DATING ADVICE TRIPLE THREAT:

We've got a ton of new stuff for you this weekend... starting with Audio Coaching Session 23 ...

Go check it out HERE

Oh, and there's a new podcast, guys... Go get it...

As for the third part of this Triple Threat... it's coming soon. Or maybe it's already available...

Hmm....

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Why do women like Bad Boys?

C wrote in this weekend from the shores of Hawaii to give us this little insight into the Bad Boy persona...

----

Attention all intelligent men, there is a crisis at hand – beautiful eligible women are being swept away by beasts masquerading as real men.

Women are often attracted to “bad boys” because they are aggressively pursued by them.

What women want is to be wooed and wowed by men. Unfortunately, too many women are falling prey to these “thug loves” -they usually end up emotionally and sometimes even physically abused.

These so-called “bad boys” are winning women over simply because they are assertive, confident, cocky, and competitive. In of itself these are not all bad traits, but mixed with the definition of a bad boy: selfish, dishonest, arrogant, abusive, irresponsible…

The bad boy image is not something that men should strive to achieve. Once you’re labeled as a bad boy, it’s a hard persona to shake.

Basically, everyone is walking around like an advertisement for who she or he is.
First impressions are vitally important. If all someone sees is cocky and arrogant – than boom that’s your brand.

A woman I met recently at a cocktail party leaned into me, eyed me coyly, and uttered in a somewhat slurred and raspy voice, “why is it I always fall for the bad boys.” She then proceeded to tell me about an arrogant garish man she met at a café in London.” I was sitting alone enjoying my tea, when James and I met. He looked at me and I melted, he then said “what are you looking at you stuck-up American Bitch.” That was it she said, in an even more slurred and vacant tone “I was in love.” For added effect, she feigned fainting.

I found this fascinating; if a guy said that to me I would perhaps be speechless, (it happens) I would certainly not be attracted to him- but rather disgusted. I have never felt any frisson of attraction with an overtly bad boy.

Her story rapidly deteriorated. They ended up dating for 6 months, he treated her horrible and it finally ended when he hit her. Awful. So yes, some women will fall for and stay with bad boys. Obviously, these women lack sound judgment and have major self-esteem issues. Hopefully, not anyone’s ultimate goal in a date, even if you are only looking for a one night stand. Sure, you may score, but…

Most women do not want to be crudely manipulated by men. That’s not to say that all manipulation is bad – it just needs to be subtle and caressing like a masseur- not whipped into submission like a hunk of abalone...


Men are so much more alluring when they have a combination of confidence intertwined with that cocky/ funny thing and frosted with a sort of sexy vulnerability. Women do not want to be with men who are known players. Being with a man who is a player does not satisfy our ego.

I like well-rounded men that have a bit of a twisted sense of humor, are inherently kind, interested and versed on political, psychological, and spiritual matters.

Oh yea, and a bit naughty…

You see, it’s all about the fine art of balance.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION ADVICE QUESTION:

Dude, last night at a party, this girl was all over me - following me around, feeling and kissing me, etc. Every time I tried to leave, she would pull me back and keep me from going anywhere. She would even try to smooth my brother over right in front of me, as though to see my approval.

My buddy was trying so hard to get with her all night. He recently made out with her, but I have a few times before, so this girl has a past. Anyway, I finally got up and told him to sit next to her where I was just cuz he was practically on top of me trying to get at her. I was as care free as possible, but the next thing I know, she was touchy feely, kissy with him! What is that?

Furthermore, my other friend asked her if shes a cocktease straight up. She shrugged and asked him what he thought. He replied with if you don't go upstairs with my friend, I'll say yes. Next thing I know my buddy and her go upstairs. After they come back down, she tried to hug me goodbye and I denied her.

Finally, I see her all over two other friends of mine before she leaves. I understand she probably just wants attention, but where did I go wrong so I can fix it? I mean, I tried not caring and it basically backfired on me.

---------
CARLOS:

You should have said if you go upstairs with "me" instead of "him."

Never challenge a woman to do something with another guy. Only with you.

Second, just like Yoda says, you can't "try" to not care. You either do, or you don't.

There is no "try."

This chick is a player and a 'Ho.

You're better off moving on to a girl who won't try manipulating you with such obvious tactics.

There's a time to not care, and there's a time to take her by the hand and go where you want to go with her. She probably got sick of waiting for you to go forward.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

MOTTO:

I saw this on an email signature. I like it:

If I don't like something about me, I'll change it. If you don't like something about me, F*ck You.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN:

Hey Carlos,

As I sat thinking of my new successes, and how much easier the drama of this dating thing is getting, I do realize something that is still kind of difficult that I am sure other guys might find challenging as well. The question that came to mind is: What do you do when you're in an enviornment (such as work or school or whatever) that you used to be a pure AFC in, but now you want to turn it around.

Like for me, I may be different, but feel as though my reputation at work is all ready ruined and it would stop me from any success with the ladies there. I mean I can kind of see it at bs because just being at the store last night on base, a girl from work waved at me, I approached, asked what's up. She was drinking like I was and chilling. Told me she was having a little party in her room, and guess who got invited? But still there are other times that it seems like you're all ready finished before you start because of previous impressions you may have made.

Mainly the kind of impressions I've made is the silent, unconfident type. Any ideas on turning this scenario into a man's favor? I am sure it is the results that they were getting in their social circles which were unsatisfactory, that compelled men to first seek your material, so they can change it.

Thanks for your work as always. It really makes a difference.

-M
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CARLOS:

Ah, yes, re-establishing your reputation can be tough. There's the old "once a chump, always a chump" stigma.

