Monday, November 05, 2007

When Women Try to Humiliate You...

Hey Carlos,

Your audio coaching has been really helpful and have been making some progress ... a girl asked me out to dinner. [I'm] not going to be wussy and say yes but suggest something more fun like bowling.

Have a girlfriend now who is 12 years older than me and lives 3 hours away she is still hot though and is Russian, thing is she wants to take things further like moving in together and my work so I am using a little delay tactic.

Anyway onto a different issue was chatting to a girl at the train station whilst listening to your podcast and she asked what I was listened to I just said 'psychology' then she asked to listen and I said 'no you won't be able to handle it.'

Then she grabbed the ear phone and listened and laughed and said 'Are you trying to learn how to pick up on girls' and I said 'Told you that you wouldn't be able to handle it', I didn't get her number but we had a fun talk and my energy level went up and confidence for the next girl.

Let me know what you think about this and whether this seems like the right approach from your perspective.

Regards, Craig
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CARLOS ANSWERS:

My guess is that you probably felt a little bit of embarrassment over the fact that you were listening to this and had to reveal it to her. She was testing you, and you gave the right OUTWARD response (your words), but I suspect she read your response as "I'm a little ashamed."

Remember that toxic shame is the killer in almost all of your interactions with women. It's the belief that other people's opinions really matter as much or more than your own.

Ask yourself these three questions:

1) Why did I let her listen in? Was it because I couldn't resist the demands of a woman?

2) Why did I feel weird about her hearing it...? (If you did.)

3) Why isn't it HER problem...?

After all, it probably seemed like she was mocking you at first, and then you probably felt a need to save face or recapture some dignity. If you felt that humbling impact in your conversation with her, then that's where the primary shift in beliefs needs to occur.

Your response is absolutely fine, but any response would work if you come from the right confidence and belief system.

You could easily have said (in a very fake wussy voice): "I'm trying to learn how to attract women because I just don't understand you females at ALL. (sigh)"

And play it for laughs.

When you can broadcast your own mockery and slight self-deprecation (without feeling it on the inside), you'll find yourself really broadcasting a new level of Alpha Power.

In fact, I tell you how to build this Alpha Power here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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