Monday, October 31, 2005

Sorry the posts have been scarce this weekend. I made a MAJOR update to the Alpha Seduction site... go check it out.

The new Podcast came out yesterday, by the way, AND Audio coaching Session 26 is READY!

Go get it!

And thanks to J for this...

It's a comic that perfectly illustrates the kind of playful teasing cocky behavior you want to have with a woman...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, October 28, 2005



Dear Carlos,

I saw a beautiful lady in a shop and without hesitation I walked straight into her shop and introduced my self. At first, she hesitated telling me her name, that she was kind’a scared that am stranger to her…but after a while she complied by telling me her name and the area where she lives.

She refused to tell me the particular apartment where she lives and insisted she would not give me her cell number…….that she does not know me well.

I was not rejected anyway, she agreed that I can check on her at the shop whenever I wish. While we were discussing, I told her that I will surprise her and in the process she was kinda curious to know the kinda surprise that am up to, but I decided to keep her in suspense…. Telling her to wait for it.

She actually responded that she likes surprises and she has a lot of hobbies which she would disclose to me when I visit her at her shop.

My question now is, how would you rate her interest in me? I would appreciate your tips on what next to do cos I would like to have her as my babe.

Thank you for all your dating tips.

Awaiting yours.



Whoah, dude! You creeped me out on that one.

I realize that I have to guess a few things about what you really did and how you translated it to me here in your email, but something stood right out.

You were moving way too fast with trying to get information from her. That would freak anyone out.

It's like the cops interrogating her or something.

Gotta be more relaxed and cool about it.

Oh, and what I think about her interest in you means bean-dip-sh*t. I can't tell you that from an interaction that I'm experiencing twice-removed.

But I can tell you that if you're concerned, you're focusing on the wrong part.

You should be doing the things that GENERATE attraction, and then going after what you want.

Stop trying to GET something so quickly and GIVE her something first. Give her a laugh, a smile, a bit of information about yourself.

Apartment number?


She's probably wondering if that "surprise" has to do with being duct taped and thrown in your trunk for a ride out to the country.

There's direct, and there's be cool AND be direct. Add in a few more cups of Cool and try again.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


Thanks so much - we met up and I did exactly what you said, and she suggested we meet again at which point I did exactly what Dating Black Book/Seduction Method said...

I know you are a busy guy so let me cut to the chase.

You said in your book that the key was to find the need and fulfill it - I focused on doing that, and came up with - this girl falls into the intellectual category, is an only child and is looking to have her 'uniqueness' appreciated. Any ideas on how to fulfill this?

You are the best!


1) Yes, I AM the best.

2) Stop trying to think about how to fulfill her. Start thinking about how she can fulfill YOU. Her reward is getting to have you in her life.

Start thinking about things from THAT perspective.

Don't run around trying to impress women. That's a losing game. Instead, think about how you can improve her life by just being a part of it. Through your confidence, your humor, your sense of adventure and FUN.

Do you hear where the difference is there in thinking? It's 180 degrees from trying to meet her expectations and all about having her meet yours.

There's a great line in "Coach Carter" where Samuel Jackson is talking up his team, the Richmond Oilers. And he says for them to stop playing THEIR (the other team's) game and make them play RICHMOND's game. Not the other way around.


Compliment her on the things that she would NEVER hear about from another guy. Cultivate an air of mystery about you.

Then move in for the kill.

I know you want to "figure her out" and plan a strategy, but don't get too far in her head. She's still a woman. Treat her like a woman - the way an Alpha Man would.

And watch out for only-child issues.

Her need is to feel special, so use the specific methods I've discussed for complimenting her CORRECTLY. (NOT the chump way.) That should help you quite a bit.

Also, since she's used to being an only child, that's a great way to bust on her when she starts getting bratty.

"Oh, so you're still used to getting your way, huh, 'only-child-girl'?"


"Oh, you should have a t-shirt that says, 'can't play well with others'."

Of course, jokingly...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, October 24, 2005

Women's Tests:


Today I approached a girl on campus and started talking to
her, busted her chops, made her laugh etc. When it was time
to go I told her to give me her number and she said, No
that's okay, I'm sure I'll see you around. I was stunned
because she didn't pull out the boyfriend card. She said
just look for me, I'm sure I'll see you around I basically
just smiled and walked away.

WTF? Any insight here? I guess it's good to get rejected
every once in a while anyway, but I would at least like to
know what happened.


My first guess is, she's testing you. And she's playing a little hard-to-get.

AND she didn't feel enough HSV (high social value) from you to want to give you her number.