You're right. It's a long hard road to changing what people think of you, because they already experienced the "old" you, and they believe that.

Take note guys:
This is why you cannot be anything less than a confident, capable man when meeting a woman for the first time and dating her those first few times. First impressions STICK.

And it's also why you can't easily reclaim an old girlfriend that you chumped out on. We become very attached to our psychological impression of someone. I believe this was an evolutionary defense mechanism against forming bonds with people who would not help us stay alive.

So the key here is NOT to try.

1) If you try, you look like a suck-up. A sycophant. A toadie. And you'll find it even HARDER to show them you have changed. After all, if you're really confident now, why would you need them to see it? You'd just BE it.

2) People will only change their opinion of you by long exposure to your new habits and behaviors.

But the good news is that it DOES happen. Just be CONSISTENT.

That's a lot of what I teach in the Alpha Man program.

You can't be on one day and off the other. You must be the MAN every day.

You must demonstrate High Social Value (HSV) in every social situation you encounter, both with men AND women.

High social value isn't some vague concept. It's a literal definition of your value to your friends. And it can only be SHOWN through action. Never words. (Unless those words are indirect.)

I'll cover this concept in the future in the Audio Coaching, and maybe a bit in the Podcast, too.

But if you want to turn this in your favor, you have to utilize the "silent" part of what you say they thought of you. You were once silent, but you must now become vocal.

Demonstrate that you have opinions.

Demonstrate that you do not take sh*t from any man, woman, child, or small furry mammal.

Demonstrate High Social Value in your interactions with others. This means not taking ANY kind of verbal abuse. (And you'd really be amazed to know just how much verbal abuse is being doled out through the use of put-downs and sarcasm.)

The best thing to do is to isolate and destroy. Find one or two people that make good sense to turn around and work on them. Isolate them, and then begin to impress on them your newfound power and social strength that you've learned from the Alpha Man program.

Don't try to do this in a group setting or situation.

One by one, they'll come around.

C

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

I had a great date last night, that went well from the start, this girl barely had any "red flags" it was amazing! This was our first date and we made out a little bit at the end of the date.

I have two questions first should I call the next day since we made out (not sex) and second this girl seems too good to be true. How much time should I wait before setting up another date?

I want to be around her all of the time and I know this is not good! But should I at least make a call today since we did make out last night?

Thanks for all of the amazing advice - this keeps getting better and better!

----------
CARLOS:

Ah, yes! Good going!

Give her a call, but try to NOT reach her.

Yes, you heard me. Try to get her voicemail and leave a quick message.

"Hey, it's Carlos. I just wanted to let you know that you were great company last night, and I had a great time." (Note that I did not say, "I hope you did, too!" Barf. Assume she had the time of her life.) Then finish with, "I'll talk to you soon..."

Talk slowly and seductively. Give her no hint of when she'll hear from you again.

You want to give her something to dream about and imbed your memory even deeper in her mind and emotions. It will warm her heart up.

Then, wait another day or so and call her up again (if she hasn't called you by then because she'll be crazy wondering when you two will get together again.)

Tell her you want to meet her at this place and at this time to pick up where the fun left off from the last time.

If you should get her, just tell her the same thing, and tell her you have to run. Ask her when she's available to talk again. Get a time and day. Tell her you'll TRY your best to reach her then. You gotta get going... bye...

Don't make it sound like you're trying to get rid of her, but that someone is waiting on you.

That should work.

Oh, and stop thinking YOU'RE the lucky one here. That's how you lose posture - and lose her, too.

Remind yourself that SHE got lucky by being a good date and fun, and she also lucked out by being compatible and your type.

The more you think of yourself as lucky you'll put her on a pedestal and start to lose your confidence and cool calmness.

Trust me, you DON'T want to be around her all the time. That's your sense of novelty talking.

Have you ever found a dish at a restaurant that you LOVED? Have you ever tried to eat it for every meal, seven straight days in a row?

It all gets old, dude. The key is to keep your head about you and control your thinking.

By the way, no woman is too good to be true. She’s got something you won’t like. Just remember that and keep a healthy mental distance.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN - QUESTION:

If you are interested in a girl, do you ever use her friend to get her?
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CARLOS:

Short and to the point. I like that.

Short answer:

YES.

Absolutely.

I'm very Machiavellian about this sort of thing. (Look that up in the dictionary, guys.)

You gotta be cunning to get ahead. Mind you, I don't mean to use or mistreat other people, only to use your wits to keep you on top of your life.

There are some advice guys out there that may tell you to follow your heart, or toss out spiritual advice, but they also forget to tell you that you need to have a strong backbone to pin that heart on.

Follow your heart AND your head. They all work together.

Back to the long answer:

YESSSSSS. You use the friend. But not just USE. You leverage her for your betterment.

1. You talk up her friend and make friends with her. Not "acquaintances." FRIENDS. Genuine.

2. Make sure you don't accidentally get the friend into you. I get a lot of guys who do this. How does this happen? You're interested in her friend, so you do all the RIGHT things with the wrong girl, like relaxing, not pressuring her or trying to get into her pants, so she starts to want the guy who isn't trying to push her into a relationship. Funny how that works.

3. Casually mention your interest. Let her friend offer to help you out. Don't ask her to! Let it come about naturally from the goodness of her heart. Remember, you want the friend on your side.

And use any and all means necessary to get the women you want.

That's the ultimate "romantic" statement to a woman.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION ADVICE FOR A POSSIBLE ALPHA MAN:

Hey, I hope you are great! Am writing all they way from Nairobi, Kenya. Thanks a lot for your stuff man, be assured its touching people worldwide!

