Thursday, January 31, 2008

New Teleseminar for Advanced Coaching Members...

Hey, it's me, Carlos....

For all the Advanced Coaching members, you get privileges... just like American Express - membership has it's advantages.

One of these is a live teleseminar with me each month. I'll be covering core concepts related to dating and becoming an Alpha Man, as well as answering questions from guys on the calls and giving feedback...

Below you will find the call-in information for the next conference call. Please be sure to mark this on your calendar and reserve the time to either dial-in or listen via the web. (Please note that you cannot ask questions live if you're on the webcast.)

On the teleseminar page, you can send me your questions in advance, and I'll be working through some explanations of any dating situation you might have.

The first call is regarding core skills of dating and confidence. I'll have the PDF file up for you shortly, so be sure to check back after this weekend to get the reference document for the call. You can get the document by clicking the button on the web page for this call.


Look forward to talking to you then...!

EVENT: Advanced Coaching Teleseminar - Core Skills
DATE & TIME: Wednesday, February 13th at 6:00pm Pacific
FORMAT: Simulcast! (Attend via Phone or Webcast -- it's your choice)

TO ATTEND THIS EVENT, CLICK THIS LINK...
http://www.alphaconfidence.com/audio/


Your friend,

Carlos Xuma

PS: This event is ONLY for Advanced Coaching Subscribers, so if you'd like to participate and you've either let your membership lapse or drop, you can renew it here:
http://www.alphaconfidence.com/audio/

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Are you meeting me at the Sahara?

I had to write this fast and furious, so please forgive me if the grammar and punctuation isn't up to my usual literary excellence.

(Yeah, right...)

Anyway, you might not know it, but guess who's coming to town on 2/22/2008?

Actually, the whole weekend...

Uh, Who is Carlos Xuma for $500, Alex?

You're right!

(Sorry. Just got back from a weekend of snowboarding and I'm a little loopy. Fresh mountain air... 8 inches of loose powder... yeah, buddy...)

In case you haven't heard, The Mystery Method is coming to town - that town is Las Vegas, by the way...

And Carlos will be speaking there, plus a few other small surprises...

So if you're in the area, and you want to hang with the X-man (I really need some sleep...), PLEASE take a look at what's going down at this one-of-a-kind superconference.

There will be speakers on just about every imaginable topic of dating and attraction, and of course, yours truly will be there to share some BRAND spankin' new material...

Join us for a weekend of intense instruction as top instructors from Love Systems, Badboy Lifestyles, Pickup101, the Mystery Method, Brad P. Presents, and more share their tips and techniques to a limited number of lucky students.

Highlights include:

Specialized instruction from leaders in their fields! Get fashion advice from Brad P., Direct Game from Badboy, and routines from The Don!

An action-packed schedule and custom programs! Along with presentations in the main room on specific topics there will be a variety of discussions, panels, drills, and more in the “breakout” room. Get the information you need to bring your game to a whole new level...

New and never-before-seen material. The masters will be sharing the best and most successful techniques they’ve learned and developed over the years...

Click Here to get more information on how to become a part of this incredibly cool seminar:

I'll be back again this week with more Q&A, too!

Now that I'm all rested up...

Your friend,

Carlos Xuma

PS: There is no PS. I was just told to put one in case you scanned to the bottom. I didn't want you to be disappointed.

PPS: Go check out the seminar, dude... Click and review:

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Friends Zone

Carlos, I've read about the 'Friend Zone'.

I'm curious, are there any women still in your life who have consigned you to the friend zone? If so, what sort of things do you do together? Do you ever discuss your real girlfriends with her?

- RJ
______________________
CARLOS XUMA EXPLAINS "FRIENDS":

Time for some more tough-love... I haven't had my coffee, so I've got a license to tell-it-like-it-is.

I don't let women categorize me this way - as 'just friends' if I've had a romantic interest in them.

Again, if you do the right things at the right time, you should be able to avoid the "friends zone" - (where a woman classifies you as 'just a friend').

Most problems guys have with women relate to the action they did just prior to the problem occurring.

In other words, if a woman puts you in the friends zone, it's probably because of your behavior just prior to her declaration.

The women in my life that are "just friends" are that way because I put them there.

