I’m including this “Life experience report" to highlight that EVERY guy out there has challenges, and that we can all bounce back from them.
His story highlights some things that are uncomfortable for a lot of guys to admit, but once you get REAL, you'll understand that telling yourself lies about why you're not having success with women is actually crippling your recovery.
Now, parts of this mail might read like it’s about promoting my stuff, but that’s not why it’s here at all, and I know you guys are smart enough to know my quality of character by now. I want you to pay particular attention to the experiences he went through. This is more important.
And also watch for the indications of poisonous, using women. They are out there.
Thanks to him for sharing this stuff with us ...
I wanted to relate my story to you and your students about the great work you do. None of this is easy to share. I will admit that I violated most all of your teachings with a woman and received exactly what I deserved. Which is great because it brought me to the reality that I had no clue about women. Even with past success, I had no idea why I had that success. That is sooooo important. Your success starts on the inside, in every aspect of life. That is the fundamental reason Carlos' program stands miles ahead of the rest.
He focuses on bringing out the person you already are on the inside and works on making you a total man. With that you can have success with all types of women. Without working from the inside out, you will be like me, getting by on being decent looking and making decent money and not having a clue why you're having success. When you are like that, one of two things will eventually happen, you'll have a fall or you'll rush in, get married and have an even worse fall. The first one is way better and it is what happened to me.
I am 32. Through my early 20s, I slept with a lot of women while I was going to professional school and after when I was out in the working world. There were some attractive ones, some less than attractive ones, nice, not so nice, etc... All the while, I had no clue what I was doing, and no clue what I was after, and most importantly no clue who I was as a man.
I met a girl on-line when I was 31 and proceeded to violate every piece of advice I would later get from Carlos. If your readers read my testimonial, they will likely see a little of themselves in some portion of it. Hopefully not too much, because I was a complete loser. I want them to relate and I hope it helps them in choosing to buy your course. It is an easy choice from where I sit today.
Anyway, back to the girl. Early 20s, smallish in stature, ex swimwear model, very attractive, but truthfully on par with others I had been with, definitely not a stand-out above them. But, there was something about her that drove me to do a lot of dumb things. This was because I had not met Carlos' material. We traded emails for about two weeks and they got way personal, way quick. It took me a good week before I asked for her number. When I called the conversations were flat, which I was used to because I always hating talking to a woman on the phone. The emails kept going back and forth and before you know it, I am obsessing over someone I never met. Were trading I miss you and lovey-dovey stuff. But each time we get ready to meet, she cancels on me at the last minute for family stuff that pops up (I think maybe a grandfather got really ill or something was one of them). Any way red flags were abounding.
Then, one day out of the blue after we talked a few more times, I get an email saying that she met someone else and that it was exclusive, strong connection, blah, blah, blah. I went into a tailspin. Again, I am a professional in the financial industry, making good money, decent to above average looking, had slept with pretty women in the past, AND I have never met this person. When I look back on it, my reaction astounds me. I even kept trying to contact her by email thinking I could win her back. Pure silliness when I look back on it now.
Well, she gets so annoyed that she bluntly tells me to leave her and the new love of her life alone. (Again, this is embarrassing stuff to bring back up. But sit tight, it gets worse.)
I basically spend the next few weeks lost. Finally I send her an email and apologize for my behavior and ask her to accept me back into her life (or something pathetically similar to that). She even sort of admitted she was wrong for how she handled it (very rare for her) and I immediately let her off the hook there and told her she did nothing wrong. Frankly, I was behaving like a huge pussy throughout all this. Plus, I am in delusion-ville thinking that if I can be her friend, I can weasel in to be her lover, if something happens with this other guy. Jeez, this is embarrassing how lame I was.
Well, soon after I get an email saying that they broke it off. I had been spending my waking hours working, barely dating at all and obsessing over this very occurrence. When it happens, I talk with her and immediately go into friend supportive guy mode and continue to behave like a complete wuss. Basically, seeking her approval and trying to get the first date I never got. Finally 3 months or more later, she agrees to meet me because I need an assistant for a new business venture and she needs money. She is even more gorgeous in person and I flip again. Mind you all I have seen from this girl is overall a poor character, a lack of ambition, and a general disregard for me. It didn't matter, I am scoring her passing grades in all those important areas.. What I like to refer to now as extra credit for being pretty, or hot points. Very delusional thinking and therefore very dangerous.