Now, am a 20 year old university student, and honestly, before I came across your stuff, I used to be quite alright with the girls. I used to be a king of sorts with them, but now, after your tips, I am THE KING! The Mack baby! Not one among many, The One!

My question is, there is this nice girl am chasing on campus. She gave me her number and all, but she wasn't really responding, so I sent her a couple of cocky funny and insensitive jokes on her cellphone, just to see wassup. She didn't respond.

Surprisingly, she did pick the phone when I called, but she doesnt want to meet me like for a date (the text messages freaked her out). I laughed, stayed cheerful, told her it was my bad, and told her to have a great day, and then I hang up. Now, I know I have value in her eyes, she always sees me with beautiful female company, she loves my cologne, and she thinks am a serious dude.

Should I try her again? I know the phone should only be used to get us to meet, but? Or should I completely abandon ship? Coz am not going to get one-itis, I aint gonna believe that she is so important that I need to chase her all over. Tell me where I stop... She seems nice company, n I wouldn't mind a long-term relationship like for a month or two or somethin!

They say one of the qualities of the Alpha man is persistence, but does that mean I call her up again and again and try to meet her and be sweet? Or is she just playin hard to get? Coz if she didn't want to talk why did she pick up my call anyway?

Also, what do you think about dates? How much should a guy spend before he gets any? Should he spend at all?


But I'll say, I would NEVER have learned ALL this, not this early in life without your help man. I am where I am in the dating world, largely due to your stuff.
You've definitely had a positive influence on my life. And thats amazing...

-P
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CARLOS:

First off, it's great to hear from a loyal fan. I get a lot of these emails, but yours wins today's "excited to be alive" award.

However, in spite of your excitement, it appears you have freaked this girl out with your messaging. Yet another of the reasons I tell guys to not try to convey humor anywhere except in person. YOU may know you were joking, but text messages (and emails) do not carry your tone of voice, so it's very hard to figure out what is joking and what is not.

If she thinks you MIGHT have been serious, that's enough to kill her attraction.

Ya dig?

Let's redefine persistence here...

It's persistence to get the goal you want - in a broader context.

It SHOULD be Success with Women.

NEVER success with THIS woman.

Do you see the difference?

One gets you the right attitude, the other gets you an unhealthy preoccupation and probably police charges for stalking.

What you did was show something I call social ignorance. I used to do these things ALL the time, not realizing that I was freaking people out with my wild personality. I thought I was just being cool, and maybe a little devil-may-care, but I was alienating my friends because they didn't know how to read my intentions.

Well, after I figured it out, I started paying attention to what my words and actions were communicating. I was amazed at how much I was misinterpreted.

You see, people won't go through the effort to get to know you if they don't have to. They'll make their snap judgment as fast as they can so they can get back to their already over-busy, over-committed lives.

This is the reason stereotypes exist. They help us quickly sort people into groups that allow us to get on with the rest of our lives.

Word to the wise, you've got a lot of critical misunderstandings going on with respect to her.

If she was freaked out by the text messages and won't meet you for a date, you don't have value in her eyes. You lost it after the freak-out. Don't cloud your eyes from the Truth. Just because YOU see yourself as valued doesn't mean she does on an instinctual attraction level.

My suggestion - move on.

As for dates, spend only that which you can feel happy losing if she were to blow you off and never speak to you again. That's your barometer for investment.

Better question - What are you willing to invest in yourself?

Get The Secrets of the Alpha Man... it will help you immensely.....

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

ALPHA MAN QUESTION:

I've noticed recently that my cocky and funny and confidence from
reading your stuff has given me a good amount of popularity among
people in my college. Not just with girls, but male friends as well.

Within the past few months I have got A LOT of new friends added to
my phone and people often rely on me to plan and organize social
events and little group gatherings.

The problem is, there are so many people who want to hang out with me
its hard for me to find time for them or plan things with any of
the few groups I hang out with.

I know this question doesn't have a lot to do with dating. But more
towards the social life of an Alpha man.

How do I keep track of al these people? Its starting to get confusing
for me...

----------------------------------
CARLOS FEELS SORRY FOR YOU - NOT!

It feels good, doesn't it?

That sudden increase in your social network. Being in demand for
once...

And no matter what we may think about popularity, and how we turn
our noses at it, it sure does feel GOOD, doesn't it?

I used to be a real loner. I remember this time in high school when
I got a school jacket with our school colors and everything. Now, I
was a poor kid, and I couldn't afford to buy one, but apparently
they accidentally gave me one thinking that I'd ordered it.

I wore that jacket around and felt ... proud. I felt like I finally
belonged. I wasn't weird or different than the others around me. I
lost my teenage maladjustment for just a week or so. I got along
with people better and I felt more social.

And then they found me. The teachers realized I didn't buy the
jacket, so I had to give it back. After my disappointment, I
thought that I had just been acting that whole time. That gave me
the justification to going back to my old self again.

The reality was that my old self WAS the act.

And the other part of the reality was that nothing changed about
ME, just my thoughts.

It was my own insecurities and beliefs about my place in the school
pecking order.

For two weeks I was part of the "in crowd" based on this stupid
school jacket.

Funny, huh?

Now, it took me years to get over those feelings of inferiority and
insecurity, but I did. And when I did, and I discovered that I
could have as many friends as I wanted, I started to respond to
this sudden social wealth in my life by wanting to attend to it
all. Make sure no one slipped through the cracks.

Now, you gotta admit - this is a pretty good problem to have, isn't
it? Tons of friends and an active social life. (All from the stuff
you learned from me, but most of it was already inside you, my
young Paduan.)

Well, guess what? You don't have to keep track of everything and
organize it all. You can just go along for the ride.

