Sunday, July 31, 2005


We've got a ton of new stuff for you this weekend... starting with Audio Coaching Session 23 ...

Go check it out HERE

Oh, and there's a new podcast, guys... Go get it...

As for the third part of this Triple Threat... it's coming soon. Or maybe it's already available...


alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Why do women like Bad Boys?

C wrote in this weekend from the shores of Hawaii to give us this little insight into the Bad Boy persona...


Attention all intelligent men, there is a crisis at hand – beautiful eligible women are being swept away by beasts masquerading as real men.

Women are often attracted to “bad boys” because they are aggressively pursued by them.

What women want is to be wooed and wowed by men. Unfortunately, too many women are falling prey to these “thug loves” -they usually end up emotionally and sometimes even physically abused.

These so-called “bad boys” are winning women over simply because they are assertive, confident, cocky, and competitive. In of itself these are not all bad traits, but mixed with the definition of a bad boy: selfish, dishonest, arrogant, abusive, irresponsible…

The bad boy image is not something that men should strive to achieve. Once you’re labeled as a bad boy, it’s a hard persona to shake.

Basically, everyone is walking around like an advertisement for who she or he is.
First impressions are vitally important. If all someone sees is cocky and arrogant – than boom that’s your brand.

A woman I met recently at a cocktail party leaned into me, eyed me coyly, and uttered in a somewhat slurred and raspy voice, “why is it I always fall for the bad boys.” She then proceeded to tell me about an arrogant garish man she met at a café in London.” I was sitting alone enjoying my tea, when James and I met. He looked at me and I melted, he then said “what are you looking at you stuck-up American Bitch.” That was it she said, in an even more slurred and vacant tone “I was in love.” For added effect, she feigned fainting.

I found this fascinating; if a guy said that to me I would perhaps be speechless, (it happens) I would certainly not be attracted to him- but rather disgusted. I have never felt any frisson of attraction with an overtly bad boy.

Her story rapidly deteriorated. They ended up dating for 6 months, he treated her horrible and it finally ended when he hit her. Awful. So yes, some women will fall for and stay with bad boys. Obviously, these women lack sound judgment and have major self-esteem issues. Hopefully, not anyone’s ultimate goal in a date, even if you are only looking for a one night stand. Sure, you may score, but…

Most women do not want to be crudely manipulated by men. That’s not to say that all manipulation is bad – it just needs to be subtle and caressing like a masseur- not whipped into submission like a hunk of abalone...

Men are so much more alluring when they have a combination of confidence intertwined with that cocky/ funny thing and frosted with a sort of sexy vulnerability. Women do not want to be with men who are known players. Being with a man who is a player does not satisfy our ego.

I like well-rounded men that have a bit of a twisted sense of humor, are inherently kind, interested and versed on political, psychological, and spiritual matters.

Oh yea, and a bit naughty…

You see, it’s all about the fine art of balance.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, July 30, 2005


Dude, last night at a party, this girl was all over me - following me around, feeling and kissing me, etc. Every time I tried to leave, she would pull me back and keep me from going anywhere. She would even try to smooth my brother over right in front of me, as though to see my approval.

My buddy was trying so hard to get with her all night. He recently made out with her, but I have a few times before, so this girl has a past. Anyway, I finally got up and told him to sit next to her where I was just cuz he was practically on top of me trying to get at her. I was as care free as possible, but the next thing I know, she was touchy feely, kissy with him! What is that?

Furthermore, my other friend asked her if shes a cocktease straight up. She shrugged and asked him what he thought. He replied with if you don't go upstairs with my friend, I'll say yes. Next thing I know my buddy and her go upstairs. After they come back down, she tried to hug me goodbye and I denied her.

Finally, I see her all over two other friends of mine before she leaves. I understand she probably just wants attention, but where did I go wrong so I can fix it? I mean, I tried not caring and it basically backfired on me.


You should have said if you go upstairs with "me" instead of "him."

Never challenge a woman to do something with another guy. Only with you.

Second, just like Yoda says, you can't "try" to not care. You either do, or you don't.

There is no "try."

This chick is a player and a 'Ho.

You're better off moving on to a girl who won't try manipulating you with such obvious tactics.

There's a time to not care, and there's a time to take her by the hand and go where you want to go with her. She probably got sick of waiting for you to go forward.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, July 29, 2005


I saw this on an email signature. I like it:

If I don't like something about me, I'll change it. If you don't like something about me, F*ck You.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


Hey Carlos,

As I sat thinking of my new successes, and how much easier the drama of this dating thing is getting, I do realize something that is still kind of difficult that I am sure other guys might find challenging as well. The question that came to mind is: What do you do when you're in an enviornment (such as work or school or whatever) that you used to be a pure AFC in, but now you want to turn it around.

Like for me, I may be different, but feel as though my reputation at work is all ready ruined and it would stop me from any success with the ladies there. I mean I can kind of see it at bs because just being at the store last night on base, a girl from work waved at me, I approached, asked what's up. She was drinking like I was and chilling. Told me she was having a little party in her room, and guess who got invited? But still there are other times that it seems like you're all ready finished before you start because of previous impressions you may have made.

Mainly the kind of impressions I've made is the silent, unconfident type. Any ideas on turning this scenario into a man's favor? I am sure it is the results that they were getting in their social circles which were unsatisfactory, that compelled men to first seek your material, so they can change it.

Thanks for your work as always. It really makes a difference.


Ah, yes, re-establishing your reputation can be tough. There's the old "once a chump, always a chump" stigma.

You're right. It's a long hard road to changing what people think of you, because they already experienced the "old" you, and they believe that.

Take note guys:
This is why you cannot be anything less than a confident, capable man when meeting a woman for the first time and dating her those first few times. First impressions STICK.

And it's also why you can't easily reclaim an old girlfriend that you chumped out on. We become very attached to our psychological impression of someone. I believe this was an evolutionary defense mechanism against forming bonds with people who would not help us stay alive.

So the key here is NOT to try.

1) If you try, you look like a suck-up. A sycophant. A toadie. And you'll find it even HARDER to show them you have changed. After all, if you're really confident now, why would you need them to see it? You'd just BE it.

2) People will only change their opinion of you by long exposure to your new habits and behaviors.

But the good news is that it DOES happen. Just be CONSISTENT.

That's a lot of what I teach in the Alpha Man program.

You can't be on one day and off the other. You must be the MAN every day.

You must demonstrate High Social Value (HSV) in every social situation you encounter, both with men AND women.

High social value isn't some vague concept. It's a literal definition of your value to your friends. And it can only be SHOWN through action. Never words. (Unless those words are indirect.)

I'll cover this concept in the future in the Audio Coaching, and maybe a bit in the Podcast, too.

But if you want to turn this in your favor, you have to utilize the "silent" part of what you say they thought of you. You were once silent, but you must now become vocal.

Demonstrate that you have opinions.

Demonstrate that you do not take sh*t from any man, woman, child, or small furry mammal.

Demonstrate High Social Value in your interactions with others. This means not taking ANY kind of verbal abuse. (And you'd really be amazed to know just how much verbal abuse is being doled out through the use of put-downs and sarcasm.)

The best thing to do is to isolate and destroy. Find one or two people that make good sense to turn around and work on them. Isolate them, and then begin to impress on them your newfound power and social strength that you've learned from the Alpha Man program.

Don't try to do this in a group setting or situation.

One by one, they'll come around.


alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, July 28, 2005


I had a great date last night, that went well from the start, this girl barely had any "red flags" it was amazing! This was our first date and we made out a little bit at the end of the date.

I have two questions first should I call the next day since we made out (not sex) and second this girl seems too good to be true. How much time should I wait before setting up another date?

I want to be around her all of the time and I know this is not good! But should I at least make a call today since we did make out last night?

Thanks for all of the amazing advice - this keeps getting better and better!


Ah, yes! Good going!

Give her a call, but try to NOT reach her.

Yes, you heard me. Try to get her voicemail and leave a quick message.

"Hey, it's Carlos. I just wanted to let you know that you were great company last night, and I had a great time." (Note that I did not say, "I hope you did, too!" Barf. Assume she had the time of her life.) Then finish with, "I'll talk to you soon..."

Talk slowly and seductively. Give her no hint of when she'll hear from you again.

You want to give her something to dream about and imbed your memory even deeper in her mind and emotions. It will warm her heart up.

Then, wait another day or so and call her up again (if she hasn't called you by then because she'll be crazy wondering when you two will get together again.)

Tell her you want to meet her at this place and at this time to pick up where the fun left off from the last time.

If you should get her, just tell her the same thing, and tell her you have to run. Ask her when she's available to talk again. Get a time and day. Tell her you'll TRY your best to reach her then. You gotta get going... bye...

Don't make it sound like you're trying to get rid of her, but that someone is waiting on you.

That should work.

Oh, and stop thinking YOU'RE the lucky one here. That's how you lose posture - and lose her, too.

Remind yourself that SHE got lucky by being a good date and fun, and she also lucked out by being compatible and your type.

The more you think of yourself as lucky you'll put her on a pedestal and start to lose your confidence and cool calmness.

Trust me, you DON'T want to be around her all the time. That's your sense of novelty talking.

Have you ever found a dish at a restaurant that you LOVED? Have you ever tried to eat it for every meal, seven straight days in a row?

It all gets old, dude. The key is to keep your head about you and control your thinking.

By the way, no woman is too good to be true. She’s got something you won’t like. Just remember that and keep a healthy mental distance.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


If you are interested in a girl, do you ever use her friend to get her?

Short and to the point. I like that.

Short answer:



I'm very Machiavellian about this sort of thing. (Look that up in the dictionary, guys.)

You gotta be cunning to get ahead. Mind you, I don't mean to use or mistreat other people, only to use your wits to keep you on top of your life.

There are some advice guys out there that may tell you to follow your heart, or toss out spiritual advice, but they also forget to tell you that you need to have a strong backbone to pin that heart on.

Follow your heart AND your head. They all work together.

Back to the long answer:

YESSSSSS. You use the friend. But not just USE. You leverage her for your betterment.

1. You talk up her friend and make friends with her. Not "acquaintances." FRIENDS. Genuine.

2. Make sure you don't accidentally get the friend into you. I get a lot of guys who do this. How does this happen? You're interested in her friend, so you do all the RIGHT things with the wrong girl, like relaxing, not pressuring her or trying to get into her pants, so she starts to want the guy who isn't trying to push her into a relationship. Funny how that works.

3. Casually mention your interest. Let her friend offer to help you out. Don't ask her to! Let it come about naturally from the goodness of her heart. Remember, you want the friend on your side.

And use any and all means necessary to get the women you want.