In my opinion, it's a bad bad bad idea to keep a woman in your life that has put you in her "friends only" zone.

1) She has 'dismissed' you, which means you're probably still pining away for her, hoping to get another chance.

2) You're keeping yourself in a scarcity mindset by keeping these women around, and it communicates to your subconscious mind that you're so desperate that you'll settle for this treatment. It lowers your self-respect and confidence.

If I can read between the lines of your questions, it sounds as if you have been put into the friend zone, and now you are orbiting her - a little groupie of this chick, hoping to restart the romance by "doing stuff" together.

My advice? Move on.

Yes, you can keep her as a friend, but only after you extinguish the flame of desire you still have for her. Until then, you don't need her as a friend. If you still have feelings for her, you're jeopardizing your Alpha Confidence just to keep another 'friend you wish you were sleeping with' around.

Make sense?

You can find a friend almost anywhere. But your confidence and self-image you must maintain at all costs.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, January 20, 2008

How to Handle Women Who Tease

I'm a longtime fan of your stuff and have read it all. The Dating Black Book should be on every guy's shelf in a manner of speaking right beside the dictionary, because truly it is a dictionary of sorts that helps guys finally easily define how to understand women.

I've been dating on a fairly regular basis now since reading the Dating Black Book but I've come up against a problem. There's a woman I've been seeing off an on for almost 2 years now and of all the women I've dated I really like this one. Every time we start things up we get close to a relationship then just before it happens she bails.

Without fail though every time she's out drinking I'm the guy she's calling up asking to go over to her place (this happens almost every weekend).

My question is Carlos, is she still attracted to me or am I wasting my time with this one? If she is, how can I break this cycle and start making some progress? It's like she doesn't trust me or something.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

This is a situation to apply my "evidence theory" to help you see what's REALLY happening.

When you're faced with a situation where you can't seem to figure out what is going on, always sit down and write out what the end result is that you're experiencing right now.

In other words, the end result for you is what you said:

"Every time we start things up we get close to a relationship then just before it happens she bails."

Can you imagine what a relationship with a person like this would be like over weeks, months, or even years?

Guys often think that they can take a person with many of the qualities they want - or are deluded into believing they want just because she's "hard to get" - and mold her into the perfect companion.

If only it wasn't for this ONE little thing.

Yeah, well, this is RARELY the case.

You're ignoring that it's not CIRCUMSTANCE that's keeping you apart. It's her deliberate ACTION to avoid getting into a relationship. It's not an accident that she's not following through. It's INTENT.

Don't get caught up trying to date "fixer-uppers." Fixer-uppers are people that need work to make them acceptable for a relationship.

Only form a relationship with a person who is meeting your list of requirements or "must haves." Otherwise you put yourself in a situation of being in constant tension with them not meeting your basic needs.

The reality is that since this situation of "can I get her/will I get her" has now drawn out over a couple years, you've been training your brain to cope with your drug addiction.

Note that I did not say "drug" addiction.

No quotes are necessary. You're actually on DRUGS, my friend.

You are addicted to brain chemicals that are released as a result of facing a challenge that you focus and dwell on regularly. And you even go through the whole addict withdrawal response, where you jones for her, and each time you get a little of her, you get that RUSH back.

My advice: Throw this needle in the garbage and move on.

The BOTTOM LINE is what result you are getting.

And what result is that?

NOT what you want. She's avoiding something starting, and she only calls you from her own drunken episodes.

If she wants to have a relationship with you, she must voluntarily and WILLINGLY take those steps to ACQUIRE you. You hearing me, dog?
You can't get into her brain and figure out what piece is missing. She either has it or she doesn't.

I sense that this girl is also addicted to drama, and is not a consistent and steady/reliable candidate to bet a relationship on. She's also got intimacy issues if she consistently bails.

She's telling you with her actions what she is incapable of understanding or telling with words:

She's not going to be your girlfriend.

And even if she was, would you really want her?

REALLY?

Think about it...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, January 18, 2008

Pre-Marital Blues...

Hey Carlos, what's up dude? Hey just want to say that you're stuff is so amazing it's ridiculous! My skill with women has gone up by so much, and so has my skills in other conversation as well. So my question is something that I've never encountered and never have seen before, so that's why I'm stuck.