Hey, she knows she'll see you around, and by refusing to give you it, that drives up your interest level in her.

And, yes, she KNOWS this.

Hey, you're emailing me about her, so it must have worked, huh?

Clever girl.

And it's not a rejection.

It's a wake-up call to meet 10 other women and watch how fast this woman will suddenly want to be with you. When she senses that you're a true ALPHA, she will be interested.

Sometimes it has NOTHING to do with you. Some women will not help themselves. They will, in fact, sabotage their own happiness to play silly little chick games.

Such is life.

And the next time a woman says to "look for her," you tell her that will be tough with so many other people out looking for YOU.

Turn it around, dude. It's your life.

Your reality.

What are you going to do with it?

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, October 22, 2005

The Most Sad, Pathetic Chump of All Time

Would you like to hear a recording of what a sad chump sounds like?

Would you like to know exactly what kind of sickening wussy behavior turns a woman off?

I couldn't get through the whole thing, it was THAT BAD. This is an example of what you should


do for a woman.

Oh, and if you don't cringe as you listen to this guy, or you don't understand what's wrong with it, you better get on over and get my e-book right away.

Click here to listen to Troy's "mixtape of love..." (gag... choke...):

(Thanks to "meungawa" for the link...)

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, October 21, 2005


I've been reading your newsletter. I'm sure you are aware there is a lot of
competition in what you do - a zillion guys on the web "teaching" about
attracting women. Now when you run across the all too common female
complaint that their man cheated on them, I'm wondering how this is
accomplished when the man is either married or in a committed relationship?

Do women just not care anymore? Are men lying about their true intentions,
which face it are to get laid, not to leave their commitment? If it was
otherwise, they wouldn't cheat, they'd leave. Despite the zillion gurus,
all seem to speak to single people pursuing other single people.

I am trying however, to learn the dynamics of what is going to attract a
woman to a married man to the point she'll sleep with him. I have no use for
cheaters. But it's so common with statistics saying up to 80% of married men
will cheat at least once on their wives, I am trying to learn the dynamic
from the female perspective as to what a married man does, that allows a
woman to not care about his committed status and sleep with him anyway.

You know a man like this is "getting lucky" and isn't going to buy the cow
when he's getting the milk for free. How is he accomplishing this when he's
married? Is there no guilt? An overinflated ego? An inner game that blames
his wife for his cheating pursuites? A willingness to give up half of
everything he owns if his wife finds out and divorces him? What's the woman
thinking? Is it only certain types of women? But if you believe that 80%,
that's a lot of women. Where are these women and how are they identified?

I believe strongly in self-help products. But I haven't found one that
speaks to understanding woman from this perspective. I wouldn't contact half
the "experts" out there, but you seem to know what you are talking about.

Will any of your products be useful to me? I know this is long winded, but
I'm extremely confused.



You know, there's nothing I love more than someone questioning the validity of what I'm doing. It just brings out the fighter in me, I guess. I LOVE a challenge.

First off, the other "Zillion" advisors out there don't have a freakin' clue, dude.

Take a look at some of the book covers and jackets in the "self-help" section of your local bookstore sometime. They're either written by women who are stuck in their search for the "white light of love" in their thirteenth marriage, or they're written by guys with ridiculous hairstyles that you know aren't getting laid.

Academic knowledge of what attracts men and women is bullsh*t.

Why? Because they ignore that our rational minds are enslaved by our emotional minds.

Our EMOTIONS reign supreme when it comes to making decisions of the heart. Everyone else out there is going to tell you all the logical reasons, when you know inside that there is a different world happening out there. It's just like Neo in the "Matrix" man.

I'm your Morpheus. Nice to meet ya.

Here's your red pill.

No, I don't even offer you a blue pill. Take the red one or come back later when you're ready.

I don't want you thinking that you can go back to your nice comfortable "illusion" of life. The only choice for any self-respecting man is to get unplugged, and QUICK.

You're very concerned with the whole "cheating" thing. This leads me to believe that you've got some strongly defined notions of what "cheating" is to you, probably from past experience. You may even be coming from a strong frame of scarcity, which only adds to your confusion.

Let's set something straight.

Men AND women cheat in about equal numbers. If you heard my radio interview (available at the site for a limited time) you'd know that women even AGREE with this. And I even tell the reason why we think women don't cheat as much in that interview.

Women cheat as much as guys do, but for different reasons.

And the same reasons.

Guys want sexual variety. Women want emotional connection and acceptance.

And we often cheat for the opposite reasons, too. Women sometimes want a man that still has some lead in his pencil. Guys sometimes want a woman that will listen to him and accept him without being critical.

