.

I listen to the podcast weekly and always relate it to my friend to help him out with his woman issues. My question is a bit different from that of other guys on your site, but fundamentally, the issues are the same. I have a great girlfriend and a great relationship with her, but there are a few things I'm curious about. To preface, we've been going out for two months, but off-and-on since April (and we'd each seen other people in the interim).

First, she and I have become best friends. We spend almost every day together to the detriment of our other friendships, but we greatly enjoy each other's company. Of course, we both recognize that this is unhealthy, but do it nonetheless. Second is a dominance issue: she is physically stronger than me (a problem on my part that I'm fixing by working out now), and she feels like "she chose me" when we first met, while I disagree with her on this point.

Otherwise, she sees me as very dominant in other social situations. She tells me that she finds me very attractive, but I suspect that these dominance factors detract from her attraction to me.

Carlos, I realize that being an alpha man means not caring about these things, and in truth, they bother me only minimally. However, I'm so impressed with your content and your honesty that I thought I'd run even these small issues by you.

As a message to other guys, I have to say that your stuff is extremely helpful. I started reading dating info about a year ago, and I started on the track of higher self-confidence. This summer I got into your info, and I'm most impressed that you focus on being your own man, rather than only on trying to have sex with hot women. Guys who employ your advice effectively will realize that once they have the self-confidence that only THEY have control over, then they can have the woman of their choice.

Thanks for the advice,
M

P.S. Another message for the guys: you know you've found a great girl when SHE pays for YOU whenever she can.

-------------
CARLOS:

Well, I've got a concern, and it's not the physical dominance thing. Keep working on that so that she feels physically safe around you (that you can protect her.)

My biggest concern is the amount of time you're spending together.

You say: "we both recognize that this is unhealthy, but do it nonetheless."

This is not good.

Never neglect your friends. You need a healthy and active social life in addition to your relationship.

Let's say this little romance made in heaven should end. It could happen. (More on this in a moment.)

What would you do when she's gone? Go back to your friends again? They're going to be happy to have you back, but not as happy as if you'd stayed in touch and connected the whole time instead of deserting them. That undermines trust.

I see this quite a bit (and, yes, I've even DONE it in my past), and it's never a good thing. When you focus on one person to the exclusion of all others, you run a big risk of obsession.

Which then only makes it MORE likely you'll burn out on this one person you're so caught up in.

I don't need to talk about addictive behavior, but you get my point, right?

When you say "we both recognize that this is unhealthy, but do it nonetheless", you're saying the classic Ultimate Loser Line, only using slightly different words.

Don't know what this Ultimate Loser Line is?

"Yeah, I know, BUT..."

But what?

If you know what you're doing is wrong, but you choose to do it, you're saying you have no self-control. In the end, that's the biggest issue, because you're not doing what's healthy for the relationship; you're doing what serves your immediate gratification.

If you want this relationship to last over the long haul, and stay healthy in the process, give each other some time to breathe.

Or you'll hear the dreaded "I think we just need some time apart..."

And it's all over from there.

Don't listen to a woman when she tells you that she's attracted to you. Words can be deceiving.

Watch her ACTIONS.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, January 01, 2006

HAPPY NEW YEAR!


2006 is going to be awesome... It's already shaping up just fine...

Went to the Ruby Skye party last night and I'll have the pictures up soon.

And here's a little something that I thought was cool:



"Carlos,

This might be a strange. I have been studying your stuff for nearly 3 months now. The Approach Now, The Dating Black book, Alpha man stuff and audio coaching stuff.

Back in May before I knew anything about the game I was in a bar and spotted this really hot girl. I walked upto her and began chatting to her. We seem to get on then I went off to the toilet and came back and see was chatting to another bloke. I felt jealous all of a sudden (I was an AFC back then). I went up and asked "Hey I wanna cu again give me yor number" she smiled and said "no"

I was really hurt that night and sulked like a little boy. Now I see the same girl yesterday on the train the same girl gosh !! from the bar months ago. She doesnt recognise me !!

I approach her look in her eyes and say "This is a bizzare question, we dont know each other..are you single ?". She says yes..I say give me your number..guess what ? She hands me her number holy shit LOL.. What is going on here ??. I immediately start flirting with her LOL and she says give me a call sometime...just had to tell you and say that your stuff is simply GOLD !!!!!!!.

Plan to be in the US at some point. If I am in your area I would to buy you lunch !!


Happy new year mate !
- C"



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