I started college last fall and met a girl very quickly whom lives two doors down from me. She is one of the greatest girls I've ever met, I've dated a lot of other girls but she is better by quite a good margin. We click so well and do everything together. We've been going out for close to six months now. Sounds great right?

Well she has this thing about not having sex until she is married. We still do other stuff and while we are in the act she always says she wants it, but when I go to act on it she closes up and gets upset. It's really confusing, it maybe just a heat of the moment thing, but I know its on her mind all the time.

For awhile it was alright, but now I don't know if it's worth it. I have no plans of marrying anybody for like 10 years, but she is the kind of girl that if I was older I would consider marrying after more time. I could break up with her, but it feels like I'd be one of those guys who only thinks about sex like I'd be giving up something great over sex, it doesn't really feel right.

I don't want to break up with her because she's not for me, but this whole sex thing is really confusing. So I'm asking you because to me it's not really clear-cut, and I'm sure you've met a girl who doesn't want sex until she's married either. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks a lot for all you've done.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

This is a very confusing area for a lot of guys because they don't understand why a woman would SAY one thing and then act another way. It seems inconsistent.

In a woman's mind, however, this is just the current emotional weather report. And it's subject to change at any moment. This is natural for her.

I'm not going to stomp all over this girl's beliefs, if that's what is really driving her decision.

However, waiting until marriage (unless it's part of her religion or a very well thought out philosophy) is a dated concept, in my opinion. It's a holdover from the times when men used this kind of social pressure to as a form of paternity insurance.

What she's PROBABLY doing is using this as a cover excuse for not wanting to appear slutty or immoral.

Remember: A woman is brought up and conditioned by society to appear virtuous and "good." Any threat to that image is going to be resisted. VIOLENTLY resisted, sometimes.

Even though it's the most hypocritical and ridiculous thing in the world.

But, as my buddy Mr. Sinatra used to sing, That's Life!

Again, in my opinion, you don't have enough experience or understanding to marry a woman until you're both past the age of 30. Probably longer.

If you have needs, they are not something to be ashamed of. You're starting to fall into the same social pressure trap, where you are more concerned with women's opinion of you than the reality.

Men who want sex and are not shamed and reduced to porn addiction are what women want. But men who are made to believe that they're "bad" or "dogs" for a healthy sex drive are also being misled. This is one of the dilemmas I discuss in the Secrets of the Alpha Man.

Men AND women both want sex. Women are just programmed to be hard to get, while men are programmed to be the chasers. This has its roots in evolutionary psychology, which you can also learn in my programs.
All you can do is assure her that your feelings are genuine (but don't go promising to love this girl or marry her just to nail it!). And then you see if she is really going there, or if she has this "prude" programming stuck in her brain.

If you need more than she's giving, remember it's not HER fault.

But it is your fault to keep going back to a dry well when you're thirsty and need a drink, if you know what I mean.

Don't blame her for not giving you what you want. Just move on. Let her know in very nicely stated terms that she's a great girl, you respect her decision, but you need physical intimacy.

Then move on.

Do it with a gentlemanly grace and humility that will not turn her into a vindictive beast. And you never know, she might be back later when she figures out that her social programming is a farce.

If you're genuinely concerned about her spreading vicious rumors about you, you can invent an excuse that makes sense.

Then move on and enjoy the best years of your life!

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Carlos Xuma on the radio... again...

Hey... I just did an interview with Robert Martin, my good buddy of great fitness...

You can listen to the webcast HERE

And if you'd like to see Robert's fitness system, you can check it out HERE...

Enjoy!

- CX

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

How do you stop the game playing?

Carlos Xuma's Dating Advice for Men: How to Stop the Game Playing...

QUICK TIP:
> Many guys feel that their ability with women is often
> ruined by having to play a bunch of social games
> along the way.
> Some of them are avoidable, and some are not.


If you're in a hurry:
To find out how I deal with "social games," just click this:
http://www.powersocialskills.com
______________________
QUESTION:

Hey Carlos,

I've been going out the last few weeks and meeting
people as a way to improve my social ability. I try
to get out at least two times a week to meet new
people, get some phone numbers, meet new women, etc.