That's the ultimate "romantic" statement to a woman.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


Hey, I hope you are great! Am writing all they way from Nairobi, Kenya. Thanks a lot for your stuff man, be assured its touching people worldwide!

Now, am a 20 year old university student, and honestly, before I came across your stuff, I used to be quite alright with the girls. I used to be a king of sorts with them, but now, after your tips, I am THE KING! The Mack baby! Not one among many, The One!

My question is, there is this nice girl am chasing on campus. She gave me her number and all, but she wasn't really responding, so I sent her a couple of cocky funny and insensitive jokes on her cellphone, just to see wassup. She didn't respond.

Surprisingly, she did pick the phone when I called, but she doesnt want to meet me like for a date (the text messages freaked her out). I laughed, stayed cheerful, told her it was my bad, and told her to have a great day, and then I hang up. Now, I know I have value in her eyes, she always sees me with beautiful female company, she loves my cologne, and she thinks am a serious dude.

Should I try her again? I know the phone should only be used to get us to meet, but? Or should I completely abandon ship? Coz am not going to get one-itis, I aint gonna believe that she is so important that I need to chase her all over. Tell me where I stop... She seems nice company, n I wouldn't mind a long-term relationship like for a month or two or somethin!

They say one of the qualities of the Alpha man is persistence, but does that mean I call her up again and again and try to meet her and be sweet? Or is she just playin hard to get? Coz if she didn't want to talk why did she pick up my call anyway?

Also, what do you think about dates? How much should a guy spend before he gets any? Should he spend at all?

But I'll say, I would NEVER have learned ALL this, not this early in life without your help man. I am where I am in the dating world, largely due to your stuff.
You've definitely had a positive influence on my life. And thats amazing...


First off, it's great to hear from a loyal fan. I get a lot of these emails, but yours wins today's "excited to be alive" award.

However, in spite of your excitement, it appears you have freaked this girl out with your messaging. Yet another of the reasons I tell guys to not try to convey humor anywhere except in person. YOU may know you were joking, but text messages (and emails) do not carry your tone of voice, so it's very hard to figure out what is joking and what is not.

If she thinks you MIGHT have been serious, that's enough to kill her attraction.

Ya dig?

Let's redefine persistence here...

It's persistence to get the goal you want - in a broader context.

It SHOULD be Success with Women.

NEVER success with THIS woman.

Do you see the difference?

One gets you the right attitude, the other gets you an unhealthy preoccupation and probably police charges for stalking.

What you did was show something I call social ignorance. I used to do these things ALL the time, not realizing that I was freaking people out with my wild personality. I thought I was just being cool, and maybe a little devil-may-care, but I was alienating my friends because they didn't know how to read my intentions.

Well, after I figured it out, I started paying attention to what my words and actions were communicating. I was amazed at how much I was misinterpreted.

You see, people won't go through the effort to get to know you if they don't have to. They'll make their snap judgment as fast as they can so they can get back to their already over-busy, over-committed lives.

This is the reason stereotypes exist. They help us quickly sort people into groups that allow us to get on with the rest of our lives.

Word to the wise, you've got a lot of critical misunderstandings going on with respect to her.

If she was freaked out by the text messages and won't meet you for a date, you don't have value in her eyes. You lost it after the freak-out. Don't cloud your eyes from the Truth. Just because YOU see yourself as valued doesn't mean she does on an instinctual attraction level.

My suggestion - move on.

As for dates, spend only that which you can feel happy losing if she were to blow you off and never speak to you again. That's your barometer for investment.

Better question - What are you willing to invest in yourself?

Get The Secrets of the Alpha Man... it will help you immensely.....

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, July 25, 2005


I've noticed recently that my cocky and funny and confidence from
reading your stuff has given me a good amount of popularity among
people in my college. Not just with girls, but male friends as well.

Within the past few months I have got A LOT of new friends added to
my phone and people often rely on me to plan and organize social
events and little group gatherings.

The problem is, there are so many people who want to hang out with me
its hard for me to find time for them or plan things with any of
the few groups I hang out with.

I know this question doesn't have a lot to do with dating. But more
towards the social life of an Alpha man.

How do I keep track of al these people? Its starting to get confusing
for me...


It feels good, doesn't it?

That sudden increase in your social network. Being in demand for

And no matter what we may think about popularity, and how we turn
our noses at it, it sure does feel GOOD, doesn't it?

I used to be a real loner. I remember this time in high school when
I got a school jacket with our school colors and everything. Now, I
was a poor kid, and I couldn't afford to buy one, but apparently
they accidentally gave me one thinking that I'd ordered it.

I wore that jacket around and felt ... proud. I felt like I finally
belonged. I wasn't weird or different than the others around me. I
lost my teenage maladjustment for just a week or so. I got along
with people better and I felt more social.

And then they found me. The teachers realized I didn't buy the
jacket, so I had to give it back. After my disappointment, I
thought that I had just been acting that whole time. That gave me
the justification to going back to my old self again.

The reality was that my old self WAS the act.

And the other part of the reality was that nothing changed about
ME, just my thoughts.

It was my own insecurities and beliefs about my place in the school
pecking order.

For two weeks I was part of the "in crowd" based on this stupid
school jacket.

Funny, huh?

Now, it took me years to get over those feelings of inferiority and
insecurity, but I did. And when I did, and I discovered that I
could have as many friends as I wanted, I started to respond to
this sudden social wealth in my life by wanting to attend to it
all. Make sure no one slipped through the cracks.

Now, you gotta admit - this is a pretty good problem to have, isn't
it? Tons of friends and an active social life. (All from the stuff
you learned from me,
but most of it was already inside you, my
young Paduan.)

Well, guess what? You don't have to keep track of everything and
organize it all. You can just go along for the ride.

Most guys WISH they had this problem in their lives, so I'm sure
I'll get emails about how all the readers want to start a charity
in your name.

Uh, yeah, sure.


Here's an idea or two for your social logistic problem - get a Palm
Pilot, or some kind of PDA. Keep all your contacts and numbers in

Then, make THEM plan a few things. Unless you like being a party
organizer, I'd say you need to make sure your friends are aware
that they can plan a few events and get-togethers here and there.

Remember, too, I don't usually condone the whole "cocky/funny"
thing on its own. It can be a very shallow technique used on its
own. But, if it's used with a good sense of calmness and
confidence, you'll get the effect that you're experiencing.

You get a lot of new friends.

A wider social circle

More women in your life. (A little bonus...)

And all your free time gets used up because you're now socially

That's what an Alpha Man is - socially desired.

He knows that it's not the anti-social jerk that gets to have all
the fun (and the women) in life, but the guy who's calm and
confident in his own skin, and can still be liked by others.

The Alpha Man also knows that self-development is the path to a
better life. It all starts with getting educated.

Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to better
choices. Better choices lead to better results.

And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of women.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, July 23, 2005


Here's a little post from my secret spy on the other side... A pussycat that's telling you tales from the Other Side...


In order to understand what women want you have to have a basic understanding of our sophisticated and complicated psyche.

Have you ever noticed when you meet a woman’s gaze she demurely lowers her eyes. Do not mistake that for lack of interest, it often means she is being coquettish with you. Oh and by the way, if you look away first she will be intrigued.

Women are intuitive; we do not need to be taught, for example, that being unavailable boasts erotic appeal.

Sex is not all that complicated- if a woman finds you attractive and alluring, she will want to be intimate with you. If weeks or months pass and you have not found nirvana between the sheets, she is simply not interested.

Women are not intentionally ambivalent; it’s just that our emotional needs are vast and that is why we have girlfriends.

Speaking of girlfriends:

When a woman asks you how she looks in her new $150.00 jeans either lie or run for cover. Now if your gal looks fabulous, then by all means compliment away, women want and need accolades from their men.

If a guy is honest with a woman and tells her that’s not her color or heaven forbid she looks fat…. Ha. Nothing More. Game Over, Boyfriend, You Are History- Ah but not so fast, unfortunately for you, you will first be systematically emotionally pulverized, if you're lucky it could be just for a few more dates, or months or…

Now let me clarify something, women are brutally honest with one another. I had lunch with a close friend yesterday and before her derriere hit the chair she declared, “That color lipstick is awful for you.”

Bada- Bing, my new Chanel lipstick will meet an untimely death- to the trash it goes and my gorgeous girlfriend gets a hug and kiss for being honest and caring enough about me to tell me the truth. My apologies gentleman, I did not make up these rules!

Girlfriends are the key to our success and happiness. So if you go to a party and you see a woman you're attracted to that has many girlfriends, be glad, it’s the girlfriend-less women you should fear. As a matter of fact, if you meet a girl and things are going great and you find out she has NO girlfriends, run do not walk…
She inevitably has a missing link…

CARLOS: I would only add, guys, that if you do look away first, make it an INTENTIONAL look away, not an "I got caught" look away.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, July 22, 2005


Your stuff is the brilliant! It has really OPENED MY EYES! I have seen a lot more positive responses from women since using your techniques and I’m lovin every second of it.

My life has been much more enjoyable since using your techniques and attracting women the way a guy should. I have run into a small problem though and would like to be enlightened by your expert advice…

I’m in a long distance relationship with this girl that I’m really into (she had to move away for her university studies). I saw her during the holidays again, but there was a lot of signs indicating distraction/guilt/shyness while she was with me. I don’t know why or what it meant. I would like to send her an email, but I want to send her a mail that can flip the situation around and get her to talk about what’s bothering her and open up to me. Any advice on the contents or approach would be much appreciated

Your grateful follower

C, from Arizona

First of all, stop trying to read signs and hidden signs and crop circles and mystical patterns in her actions.


There is only this one thing:

Is she responding to you? Are you getting progress?

Or, a better question: Are you TRYING to progress?

Most guys will spend years trying to read the arcane signs of her behavior, not realizing that they are going to change every 5 damn minutes.

Forget signs.

Just go after what you want.

A wimpy man tries to sit back and watch for hints and signs that he should move forward so he doesn't have to risk rejection.

The Alpha Man goes out and MAKES IT HAPPEN.

Those two are as different as night and day, my friend.

And you don't need her to "open up" to you. She'd do that if she felt like you were her girlfriend.

Is that what you want to be? Then go the therapy route.

Otherwise, let her deal with her problems. You're not even sleeping with this girl and you want to take on her problems?

No way, dude.

And forget trying to send email or regular mail with some clever something in it to get her to "open up."


She's probably boinking some dude. Or she's thinking about it.

That's why she's guilty. She knows she can't be satisfied with "long distance", and honestly...

Neither should you.

Sorry to be the wet slap of "REALITY" here, but it's true.

