What is it about guys that are Naturally Attractive?
Not to beat a dead horse or anything, but I gotta tell you about my roommate because I want to understand more about what he is doing and how he is doing it.
First off, he's a great guy and one of my best friends here at school. He's got my back to the very end and I don't doubt it for a second.
But, everywhere we go... and I mean EVERYWHERE, girls flock to him... literally. We'll be on the street, hot girls just stare at him. We'll be at a party or a bar, hot girls approach him, now imagine that! I think you know where I'm going with this. He is a good looking guy and all, but it's got to be something more than just that.
Bottom line is I WANT HIS RESULTS! And, I want to know how he achieves them. Advice?
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
Yeah, don't we all, Paul.
When we see a 'natural' - a guy who is naturally attractive to women - we sometimes fall into the mistaken belief that he's got something magical - an ability that must surely make him a holy being. (Yeah, I'm exaggerating, but not far from what you're thinking in your head.)
Again, it's a comparison trap that you can fall into when you look at another person and want THEIR results.
You CAN'T have his results specifically. It's chasing something you can't control right now, and it will actually lower your ability.
The guys that WANT to have a certain result, like a specific football player's ability, or a politician's social skill, rarely accomplish it. The ones that get the result are the ones who focus SPECIFICALLY on THEIR OWN development and growth. Because that's where it all starts.
I don't want to get too caught up in the mechanics, because the mindset is 10 times as important. If you're chasing another person's results, even if you think that's what you want for yourself, you're going to hurt your game, because you'll always have a standard set that is not your identity, and it undermines your sense of self worth at that moment because you're not achieving it.
Even if you want to use him as some kind of benchmark of your own performance, it will not help.
So you want to know what his attraction secret is?
Here it is:
1) He's physically attractive, so he's got a flashy lure. Women will be drawn in by the appearance. This is good only for about 30 seconds, while she waits to hear what comes out of your mouth.
2) He's got a good image. I'll bet he's got a style of appearance (clothes, hair, etc.) that makes him look good.
3) He's got a charismatic attitude. He's persuasive, and he can communicate well.
4) He's not giving off subtle pings of insecurity and instability with his mannerisms, speech, and body language.
5) He's not focused on being like or doing as well as anyone else. He's surrendered to the present moment and accepted things RIGHT NOW. As they are, good, bad, or indifferent.
I guarantee you that anyone that's good with women and confident with women has learned these strategies and has given up the need to compare on any level.
You can only sell your product when you're convinced of its value. You don't see anyone selling their goods or services while dumbstruck in awe over their competitors, do you?
This is the essence of Charisma. And the secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn. Here's a link to a great resource for you to consider...