Something I've noticed is that there is a lot more going
on in conversations than just the words. I mean, when I'm
talking with people (men, women, whoever) I find that
they are always playing this kind of tug-of-war with me
for control in the conversation.

Women like to play it for certain things, and guys want to
play it for power and status.

What's your take on this?

Can I get past the games?

- J
California
______________________
CARLOS XUMA EXPLAINS SOCIAL GAMES:


You know, if there's one thing I hear all the time, from both
men AND women, it's "Why do we have to play all the
games?!?"

And you're right, men and women both play different kinds
of games with others. But surprisingly, they both want and
need a certain level of "ego-stroking" in their games.

The reasons we play games are nearly infinite, but they
all track back to some very common needs as human beings.

For one, we all need APPRECIATION.

Think of how much work you go through in life just to squeak
out a little appreciation or acknowledgment from other people.

It's really amazing when you think about it.

And the funny thing is that we all want this appreciation so
much that we hold it back from others, because we're so
starved for it.

And then what does this do? Yep, that's right. It creates this
universal shortage in the amount of pats on the back or
compliments given out there in the world.

And the less there is, the less people give, and the spiral
goes down and down and down....

That right there is a game all of its own. Have you ever
caught yourself doing that? I know I have.

(I just created a program about this, by the way. You can go
see it here: http://www.powersocialskills.com )

You may already know that I'm a martial arts instructor, and
we are known for being critical and very stingy with praise.

In fact, there's a joke about it that goes like this:

Q: How many martial arts teachers does it take to screw in a
lightbulb?

A: Five. One to screw it in, and four to tell him how he's doing
it wrong.

(You guys that take martial arts will probably relate to that one
quite well...)

These games we play all come from our inner needs and
emotional desires. And sometimes games just come up
because of the differences in approach between people.

- Some people are confrontational... but most are not.

- Some people like to talk about themselves... but some prefer
to be more discreet.

- Some people like to approach women directly... and some prefer
to do it more indirectly and cautiously.

There are good social games, and there are unhealthy and BAD
social games.

Now, as far as social games are concerned, there's one thing
I've noticed as being true in almost every interaction I've studied.

In fact it's pretty much a universal rule, and one that's been backed
up by studies everywhere...

It's this:

The person with the best social skills and ability to handle social
games is the person who typically gets what they want.

AND that person is also the one who gets more success in life
in all the ways we typically think of as "REAL" success.

More happiness, more friends, better love life...

It flows together because there is one thing that is FOR SURE:

You MUST deal with other people. And you can't reprogram them
to turn their "game playing" switch off.

So you must develop options.

Now this newsletter could go on forever on this topic. So what I
did was to write up 3 of these "game playing" personalities for
you. These three are the most dangerous types that play the
games that are NOT healthy.

That's why you have to see them coming and know how to
handle them.

You can go read this report here:
http://www.powersocialskills.com


I'll be back with more advice soon ...

Your friend,

- Carlos Xuma

PS: If you have any problems, just copy and paste this link in your
Web browser to read more:
http://www.powersocialskills.com

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, January 13, 2008

How to Seduce a Hot Woman -

QUESTION:

FMAC. Find, Meet, Attract, Close.

So, say you found and met the girl. You've kept her interested and it's gotten to the point where she's the one approaching you to talk to you. She's hot, but that means that there's a lot of other "macho guys" (Varsity Basketball, Baseball, etc guys) who are hitting on her at the same time.

How do you turn that casual interest into seduction and go further?

At the same time, how do you deftly handle the guys who hit on her (who may take her at any moment) without making enemies, but at the same time wrap up the girl?
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

I find this FMAC model is a big over-simplification of the process.

There are a lot of smaller steps in between that must be paid attention to, and when you get over the need to hit a home-run every single time (a very frequent mistake when you're new to this game), you can get back to basics.

The questions you ask are far too general and big to answer in a simple email or blog post, but let me give you an idea of how this works:

1) Dial up the tension.

Whatever you're doing, chances are you haven't gone far enough to create real sexual tension. Most guys are too afraid of "ruining it," and as a result they never quite get women as riled up as they need to.

If you aren't blowing out women, then you're probably playing it too safe.

2) Move forward with MANY girls.

I never get tired of saying this.

Date Other Women!

