ALPHA MAN QUESTION:
I've noticed recently that my cocky and funny and confidence from
reading your stuff has given me a good amount of popularity among
people in my college. Not just with girls, but male friends as well.
Within the past few months I have got A LOT of new friends added to
my phone and people often rely on me to plan and organize social
events and little group gatherings.
The problem is, there are so many people who want to hang out with me
its hard for me to find time for them or plan things with any of
the few groups I hang out with.
I know this question doesn't have a lot to do with dating. But more
towards the social life of an Alpha man.
How do I keep track of al these people? Its starting to get confusing
CARLOS FEELS SORRY FOR YOU - NOT!
It feels good, doesn't it?
That sudden increase in your social network. Being in demand for
And no matter what we may think about popularity, and how we turn
our noses at it, it sure does feel GOOD, doesn't it?
I used to be a real loner. I remember this time in high school when
I got a school jacket with our school colors and everything. Now, I
was a poor kid, and I couldn't afford to buy one, but apparently
they accidentally gave me one thinking that I'd ordered it.
I wore that jacket around and felt ... proud. I felt like I finally
belonged. I wasn't weird or different than the others around me. I
lost my teenage maladjustment for just a week or so. I got along
with people better and I felt more social.
And then they found me. The teachers realized I didn't buy the
jacket, so I had to give it back. After my disappointment, I
thought that I had just been acting that whole time. That gave me
the justification to going back to my old self again.
The reality was that my old self WAS the act.
And the other part of the reality was that nothing changed about
ME, just my thoughts.
It was my own insecurities and beliefs about my place in the school
For two weeks I was part of the "in crowd" based on this stupid
Now, it took me years to get over those feelings of inferiority and
insecurity, but I did. And when I did, and I discovered that I
could have as many friends as I wanted, I started to respond to
this sudden social wealth in my life by wanting to attend to it
all. Make sure no one slipped through the cracks.
Now, you gotta admit - this is a pretty good problem to have, isn't
it? Tons of friends and an active social life. (All from the stuff
you learned from me, but most of it was already inside you, my
Well, guess what? You don't have to keep track of everything and
organize it all. You can just go along for the ride.
Most guys WISH they had this problem in their lives, so I'm sure
I'll get emails about how all the readers want to start a charity
in your name.
Uh, yeah, sure.
Here's an idea or two for your social logistic problem - get a Palm
Pilot, or some kind of PDA. Keep all your contacts and numbers in
Then, make THEM plan a few things. Unless you like being a party
organizer, I'd say you need to make sure your friends are aware
that they can plan a few events and get-togethers here and there.
Remember, too, I don't usually condone the whole "cocky/funny"
thing on its own. It can be a very shallow technique used on its
own. But, if it's used with a good sense of calmness and
confidence, you'll get the effect that you're experiencing.
You get a lot of new friends.
A wider social circle
More women in your life. (A little bonus...)
And all your free time gets used up because you're now socially
That's what an Alpha Man is - socially desired.
He knows that it's not the anti-social jerk that gets to have all
the fun (and the women) in life, but the guy who's calm and
confident in his own skin, and can still be liked by others.
The Alpha Man also knows that self-development is the path to a
better life. It all starts with getting educated.
Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to better
choices. Better choices lead to better results.
And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of women.