After all this, I am even being the nice guy and not hitting on her at all when we meet. I sit idly by while she moves in with this teenage guy who spends his day alternating between a minimum wage job at some coffee stand and doing drugs. Ever the manipulator, the girl refers to him as a friend long enough to get me giving her money for jobs she flat out fails to complete. One time, I even accepted that the dog had pooped on the paperwork she had completed in the car. I am buying all this thinking that if I help her through this rough stretch, she'll see what a nice guy I am she'll be mine. (Guys, remember, I have a masters degree. I mean to say I am not stupid!!)
She hides the fact they were more than friends for as long as possible to get me accepting the nice guy role. The guy gets her pregnant and she calls me in extreme financial hardship. Up until then, according to her, they were just friends or something. Smart. What "nice guy" is going to jump on her for being a liar, when A. She technically didn't lie, she just didn't tell what was going on. I didn't even ask. What a huge pussy. B. She is in distress. So I start to be the occasional benefactor whenever they need cash over the next few months. I would only hear from her on those occasions. When she needed money. She continually gushed about what a great and true "friend" I was and how she'll always "love and adore" me. yada, yada, yada. I even bought her a present for her birthday. It is obvious to anyone reading this, that I was completely in la la land at that point. And maybe the biggest waste of a man on the planet.
Well during this, the guy beat her, he got her pregnant and forced her to get an abortion, I think he even broke her arm at one point. Then he left her.
That's when she calls me and asks me for a bunch of cash, which I of course give her. Of course I am thinking that I can swoop in as the nice guy and make her mine. I get more assertive asking her to go out. She has an excuse each and every time, but now throwing in that she does "have feelings" for me, but that she is not ready, etc. etc. Looking back, she probably knew she had to start saying things like this, to keep me hanging around for hand outs. Well soon after she and I are talking and she tells me how touched she was to hear from one of her friends that the guy who beat her and left her was crying over her and wanted her back. Within a week, they are back together. She tells me that life was just so hard and that she needs my support on this and a bunch of other stuff about giving him one last chance.
I was all weenie whiney devastated again but proceed to tell her that I will always be there for her. (Remember, when you have no inner game, but you have the good guy card and that is all you believe works, you actually resort to trying to out good guy your earlier good guy behavior. Like that will make a difference, when the evidence has shown you it is a failure.) So now I am verbally committed to being a complete pussy, whipping boy, cream puff, and I still haven't gone out one time with this girl. During all this year long period, I date sporadically and had sex maybe one time, again not having a clue what I was doing with these women. My mind was fixated on this girl.
I throw money at her periodically when she calls and asks. I mean I am the "nice guy who any girl would be lucky to have". All the while, more of the same with the boyfriend until finally they break- up. She immediately goes into the I'm not ready for a boyfriend and I want to be on my own thing. About a week later, a new "friend" arrives on the scene. He is the original good guy. He buys her food, he takes her places when she needs it, he gets her to her doctor's appointments. (Oh I didn't mention she is a hypochondriac with mental problems.)
She moves in with him but feeds me the line I want to hear, they are just friends. She hits me up for some more money over the next few months. Eventually I ask her to a function at work as my date. She wants to know if it would be ok if we brought the friend along too. I am flabbergasted and ask her if they are a couple. She finally admits it, after filching me for hundreds more for months. The chances are that they were together all along. (So says Mr. Obvious)
Even after that, I help them get some money together for a car. He doesn't have any money either, but at least he doesn't beat her. She tried to play up that her and I are great friends and that her boyfriend won't interfere with that. And when I started to grow a pair to call her BS on the friend thing, she lets me know that we can hang out and he won't come around and that she didn't hang out with me in the past because of boyfriend #1's jealousy. Just total lost crap.
Well, the icing on the cake was when I come to find out they are actually married and had been for quite some time. And she is shaking me down for money.
I new things had to change, because I knew in my gut throughout all this, that I was not doing right. But I seriously didn't know the right way to do things. Around this time, late last year, I found Carlos on line and got his materials, the home study Alpha male course and devoured it. I had to admit to myself that despite past success, I didn't know a damn thing and that I actually was harming myself with my lack of inner game.
I immediately broke off all contact with this girl and told her that the whole friend thing was crap from the beginning. I was just being phony and a gutless wimp. I didn't enter her life as a friend, it didn't interest me to have a friendship with someone of her caliber, and that she had never behaved as a friend. I pointed out all the crap she pulled and she erupted and started running lie after lie after lie and attacked me. Accusing me of trying to break up her marriage or something. But I was free. Free to become the man the I was created to be. Free to take Carlos' course methods and go meet real women, on my terms.