If you're focusing on ONE girl because she's SO special, you're distorting reality. Amazingly enough, with almost 3 billion or more women on this planet, I can assure you that there are many women better than the one you've miraculously uncovered.

The more you create an abundance mentality for yourself, the more you'll find yourself living in abundance. This is something most people NEVER discover.

3) Ignore the other guys.

Yes, you heard me. Ignore them.

Paying attention to the competition is always a losing battle.

I guarantee you that the top performers in EVERY sport do not get to be good just by focusing on the competition or what the 'other guy' is doing.

They focus on themselves and improving their own brand.

Focus on the only part of the equation you can control - YOU. Don't get caught up in the losing battle of trying to destroy every other guy's game. If you've got game, you don't use it for harm.

Besides, women only care about the LEADER. If you're a leader, you automatically step away from the pack and become your own man, someone she can respect and desire. If she needs to pit you against the other rabid dogs in the pit, you've probably chosen poorly.

And always remember, women WANT to be seduced.

They DO NOT want to be USED.

And rightfully so...

If you want to learn how to seduce women the right way, I suggest you start with my Dating Black Book, and then take the next step in my educational series for men by going to The Secrets of the Alpha Man.

That's how you succeed - by getting educated...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Carlos Voted One of The Top Coaches of 2007

Hey, you might dig this. I know I did.

I've been voted one of the top pickup coaches of 2007 by the Seduction Chronicles.

You can take a look at the post here:

http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/top-dating-coaches-of-2007/

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

How Do You Keep Up The Tension In a Relationship?

Carlos, I love the newsletters and the information has changed my life.

I do have one question. I have been married for 20 years and during that time I turned into a wimp. My wife lost interest in having sex with me, and I tried to change into what she said she wanted (which we know does not work) and eventually I was ready to leave.

Since I started using your materials things have improved a lot and I no longer require her approval or do most of the non-Alpha behaviors. Sex has improved, but not to the level where I can say that I am satisfied. Your materials are mostly geared towards the early stages of relationships.

What advice do you have for someone who is trying to recover an existing relationship? I would like to salvage this relationship, but I don't know if I can reclaim all that I lost from my Beta behavior. I am not totally clear about how Alphas should change when they are at the stage of keeping a woman attracted for an extended period.

It's worth it for me to salvage this marriage, but not at the cost of what I really want out of life.

Thanks for all your wisdom.

N.B.

______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

There's a certain amount of work that you have to be willing to put in, and also work with a third party (professional) to help you with some of the issues. Just be careful that this counselor or therapist does not compromise your Alpha Masculinity.

My advice for you is to:

1) Stay consistent and do NOT regress to your old Beta behavior.

The big mistake most guys make is that they change their behaviors with the prevailing winds, trying to play "will you like me" with everyone, and winding up not very likable.

Just stay true to your own power, your own Alpha masculinity FIRST and FOREMOST.

If you can't come from your own core of inner confidence, you can't really be strong for anyone.

2) Jack up the sexual tension between you and your wife.

One thing I've noticed that I advise all guys in long term relationships to do is to really play around and game your partner. You have to avoid the trap of "getting along" all the time. You have to give her a hard time, tease her, and generally be playful again. This is the KEY to all long term relationships with women.

And yes, this sometimes mean you will both flirt with members of the opposite sex. Trust me when I say that beyond the mini-drama she might have with this (or you, for that matter) it's GOOD for a relationship to play with the sexual tension.

3) Continue to work on your Alpha Behaviors and Lifestyle.

The best way I can explain this to you (there's not enough room here) is to point you to this information.

You need constant perspective about your life and the viewpoint from an Alpha Mindset. That's what I give you...

You're on the path. The key now is to stay strong and show her REAL change.

And while you're at it, you should study the Alpha Lifestyle. That's what I'm talking about most of the time...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, January 07, 2008

Does a Woman Need You to Fix Her Problems?

Hey Carlos,

In the Alpha Rules, you talk about how an Alpha man fixes things, including women's problems.

But in the past, you have said that women talk just to talk, and that they don't want a man to fix their problems. That they get mad and resent it when he does try to fix their problems.

This seems like a direct contradiction and confuses me. Can you please clarify this for me?

Thanks
D.S.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Ah, yes. When we talk about how women want things, there will always be dilemmas like this to confuse you.