Long distance doesn't work. Trust me. Start getting a few girlfriends in your neighborhood. You're too young to turn into a wuss waiting for this girl to cheat on you and turn you into a crying shell of a former-man.

And get my Alpha Man program.

Right now. I'm dead serious. I address this kind of thing in graphic detail in there. It's the program that men everywhere have been waiting for to reclaim their masculine power.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN: Alpha Man Confidence

I have all three of your books and some audio coaching. I have tons of other ebooks and audio CDs, but still use your stuff much more than the others. Probably like many of your customer/students I'm one of those guys whose doing well in all his areas of life except this one. Also, I relate to you better than the other authors in the sense that I take martial arts, did the relocation thing, live a complete life, self-improvement is a hobby, etc.

Could you tell me if I'm still a "nice guy" based on the following info?

-I'm normally polite and respectful to people. That is how I was raised. I sometimes say things at the end of a phone call like "take care" to a woman. It's not intentional. It's just how I am. I also like to pick up the tab sometimes when I'm with friends.

-At work I don't like many of my coworkers in the other branches and just keep to myself. They're much older and very difficult for the most part and my reputation at work is an "Asshole". Although the people who work in my branch all like me.

-I definitley don't supplicate or kiss a woman's ass. Actually, a woman a week ago emailed me on, but when I asked for the # she said I don't give it out that easily, so I deleted her email and moved on. She wrote back a week later to follow up and I responded with "all the other women don't have problem with the phone. Good luck"(she was a 7/10, so no biggy)

-The Seduction Method suggested I post a picture on, so I did and my rating was 9.6.....but what does that mean??? I'm hotter than 96% of the guys on there is what it says, but what if all the guys are hideous? With that being said I had a girl email me at and she writes I like your new pic. It's cute....Oh I mean handsome. Does cute mean nice? and does handsome mean masculine?

-Yesterday my karate instructor was asking me again if I would go to the seminar and I looked him in the eye and said that's asking too much of me to travel to LA from San Diego on a Sunday and that $$ is really tight right now. This is very true. It's not that I shot him down. It was how I did it and it was done with an attitude of I'd like to, but can't, so don't ask me again.

-I had a hot 19 y/o college volleyball player call me 3 days in a row after only speaking to her once. She left a message yesterday saying that she can't see me Sunday because she just got out of a 1 1/2 relationship and that her and the ex had a chat last night and things got heated and now I don't know what to do or what I want and I guess I need time alone.....but I liked talking to you and you seem nice. ......Ouch!!! on the "nice" part.

Anyway, I think I'm on the right path and since I've studied the Alpha Seduction book I carry myself I'm the prize and I know it. My attitude toward the game has changed too. My skin is much thicker and I laugh at all the BS I experience these days.

When you get a chance some more details or examples of a what a nice guy really is that would be great as well.

I read all those things you told me about yourself, and I'd have to say, NO, you're not a "nice guy" in the wimpy sense of the phrase.


I can't be certain.

You know why?

There are a lot of things that communicate your dominance and assertiveness to a woman. She can figure out if you're an Alpha Man if you're just a little bit wimpy under all the bravado.

But I suspect you're probably not in danger of falling into this trap.

First of all, you ditch the women that play the stupid insecure games, like "earn my trust before I let you have my number."

Women love to pull this one out because they just love to get you to bow down and treat them like little princesses. American women have gotten this behavior down to a fine art, it seems.

So kudos to you for not falling for her game and cutting her off. That's the right posture.

As for your Hot or Not rating, don't listen to them when they say that you are hotter than X or Y people. It's purely a tool, just for figuring out which picture gives you the best presence. Don't get caught up in the comparative game.

Polite and respectful is absolutely fine, as long as you don't let others manipulate you into things like paying for the tab or things like that. Keep a good head about you and know when to say "NO" when it's in your best interest. But also remember that we're here on this rock together, and it's good to share the good times.

As for the hot volleyball player, I'd amp it up a notch with her if you still want to play with her ball. Her ex has the benefit of history with her, so you might want to sit it out, but here's another approach.

Get BAD BOY on her.

Call her up one night when you're in the neighborhood and get her out with you. Show her a fun time. Get a little wild with her. Shake her up. Show her that SHE is the one missing out by not being with you.


Pretend he doesn't exist. When she talks about him, you change the subject and get her on a new train of thought and action. (I'll cover this more this weekend in the podcast.)

The only way to overcome an ex situation like that is to out do his electric charge on her brain.

Anyway, you're well on the way to Alpha Manhood. You're getting it. I'm really amazed at how the Alpha Man Program has changed things for so many guys out there.

Well... not really, I suppose. That's why I wrote it, after all.

(And if you're reading this now, and wondering, will the Alpha Program do this for me? YES. It will.)

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, July 21, 2005


Hi Carlos,

I think what you're doing is amazing, your book is a beacon of light in a stormy sea, the systems got pretty crazy with prickly picky women, decreasing birth rates we're well on the path to extinction and the people who should be booted out the gene pool are multiplying like bunny rabbits expect to see a blue fuzzy morlock in 10 generations! you should be nominated for the nobel peace prize for your work turning things around!!

But your dating black book is missing something, I've read it so many times, you need information on how to steal, not nice yeah I know, but competition is inevitable, it seems a beta thing to do backing down and sniffing around for scraps nobody wants! but it's important knowledge to have in case someone goes for the steal on a girl and learn counter moves. Can you write a chapter on it or something?

But what I really wanted to ask: I work as a postman I recently started a new round there's this shop where this really cute girl works. I want to get to know her better;) I was just going to say "hey thought you might make an interesting friend, I was wondering, do you want to go for a coffee sometime? then get her name, email/mobile number, sorted. I just keep it along the principles of KISS ( keep it simple stupid ) in and out quick before her brain clicks into gear and starts thinking, not trying smart cocky things.

Guess it is a bit like starting a car in second gear, once things get rolling then you kick it up a gear. I just wanted you're advice on the situation beforehand then I can't go wrong! What would you do! would this be the right way to approach in this particular situation ?

Thanks for your help, look forward to reading more of your books!


Actually, I do give a little advice on stealing. It's everything I teach in the e-book! You see, if you use all that advice and polish your presentation, girls with boyfriends WILL want you.

Now, normally, I won't go into too much deliberate advice on stealing away a girlfriend.


1. It's really pretty easy. Any guy that's in a relationship has been "chumped" out to the maximum. Chances are he's so wimpy after caving in to her every whim he'd cry at a late night showing of "Titanic."

2. It's tough to trust a woman you stole from another guy, because ... well... she LET herself get stolen. You see, it's not HIS fault entirely. No woman ever really gets stolen. She just unlocks herself and starts waving potential thieves over.

There are more reasons, but in all fairness, you're right in a lot of ways, too. Alpha Men don't wait for scraps, and they go after what they want. But with a fair sense of balance that keeps them from getting all chumped out.

Here's what I suggest.

First of all, NEVER ask a woman to do anything. Tell her what you want first. Let her tell you if she needs to make a change or refuse. (Funny enough, it's this one thing that guys are so scared of that they rarely make a move for fear of being turned down. More on this in my new program coming soon...)

You've got a good angle in that you don't want to hang around too long, so getting in and out quickly is advantageous to keeping your posture.

Forget the "interesting friend" line. I know it's meant to come across as a challenge, but it doesn't really have a lot of impact. It's not that good.

Instead, just leave it up to her to guess why you're wanting to get together with her. If she asks you why, you just tell her you're looking at her as a possible candidate for your "coffee girl of the month" club. One lucky girl gets to get a free coffee with you. If she pushes the point trying to get you to "define" things clearer, take it away.

"Wow, you sure are pushy. I bet your boyfriend hates that about you. If you can't take a cup of coffee with me, you must be scared your boyfriend will find out you dig me. That's okay, I'll act normal. Just don't try to play footsie with me. See you at 9:00."

Keep moving forward, and don't let her try and corner you with clarifying your interest. As long as YOU keep going, she'll be able to tell herself that it wasn't her fault.



Just remember, women want to be swept away...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, July 20, 2005



I have a couple questions. One situational, and one general. OK here goes:

1. I am dating multiple women as you suggest (my weekends are booked like a week in advance). There is one girl I liked but thought she had a bf. We went out to an amusement park, had fun, took a walk on the beach, started holding hands, but then as I went to kiss her, she pulled back. She turned to me and held my hands saying she had a boyfriend, but lol that I could kiss her cheek.

Basically I responded my saying I didn't care if she had a bf, that I was going for what *I* wanted, and that I was cool with whatever. The way home, we played a game of hers called "redlight" where whenever you stop at a red light, one person kisses the other. I know she is interested but has this bf.

This seems to be coming up a lot with the women I want. How do you handle a girl with a bf that you still want to pursue? She wants another date, so how should I proceed?

2. I've noticed that women don't return calls when you leave messages often. What exactly does this mean? It can't necessarily mean she isn't into you, because I've dated 2 girls this weekend who did this to me. I notice they usually answer when you call again another time.

Anyways, I now own all of your ebooks and am an Audio Coaching Subscriber. ... it is making me into such a player. I honestly feel like I can get any woman. Thanks so much.


You hit a few good things here that I'll talk about. Let's work the numbers...

1. You handled the boyfriend thing well. A lot of times a woman will use the bore-friend excuse to give her a license to do whatever she wants. She can have her cake and eat it too. She can make an excuse for her actions and still be warmly accepted back to him. Chances are the guy is a complete chump. If he wasn't why would she be looking for another guy?

Just remember, what she's doing to him, she'll do to you - UNLESS you can keep her challenged enough. A woman can't pursue another guy when she doesn't feel like she's got the one she's chasing. That's the key to keeping a woman with you.

But I digress.

Keep in mind that a girl will also cheat as a way to keep monkeying from vine to vine. She'll stick with one to keep her safe and secure until she's ready to trade up. (Hey, guys do this, too.)

It's emotionally insecure, but it just means that you know exactly how she's playing the game.

GO after her with a consistent level of challenge. Keep seeing other women. When she's driven crazy with desire and the jealousy of sharing you, she'll jump ship. You can't make her, or suggest it. It has to be her decision, or you'll be wondering forever if it was just her way of finding the next vine.

2. She doesn't return calls because:

- She's a woman (my personal favorite)
- She can't find her damn cell phone amidst all the makeup and crap in her purse
- She didn't recognize your number on her cell phone and enjoys GETTING messages (makes her feel wanted) but returning them is too inconvenient
- She ...

Oh, damn, dude, she's a WOMAN!!!

They never return calls. They want you to chase them, and they want YOU to take the initiative to GET them.

This is her way of seeing how much she'll own you when you fall into the routine of dating her regularly, as well as finding out how much energy you'll put into a relationship with her.