Most guys WISH they had this problem in their lives, so I'm sure
I'll get emails about how all the readers want to start a charity
in your name.

Uh, yeah, sure.

Anyway...

Here's an idea or two for your social logistic problem - get a Palm
Pilot, or some kind of PDA. Keep all your contacts and numbers in
there.

Then, make THEM plan a few things. Unless you like being a party
organizer, I'd say you need to make sure your friends are aware
that they can plan a few events and get-togethers here and there.

Remember, too, I don't usually condone the whole "cocky/funny"
thing on its own. It can be a very shallow technique used on its
own. But, if it's used with a good sense of calmness and
confidence, you'll get the effect that you're experiencing.

You get a lot of new friends.

A wider social circle

More women in your life. (A little bonus...)

And all your free time gets used up because you're now socially
valuable.

That's what an Alpha Man is - socially desired.

He knows that it's not the anti-social jerk that gets to have all
the fun (and the women) in life, but the guy who's calm and
confident in his own skin, and can still be liked by others.

The Alpha Man also knows that self-development is the path to a
better life. It all starts with getting educated.

Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to better
choices. Better choices lead to better results.

And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of women.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

FROM "C" - YOUR INSIDER DATING ADVISER:

Here's a little post from my secret spy on the other side... A pussycat that's telling you tales from the Other Side...

-------

In order to understand what women want you have to have a basic understanding of our sophisticated and complicated psyche.

Have you ever noticed when you meet a woman’s gaze she demurely lowers her eyes. Do not mistake that for lack of interest, it often means she is being coquettish with you. Oh and by the way, if you look away first she will be intrigued.

Women are intuitive; we do not need to be taught, for example, that being unavailable boasts erotic appeal.

Sex is not all that complicated- if a woman finds you attractive and alluring, she will want to be intimate with you. If weeks or months pass and you have not found nirvana between the sheets, she is simply not interested.

Women are not intentionally ambivalent; it’s just that our emotional needs are vast and that is why we have girlfriends.

Speaking of girlfriends:

When a woman asks you how she looks in her new $150.00 jeans either lie or run for cover. Now if your gal looks fabulous, then by all means compliment away, women want and need accolades from their men.

If a guy is honest with a woman and tells her that’s not her color or heaven forbid she looks fat…. Ha. Nothing More. Game Over, Boyfriend, You Are History- Ah but not so fast, unfortunately for you, you will first be systematically emotionally pulverized, if you're lucky it could be just for a few more dates, or months or…

Now let me clarify something, women are brutally honest with one another. I had lunch with a close friend yesterday and before her derriere hit the chair she declared, “That color lipstick is awful for you.”

Bada- Bing, my new Chanel lipstick will meet an untimely death- to the trash it goes and my gorgeous girlfriend gets a hug and kiss for being honest and caring enough about me to tell me the truth. My apologies gentleman, I did not make up these rules!

Girlfriends are the key to our success and happiness. So if you go to a party and you see a woman you're attracted to that has many girlfriends, be glad, it’s the girlfriend-less women you should fear. As a matter of fact, if you meet a girl and things are going great and you find out she has NO girlfriends, run do not walk…
She inevitably has a missing link…



****
CARLOS: I would only add, guys, that if you do look away first, make it an INTENTIONAL look away, not an "I got caught" look away.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING AND SEDUCTION ADVICE QUESTION:

Your stuff is the brilliant! It has really OPENED MY EYES! I have seen a lot more positive responses from women since using your techniques and I’m lovin every second of it.

My life has been much more enjoyable since using your techniques and attracting women the way a guy should. I have run into a small problem though and would like to be enlightened by your expert advice…

I’m in a long distance relationship with this girl that I’m really into (she had to move away for her university studies). I saw her during the holidays again, but there was a lot of signs indicating distraction/guilt/shyness while she was with me. I don’t know why or what it meant. I would like to send her an email, but I want to send her a mail that can flip the situation around and get her to talk about what’s bothering her and open up to me. Any advice on the contents or approach would be much appreciated


Your grateful follower

C, from Arizona
-------
CARLOS:

First of all, stop trying to read signs and hidden signs and crop circles and mystical patterns in her actions.

THERE IS NONE.

There is only this one thing:

Is she responding to you? Are you getting progress?

Or, a better question: Are you TRYING to progress?

Most guys will spend years trying to read the arcane signs of her behavior, not realizing that they are going to change every 5 damn minutes.

Forget signs.

Just go after what you want.

A wimpy man tries to sit back and watch for hints and signs that he should move forward so he doesn't have to risk rejection.

The Alpha Man goes out and MAKES IT HAPPEN.

Those two are as different as night and day, my friend.

And you don't need her to "open up" to you. She'd do that if she felt like you were her girlfriend.

Is that what you want to be? Then go the therapy route.

Otherwise, let her deal with her problems. You're not even sleeping with this girl and you want to take on her problems?

No way, dude.

And forget trying to send email or regular mail with some clever something in it to get her to "open up."

LAAAAAAME.

She's probably boinking some dude. Or she's thinking about it.

That's why she's guilty. She knows she can't be satisfied with "long distance", and honestly...

Neither should you.

Sorry to be the wet slap of "REALITY" here, but it's true.

Long distance doesn't work. Trust me. Start getting a few girlfriends in your neighborhood. You're too young to turn into a wuss waiting for this girl to cheat on you and turn you into a crying shell of a former-man.

And get my Alpha Man program.

Right now. I'm dead serious. I address this kind of thing in graphic detail in there. It's the program that men everywhere have been waiting for to reclaim their masculine power.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN: Alpha Man Confidence

QUESTION:
I have all three of your books and some audio coaching. I have tons of other ebooks and audio CDs, but still use your stuff much more than the others. Probably like many of your customer/students I'm one of those guys whose doing well in all his areas of life except this one. Also, I relate to you better than the other authors in the sense that I take martial arts, did the relocation thing, live a complete life, self-improvement is a hobby, etc.


