Monday, June 25, 2007

This is the way to play your confidence cards... The ALPHA MAN way...

Carlos,
Thanks for all of your advice in the past & future! I subscribe to your Advanced Coaching online!
Awhile back I dated a girl for about 2 months. We got along well & seemed to have good chemistry. For whatever reason it kind of ended, first her not wanting a boyfriend, me talking her into keeping it going, then me deciding that I should move on and do something else instead.

Anyways about a year has passed and during this time I have seen this girl a lot she goes to the same gym, bars, etc. She usualy gives me strong signals that she would like to talk to me, but I usually ignore her & do my thing. Recently though I felt like talking to her so I sent her a text message appologizing for the way I handled out situation and she responded back that she didn't handle it well either and thanked me for thinking of her. I have dated other girls in this time and so on but can't seem to totally shake her from my head for some reason.
It never really got very serious, I would have called it more casual dating. Is this worth pursuing her at all at this point? I do like her and she admitted she likes me too and for whatever reason it didnt work the first time around. But since she was never truly my girlfriend can we pick up where we left off? I am pursuing other opportunities as well as I learned from your books to always be flirting!
Please advise!
Thanks for all the past & future advice!
Nate
______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

Look, there's always a chance of getting it going again, but it just isn't always worth your time to pursue. Mostly because guys place too much emphasis on fixing what they broke rather than fixing their own bad habits.

Which is always misleading them from the True Path.

To paraphrase Shakespeare, The fault lies not in the stars, but in ourselves.

Your fantasies about what might have been are pretty much the same as the stars...

So you're doing the right thing by keeping your options open and keeping an abundance mindset. You're just wondering if you can go back there.

Well, the way you're caught up in this fantasy, you might as well go for it and either totally blow yourself out, or see if you can make it work. You've got a fixation that needs to be handled. (Remember, as I discuss in the Audio Coaching, your biggest enemy is really your own imagination...)

First - stop sending little apologies. That's removing the tension (not necessarily bad tension) that you need to start this fire. Remember that sexual tension is the spark that ignites the attraction, and without it all you have is potential, not reality.

Second - don't look at this as a pursuit. Look at this as an opportunity for her to prove why you should give her a second chance.

Do you see the difference in mindset?

One is "What can I do to GET her???"

The other is, "What can she do to get ME?"

You never SAY it that way to her, but you keep playing your hand as if you have the cards - and she doesn't need to see those cards.

If you want to learn this mental frame in a more thorough way, you should take a look at my Alpha Man confidence program...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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