It's a TEST.

Plus, she could just be damn busy.

But don't bet on that one.

Just be persistent calling her (use my calling strategy from the audio coaching) and you'll do fine..

Rule of thumb - never leave messages. It leaves you a state of uncertainty, thus making you more susceptible to falling for her illusion of scarcity. YOU sit up waiting for her call, wondering where she is, who she's with, etc. etc. Thus also deepening the feelings of lust and attraction for her.

Her investment? Zero. Nada. Zilch.

Her return? Your obsession.

Not bad.

Instead, leave her a message telling her you'll call her back ... sometime.

Let HER sit and wait on your callback. Let HER get a little obsessed with you. I like that investment option better.

Or just keep playing it like you are and recognize that you'll have to go through this pattern every time.

Your call.

(No pun intended.)

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

A good word...

I like to post the good things people have to say, especially when they send it in and it's evident that they really get how this stuff works, and they're enjoying the benefits. I thought you guys might enjoy this. I'll put his question up soon as well...


"The Secrets of the Alpha Man program has been the most rewarding and useful program that I have seen in the area of dating, women, seduction and life in general. I found that all of the programs and books out there are cool, but unless you all ready have the inner game that this program teaches, it is useless. I found myself not afraid of social interactions anymore, learning confidence isn't an owned trait, but something that must be worked at and achieved daily, and quit frankly that I can pursue any woman I desire.

"Imagine catching looks at church from the most beautiful girl you always like, but feared. Her smiling at you when your eyes no longer dart away faster than speedy gonzales when she catches you looking at her. I even found myself on a date with a girl who I knew had a boyfriend, and in a bold and daring move on the first date, I went for the kiss. Sure she stopped me, and limited to kissing her cheek (and she was kissing me too), but it wasn't as bad as I used to fear.

"I'd never have gone after a woman with a boyfriend in the past, and when it didn't work out, I was ultra cool about it like, "I don't need you. I like you, but don't need you." She responds by asking me on a 2nd date, and also is like, "I am SO going to hook you up with one of my friends."

"But she was only 1 of my 6 current targets, and the list grows daily. The most significant thing about this program is that is enabled me to finally have some balls and USE all of the information I'd been reading so much of on getting women. Now it is so simple.

"Is everyday perfect? No. Do I get nervous? Sometimes, but I act in spite of it. Gentlemen, trust in this program. Carlos is here to teach us what SHOULD have been taught to us by our fathers. It generates success in ALL areas of life. I can honestly testify this with all of my character."

- Amen, Brother! Thanks!

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Just wanted to let you guys know that I'm knee-deep in the mixing room, getting a fantastic new program ready for you. If you look closely here in the blog, you'll find a link to a sneak preview of what is to come.

This is going to be BIG.

Keep your eyes peeled, and check in here daily ... I will offer pre-orders to my subscribers and preferred customers first (you know who you are...) when it's ready, and they'll get the first shot at ordering.


alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


why do girls sometimes seclude themselves at social gatherings just to talk
to one another? and im not talking about mingling either. its more serious
talk once the party starts to wind down. is there something i can do to
break it up, or do i just let it go?

Now this is a cool observation.

When a party is winding down, the excitement has pretty much worn off. The women have seen all the guys, and there's nothing new to discover.

All they have to do is wait for their buzz to disappear and hope that the guys that got their phone numbers EARLY will call them up in the week.

So they sink into a social circle of drama.

That's really all there is left for them at the end of the night. And, it's best if you don't try to fight it or interrupt it. If you were still a candidate for them by that time of the night, they'd be wondering why the heck you're not talking to them earlier, and why you're the leftovers.

Just let them chat, go home with your happy little pocket full of phone numbers, and sleep tight...

Uh... you DID get a bunch of numbers, right???

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN: Approaching women and talking to women

Thanks for all the advice - you have helped me greatly improve my life!

I have been flirting- talking to a beer cart girl at the golf course where I regularly play. I finally asked her out with "some of us are going to (a bar we all know) later, you should come".

She said that she wasn't sure what she was doing later and said that yeah she would probably be going there later and that if she did she would come over and talk to me. I assume this is good news, we seem to have some chemistry, the main problem is that she is leaving in about a month and a half, so I need to make a good impression fast! How should I approach this one? If I see her at the bar I will just keep it friendly and have fun while trying to advance my cause.

But overall what should I be more aggressive because of the timetable or should I still play it somewhat cool? I have seen firsthand guys try to make aggressive moves on her and she doesn't respond real well to it. How should I handle this one or should I not give it much effort, I have mentioned the other girl, Staci, that I am seeing or whatever and have a couple other prospects as well. Any advice you could provide would be greatly appreciated!

Seek and destroy, dude...

What are your goals for this girl?

Pen pal?

Part-time girlfriend?

Long distance chick?

Just get laid?

I'd guess the last one is the closest of the set.

Your next step isn't to arrange coy encounters at the bar. You need to lead her to your goal.

Stop trying to make an impression. Impressions are chump food. A lot of guys run around with the mistaken belief that they should be trying to "impress" her in some way. I'm going to cover this in my new program for approaching women.

Watch for it ...

What you need to do next is get this bar-girl's number and get out with her right away.

Start by talking to her. Find out where her head's at with her so-called "not responding well" to other guys making aggressive moves. Find out what it is that's distasteful to her. And remember that 90% of the guys out there have NO REAL CLUE as to how to properly initiate attraction with a woman. You do now, and you should use this to your advantage.

I'll warn you that she might be looking to avoid entanglements with her departure coming up on the horizon, as you say. So you have to either go in at a harsh angle on this one, or just forget it.

Either way, she'll be gone in 6 weeks, so what do you have to lose?


Think about that. Let it motivate you to try something. What's the worst that could happen???

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, July 18, 2005


I have been flirting with a girl I have been friends with since the beginning of summer. I never took an interest in her until now. when I flirt with her she responds, but not in the same manner as newer girls. is there a different approach I need to try?


Again, it's the friends first syndrome. You can't start out this way and turn it around easily unless she's REALLY into you from the start. The only thing that can be done is to push it to a decision point so that she knows she only has one way to go with you.

Get her out on a date, show her a fun time, make out with her, and see where you can go. Be willing to burn the friendship to get what you want.

Best bet is to have at least 2 other women for every "friend" you're trying to get. She has to feel how challenging you are.

That's my formula for maintaining the best attitude to ensure that you don't come down with "One-itis."

Remember, to get a romantic connection, you have to be willing to burn the "friendship" bridge behind you. You can't have them both until after you've got the fires of lust going.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


Here is a success story...

I had a few female friends from school (now that is some 10 years ago) that went abroad to foreign universities. Others went to Italy, others to Germany, other to the UK. What I did then (being all nice and wimpy and actually pretty good at becoming friends with women) was to keep contact with most of them. Now, when I mean contact that is about 1 call per 3 months or so. When they were coming back for holidays (that is christmas, easter and summer) they did call me to go out for coffee, drinks etc. All of this of course was happening with me labeled as friend, but there was a slight difference. We had no regular day to day contact.

And I think that this was the one thing that kept me from messing up my game back then. Anyway, the years passed, and in the mean time I got into figuring out what was the thing that was messing my game and started fixing it.

Got through a lot of stuff before I found (and stayed since then) a loyal reader of the great works presented here... (may sound like a compliment, but it's not :-).

So... during the last year, I used every bit of information contained into the Dating Black Book and preparing the ground for graduation and return to the homeland! Guess what... First girl to come back: seduction successful!

It took a month or so but it was worth it. Now I know that there are more to return, and i'll deal with every situation when it arises. In the mean time I 'll keep doing what I was doing: a phone call every now and then, a coffee meeting etc.

Trust me, when they return back after some years living abroad, the only thing they can think of is that only one guy kept on being interested in them was me. 4 phone calls and 3 meetings a year for a period of 5-7 years per girl. I came up to the conclusion that there is not wimp behavior, there is genuine interest, and it is indeed as low as it can get to maintenance cost.

And I think that the most critical of the success factors here is that I would not think about them but 3-4 times a year. And now that I am through with the Alpha Man program I know that this long term investment (which I now realize it was) is starting to pay off... BIG TIME!

Oh... I must add that this girl had a long term relationship when she was a student... that is why it took me a month. She finally realized that long-distance relationships do not work, and I was the only guy she knew back home. She had lost contact with virtually everybody else besides her family and a few girlfriends, which I now know that is the case with all the rest of the girls.

The conclusion? It's worth it. It's low maintenance. It's genuine interest. And she will call YOU when she's back.

There is only one regret...

Wish I knew all this stuff back then! But this is pretty much common right? Better late than never :)

D. H.

Yes, once you get the "feel" for how an Alpha Man acts, you can let go of certain "rules" regarding how and when to contact women, or even how to keep them in your life.

You see, if you've got your Alpha Confidence where it needs to be, you'll have no problem giving the occasional compliment, or staying "in touch" with certain women.

Or even friendships with women.

What I've found is that inevitably women want me more after they know I've been in a "couple" and now am on the market for a while, as long as there was the right kind of sideline interaction keeping the spark of their hope alive.

Or if they've been away and now are back in the area. I can attract women simply by occasionally fanning the flames of their fantasies.

Oh yes, it can be done my fellow Alpha Men.

It's important to immerse yourself in a world that is FULL of women. You see that there's no scarcity, and there's no reason to act like you MUST HAVE THIS WOMAN.

Otherwise known as the dread disease "One-itis."

Keep working on your attitude, and keep the faith in yourself above all else.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Cliff's list seminar

Well, I really really really...

REALLY wanted to get to the Montreal Seduction seminar, but my current situation did not permit. I'm knee deep in production on something new and fantastic for you guys (listen to the podcast for more) and I just couldn't get away.

For those of you who do make it, please send us your field reports. It sounds big.

Cliff was on me for a while to attend and speak, but I just couldn't do it.

Maybe next time... sigh...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

New Podcast is up, guys!

New Dating Dynamics - Dating Advice for Men Podcast 7/17/2005 ---->

This week: The value of Gold and your attracting women, Willy Wonka, Cocky & Teasing women, leftovers at the party, emotionally caressing...

Click HERE for the MP3

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, July 16, 2005


I saw this girl I hooked up with before, tonight. every time I talked to
another girl she watched me like a hawk and whispered things to her friends.
we flirted a lot after. her hands were all over me, then I just walked away
to talk to more girls. after, my buddy started flirting with her and hooked
up with her. I dont really care cuz im starting to meet so many girls
anyway, but is there a way to draw the attention back to me? I wanna know
for the future.

p.s. the alpha man program has helped me a lot. I'm scoring numbers left and
right, but am getting stuck on getting a meeting. I sense its because im not
too far in the book. does that make sense 2 u?