Could you tell me if I'm still a "nice guy" based on the following info?


-I'm normally polite and respectful to people. That is how I was raised. I sometimes say things at the end of a phone call like "take care" to a woman. It's not intentional. It's just how I am. I also like to pick up the tab sometimes when I'm with friends.


-At work I don't like many of my coworkers in the other branches and just keep to myself. They're much older and very difficult for the most part and my reputation at work is an "Asshole". Although the people who work in my branch all like me.


-I definitley don't supplicate or kiss a woman's ass. Actually, a woman a week ago emailed me on match.com, but when I asked for the # she said I don't give it out that easily, so I deleted her email and moved on. She wrote back a week later to follow up and I responded with "all the other women don't have problem with the phone. Good luck"(she was a 7/10, so no biggy)


-The Seduction Method suggested I post a picture on hotornot.com, so I did and my rating was 9.6.....but what does that mean??? I'm hotter than 96% of the guys on there is what it says, but what if all the guys are hideous? With that being said I had a girl email me at match.com and she writes I like your new pic. It's cute....Oh I mean handsome. Does cute mean nice? and does handsome mean masculine?


-Yesterday my karate instructor was asking me again if I would go to the seminar and I looked him in the eye and said that's asking too much of me to travel to LA from San Diego on a Sunday and that $$ is really tight right now. This is very true. It's not that I shot him down. It was how I did it and it was done with an attitude of I'd like to, but can't, so don't ask me again.


-I had a hot 19 y/o college volleyball player call me 3 days in a row after only speaking to her once. She left a message yesterday saying that she can't see me Sunday because she just got out of a 1 1/2 relationship and that her and the ex had a chat last night and things got heated and now I don't know what to do or what I want and I guess I need time alone.....but I liked talking to you and you seem nice. ......Ouch!!! on the "nice" part.


Anyway, I think I'm on the right path and since I've studied the Alpha Seduction book I carry myself differently.....like I'm the prize and I know it. My attitude toward the game has changed too. My skin is much thicker and I laugh at all the BS I experience these days.


When you get a chance some more details or examples of a what a nice guy really is that would be great as well.
Thx.
---------
CARLOS:

I read all those things you told me about yourself, and I'd have to say, NO, you're not a "nice guy" in the wimpy sense of the phrase.

BUT...

I can't be certain.

You know why?

There are a lot of things that communicate your dominance and assertiveness to a woman. She can figure out if you're an Alpha Man if you're just a little bit wimpy under all the bravado.

But I suspect you're probably not in danger of falling into this trap.

First of all, you ditch the women that play the stupid insecure games, like "earn my trust before I let you have my number."

Women love to pull this one out because they just love to get you to bow down and treat them like little princesses. American women have gotten this behavior down to a fine art, it seems.

So kudos to you for not falling for her game and cutting her off. That's the right posture.

As for your Hot or Not rating, don't listen to them when they say that you are hotter than X or Y people. It's purely a tool, just for figuring out which picture gives you the best presence. Don't get caught up in the comparative game.

Polite and respectful is absolutely fine, as long as you don't let others manipulate you into things like paying for the tab or things like that. Keep a good head about you and know when to say "NO" when it's in your best interest. But also remember that we're here on this rock together, and it's good to share the good times.

As for the hot volleyball player, I'd amp it up a notch with her if you still want to play with her ball. Her ex has the benefit of history with her, so you might want to sit it out, but here's another approach.

Get BAD BOY on her.

Call her up one night when you're in the neighborhood and get her out with you. Show her a fun time. Get a little wild with her. Shake her up. Show her that SHE is the one missing out by not being with you.

DON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THE BOYFRIEND!

Pretend he doesn't exist. When she talks about him, you change the subject and get her on a new train of thought and action. (I'll cover this more this weekend in the podcast.)

The only way to overcome an ex situation like that is to out do his electric charge on her brain.

Anyway, you're well on the way to Alpha Manhood. You're getting it. I'm really amazed at how the Alpha Man Program has changed things for so many guys out there.

Well... not really, I suppose. That's why I wrote it, after all.

(And if you're reading this now, and wondering, will the Alpha Program do this for me? YES. It will.)

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN - QUESTION:

Hi Carlos,

I think what you're doing is amazing, your book is a beacon of light in a stormy sea, the systems got pretty crazy with prickly picky women, decreasing birth rates we're well on the path to extinction and the people who should be booted out the gene pool are multiplying like bunny rabbits expect to see a blue fuzzy morlock in 10 generations! you should be nominated for the nobel peace prize for your work turning things around!!

But your dating black book is missing something, I've read it so many times, you need information on how to steal, not nice yeah I know, but competition is inevitable, it seems a beta thing to do backing down and sniffing around for scraps nobody wants! but it's important knowledge to have in case someone goes for the steal on a girl and learn counter moves. Can you write a chapter on it or something?

But what I really wanted to ask: I work as a postman I recently started a new round there's this shop where this really cute girl works. I want to get to know her better;) I was just going to say "hey thought you might make an interesting friend, I was wondering, do you want to go for a coffee sometime? then get her name, email/mobile number, sorted. I just keep it along the principles of KISS ( keep it simple stupid ) in and out quick before her brain clicks into gear and starts thinking, not trying smart cocky things.

Guess it is a bit like starting a car in second gear, once things get rolling then you kick it up a gear. I just wanted you're advice on the situation beforehand then I can't go wrong! What would you do! would this be the right way to approach in this particular situation ?