In short, we all want what we're NOT getting.

So don't be so quick to lay blame on women for putting up with men cheating. The same thing is going on the other way, too. It's easier to stay in denial.

Remember that lifelong commitment is not something everyone can handle. In fact, the probability is that 70% of all first-time marriages will end in divorce.

L, you gotta get your head on straight as to what REALLY matters in this game. It's not about why people put up with cheating, at least not directly. Why not have your cake and eat it, too?

People are insecure by nature, so it's always easier to cheat to "test drive" another person, and keep your safe, secure relationship in reserve to avoid the ache of loneliness.

We want two things: Something new with excitement and stimulation on one hand (what cheating gives us), and something old that is stable and you know is there for you when you come home drunk late at night (what relationships give us.)

If you present a man of high enough quality and status, no woman in her right mind would go somewhere else for her milk. She's gotta be too busy chasing YOU all the time!

And if she's smart, she'll have you chasing HER the same way!

Human emotional psychology is what rules the world of relationships, not logic. Marriage is logical and rational, so why does 90% of everyone getting married secretly fear it?

Because commitment requires the power of your rational mind over your primal desires. And we all know who wins that battle, don't we?

Don't get me wrong, I encourage long-term relationships for EVERY man out there. It's the best way to chip away at your insecurities and sculpt you into a mature human being.

Remember what I say: You'll learn more about yourself in the context of a relationship than you ever will trying to score as much bootie as you can.

But at the same time, I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass and tell you that we're all ready to do that "settle down" thing. The only way to find out what you really want is to experience many different women in your life. And contrary to popular belief, you're not born with this knowledge. You had to be incredibly lucky to find it out on your own at all.

A relationship takes WORK. Ten times - no, a HUNDRED more times work to stay with one person than to go find someone new. Relationships don't usually end because of the way the other person is. They end because they bring up all our insecurities that we're unwilling to change and take control of.

They end because after the first few weeks of starry-eyed bliss, we start poking and prodding at each others' insecurities, whether we mean to or not. And unless you've got your sh*t together, brutha, you ain't going to last.

So here's what I say: If you want to understand why women and men cheat, yeah, I can tell you about that. But that's not going to give you a whole lot of enlightenment.

Now if you're interested in learning how to improve yourself and attract the women you want into your life, without feeling a constant "threat of loss" feeling or insecurity every time a woman talks to another guy, you damn well better get my e-books and audio.

Start with the Secrets of the Alpha Man Program. That will give you an understanding of the forces that make a man powerful and a desired commodity in today's market.

It's got everything a growing boy needs... CDs, exercises, e-books, vitamins, minerals...

Get it.



alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, October 20, 2005


I love your audio coaching ... I am trying to catch up to review your new content.

As I told you before I went through a divorce that I never thought I'd get over and your tapes have been very inspirational for me to listen to. I am writing today because I am discouraged.

I have a bad neck for a young and still athletic age (25). I decided one day at the mall to go to this massage therapy for a 1 hr treatment. Well, the therapy is slowly helping my neck.

I began talking to the therapist who is my age. She is very cute in my opinon. She told me she is married and just had a baby. This was last November. I told her about what had happened to me because of my ex-wife. Six months passed and I went to get another massage from her. She is in the proccess of "trying" to get a divorce from her husband (he doesnt want to and they still live together). Apparently her husband has cheated on her now 8 times and she is tired of it. Because of this, she seems to be scouting the marketplace.

I see her regualarly for my appointments and we always have very good conversations. She flirts with me and I flirt back. She is a very nice girl and I must say I have started to like her alot. I am sure she is starting to have similar feelings for me. It is this uninterupted interaction that has allowed us to build attraction. I can tell this just by techniques i have learned from you.

Now my problem is this girl who I do like is unavailable, still married and lives with husband. And she also has a 15 month old baby. I'm sure your well aware of some of the pitfalls that come from dating people who have kids.

This girl and I seem to have very similar goals and values in life. I enjoy her personality as well as her looks and conservative nature.

My problem is I would like to meet this same type of girl except kid-less and available. I am not quite sure on how to go about this. I would be conquering all this alone. With my massage therapy we have time to talk for an 1hr with no interruptions. Because of it we both gained knowledge of one another. I am not sure how to do this again in a different setting.

Carlos, I know you're laughing. But I am 25 and the longer I wait, more girls keep having kids taking them off my market. Another issue is that most women I come across all seem to have a commitment with someone (we live in small area). If it is not that, they are wilder girls who want to stay up and go to bars all night long trying to get undue attention. I am not looking for that type of girl.