First, yes, you've only had the program a few days, so you do have to give it a little while for more success to set in.

(Sheesh, getting a ton of numbers but still not satisfied.. :)

The more your seduction skills settle into your lifestyle and your confidence increases, the more results you'll get. That's what I love about the Alpha Man program is that it enables you to not only attract women, but it has a cumulative effect on your life.

As for the girl you "don't really care" about, but obviously do care about, consider this for a minute:

If you want to get her attention, stop wanting it, and stop acting like you want it. You might think you're not doing anything to purposefully do this, but you probably are. It's involuntary and it will come across in your attitude. Stay focused on running the numbers.

Let the women show YOU who's worthy - and let them also eliminate themselves.

Survival of the fittest, dude.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

I want to bitch for a second...

Hey, I've been reading some newsletters from some guys that are driving me nuts. They all just whine and whine about how they were "doing this first" or invented this or that.

You know what?

I hate to tell everyone this, but everything that can or will be done to attract women has already been invented. What we lack is a way of explaining how to use it so that more men get the understanding of true male self-confidence.

I'm just so fed up hearing these guys cry in their cheerios about their this or that, when they should just shut up and get down to explaining it.

Okay, I'm done complaining.

Hey, I'm entitled. I'm a pretty positive guy most of the time.

It's a beautiful sunny day here in San Francisco.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Here's a little tidbit contributed by a reader...

It's from Psychology Today online:

"Look down at your right hand. Is your ring finger longer than your index finger? Or vice versa? To be certain, take a ruler and measure from the bottom crease of each finger to the tip

The measurements tell you something about the environment of your mother's womb just weeks after your conception, a time when your fingers, and more importantly, your brain, were developing. Because of the influx of sex hormones at this prenatal stage, men tend to have ring fingers that are slightly longer than their index fingers. In women, these fingers are usually the same length or the index digit is just a bit longer."

CARLOS: Another thing that this indicates in ongoing growth is the level of testosterone vs. estrogen. Some say it relates to sex drive as well.

Use that in your next approach, boys...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

What do women really want? More from my inside advisor...

I got this post for you guys from my gal-pal, currently immersed at a retreat especially created for Marin County residents, it would seem. (That's an inside joke for those of you in the Bay Area. I was once one of them and long to return to Marin...)

Anyway, here's a few words you should heed...

"When I think about potential places to meet guys, the bar scene rarely comes to mind.

Women will spend hours preparing for a date with the girls. The reality is (when we go out together) we are more concerned with how appealing we are to one another than to the opposite sex.

What women want is to spend an evening engrossed in conversation, impressing, and emotionally caressing one another.

It’s a rather narcissistic event- now that’s not to say, if we happened to attract the attention of a desirable potential suitor we would run and hide. What we will not do, under any circumstance, is abandon our friends for a fast fling, a one-night stand, or… well you get it… We are certainly not going anywhere with you boys, unless of course the rest of the girls are in tow.

Last week, I found myself emerged in one of the most profoundly glorious, indescribably magical places I have ever had the pleasure of visiting. It was a retreat of sorts, where people go to teach, learn, rejuvenate, and bare their soul or not…

Anyway, the first evening at dinner I met this young, attractive scholarly type guy. We chatted for a long time and retreated to the mineral baths for hours of inspiring conversation.

The next morning I ran into Andre at the lodge and he invited me to join him for a hike.

After an hour or so of rigorous hiking, Andre abruptly spun around (which was a little scary as we were hiking on a very narrow trail with the gateway to abyss looming directly under our heels) and in a somewhat jittery voice he asked me if I wanted to kiss him! Caught off guard, I kind of glanced at him a bit incredulously. He quickly gained his composure, and said, “Well I know you have been dying to kiss me, but I can’t oblige because kissing you would lead to certain doom. I have no desire to be the next coastal fatality for a mere kiss.”

While I was not looking for any romance, I must confess however, that his spontaneity combined with a touch of nervousness created an element of arousal. Ya know, it is sometimes as simple as creating obstacles that add to the attraction and ultimately lead to excitement."

CARLOS: Yeah, C, don't fall off the cliff yet. We have some business to take care of when you get back... :-D

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

What is French for Seduction?

Here's a treat for you. I publish an article in the French-Canadian version of Maxim. It's called "Summum" magazine. I thought you might like to see the article ...

but beware! You need to parlez Francais...

Page 1 HERE

Page 2 HERE

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, July 11, 2005

Dating Advice That Works - Don't Believe Me?

A quote from one of our new members:

I was talking to a friend about some of my experiences and you know that
everything that you talk about she agreed 100% with. One of them being the
needy part and that she does not want someone who is needy, but she does
want to be wanted. It was just nice to see what you talk about is what
women are thinking. So now the more I will get into the meat of this stuff.

D. J."


One of the tests I like to give a girl before I'll see her again is to check in and see just how willing she is to admit that the dating advice I talk about is true. Not because I'm an ego-maniac or anything, but because I need to know if she's uptight and self-delusional, or if she can admit reality and not defend these things like the sacred gem of her gender.

You should do the same, when you feel good with it.

Go out and ask a few women what they feel about needy guys, or WHY they don't call a guy back when things "seemed like they were going so well..."

See what insight you get, but before you do, make sure she sees Reality.

Or you might get a whole lot of crap about "he didn't call me and worship me..."

It sounds like this guy got a smart woman who knows how this game works. Every so often you can get that validation, but don't count on it. You have to WATCH what women do, not listen to their words most of the time.

The Truth will shine clear through.

The best test of this information is really this:

Ask her "If you were REALLY hot for a guy, was it what he owned or what he WAS? Was it what he bought you, or what he BROUGHT you?"

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Dating Advice for Men -


This happened before I read your advice column but
inadvertantly did the 'I gotta go see my friends routine' to get
their you say in your letter. To prove it works to your
readers but I didn't even read your letter at that time!

Anyway, I had this cute chick at the shopping center where I work
and after talking to her for a while I asked her what she did and
she said 'I study fashion - or something' I said to her (honestly)
I don't know anything about that..and walked away (I thought that
I wouldn't really have anything in common that she's not for
me). Anyway she also must have picked up on the genuine feeling
that she wasn't up to my level or my disinterest or something..

The next day I walked by her shop, didn't say hello (because I
thought it was waste of time...) and she yelled out to me !hello! to get my
attention and I was trying to ignore her..they are funny...!

Anyway I should have got her email then ..but now... she's going
with some geek from the junk shop accross the way..but better luck next

BTW..the advice about getting their email rather than their phone
number is correct from my experience (you can tell your readers) because for
some reason they won't give you their phone number but .. email they

Weird...but true I believe because they find it (email) non
threatening. Turns off their
radar ...

Amazing, isn't it? The more disinterested you are, the more they
feel they need to "prove" something and win you over. If you come
on strong, she'll shoot you right down.

A couple of things I'd add to this:
- Yes, you should have gotten her email. At LEAST.
- Then get her phone number.
- Yes, she totally picked up on your apathy.
- No, luck had NOTHING to do with it. Your successes are the result
of pre-meditated ACTION. And so are your failures.

One thing: If you were interested at the start, but now you're just
getting around to thinking you should have gotten her email, you're
way behind. Even if you don't think you'll use it, ALWAYS go for
the number and/or the email. It's a habit that has to be ingrained
in your mind as early as you can.

It's all about OPTIONS. The more options a man has, the more
empowered he is.

Email is the least intimidating option. It also allows you to
interact in a medium that lets you plan what you say a little more.
When you talk on the phone, you give her too many chances to figure
out why she shouldn't go out with you.

Email sneaks by their radar because it comes across as
non-threatening, as you say. This is because it has a very casual
element about it.

(But make no mistake, she still knows what your intent is.)


I recently started to date a really nice chick, she's got lots of
humor and one hell of a body! =) Anyways, yesterday I met her for
the second time at her place to "see" a video. ;-) As the night
progressed I could practically see attraction oozing out of her
more and more. ..and when I felt we had got a connection, I moved
in for the kiss. Nice. ...

Although after I stoped kissing her, she practically jumped on me
wanting more. I just had to hold her off for a bit...

Two reasons; One, keep em wanting more. Two she's a REALLY bad
kisser. :-/ ..some time later it occured to me. Maybe she hasn't
been with so many guys before (if any). I mean, I have kissed alot
of girls, and none has been this stiff and ...mechanical?

It was like she had read a "how to" in cosmopolitan or something.
... and I had to push all evening to get somewere. Sure, I moved
back some to let her "breathe", but only twice the whole evening
did she try to do something on her own.

Ok, the Q's.

First of all... do you think she's going to stay this way for ever
and ever, i.e. that she seldom makes a physical responce to my
actions. Sure she kisses me back and all... but I hope you
understand what I mean. She thought it was nice when I was close to
her with my hands all over her, but she didn't give any back.

...and is there something I can do to change this or should I let
her go?

Second, if I am to stay with her. How do I teach her to kiss better
in a nice way? ...cuz, I sence it on her that she knows that she is
a bad kisser, and I dont want to be mean or anything. ...BUT IT

Third, this doesn't really consern just this girl, but it is rather
a general Q... As I said this was the second time we met, but as
the time ran fast and it got quite late, so I stayed over. And me
beeing a very physical guy slept very close to her, BUT! ...I
didn't feel as if she were ready to have sex just yet, so I didn't
even care to try get some (the reasons mentioned above).

Was this too early to sleep with a girl? ..I made sure that she
wont see me as a friend and all.. but you know, I'm new to the
game, what can I say..?

Class! Pay attention. We are going to cover some of the important
learning points presented in that letter.

1) You got to go to her place on the second date. Nice! Getting it
back to her place is a solid step forward.

2) You went for the kiss. Sounds simple, but most men talk
themselves out of even trying for the kiss.

3) You stopped kissing her first. Excellent! Leave her wanting
more. If only a few men would learn this.

In answer to your questions:

1) She will not stay that way forever and ever -- if you do the
right things to get her to move in. She definitely has an internal
inhibitor that is stopping her from taking action on her desires.
But, in all fairness, IT WAS ONLY THE SECOND DATE. What up, homey?
What's the rush?

If her kissing was that bad, and you can't stand the thought of
kissing her again, much less sneaking into her pants, you might
want to just end it with her now. On the other hand, if your goal
is to get a little more intimate, then you ought to start working
toward that goal. What you're doing now is counter-productive.