Obviously, I made more mistakes than you can count. ,The dangers of having no inner game and especially self-delusion are many and can be extreme. I hope this helps you and your students see the devastation these things can reap on a man. Also when I look back on it, I was social programmed away from building on my success with women in my early 20s. I started to believe all the media BS that having sex without commitment was wrong to "innocent" women and I actually made a conscious effort to be "nicer" and "sensitive". With that approach and my self-delusional mindset, I basically gave away 2 years of my dating life over someone who could have cared less. If I had known about Carlos in my early 20s, all of it would never have occurred.
Here's how it would have went:
--I would have had multiple women going at once on line, choosing the ones who met my standards, not only in looks and character and ambitions, and throwing the rest back.
--This girl who reaped so much suffering on me, would have never survived the first cut.
Scary to think about. The difference the right inner game can make in a man's life.
Some advice I learned through Carlos, if you guys care to read it:
--Do not ever give a girl credit for something they are not. Making them aware that they have short comings that may disqualify them is actually good for you, because it shows you have standards and expectations. A must.
--Don't delude yourself ever. You must have firm grasp of reality. If a girl is not going out with you, you are doing a lousy job generating attraction. Consult Carlos' material and get busy generating attraction. The druggie teen ager with the nowhere job in my story, he generated attraction. In the final analysis, that is really all that counts. It didn't matter how much money I made, how good looking I was, how nice I was. None of it. Don't kid yourself: Falling back to the "friend" or "nice guy" position is actually harmful to your chances of getting with whatever girl and is destructive to you as a man.
--Be meeting and qualifying many women at a time. This keeps you from getting desperate and becoming weak or groveling to one woman. It also gives you the opportunity to gain experience in Carlos' teachings. I was like a first grader when I got out there and starting doing things the right way. But I am getting better with practice. Most importantly, I am a real guy and embracing it. With this, my ability to attract women has shot way up. That's the beauty of working on your inner game. It comes through without even trying. It is the real you and it draws women in. I also believe women can sense if you are a wanted by other women or not. It is a vibe real guys give off.
--Stop being a people pleaser. Do what you know is right, have standards, stick to them and make no apologies. Women actually love this. The ones that don't, have character flaws that you probably don't want around you. Guys, as strange as it might seem, after all I did for that girl in my story and all my acts of kindness-- I didn't really generate real feelings of attraction with her until I blew her off, told her the truth, admitted what a pussy I had been and stuck to what I know to be right. It isn't logical in the way we guys would like it to be, it's women.
--Stay clear of women with psychological issues. There are so many women. It just isn't worth it. Be their friend if you have the time and energy to do it. But don't lie to yourself that you are hanging around them to be there friend when you're not. If you want to sleep with them, stop and think about it, don't do it and keep practicing what Carlos teaches. You'll soon have so many options that sleeping with or having a relationship with someone who has those problems won't seem like a good choice.
--Stay clear of women who have no goals or ambitions. Again, there are so many women, why sell yourself short. They are either drainers or helpers. There is no in between category. Women who are attractive, but desire nothing for themselves, are harmful to your ambitions and will drain you.
--Take responsibility for yourself. My story could come across to you as being blameful of what another person did to me. It is not meant to. I did that to myself. If someone manipulates you or uses you, you are over half at fault on the first occurrence and 100% on any occurrence after that. You are responsible. I was responsible.
Thanks to Carlos, I quit my corporate career and went out to build a stock brokerage business on my own, helping entrepreneurs fund start-up projects. I currently have less money and status and props like cars and clothes, but I have had greater success with women. I am currently seeing a beautiful dancer with a ballet company. She has class, and brains and understands what I expect, and respects me as a man. I don't fall easy. Her beauty isn't enough. She is free to go if she wants something besides what I am about; and knowing that seems to make me more of a prize to her. Hopefully, I am honoring Carlos' course material. My life physically, spiritually and emotionally is balanced and I am having a great time.
I admit that I needed more help than probably most guys out there. The change in core attitude and approach from your materials made the difference for me.
Mike. Chicago, IL
Something I want to point out here is that even though his money may be low now, he will have unparalleled success in the future because of the risk he’s taking now.
He'll have the life he wants, and the self-respect and dignity that others will only envy.
If you want this success in your life, I can only tell you to go HERE.