Thanks for your help, look forward to reading more of your books!

----
CARLOS:

Actually, I do give a little advice on stealing. It's everything I teach in the e-book! You see, if you use all that advice and polish your presentation, girls with boyfriends WILL want you.

Now, normally, I won't go into too much deliberate advice on stealing away a girlfriend.

Why?

1. It's really pretty easy. Any guy that's in a relationship has been "chumped" out to the maximum. Chances are he's so wimpy after caving in to her every whim he'd cry at a late night showing of "Titanic."

2. It's tough to trust a woman you stole from another guy, because ... well... she LET herself get stolen. You see, it's not HIS fault entirely. No woman ever really gets stolen. She just unlocks herself and starts waving potential thieves over.

There are more reasons, but in all fairness, you're right in a lot of ways, too. Alpha Men don't wait for scraps, and they go after what they want. But with a fair sense of balance that keeps them from getting all chumped out.

Here's what I suggest.

First of all, NEVER ask a woman to do anything. Tell her what you want first. Let her tell you if she needs to make a change or refuse. (Funny enough, it's this one thing that guys are so scared of that they rarely make a move for fear of being turned down. More on this in my new program coming soon...)

You've got a good angle in that you don't want to hang around too long, so getting in and out quickly is advantageous to keeping your posture.

Forget the "interesting friend" line. I know it's meant to come across as a challenge, but it doesn't really have a lot of impact. It's not that good.

Instead, just leave it up to her to guess why you're wanting to get together with her. If she asks you why, you just tell her you're looking at her as a possible candidate for your "coffee girl of the month" club. One lucky girl gets to get a free coffee with you. If she pushes the point trying to get you to "define" things clearer, take it away.

"Wow, you sure are pushy. I bet your boyfriend hates that about you. If you can't take a cup of coffee with me, you must be scared your boyfriend will find out you dig me. That's okay, I'll act normal. Just don't try to play footsie with me. See you at 9:00."

Keep moving forward, and don't let her try and corner you with clarifying your interest. As long as YOU keep going, she'll be able to tell herself that it wasn't her fault.

Yeah.

Right.

Just remember, women want to be swept away...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN:

QUESTION:

I have a couple questions. One situational, and one general. OK here goes:

1. I am dating multiple women as you suggest (my weekends are booked like a week in advance). There is one girl I liked but thought she had a bf. We went out to an amusement park, had fun, took a walk on the beach, started holding hands, but then as I went to kiss her, she pulled back. She turned to me and held my hands saying she had a boyfriend, but lol that I could kiss her cheek.

Basically I responded my saying I didn't care if she had a bf, that I was going for what *I* wanted, and that I was cool with whatever. The way home, we played a game of hers called "redlight" where whenever you stop at a red light, one person kisses the other. I know she is interested but has this bf.

This seems to be coming up a lot with the women I want. How do you handle a girl with a bf that you still want to pursue? She wants another date, so how should I proceed?

2. I've noticed that women don't return calls when you leave messages often. What exactly does this mean? It can't necessarily mean she isn't into you, because I've dated 2 girls this weekend who did this to me. I notice they usually answer when you call again another time.

Anyways, I now own all of your ebooks and am an Audio Coaching Subscriber. ... it is making me into such a player. I honestly feel like I can get any woman. Thanks so much.

-----
CARLOS:


You hit a few good things here that I'll talk about. Let's work the numbers...

1. You handled the boyfriend thing well. A lot of times a woman will use the bore-friend excuse to give her a license to do whatever she wants. She can have her cake and eat it too. She can make an excuse for her actions and still be warmly accepted back to him. Chances are the guy is a complete chump. If he wasn't why would she be looking for another guy?

Just remember, what she's doing to him, she'll do to you - UNLESS you can keep her challenged enough. A woman can't pursue another guy when she doesn't feel like she's got the one she's chasing. That's the key to keeping a woman with you.

But I digress.

Keep in mind that a girl will also cheat as a way to keep monkeying from vine to vine. She'll stick with one to keep her safe and secure until she's ready to trade up. (Hey, guys do this, too.)

It's emotionally insecure, but it just means that you know exactly how she's playing the game.

GO after her with a consistent level of challenge. Keep seeing other women. When she's driven crazy with desire and the jealousy of sharing you, she'll jump ship. You can't make her, or suggest it. It has to be her decision, or you'll be wondering forever if it was just her way of finding the next vine.

2. She doesn't return calls because:

- She's a woman (my personal favorite)
- She can't find her damn cell phone amidst all the makeup and crap in her purse
- She didn't recognize your number on her cell phone and enjoys GETTING messages (makes her feel wanted) but returning them is too inconvenient
- She ...

Oh, damn, dude, she's a WOMAN!!!

They never return calls. They want you to chase them, and they want YOU to take the initiative to GET them.

This is her way of seeing how much she'll own you when you fall into the routine of dating her regularly, as well as finding out how much energy you'll put into a relationship with her.

It's a TEST.

Plus, she could just be damn busy.

But don't bet on that one.

Just be persistent calling her (use my calling strategy from the audio coaching) and you'll do fine..

Rule of thumb - never leave messages. It leaves you a state of uncertainty, thus making you more susceptible to falling for her illusion of scarcity. YOU sit up waiting for her call, wondering where she is, who she's with, etc. etc. Thus also deepening the feelings of lust and attraction for her.

Her investment? Zero. Nada. Zilch.

Her return? Your obsession.

Not bad.

Instead, leave her a message telling her you'll call her back ... sometime.

Let HER sit and wait on your callback. Let HER get a little obsessed with you. I like that investment option better.