2) How can you teach her to kiss better? Get her to slow down.
Don't insult her by saying, "You kiss like a jellyfish." Just
figure out if she's kissing bad because of bad technique, or
because she's not that into kissing you. Some chicks are confused
when they're young, and she might not be FEELING it. Girls rarely
kiss poorly if they're really into it. She's probably nervous, too.
Add to this the fact that you might be her first guy, and you've
got a prognosis of Beginner-itis.

So pull back when she starts getting all sloppy and bad, and just
whisper: "Shhhhhh.... let's go sssssloooooowwww....." I'll bet her
eyes will bug out just from hearing that from a man. Then proceed
to show her by example how you want to be kissed.

Every time she starts doing her old crappy kissing, you stop her
pull back and gently tell her to sssssllllloooowwwww down. Then
resume. There's no reason you can't train her to kiss better, and
then be sure to reap the benefits of that work.

3) It's not too early to sleep with her. It's whenever you want it
to be, and whatever you prefer. Just don't hold back out of fear.
When fear guides you, you're doomed. I will warn you not to get
into the habit of doing the sex-less sleep over thing. It's a bad
habit to start.

You might think "Cool! I can just sleep with a girl and not need
anything!" Which is genuinely good, as you've achieved a state of

BUT you also tread the dangerous ground of not making your sexual
intentions real. In other words, it's an easy lie to start telling
your subconscious - that you want to just sleep with her when you
want more. From there, you might start walking down that road where
Nice Guys run to their doom, and you might even begin to resent men
who sleep with women too early.

This is probably a bit esoteric for this situation, but it's
important for you guys to watch out for this complex and not get
caught up in it. I've done it, and I've counseled MANY others who
have had to be rehabilitated, too.

A woman needs to know that you're a physically safe person to be
around, HOWEVER, you lose your sexual charge by just sleeping next
to her like that. You'll be AMAZED to see just how quickly this
will happen, and how quickly you'll be looked at as a sexless
girlfriend of hers.

As for her restraint ... get over it. Some women hold themselves
back out of guilt, fear, phobia, lesbian tendencies, ignorance -
whatever. You must be prepared to do EVERYTHING. Right down to
taking off every stitch of her clothes, reaching down and ... well,
you get the picture.

She's probably got a thought process that says: "If I don't
initiate anything, than I can't be a slut, and nothing is my
fault." You'd be amazed how many gals start out thinking this way.

You know, I went out in the dating world for years and made a
complete mess of myself and my dates. Kissing badly. Fumbling to
get to first, second, third base ... Not sure how I was suppose to
go for home plate. Not sure if I was being too "nice."

I learned the hard way when women would lose their interest in me.
And, because I had no confidence that I could repeat my success
from the last gal, I'd get stuck in the "better than nothing"
complex, and I wouldn't cut my losses early enough.

Then, I saw what was going on. It became so clear that women don't
want men who just chase around after them like lost puppies. They
don't want "Nice Guys" who give them everything they want. (That's
the problem! Most every guy gives a woman exactly what she SAYS she

But before you go, let me ask you something...

Are you looking to develop a few of the skills that you need to get
dates with women? Not a ton of tricks, or magic hypnosis phrases,
just a few core skills. I've got 'em.

They're not complicated, either.

I cover this and many other topics in my e-books and audio. If you'd like to learn more about how the REAL players get the women, you can download the information right away.

If you want to get that kind of understanding and control over your
love life, you need to read my e-book. And you can get the benefits of my best e-books, with an iron-clad guarantee for the next 90

Get my books, the audio, read them and hear me explain the strategies, and then put it to work for you right away.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

A few updates...

I've got a link for you guys that want to learn a little about being cunning linguists...


It's also not for the easily offended, but it is informative.

And just a reminder to you guys that the new podcast is now available, too.
I'll be back in a day or so with a newsletter.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, July 09, 2005


Hey, thanks for the bonus book Carlos! I have been reading the secrets of
the Alpha Man e-book for the past two days and have already started to feel
more like a leader. I was so used to using alcohol as a crutch, that every
time I didn't get the girl I wanted I would get all upset about it.

I realized this is a big problem for me because last night at a party, I was
the first to go up to all of the girls and carry a conversation with them
and they respected me for it. I was drawing in girls' attention all over the
place, but when I started drinking, I took myself out of the game and the
girls were acting aloof. I was being needy, clingy, instead of acting like
the MAN I was before.

Is there any way to make sure I don't drink too much at parties, because I
work my magic so much better when I am sober. The thing is, I have a stomach
condition and my body can't handle the sugars in beer, but it can in hard
alcohol so that's what I drink a lot. Any suggestions?

Also, this condition doesn't allow me to eat complex carbohydrates more than
twice a week and I will be leaving for school in a month. I hate having to
explain to everyone who looks at me weird when I eat burgers with no buns in
the cafe. Is there a good way to play it off?

Two days? Not too bad.

As far as the alcohol thing, I can totally relate. You see, I used to be a BIG party guy. I mean, I got drunk with my friends all the time. I, too started to see that it was a crutch.

That's why I call alcohol "Liquid Balls."

It allows you to fake a certain level of courage and ability. And it does give you the lowered inhibitions to attract women and meet girls.

Now the cool thing about becoming an Alpha Man is that you can identify these behaviors more easily and start to make ... healthier choices in your life.

You're seeing that drinking can be a crutch, and that your opinion of your own personality is almost always off the mark after you've had a few.

I figured out the hard way that I wasn't nearly as funny as I thought I was.

So one way to reduce the whole alcohol dependency thing is to STOP BEFORE YOU START.

No, I don't mean that you have to pretend you're an alcoholic and quit completely (although you should seriously consider this if your drinking gets in the way of any other areas of your life.)

I mean that you need to keep your hand on the emergency brake from the very first drink. The tough thing about mixed drinks is that you can't take your time with them like you can with beer, so you have to balance it out.

Have one glass of water with ever drink you have. It will help you metabolize the alcohol faster, and it will slow you down on consumption. That will help you match the women you're with much better. It's hard to attract women when you're practically falling over them.

Also, you might consider wearing 4 or five of those Lance Armstrong "Livestrong" bracelets that were so popular. Move one over from your right wrist to your left for every drink you have. Then you have something to track it with.

Now, I want to address something else that you need to do to turn your attitude around. It has to do with your whole view of how you are perceived by others.

If you have a stomach condition, you have a condition. It's NOTHING to be paranoid or ashamed of.

And you are ashamed. I can tell by what you said. You're interpreting looks of curiosity as that of "weirdness." As if YOU are weird for having to eat burgers without the buns.

No no no.

Oh, no.

THEY are the weird ones for not being able to handle a situation out of the ordinary, or that they haven't encountered on a reality television show.

I know a LOT of people who are avoiding the buns and carbs just for the whole Atkins diet thing. And a LOT of bodybuilders do it for the massive intake of protein their bodies require during training.

You need to turn around your fundamental thinking and belief system from:

"I'm looked at as weird and different for doing what I need to stay healthy, and I'm ashamed that my being different means that others won't accept me."


"I am who I am, and other people will just have to accept me like this. I eat this way because I'm CHOOSING to. If they want to know why, they can ask, but I'm different. Tough sh*t. Accept it, or lose me as a friend. Now get over it."

Do you see the difference here?

You said: "Is there a good way to play it off?"

Play WHAT off?

Stop trying to NOT be yourself. Be who you are, and other people will just have to accept that or lose out on your accompaniment.

You have to get a little arrogant about who you are, and stop making excuses for it.

There's nothing wrong with just eating the burgers without the buns. If anyone looks at you weird because of it, they're just seeing if they can dominate you by making you feel inferior.

Just point to your meat patty and say, "Diet."

That will say it all for them.

Make sense?

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, July 08, 2005


Every so often I have these days where I get very anxious and edgy. It's almost like I'm PMSing, without the grossness. Yeah, I was a little bitchy. But it's motivational, because it lets me know when I'm not taking enough action to get what I want from life.

Today I got pretty aggro when I discovered a hidden vein of gold in my neck of the woods.

What I hadn't been considering was that there is a doctor's office next door to my studio. The pharmaceutical reps that come by to sell their drugs are ALWAYS babes. I'm talking hot stuff here. When I see a dumpy or ugly one come by, I feel sorry for her because she doesn't stand a chance.

And funny how the doc's a guy, and ALL of these reps are hot women.

So I created my intro and was all ready to use it, but no fish swam by me today. We'll try again next week.

If you want to meet girls and get laid, you gotta work your plan.

I'll keep you posted on how this goes.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


Recently, I got a job at a clothing store where many hot girls work. In the department where I work, there is this one girl that I find cute but have been playing it cool. I have shown uninterest and when she says hi to me in the morning I respond "Oh, hey" with a carefree "I don't care" tone of voice. Also, I try to disacknowledge her at times.

Now, when I first tried to tease this girl I was nervous and I kind of screwed up, and she had that unknowing look like she knew something wasn't right (that was the first day I worked with her). The second day I worked with her I continued to tease her and had the frame of mind of "I don't give a F*&* anymore what happens". I teased her pretty good and left some mystery in there when she asked me what I was doing after work by telling her that "she would have to find out on her own". I asked her for her age in a suspicious type of tone and she told me she was 17, and when she asked me what was mine I told her "I'm 50", she said "Yeah right", then I responded with "Fine, I'm 55".

She wanted my real age but I didn't give it to her to add some more mystery. So I was doing good and then one of her friends (who also works there) comes up to me when she is away and asks me what do I think of her. I kind of turned red like a f*&*ing wussy and didn't respond.

I acted a little weird (nervous) after that around her and her friend and I knew I needed to relax. I cooled down and continued the teasing which worked well in my relaxed frame of mind.

Now, towards the end of the night I had a little embarrassing moment where I couldn't open the door to get out and it was clearly obvious how to do it and I felt like an idiot. After I left work I replayed the whole embarrassing moment thing in my head and felt like a dick about it thinking that she thought I was an idiot for that.

Carlos, what do you think is the problem here because I really try to put on an attitude of "I don't give a f*&*" but its really hard for me to do. I just feel sometimes that I cant help it and fall into the deadly trap of caring what she thinks sometimes. Help me Carlos, I would appreciate it man.


I know I preach that you need to work towards an attitude of not caring what a woman thinks of you, but it seems to be hardwired in some guys heads. I blame single-parent families where mom was the only one around, so we had to please the woman in our life.

Honestly, everybody will care to SOME degree how they're thought of. Mostly because we have a social conscience at work. It's the part of us that understands that we do need to act somewhat in accordance with society, or we'll get thrown out and have to live in Mexico or something.

But let's separate the issues here.

The real issue is HOW MUCH you care what this chick thinks of you. Caring too much is always a downfall. Not enough and you won't be motivated to go after her.