Women are like a Zen koan. They may seem contradictory, but that's because things are not black and white in real life.

Women do like to talk just to work through their emotions, but that is a very specific form of talking that is also a specific situation.

Remember, Grasshopper, not all women will respond the same way all the time. You have to be willing to recognize that sometimes you'll have to "feel out" the situation and trust your instincts.

When a woman is emotionally venting about something that is bothering her, this is where you just let her talk to talk. She doesn't need you to resolve everything for her (which is how most guys make their first mistake, thinking that she needs a rescuer right then.)

If she's complaining, let her complain. Let her vent.

Women use talk as their own inter-personal therapy (which more guys ought to leverage). Guys take most of women's talk WAY too seriously.

BUT there is another side to this, and that is when you see that a woman does need a man to step in and fix things on occasion.

The key is to recognize WHEN to do it and when NOT to.

If a problem is resurfacing for a woman on a regular basis, you can bet that she needs some help with it. If you hear a situation come up more than once, you should consider it an area of concern.

You don't just jump in and grab the wheel away from her, though. Rather, you ask her if she'd be "interested in a little advice."

(In fact, I often "change my mind" about giving the advice to see if she is really into hearing it. If she is, she'll press me for my insights. If not, she'll let it drop.)

And then you can present a solution for her to use.

However, one of the manipulative games we play is when we offer our "help" to someone, not to genuinely HELP that person, but to subtly manipulate them, or satisfy our own needs for recognition and attention.

(I cover this EXTENSIVELY in my new program: Power Social Skills. Click here for more info...)

Something else you should be aware of:

Don't get attached to the thought of her actually using your advice. It's been my experience that guys will get all pissy if she doesn't actually do what you tell her she oughta do. Don't be surprised if she says it's a fantastic idea and then proceeds to do absolutely nothing.

If you actually NEED her to DO exactly what you say, then you're being controlling, not compassionate and guiding. And then, yes, she will resent your intrusive problem-fixing. And it's unlikely that she's going to ever take your advice if she suspects that this is where you're coming from with your solutions.

On the other hand, if you can chill and present her with a solution, and then step back and let it go, you might see her use your advice.

But if she doesn't, don't get all "I told you what to do!" on her. That's another way to disconnect from her and push her away.

You see, women only resent men that try to fix their problems if that man is trying to do it with his EGO.

If you can let go of your own need to get your ego stroked and you can keep a calm distance from her problem, she may be interested in hearing it.

Start by hearing her out and then checking in to see if she's solved her problem. If it keeps going, that's an opportunity to offer some guidance. As long as you don't come from a "I know best" ego-boy posture.

Make sense?

When you're in the right mindset, not needing to "adjust" her life to make you feel good about your own, you'll find women are most responsive to you.

If you'd like to know a little more about this mindset, you can read more here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, January 06, 2008

How Do You Handle Racism in Dating?

Hey, Carlos. I love the stuff you put out weekly. I've really gotten into more of the dating strategies you provide all us "normies". This second language in your articles is just the answer a former love of mine always withheld. It's nice to know for I can evolve and learn the hows and whys of my mistakes.

I live in an area that is a bit race-oriented, where certain nationalities will only date certain other nationalities, and is a stereotype that nearly all women (that I notice) follow. (It's Asian girls w/ Asian guys) It seems that not many of these girls (let alone girls outside this race) like white guys such as myself, due to history, parental instruction, and overall distaste. The problem is, I am attracted to these girls on a physical level! I'm not sure I can break the stereotype or overcome their harsh thinking of white guys. Where do I begin?

______________________
CARLOS XUMA RESPONDS:

This is a tough one. The race card is a difficult one to crack because it speaks to the essence of a lot of people's identities. As you can see in the news, nationalism gives us a sense of identity that is easy to fall back on because of shared birthright, appearance, etc.

Not only that, but you also have to fight the influence of this girl's peer group, which I'll confess will be a royal bitch. Not to mention the racism that's apparent.

Your first step would be to target this girl's friends and start to break down their belief system regarding white guys. It's an uphill battle. But it can be done. Drill down into their beliefs and show them that their thinking is not as accurate as they think.

Good luck on that...