Or just keep playing it like you are and recognize that you'll have to go through this pattern every time.

Your call.

(No pun intended.)

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

A good word...

I like to post the good things people have to say, especially when they send it in and it's evident that they really get how this stuff works, and they're enjoying the benefits. I thought you guys might enjoy this. I'll put his question up soon as well...

READER COMMENT:

"The Secrets of the Alpha Man program has been the most rewarding and useful program that I have seen in the area of dating, women, seduction and life in general. I found that all of the programs and books out there are cool, but unless you all ready have the inner game that this program teaches, it is useless. I found myself not afraid of social interactions anymore, learning confidence isn't an owned trait, but something that must be worked at and achieved daily, and quit frankly that I can pursue any woman I desire.

"Imagine catching looks at church from the most beautiful girl you always like, but feared. Her smiling at you when your eyes no longer dart away faster than speedy gonzales when she catches you looking at her. I even found myself on a date with a girl who I knew had a boyfriend, and in a bold and daring move on the first date, I went for the kiss. Sure she stopped me, and limited to kissing her cheek (and she was kissing me too), but it wasn't as bad as I used to fear.

"I'd never have gone after a woman with a boyfriend in the past, and when it didn't work out, I was ultra cool about it like, "I don't need you. I like you, but don't need you." She responds by asking me on a 2nd date, and also is like, "I am SO going to hook you up with one of my friends."

"But she was only 1 of my 6 current targets, and the list grows daily. The most significant thing about this program is that is enabled me to finally have some balls and USE all of the information I'd been reading so much of on getting women. Now it is so simple.

"Is everyday perfect? No. Do I get nervous? Sometimes, but I act in spite of it. Gentlemen, trust in this program. Carlos is here to teach us what SHOULD have been taught to us by our fathers. It generates success in ALL areas of life. I can honestly testify this with all of my character."

- Amen, Brother! Thanks!

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Just wanted to let you guys know that I'm knee-deep in the mixing room, getting a fantastic new program ready for you. If you look closely here in the blog, you'll find a link to a sneak preview of what is to come.

This is going to be BIG.

Keep your eyes peeled, and check in here daily ... I will offer pre-orders to my subscribers and preferred customers first (you know who you are...) when it's ready, and they'll get the first shot at ordering.

C

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SEDUCTION ADVICE:

why do girls sometimes seclude themselves at social gatherings just to talk
to one another? and im not talking about mingling either. its more serious
talk once the party starts to wind down. is there something i can do to
break it up, or do i just let it go?
----------
CARLOS:

Now this is a cool observation.

When a party is winding down, the excitement has pretty much worn off. The women have seen all the guys, and there's nothing new to discover.

All they have to do is wait for their buzz to disappear and hope that the guys that got their phone numbers EARLY will call them up in the week.

So they sink into a social circle of drama.

That's really all there is left for them at the end of the night. And, it's best if you don't try to fight it or interrupt it. If you were still a candidate for them by that time of the night, they'd be wondering why the heck you're not talking to them earlier, and why you're the leftovers.

Just let them chat, go home with your happy little pocket full of phone numbers, and sleep tight...

Uh... you DID get a bunch of numbers, right???

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN: Approaching women and talking to women

Thanks for all the advice - you have helped me greatly improve my life!

I have been flirting- talking to a beer cart girl at the golf course where I regularly play. I finally asked her out with "some of us are going to (a bar we all know) later, you should come".

She said that she wasn't sure what she was doing later and said that yeah she would probably be going there later and that if she did she would come over and talk to me. I assume this is good news, we seem to have some chemistry, the main problem is that she is leaving in about a month and a half, so I need to make a good impression fast! How should I approach this one? If I see her at the bar I will just keep it friendly and have fun while trying to advance my cause.

But overall what should I be more aggressive because of the timetable or should I still play it somewhat cool? I have seen firsthand guys try to make aggressive moves on her and she doesn't respond real well to it. How should I handle this one or should I not give it much effort, I have mentioned the other girl, Staci, that I am seeing or whatever and have a couple other prospects as well. Any advice you could provide would be greatly appreciated!
------------
CARLOS:

Seek and destroy, dude...

What are your goals for this girl?

Pen pal?

Part-time girlfriend?

Long distance chick?

Just get laid?

I'd guess the last one is the closest of the set.

Your next step isn't to arrange coy encounters at the bar. You need to lead her to your goal.

Stop trying to make an impression. Impressions are chump food. A lot of guys run around with the mistaken belief that they should be trying to "impress" her in some way. I'm going to cover this in my new program for approaching women.

Watch for it ...

What you need to do next is get this bar-girl's number and get out with her right away.

Start by talking to her. Find out where her head's at with her so-called "not responding well" to other guys making aggressive moves. Find out what it is that's distasteful to her. And remember that 90% of the guys out there have NO REAL CLUE as to how to properly initiate attraction with a woman. You do now, and you should use this to your advantage.

I'll warn you that she might be looking to avoid entanglements with her departure coming up on the horizon, as you say. So you have to either go in at a harsh angle on this one, or just forget it.

Either way, she'll be gone in 6 weeks, so what do you have to lose?

No, REALLY.

Think about that. Let it motivate you to try something. What's the worst that could happen???

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN:

I have been flirting with a girl I have been friends with since the beginning of summer. I never took an interest in her until now. when I flirt with her she responds, but not in the same manner as newer girls. is there a different approach I need to try?

CARLOS:

Again, it's the friends first syndrome. You can't start out this way and turn it around easily unless she's REALLY into you from the start. The only thing that can be done is to push it to a decision point so that she knows she only has one way to go with you.