How do u suggest I place myself in the types of situations to find an available girl who matches my concept of what I am looking for. I can't move my location because I am growing my own successful business.

In a nutshell, I want to find situations like my massage therapy where I can interact with a woman so we can get to know one another.

Thanks for the help,

No, I'm not laughing at all. When you're stuck in one place, it can seem like your options are incredibly limited.

What you have to watch out for, though, is scarcity thinking. That will get you into trouble more than anything.

I've covered this in the e-books and audio so many times now, but it bears repeating.

If you feel as if you have no options, you'll start to lower your standards.

Jeeez, dude. You're 25. Not 65. You've got your whole life ahead of you. Don't sink it like this.

You don't HAVE to settle for the first down-on-her-luck massage chick that comes along with more baggage than they had on the Titanic.

You have OPTIONS.


I wrote about this a short time ago in the blog and in the newsletters I've sent, but it bears repeating.

Remember, the most valuable thing to a man is CHOICES.

All things being equal, the person with the more response potential (meaning the more choices of responses and alternatives available to them) will probably come out on top.

And that's what you need most right now.

You're focusing on scarcity, and what you're going to LOSE. You see time as LIMITED. You see life as CLOSING instead of OPENING.

In short, it's not reality. It's your PERCEPTION OF IT.

The old glass is half-empty or half-full.

It's what YOU make of it. The world is our mirror.

You want some opportunity to meet the woman you REALLY want instead of settle for someone else's leftovers?

- Get online, start a profile. Recognize that you may have to drive to another town to meet them, but if you want to play, you got to pay.

- Get my Secrets of the Alpha Man program. I kid you not, it is the single most influential thing you'll do for your attitude. I funneled all my secrets of self-confidence in there for you to have. Use them.

- Stop seeing this chick, and stop indulging in fantasy. The only way to motivate yourself to something you want is to get out of your comfort zone. If you just hang with this gal, you're going to have to keep her. And that doesn't sound like what you want.

Do what you have to, but start making some adjustments to the influences you have in your life right now. That's a big step in the right direction.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, October 17, 2005


Why do women say they have to go to the bathroom all of a sudden? Is this a good thing or what? I know part of it is b/c they want to talk about the guy with their friend.

Also would you consider having a physical relationship with someone who has a diease (probably sexually transmitted) if you really cared about them and loved them. How can I tell if it is a permanent diease or a temporary one? If I did get involved with this person physically how would this disease effect my health and my life? Thanks for the help.


Well, if they say they have to go to the bathroom, they either need to pee really bad, or they feel they need a break from the situation. Perhaps to talk about the guy, or make fun of him.

Either way, if they come back and seem interested in keeping up the interaction, you're doing well. If they come back and talk about having to go real soon, you flubbed it.

The question about the sexually transmitted disease is difficult. If you have a stable, loving relationship with them, you should consider it, but always with PROTECTION!

And if you want to know if it's permanent or not, look it up or call a doctor. (Hopefully you know WHAT it is...?) If it's HIV or Hepatitis, you should probably pass. No sex is worth dying for.

I can't begin to tell you how this would affect your health or your life, but I would give STRONG consideration to the fact that it WILL have an affect, and probably not a positive one.

Don't let your emotions lock you into a situation where you're sacrificing the quality of your life with this person. You can still have a meaningful relationship with them without intimacy, but it will always be lacking.

Don't lower your standards for some tail, dude.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, October 16, 2005

A post from 'C':

Here's a little something from the anonymous lady on the 'inside'...

So Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have glided across the threshold into matrimonial bliss. Who in their right mind, I would like to know, would dare criticize Ashton for choosing a woman 15 years older. Yes, an older woman. A woman, from my perspective, who is aging gracefully, is profoundly sexy, (with three beautiful teenage daughters) who by the way can perform one-arm push-ups amidst fierce multi-million dollar negotiations. (Women can do these amazing things- like work all day, schlep the kids around town, shop, cook, and still go salsa dancing until dawn.)

Yea, it’s true, women rock; and older single women- well let me tell you, they can make you tremble.

And why not, older women are in better shape, mentally, financially and physically then ever before. Hey- I can hear you mumbling under your breath- “oh yea, but with age and children come baggage and your not into the drama.” Ya know what I think; I think some men are afraid of the sexual and intellectual challenge mature women offer.