My recommendation is to seek out a different hood where you can reach people with open minds and open hearts.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Carlos Appearing Tonight in Marin County, CA

SINGLES TO BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN THE SEXES AT MARIN SINGLES CONVENTION

Adult singles of all ages are invited to The Marin Singles Convention, Saturday, January 5, 2008, 7:30pm-Midnight, at Servino’s Ristorante, Upstairs Banquet Room, 9 Main St., Tiburon.

“This is Marin’s largest annual gathering of romantic eligibles,” says Rich Gosse, Producer of the convention. “We hold it on the first weekend of each new year, because the Number One New Year’s Resolution of Singles is to find a romantic partner. 96% of all New Year’s Resolutions get broken within the first two week, according to one national survey. Our convention will help prevent them from happening with our singles.”

CARLOS XUMA will present the Keynote Address: “Bridging the Gap Between Men and Women.”

He will reveal The Three Elements of Dating:
What HE is thinking.
What SHE is thinking
What THEY both want and NEED TO KNOW

Carlos Xuma is the Founder of Dating Dynamics and author of Get Your Man!, (the definitive women’s guide to finding the right mate); and Dating Black Book (for Men). He has been featured by View from the Bay (ABC Channel 7, San Francisco); Sacramento & Co. (ABC Channel 10, Sacramento); and numerous other TV, radio, and internet media. Mr. Xuma is available to the news media for interviews. His websites are www.datingadviceguru.com (for women) and www.datingdynamics.com (for men).

The Marin Singles Convention is sponsored by The Society of Single Professionals, the world’s largest non-profit singles organization. It begins with the Keynote Address at 7:30pm, followed by a Dance Party, 9pm-Midnight. Admission is $20 at the door, which includes both the seminar and dance party. Coat & tie/dressy attire are recommended.

Anyone wishing more information may visit www.ThePartyHotline.com or call 415/507-9962.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Approach Anxiety - Shy Guy Success With Women

New- Approach Anxiety - Shy Guy Success With Women

How to overcome your "shy guy" situation and approach anxiety with women... The point is to get success with women, and this feeling robs you of your opportunities.

I've been getting a lot of questions about "approach anxiety," especially with guys' experiences at all these New Years parties. The fact is that this feeling of not being able to walk up to a woman and talk to her is more common than you think. AND it's a "Compound Emotion" - something I explain in this article.

How does the Shy Guy get Success with Women?

Go read it the article NOW...

Approach Anxiety - Shy Guy Success With Women

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Carlos Xuma Appearing Saturday In Marin County...

SINGLES TO BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN THE SEXES
AT MARIN SINGLES CONVENTION


Adult singles of all ages are invited to The Marin Singles Convention, Saturday, January 5, 2008, 7:30pm-Midnight, at Servino’s Ristorante, Upstairs Banquet Room, 9 Main St., Tiburon.

“This is Marin’s largest annual gathering of romantic eligibles,” says Rich Gosse, Producer of the convention. “We hold it on the first weekend of each new year, because the Number One New Year’s Resolution of Singles is to find a romantic partner. 96% of all New Year’s Resolutions get broken within the first two week, according to one national survey. Our convention will help prevent them from happening with our singles.”

CARLOS XUMA will present the Keynote Address: “Bridging the Gap Between Men and Women.”

He will reveal The Three Elements of Dating:
What HE is thinking.
What SHE is thinking
What THEY both want and NEED TO KNOW

Carlos Xuma is the Founder of Dating Dynamics and author of Get Your Man!, (the definitive women’s guide to finding the right mate); and Dating Black Book (for Men). He has been featured by View from the Bay (ABC Channel 7, San Francisco); Sacramento & Co. (ABC Channel 10, Sacramento); and numerous other TV, radio, and internet media. Mr. Xuma is available to the news media for interviews. His websites are www.datingadviceguru.com (for women) and www.datingdynamics.com (for men).

The Marin Singles Convention is sponsored by The Society of Single Professionals, the world’s largest non-profit singles organization. It begins with the Keynote Address at 7:30pm, followed by a Dance Party, 9pm-Midnight. Admission is $20 at the door, which includes both the seminar and dance party. Coat & tie/dressy attire are recommended.

Anyone wishing more information may visit www.ThePartyHotline.com or call 415/507-9962.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men