Get her out on a date, show her a fun time, make out with her, and see where you can go. Be willing to burn the friendship to get what you want.

Best bet is to have at least 2 other women for every "friend" you're trying to get. She has to feel how challenging you are.

That's my formula for maintaining the best attitude to ensure that you don't come down with "One-itis."

Remember, to get a romantic connection, you have to be willing to burn the "friendship" bridge behind you. You can't have them both until after you've got the fires of lust going.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

INVESTING TIME IN A WOMAN

COMMENT:
Here is a success story...

I had a few female friends from school (now that is some 10 years ago) that went abroad to foreign universities. Others went to Italy, others to Germany, other to the UK. What I did then (being all nice and wimpy and actually pretty good at becoming friends with women) was to keep contact with most of them. Now, when I mean contact that is about 1 call per 3 months or so. When they were coming back for holidays (that is christmas, easter and summer) they did call me to go out for coffee, drinks etc. All of this of course was happening with me labeled as friend, but there was a slight difference. We had no regular day to day contact.

And I think that this was the one thing that kept me from messing up my game back then. Anyway, the years passed, and in the mean time I got into figuring out what was the thing that was messing my game and started fixing it.

Got through a lot of stuff before I found (and stayed since then) a loyal reader of the great works presented here... (may sound like a compliment, but it's not :-).

So... during the last year, I used every bit of information contained into the Dating Black Book and preparing the ground for graduation and return to the homeland! Guess what... First girl to come back: seduction successful!

It took a month or so but it was worth it. Now I know that there are more to return, and i'll deal with every situation when it arises. In the mean time I 'll keep doing what I was doing: a phone call every now and then, a coffee meeting etc.

Trust me, when they return back after some years living abroad, the only thing they can think of is that only one guy kept on being interested in them was me. 4 phone calls and 3 meetings a year for a period of 5-7 years per girl. I came up to the conclusion that there is not wimp behavior, there is genuine interest, and it is indeed as low as it can get to maintenance cost.

And I think that the most critical of the success factors here is that I would not think about them but 3-4 times a year. And now that I am through with the Alpha Man program I know that this long term investment (which I now realize it was) is starting to pay off... BIG TIME!

Oh... I must add that this girl had a long term relationship when she was a student... that is why it took me a month. She finally realized that long-distance relationships do not work, and I was the only guy she knew back home. She had lost contact with virtually everybody else besides her family and a few girlfriends, which I now know that is the case with all the rest of the girls.

The conclusion? It's worth it. It's low maintenance. It's genuine interest. And she will call YOU when she's back.

There is only one regret...

Wish I knew all this stuff back then! But this is pretty much common right? Better late than never :)

D. H.
-------------
CARLOS:

Yes, once you get the "feel" for how an Alpha Man acts, you can let go of certain "rules" regarding how and when to contact women, or even how to keep them in your life.

You see, if you've got your Alpha Confidence where it needs to be, you'll have no problem giving the occasional compliment, or staying "in touch" with certain women.

Or even friendships with women.

What I've found is that inevitably women want me more after they know I've been in a "couple" and now am on the market for a while, as long as there was the right kind of sideline interaction keeping the spark of their hope alive.

Or if they've been away and now are back in the area. I can attract women simply by occasionally fanning the flames of their fantasies.

Oh yes, it can be done my fellow Alpha Men.

It's important to immerse yourself in a world that is FULL of women. You see that there's no scarcity, and there's no reason to act like you MUST HAVE THIS WOMAN.

Otherwise known as the dread disease "One-itis."

Keep working on your attitude, and keep the faith in yourself above all else.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Cliff's list seminar

Well, I really really really...


REALLY wanted to get to the Montreal Seduction seminar, but my current situation did not permit. I'm knee deep in production on something new and fantastic for you guys (listen to the podcast for more) and I just couldn't get away.

For those of you who do make it, please send us your field reports. It sounds big.

Cliff was on me for a while to attend and speak, but I just couldn't do it.

Maybe next time... sigh...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

New Podcast is up, guys!

New Dating Dynamics - Dating Advice for Men Podcast 7/17/2005 ---->

This week: The value of Gold and your attracting women, Willy Wonka, Cocky & Teasing women, leftovers at the party, emotionally caressing...

Click HERE for the MP3

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN

I saw this girl I hooked up with before, tonight. every time I talked to
another girl she watched me like a hawk and whispered things to her friends.
we flirted a lot after. her hands were all over me, then I just walked away
to talk to more girls. after, my buddy started flirting with her and hooked
up with her. I dont really care cuz im starting to meet so many girls
anyway, but is there a way to draw the attention back to me? I wanna know
for the future.

p.s. the alpha man program has helped me a lot. I'm scoring numbers left and
right, but am getting stuck on getting a meeting. I sense its because im not
too far in the book. does that make sense 2 u?
-------

CARLOS:

First, yes, you've only had the program a few days, so you do have to give it a little while for more success to set in.

(Sheesh, getting a ton of numbers but still not satisfied.. :)

The more your seduction skills settle into your lifestyle and your confidence increases, the more results you'll get. That's what I love about the Alpha Man program is that it enables you to not only attract women, but it has a cumulative effect on your life.

As for the girl you "don't really care" about, but obviously do care about, consider this for a minute:

If you want to get her attention, stop wanting it, and stop acting like you want it. You might think you're not doing anything to purposefully do this, but you probably are. It's involuntary and it will come across in your attitude. Stay focused on running the numbers.

Let the women show YOU who's worthy - and let them also eliminate themselves.

Survival of the fittest, dude.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

I want to bitch for a second...

Hey, I've been reading some newsletters from some guys that are driving me nuts. They all just whine and whine about how they were "d