Guys, what are ya thinking? According to the U. S. Census Bureau, there are 10 million single moms in the United States alone. Most of them are not 19 year old, penniless teenage waifs looking for a meal ticket. Close your eyes, click your heels together three times and think about this... dating a beautiful woman, who has no interest in getting pregnant, does not need you to buy her dinner, diamonds or bus fare- who can pick up the tab if she so desires, and take you to scintillating sexual climatic heights, you have not even dreamed about.

A bit of caution, older (and especially alpha) women want to be with men not boys. You will need to acquire a certain level of sophistication no matter how old you are. But don’t get me wrong, we are not interested in suave, smooth talking, arrogant young men. Quite contrary, you can be confident and at the same time a bit vulnerable. It’s that fresh youthful vulnerability that turns us on- and you do not have to look like Ashton Kutcher, but if you do, I certainly will not run…

Speaking of running, I met this young man last week in one of San Francisco’s swanky downtown clubs. He was very handsome, tall, and sexy in his well-fitted designer suit.

Pierre had just moved here from Paris, and was staying at one of the other posh hotels in town. He had reserved a table near the entry and invited me to join him, along with one of his friends from Amsterdam. He ordered numerous items of haute cuisine from the menu, and a martini for me. I told him I had dinner earlier and that I would not eat anything. He said, “I had dinner as well, you will eat- you will need your strength for later.” He proceeded to tell me what he had planned for our evening, and it entailed going back to his hotel, where I feared, he was certain to eat me alive.

So I did what any mature woman would do- when the waiter put my cocktail in front of me, I glanced over my shoulder, looked Mr. Arrogant Pierre in the eye and said, “bye-bye.” I walked away too fast to look back; I could only imagine his expression. He actually had the tenacity to call me the next day and tell me if I met him for lunch I could redeem myself.

I do not know why younger men often ask me out; maybe I look 10 years younger- or I exude a kind of charisma and confidence that attract men. Perhaps, it’s because I live in a hip city where men are perceptive, confident, and ultimately very intelligent.

Well, I can tell you this; if you do not get your game together and dip into the warm, welcoming water of desirable women - you are missing the boat.

And you do know- I would never rob the boat, baby- just want to rock it…

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, October 15, 2005


Well, I have the secrets of the alpha man program but it seems to me that you focus on achievements and success to raise guys self esteem and self confidence. I thought success doesn't bring happiness? Also, there are many people in this world who don't achieve a lot but have a high sense of self esteem and confidence. How do you explain that Carlos? Just curious, thanks man.


Let's be clear, here. There are three DIFFERENT concepts floating around here, and they aren't always connected.

The three concepts that are getting mixed up are HAPPINESS, SUCCESS, and CONFIDENCE.

Happiness is a by-product of doing something worthwhile that fits your goals in life.

Happiness is NOT an outcome. It's generated by ACTION and following your heart.

When you say that success doesn't bring happiness, you're missing something important: Success doesn't ALWAYS bring happiness. It's not guaranteed.


Because you can win the things that look all shiny and new, but still miss the boat when it comes to satisfying your inner sense of satisfaction and sense of achievement.

If your true calling in life is to help kids get through difficult times, and you're spending it by playing office politics to get a director's position at your company, you're not a success ... to you. Maybe to someone else, but not you.

Make sense?

It's only by achieving goals through the definition that I provide you in the program will you be "happy." And not just through the process of the goals, but defining the VALUES that you have behind them. (See page 230 in the book. Also read the section on leadership that starts on page 259.)

"Success" is subjectively defined, meaning that it's different for everyone. The big mistake is to adopt the universal definition of "success" that the Media presents, which is that you have a ton of money, drive a flashy car, have the whitest teeth, and drink the most popular booze.

Success is what YOU define it to be for YOU.

Don't be deceived by appearances.

It's a complete picture that I paint for you only in the Alpha Man Program.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, October 13, 2005


For those of you that are interested (and who wouldn't be?), I'll be on an interview on WorldTalk radio this Saturday on the Singles Talk show with Aliza and Michelle. We'll be chatting up the state of the dating world, including some other interesting topics that have yet to be disclosed.

Here's their web site.

And here's the time:

Saturday 10/15/2005
1:15 PM Pacific time

You can point your browsers to this site and listen to the broadcast on your computer if you like...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Tuesday, October 11, 2005


My name is M and I'm 19 yo. I recently read your dating e-book "Secrets of the Alpha Man", and I find it really really good.

Never has advice been so powerful to me.

But here's my question, as I said before I'm 19, can I take this advice too or are you only referring to older guys? I know I'm still young but I really need to work on my dating life. Thank you...


Actually, my Alpha Man program will probably work BETTER for you because you're younger.