So let's be a little clearer on the goal:

You can care what she thinks, but you can't ACT like you care what she thinks.

Now the dilemma here is that your thoughts always give you away.

You found that out when you made those blunders.

You see, somewhere in your head you were trying to IMPRESS this girl, and that's why you were boffing it up.

But you know what? If you have a calm sense of confidence inside, even those screw-ups don't bother you.

Seriously, have you ever been walking down the street and stumble on a bit of pavement that was uneven? You scramble to recapture your balance, and after the fear of falling on your face passes, you feel that instant blast of embarrassment.

Ah yes. Embarrassment. Between the fear of embarrassment and guilt, it's a miracle that anybody does anything in life.

But where was I...?

Oh, yeah. The tripping thing. I have finally gotten to the point where it doesn't bother me one bit if I stumble. I don't feel embarrassed at all anymore. I merely remembered each time it happened that EVERYONE does it.

Most people actually aren't thinking you're an idiot - they're just glad it didn't happen to them. Funny, huh?

Oh, your ally in this battle is going to be your sense of inner CALM that you can carry. For the most part, if you can relax and be COOL, you can glide through unharmed.

Right now you're probably thinking that she thinks you're a buffoon, but it's actually more like she's curious about you. She's probably flattered that you were so nervous.

But let's not repeat that again, shall we?

Work on pulling your focus back inside your own head and staying attentive to your own tasks at-hand. That should stop the clumsiness and keep you a tad more graceful.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


This list provided to us by who doesn't know the source, but I felt compelled to pass this along. It's not very clear in its delineation, but you should get something out of it.


A complete lack of regard for the life and welfare of those around you, a belief that your happiness eclipses any and all other considerations or consequences visited on people who aren’t you, a willingness to pay any price out of somebody else’s pocket for your own glory- that’s narcissism. You’re the center of the universe, and you can’t make an omelette without killing a few people.

This, like Victimization, is just one of the many makings of what I and a few of my confidantes refer to as the Psycho Internet Chick. They are a hardy and capricious breed, and a life-threatening hazard to any introverted male who spends any measurable amount of time with a computer, and is introduced to the concept of socialization there.

The related news is that, you see, I decided approximately 1 year ago to no longer indulge psycho internet chicks, because these two traits have spread through their number like gangrene. This sounds misogynistic, and it probably would be except I don’t indulge asshole internet guys either- and it’s pretty easy to sniff out and amputate those infected limbs.

Symptoms of Psycho Internet Chickery include:

1. Bringing up that they’re bisexual within the first month of having known them. This is an attention-getting ploy that is designed, with extraordinary effectiveness, to attract male attention, and is pretty much guaranteed lies. Females that are really bisexual avoid mentioning it whenever possible to their male contemporaries, because they’d rather not be imagined by those males in certain positions that you’ve probably seen on the internet*.

(This can be swapped for other benign eyebrow-hiking kinks, but bisexuality is the ringer of the bunch.)

2. Having a romantic catastrophe within the first two weeks of meeting them. This will elicit sympathy, or interloping, from the targeted male. In my case it was universally the prior- I have this thing about not wanting to interfere in troubled relationships. But the threat of it prompting the latter is enough to cause any chick with her head screwed on straight to keep her mouth shut around guys she’s only known 2 weeks… unless, say, she wants attention…

3. Eeyore-like mentality. Never a good thing going on in life, a continual sense of lacking that they must indulge. This is specifically to elicit sympathy, and also the Knight In Shining Armor reflex in a guy, which isn’t half as noble as it sounds. Guys want to endebt chicks to them- obligate them to remain with them after performing some feat of sacrifice or chivalry. Every man believes that this is how romance works until some point in their lifetime, and chicks know this.

4. Indignance at any indication of fault, in any matter, lying with them. Indignance that you, in fact, must apologize for, at which point you may be allowed back into their glorious presence. This is stated with more than a hint of sarcasm- you’ll definitely be allowed back, and although this sounds vague, nothing is their fault. If you catch them with a smoking gun, a stained sheet, or a Republican party membership card, it is less important that they had these things than it was that you had the temerity to have seen inside their purse, come home early, or listened to the Liberal Media (FoxNews excluded).

Mind you, they’ll never defend the undefendable. They’ll only distract and redirect conversation towards the things you’ve done which are now so much worse.

5. A love of “naughty” things. This is almost a standalone, any time a chick says the word that she’s being “naughty” in a cutesy-poo tone is a time that you should be changing your messenger handles.
“My bf doesn’t know I’m here, but… I’m being naughty!”
“I’m dieting, but I love this calorie-enhanced white chocolate- I’m being naughty!”
“I told my parents I wouldn’t drink while borrowing their car, but… I’m being naughty!”
“I told him I was on the pill, but…”

You get the idea. This isn’t an attention getting ploy, it’s dismissive justification for bad behavior. If you plan to befriend this person, you will sooner or later be the person defied, betrayed, or hurt for the sake of “being naughty”.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


I thought you guys might enjoy this humorous post from Flopjock's Blog -

Be on the lookout! Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers, and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. A date rape drug on the market, called "beer", is used by females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is found in liquid form, and is now available almost anywhere. "Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach.

After several "beers" men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on women to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking "beer", men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened the night before...usually with a vague feeling that something bad occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life savings in a familiar scam known as "a relationship". Apparently men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory female. Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. However, if you fall victim to this insidious "beer" and the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, July 07, 2005


Seduce Women the Way They WANT you to!

Thanks so much for setting me on the right path! Your e-books and advanced audio coaching are invaluable!

I have been in a slump lately with the ladies and I was wondering if you could give me some tips on getting a woman to call you back after just meeting them as cold contacts (i.e. in a coffee shop, the gym, etc).

I've been getting phone numbers by approaching women in these settings (using cocky and funny) for the last couple of months and have had some success but I want more.

Many of the women I meet have no problem handing out their phone numbers (and some would like me to write down mine too?) but when It comes down to getting in contact with them I'm having trouble. I usually wait 2 to 3 days to call and leave a message (most of the time they don't answer).

For example, "Hey Sara, this is B, I met you at star bucks on Saturday, Hope you had a good weekend, give me a call when you have a chance (insert # here) thanks Sara, bye!"

Out of 10 phone numbers I usually get 3-4 to call me back. Is this normal?

Hey, good job getting the ladies in the cold market. That's actually pretty awesome that you've got the stones to go and approach women in this environment. I'm glad my e-books have given you that confidence.

Here's something you guys need to realize about the phone -

It's an evil implement of the Devil!

That's right. The telephone is often one of the most abused and misused of technological marvels to meet girls and set dates.

Here's the other thing you have to realize about the phone - It's ONLY use with a woman is to SPEAK with a woman and GET THE DATE SET.

Notice that I did not say, speak to voicemail. Or play phone tag.

I said, speak TO THE WOMAN.

A short time back I covered this principle pretty completely in a Session of the Advanced Audio, which it sounds like you probably missed.

One of the facts of life that guys usually don't really come to grips with is that women rarely - if ever - answer their phones. I think women have conditioned themselves to just ignore it and come back to it when they feel like they need something interesting to do.

And in the meantime, thousands of guys are still calling and hoping and calling and hoping...

So recognize that it's going to be rare to catch a woman by phone the first time you call. You'll probably have to try her several times before she'll answer. Most of the time she'll be fumbling in her purse to find her mobile, and when she does finally yank it out there's about 1 more ring left for her to figure out who this strange number is on the display before you roll to her voicemail.

Gloomy, huh?

I will say, though, that if you're leaving a message and getting 3-4 to call you back out of every 10 numbers, you're actually doing well.

Most women will never call you unless you sparked their interest and curiosity enough to provoke the call, so you must be having high impact on those first encounters.

And THAT is actually the most important thing. High-impact encounters are the goal, because it leaves a lasting emotional impression on her that will keep you in her thoughts.

I'm serious that 3 or 4 out of ten is pretty decent. So if you're happy with that return. Keep doing what you've been doing. But it sounds like you want to improve the ratio a little more.

In order to achieve that, you'll have to take a wholly different approach.

You'll need to have to risk having much fewer return calls to learn how to improve your posture.

First of all, never leave a message the first time you call. All that usually does is programs your mind for obsession: "I wonder why she hasn't called? What's going on? Didn't she like me?"

And the Downward Spiral starts to pull you down. You lose confidence based on imagined reasons instead of the reality. (And it gets harder and harder to meet girls because your attitude starts to slip.)

The reality?

Here's a few possibilities:

- She wanted to call back but got distracted
- She accidentally deleted your message
- She's too shy to call guys
- She barely remembers you, but doesn't have the balls enough to call you back
- She just read "The Rules" for women and decided she's going to make you call her back
- She's PMSing and needs a little time
- She's dumping her loser boyfriend while she waits for your call
- She's reading "The Da Vinci Code" for the seven hundredth time

There's about a BILLION reasons why a woman won't call that have NOTHING to do with you. So those other 6 or 7 out of 10 that aren't calling are probably still good candidates if you keep on them. If you want to get a girlfriend, you gotta run the numbers.

Don't ask a woman to call you back when you leave her a message. Just say that you called, and maybe you'll call her back. Let HER twist in the wind for a few hours until you try again.

PLUS - If you ask a woman to call you, or thank her, or phrase it in such a way that she MIGHT interpret your message to say, "Please, oh, please return my call, I'll be so grateful..."

... well, she WILL interpret it that way. You'll sound supplicating and wimpy.

Instead, phrase it with more command in your voice.

"Hey, it's Carlos. I wanted to talk to the actual woman I met the other day, so I might try you back later on..."

That one is more authoritative. That says, "I'm busy, I'm IN DEMAND, and you're lucky to have gotten this call" without SAYING it. It says, "I'm starting to wonder if you are REAL, or just a voicemail." It says, "I'm not entirely sure if you were being honest when you gave me this number."

Not in a mean, nasty, irritable way, but in a calm, assured manner.

All with the tone of your voice.

Also remember that you'll never succeed 100% of the time with women. There's always an X-factor that you can never predict, and that will always be there. While you can aspire to 99.999%, it's not really all that realistic. It's just a good stretch goal.

Anyone that tells you that you can have success with women anywhere at anytime is blowing smoke up your you-know-what.

Instead, make sure you're consistent with your application of the strategies from my e-books. Those will net you the most outstanding results.

Better quality AND quantity.

So don't consider that a slump, brother.

Remember that a batting average of .333 is considered pretty darn good in the major leagues. That's about 1 hits out of 3 for you math-challenged.

And that's about what you're batting right now with your call backs.

You should look at the bottom line - The RESULTS you get versus what you want (and is reasonable to expect.)