1) You're still able to change.

2) You're able to learn the right habits earlier rather than later.

3) You'll have more fun for more of your life than the guys who learn this stuff after a marriage or two that has failed.

And by the way - congratulations on doing what most men will NEVER do: Take control of your future.

If you go out and ask 10 guys if they need some help understanding how the attraction game REALLY works with women, I'd bet you'd get (maybe) one guy that might say yes.

But probably not.

You see, we're GUYS.

We don't admit we need help. Just ask a woman who's been with us in the car when we're lost.

And the Alpha Man Program is so much more than just a guide to attracting women.

It's a guide for LIFE.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, October 10, 2005


As far back as I can remember I have had trouble in one area of demonstrating my Alpha Man Power. I hope you can help…

To give you some background I have always been labeled as shy and introverted BUT thanks to all your awesome programs (the dating black book, advanced audio coaching, and the secrets of the alpha man) I have grown by leaps and bounds.

I’m able to approach women in the cold market on a daily basis and I have even improved my carrier with my ability to demonstrate my personality. Most importantly I feel confident and more of a man without the fear of changing and going after what I want!

Thank you for that!

So here’s the problem, I’m fine socially when talking one on one or even in a small group when things are fairly low key and not too wild. But when I’m with a group of friends at a bar or restaurant and things start become loud and fast pace (banter between people picks up speed) I can actually feel myself slip into shy mode.

I actually feel like I can’t catch up to everyone’s witty comments and as people become louder and louder I get quieter and quieter until I almost feel paralyzed…like I can’t say anything and my energy is being drained right out of me. I still try to make comments here and there but because I hardly talk in these situations it always feels awkward and like I have interrupted the flow of the conversation.

The worst part of this is that it communicates a lack of confidence and control and women can obviously sniff this out a mile away and boy do they run. My friends girl said, “You seem quiet tonight, are you a little out of your element.” I told her I was extremely tired BUT the truth was I did feel out of my element.

I’ve tried to fight this for years and I’m not happy to admit it but I tend avoid these situations. I know I can overcome this but I’m not sure how.

Thanks Carlos for your insight,


This is an excellent question.

I have something to confess ... I have felt the same socially MANY times.

I used to feel like everyone else was "on" except for me, and I hated the fact that I couldn't seem to keep up.

Here's a few ways to avoid this syndrome:

1) Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to perform at such a high level. The ironic thing is that the more you feel you have to be the super-witty cool guy, the less you can be. It has to come from a place of RELAXED confidence. Not uptight fear.

2) Feel free to start your own conversation threads. Use the tactics from the Approach Women program to take control of the conversation. Make the conversation what you want on YOUR terms.

Sometimes that "witty banter" is really just crap. It's dumb put-downs and non-sequiters that have no real substance. Everyone is acting like this is cool conversation, but it's really boring crap.

CREATE a cool conversation.

Start something yourself like, "Hey, have you guys ever wondered if there are gay dogs?"


"Hey if you were a candy flavor, which one would you be?"


"Did you ever walk in on your parents getting it on? What happened?"

The bottom line is to not try to compete. Instead, Be the LEADER.

Just because everyone seems to be all giggles over the witty banter doesn't mean it's very interesting conversation.

That girl's comment about you being "out of your element" was a way of lowering your status in the group. Her way of putting you down and making her superior to you, as if her "element" means that you aren't able to keep up.

Define things in your own terms. Just because it SEEMS cool doesn't mean it IS cool.

Find a way to stake your own claim in the conversation. Be known as the silent and thoughtful guy.

That's how I turned my reputation around in groups. I took the time to craft my responses and blew them away with the depth of my understanding.

No one makes you feel inferior without your permission.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


Carlos, if I may, I would like to make a comment/observation about a critical point you mention in all your e-books, and that is getting a kiss after that first extended date. I have kept a journal of all my projects and an interesting trend has emerged. If after the first extended time together, and not necessarily the first time, if I don't make a move then they rarely and usually never are willing to see me again!

Point is - Guys, make a move! Sometimes they are just too shy, an all out buying signal is rare, but I am rarely shot down, although that does happen too.

This may also have to do with my usual 'dating' activities which focus on taking the pressure off and having a good time.


Yes! Two critical points here...

First: Always move the experience forward with a woman. You MUST get some physical reciprocation of affection or interest from her, which means at LEAST a kiss.

Without it, she just throws you on the "he's not a man - he doesn't have the guts to move it forward" pile.

Second: Absolutely make sure that you're not putting her into a "pressure" situation, such as the traditional 'date.' That's a losing prospect.

Focus on having a GOOD TIME and you'll end up miles ahead of the chumps who think that you have to wine and dine your way into a woman's heart.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, October 08, 2005

He Gets It!!

My situation is this, I lost this girl by playing the "I'm not interested in you" after we already started sleeping together. She moved on and "dumped" me because she was looking for a relationship and I wasn't (or I didn't act like I wanted one). And she got a boyfriend. I didn't realize that there needed to be a shift from PU mindset to a relationship mindset. Anyways, lesson learned.

Now, I'd be okay with never talking to her again, really. But every so often, 3-4 months or so, we'll run into each other because parts of our social circles overlap. If I don't talk to her, it'll be weird.

I think, given what we had, we should at least be on good terms. In the same sense, I don't want to put too much effort into being friends with her because if I did I would look like the "loser" who is trying to get her back. I think she would percieve it as that anyways. And when I see her see is usually with her boyfriend. And me walking up and talking to both of them would probably be weird for everyone.

I'm not even thinking about trying to get her back. That boat has sailed. How would you handle a situation like this.



This is such a breath of fresh air. Usually guys are always writing with the question of how to get her back. Finally I hear from a guy who gets it. You can't go back and fix what you broke with a woman when you don't show her the right stuff at the start.

When guys take the Red Pill that I give them, they realize that they screwed things up.

It's like pulling a winning ticket to the lottery out of your coat pocket, only it was for a lottery in 1983. Now you know better, but it's just too late.

When you realize what you did wrong, suddenly you want to go back and fix it.

But you don't, and that's the most reassuring thing I've heard all day.

So you know what I'd probably do?

I'd buddy up with her new boyfriend. Make friends with him. If you do it in a non-obtrusive way, it will reassure her that you are capable of handling things maturely. Then you'll be able to intersect with her social group more comfortably later on.

What you bring up is interesting, though. There does need to be a change of mindset - slightly - from PUA to regular guy if you want to keep a long term relationship going. You can't keep things going exactly the same way, because you have to start being a bit more vulnerable and open with a woman you want to keep around. This doesn't mean you immediately start getting all wimpy on her and kissing her ass. It just means that a woman needs some romancing and maintenance attention that you have to hold back on initially.

Another way you can keep her acquaintance would be to start saying hello to her in passing every so often. Do it in a way that doesn't give her an opportunity to respond, so that it doesn't seem as if you're looking for rekindling anything. Just say hello to her just as you pass by her somewhere. Flash her about a half-second of eye contact, and look like you're on your way to something pressing and urgent (which you should be.)

Don't make any direct attempts to keep the friendship going, because that might get misinterpreted as chump behavior, but don't send any negative mojo her way.

The Alpha Male is the kind of guy who isn't concerned with other people's opinions, but knows that his reputation should be protected anyways.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Friday, October 07, 2005

How Do You Kill Attraction?

I have an important question that I think most guys are trying to understand. My question is what does it take to kill all the attraction inside of a women?

I mean, lets say you have been busting her chops for the longest time, not accepting her manipulative behavior, and acting like a man and you get nervous a few times around her, or you give up some control, is that enough to kill the attraction inside of a women?

Can a few instances like that kill the attraction? How does that work?

Thanks Carlos.



The truth is that it's much easier to kill than to create, which is what leads so many men to despair.

Yes, all those things you list can kill a woman's attraction for you.

But think of it this way: Attraction is like money in the bank. When you do something wussy, you make a withdrawal. When you act like an Alpha Male, you make a deposit.

The unfortunate thing is that withdrawals are much larger than deposits in this account, so one stupid screw-up will cost you quite a bit.

But it's more about how you handle YOURSELF than it is her. A woman will accept the occasional control violation if you are consistent with your character.

A confident man can be vulnerable. In fact, ONLY a confident man can be vulnerable in an attractive way.

Sometimes nervousness can be endearing to a woman as a slight vulnerability.

You're not trying to become the God of Confidence. You're still human.

But you should seek to make your insecurities and needy behavior as minimal as possible, so that they're the EXCEPTION, not the norm.

Ya dig?

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Dating Advice Newsletter

Dating Advice for Men Newsletter - Advice for the Alpha Man
The Truth about Women ... for the Intelligent Guy

Did you know that Session 25 is now available?

The latest Advanced Audio Coaching is now ready for download at: /audioprogsub.htm

We've got over 110 minutes of brand new advice for you, all explained clearly in digital audio. I explain some of the most important principles of dating to you in a file format you can download immediately and listen to tonight!