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, July 06, 2005


Just to keep you guys posted on the Cliff's List seminar happening in Montreal, here's the latest. I was supposed to speak and attend, but my personal and business obligations swamped me out. Sorry guys!


This summer, come to Montreal for the seduction community's
premiere event of the year:


Meet and Learn from this outstanding and unprecedented collection
of the Top Masters of the Game, including the following Guest
Speakers who will be appearing IN PERSON:

David DeAngelo (
Juggler (
Doc (see his interview at
Steve Celeste (Toecutter) (
Tyler Durden (
Style (world famous writer and seducer)
Brian (see his interview at
Patty Contenta (
Stephane (
Steve Piccus (
Mark B. (popular contributor to Cliff's List)
Zan (famed rake!)
Brent (
Michael Emery (Bishop) (
Lance Mason (Sensei) (
Will (
The_One (AKA Cameron Teone) (
Dr Alex Benzer aka Dr Tao
David Shade (
Mystery (
Stephen (AKA PlayboyLA) (
Mike (AKA Sickboy) (

Tentatively confirmed:
Dimitri/Vincent (w w

Highly likely:
Swinggcat (
Bart Baggett (
David Van Arrick (www.askmastercla

Also attending:
Papa (
Thundercat (
Formhandle (
TokyoPUA (
Dwacon (
Greg (
Dave M. (
Savoy & Sinn (

Please note that with such a large list of invited guests, we
cannot be responsible for last minute changes including non
appearance of one or more of the above. However, many others have
been invited and we expect this list to grow substantially by the
time of the event.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, July 05, 2005


I just verified that our Podcast is now included in the podcast directory on iTunes.

So, for all you guys who are wondering how the heck to get podcasts, it's now so easy that you have NO excuse.

Here's what you do:

1) Get iTunes here:

2) Then install it. (Duh.)

2b) Then start it. (Duh again.)

3) Click on the little podcast item in the left pane.

4) Then do a search for "Dating Dynamics"

5) Then click on the "subscribe" button. And ba-da-bing ...

You're in baby!

That's all it takes and you can get our regular weekly (and maybe more than that soon) show ... With all the best dating advice for men -

The Dating Dynamics Podcast covers dating advice for men on how to get women, and keep them! Regular shows reveal inside dating tips and secrets on such topics as body language, how to talk to women, how to attract women, why nice guys finish last, and how to build your confidence and self-esteem.

Hang on, because it's pretty laid back now, but it's going to get kinda interesting.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, July 04, 2005

Happy 4th of July!

Just wanted to wish you guys a happy and safe Independence Day...

Get out and go to some fireworks, guys... there's tons of girls at these things, and a good opportunity to meet them...

Go see some Boom!

Oh, and the new Podcast is out. Go get it!


alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, July 02, 2005


Hey Carlos,

I just want to comment on the article you wrote "LOSING YOUR RELIGION", I can really relate to that young man, because I can still remember when I was 19 years old even though it is almost 3 years ago (I'm 22 now, I had a birthday 2 weeks back) when I was going through the similar confusion of religion (ideal world) verses following the "real word" of what works.

Although I am not Catholic and Filipino like that guy was, however, I can still see through the fluff of these religions... And I felt very miserable like I was suppressing a part of me that wanted to evolve and show my true identity who I really am as a person (and being a true alpha man). Painfully, I also had the "nice guy syndrome" which led me too feeling more anger and resentment.

Until I stumbled to the "THE SEDUCTION METHOD" website and check it out of curiosity, where I started reading your newsletters and buying your Audio Sessions, where I was blow away at the your most profound knowledge of sociology as well psychology.

I still got work to do, and I got the "Seduction Method" as present form one of my friends and your book is awesome so far, and I should by the end this week.

Now I got serious questions, although I am working on myself for a better life and future, I have been being encountering harsh criticism with my family, especially female relatives. My mother has been confronting me a few times of why I continue to read your stuff it's trash (she nicely puts it), because she found some of the printed newsletters that read coming home from school (I attend a community college - no dorms still saving, so I can have my own palace), and sometimes she taken my rubbers from my former private hiding places.

The lectures they give is this, "All you have to do is be 'nice and sensitive' and have a job/six figure income/affluent house and the girls will come to you" another is, "If I have a relationship with God, she will send me that special one" and they annoyingly say have only monogamous relationships, because that is what women want.

How do you handle these situations? Where you are being hounded left and right by friends and family to the point, where think you need therapy and your negative and insane just because you want to have a new way of thinking and at looking things (for what they are, not what they should be - REALITY) and refuse to embrace social/cultural/religious traditions?

Wisdom appreciated,



There are some times in life where we need to make some very important decisions.

Sometimes they may lead us to do things that are not what we'd like, but what we MUST do for ourselves.

Let's get one thing straight:

The ONLY person who has the greatest investment in you is YOU. You have to take care of yourself.

I'm not saying to become some sociopath who disregards all others. (Because that's what the people who can't take care of themselves and rely only on others and their dysfunctional relationships will try to tell you you're doing if you don't go along with them.)

I'm going to urge you to read a book that had a profound influence in my life, and is a MUST read for every guy who wants to improve the quality of his life.

It's called "Pulling Your Own Strings" by Wayne Dyer. It is the most important book for handling the kind of pressure that your family and friends are likely to put on you when you break away from their way of thinking.

There may come a time when you may decide that you must separate from them (physically and mentally) to pursue the intelligent Alpha Man path.

I'm not saying to forget your family, because family is VERY important to me.

I'm saying that in order to live your own life, you may have to get away from them to find what you're looking for.

Remember: No one is a hero in his own home town.

And also remember that any person who would hold you back or encourage you to do anything besides explore life and look for your own answers is actually trying to get you to live THEIR AGENDA.

Either you will influence others, or they will influence you.

Your choice.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

THIS is what women want...

"Secrets of Alpha Man" is the first book that really changed my life.
I know, it's a cliche, but for the first time, it's true.
This book tells the truth, without evasives thoughts or a magical system.
It's not just a Dating Program. Actually, is a Life Program!
Believe me, I've already read all the kinds of Self-help and Dating books.
And I've already lost my hope.

But the Alpha Man Program is totally different from all the others!

- Seth V.

Hey Carlos,

I am a 45 yo single custodial parent graduate student up here in the wilds of Montana. The kids are 4 & 6 and I have them all the time (no family in the area). But what I am writing to let you know is that after getting the Alpha Man and going through it a few times so far, listening to the cd's, and doing some soul searching I found out where I have been going wrong and am getting my game back.

I tend to think of things as they relate to music, in particular Roadhouse or Blues. Anyway I was listening to some music at work yesterday and it came to me that most men relate to women in a manner equivalent to Tab Benoit's song "Drowning on Dry Land" losing there head trying to find a piece of tail. This is where I and so many other guys was going wrong. I couldn't figure it out since I had game before, especially when I lived in HI and worked on a party boat booze cruise, but then reading Alpha Man it joggled the ole brain and I remembered the things I used before.

When what the women are really looking for is in Koko Taylor's song "Fish in Dirty Water"; they are looking for the guy that excites them so much they don't care what other people have to say. For them it is better to be with him than to be without him no matter what others say. I think that is where the 'bad boy' thing comes in for most women.

Now it is a different game being a single custodial dad but the same things still work. Just have to ramp up the Alpha and not be using the kids as an excuse or doing 'woe is me'. Anyway, Great stuff and keep up the fight of waking some of us back up with a slap to the head and teaching the others what they never learned to begin with. I think you are doing the women a great service too.

Have a great 4th of July.

K. N.


Amen to that! I get a lot of emails and letters, and one of the things that guys don't realize (because if they did, I'm sure they'd have a different, more aggressive attitude) is that this is GOOD FOR WOMEN.

That's right. Bringing out the best in you, the most assertive and confident male traits, is WHAT WOMEN WANT.

Women want guys that have their act together. Women want men with a good attitude and a healthy self-esteem.

And the shame of it is that so many guys feel shameful for giving women what they want. As if they're doing something sneaky or deceitful by improving themselves.

Wow. Hard to believe, huh?

Yes, You Deserve To get a hot girlfriend!

PS: And he had a couple great quotes in his email signature that I'm sharing with you other Alphas in Training:

Courage is being scared to death...but saddling up anyway. John Wayne

Honor is having the courage to do what is right and just in the face of adversity and also doing it when no one is looking.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, July 01, 2005


I've been using your material for a bit now. I am not all the way through all of it yet, but I am improving big time. I am getting new numbers every week.

Now I am not concentrating on just one (I've got 5 so far, 6 now due to today), but there is one I like a lot. See she works at the little convenience store on base that I frequent. She always smiles at me when I show up.

I remember last time I saw her before today, I was dressed all fresh and fly ready for the club. I had my cd case with me and she wanted to look through them and we talked a bit. (Should've got the number then). Anyways I walk into the store today and get in line. She's off in the corner doing inventory. She sees me and bends down so she could make eye contact. We exchange smiles and what not.

So after I get out of line, I walk over and talk to her a bit. I said her and I should kick it sometime, and at first she said she was busy, but I said so was I, so she gave me her number.

This is the part where I am not sure how to continue. What should I do to make the next steps go smoothly. Any suggestions on where the first meeting should be? It'd be nice to have this one work out.


Ah, yes.

There's the one of the bunch we end up liking more than the rest.

Why is this?

Well, there usually is one that stands out from the pack.

But you know what?

The only way you can mess it up is this:

By treating her different than the other 5 or 6 women you attracted to your Alpha Lure.

They're ALL EQUAL, dude. As much as you want to believe they're different, they're not.

I noticed a funny trend when I was dating large numbers of women at once, and it was this one little dating rule:

- The one you least expect to catch your attention will be the one you're with longer than the rest.

And the corollary:

- The one you want the most is usually the one that's the worst for you.

So don't be in such a hurry to focus on one woman. Trust me on this. The bad ones will weed themselves out of the bunch, and the good ones will rise to the top.

Make your first meeting very matter-of-fact. Call her up as you're heading out to a bar or small event. Then invite her on the spur of the moment. (Make sure this is an event that you're ALREADY going to. She'll smell the need in your voice if you aren't planning to go without her.)

Just take it EASY.

Let go of the need to want her more than the rest and you'll do MUCH better.

It's the unknown irony of Trying Too Hard.

Don't drop the others. Don't focus in on just one, because she'll feel the hidden psychological pressure of all your hopes being tied up in HER, and she'll pull away - thus prompting you to TRY HARDER. See how it goes?

Oh, and I remember your email from a few days back, telling me how great you were doing after getting the Secrets of the Alpha Man program.

Keep it up! Every guy that writes in after getting that course has had similar stories to tell...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men