And this month has some of the key principles of the Seduction Method outlined...

Hurry over and get your copy right now...




I've got The Dating Black Book...

the Black Book teaches one how to love the right way. You see, people say they love, but they realy need.

Loving one and needing one are 2 different things. Needing one can cause that individual to feel drowned and to run. Really loving one the right way will make that individual feel so good that they will run after you.

The book helps one learn this (concept) which is easier said then done.


But I have a question!
Whats the acceptable age difference a man can have to a woman in a serious relationship?

How many years older can he be than the woman and still be free of complications and problems in a serious relationship (marriage) with that woman, due to being older?

Whats your opinion?


Glad you enjoy the e-book... That's a good point, and a subtle one that people often miss.

When you come from a place of NEEDing versus WANTing, you come across with a very insecure and unhealthy vibe. Women are turned off from it.

But now you want to know what age difference would be healthy.

Well, it's been my experience that the man really needs to be older than the woman for things to work out. Guys wanting older women is usually due to a strange fetish, or just a desire to have a romping good time in the bedroom. (Yes, older women are much better in bed than younger girls.)

Now, how much older can you be than her?

As much as you want. Most girls are looking for men they can look up to and respect. Older men are creepy to women if they remind them of their grandpa, but if they're a hip and exciting older guy, they can really dig on it. If you're not some semi-bald, dorky looking professor type, you'll do a lot better.

I can't give you a specific number of years. If compatibility is a crucial factor in your selection, then I'd recommend you stay within a few (1-5) years of the girl you're dating.

Otherwise you'll find her talking about Eminem, and you'll be talking about M&Ms.

Marriage requires a level of rapport and understanding that is harder to obtain if there's more than 10 years between you. (And the younger you are, the closer your age needs to be.)

But if you're just looking for a good old fashioned poke-in-the-whiskers... Any legal age is open.

Note that I said LEGAL.


Hey coach

I love your tips in the newsletter, and I have a problem you can help me with.

I have girl friend that I love, been in a relationship a year now, I'm 19, she's 17.

The problem:

We haven't been seeing each other lately due to me not having time, she can't see me when I do and I don't have my own place for privacy. It's really bad for the relationship I know.

Last night I was calling her she wouldn't answer then she sent me message saying that she loves me, she does not want to be in relationship at the moment and needs to focus on college etc.

We are going to see each other for the last time on Thursday, well for not for a while anyway because we planned a date in advance to see each other again in a couple months time.

It's getting scary.

I didn't want to fall in love with her in the first place, deep down inside I would let her for my pride, but I don't want her to go because I'm afraid that another guy might [give her] the thing I want her feel through an orgasm! It's silly, I know. what should do? Should I even see her this Thursday? And even if I should, how should I act?

I know I'm just being selfish and probably doing this ease the tension.

But I need your advice, thanks for reading.

- A


She's going to college, and she wants to be free. I hate to tell you this, but it's so she can have fun. Yes, with other guys.

And she will not be a good person to be with right now. She'll tear down your self-esteem if you try to tie her down. You'll wind up being one of those crying wussies if you try to cling to her and get needy. It's one of life's difficult lessons, but it must be learned.

I suggest you get one last night of fun with her and consider her lost to the wild years of college. The easier you let her go (not making a fuss and crying and getting all emotional) the more chances you'll have of sticking with her, even if for the occasional booty call.

And you should be doing the same thing!

You see, I caught you saying "I'm doing this... and I KNOW it's bad" several times there.

But I don't think you understand how much of a loser line that is.

Anyone that says, "Yeah, I know, BUT..." is just giving themselves an out.

"But" WHAT?

That's like saying, "Yeah, I know that driving drunk is irresponsible, but I can't help it."


You're just giving yourself an excuse to continue the same unhealthy and damaging behavior.

Stop saying "I know" and start exerting some mental self-discipline over yourself.

Because what you're REALLY saying is, I know I'm doing something wrong and I can't control myself. I have no self-control or self-discipline. I'm a slave to my impulses.

Now for the HARSH TRUTH: She may love you, but she's leaving you. Not just for college, but mentally and physically.

You're not being selfish - you're being INSECURE.

Your need to give her this experience is just your way of satisfying your own insecurities. You hope that if you show her the gold, she'll never want another guy.

Sorry to tell you this, but she's in an age where she's going to get experienced, baby.

She's going to romp it up with some college boys. You're on the way out.

Just bow out gracefully before she dumps you hard and you start sending emails about how you "just want one more chance..." or asking me "How can I win her back..?"

An Alpha Man has CONTROL over his impulses.

Here's how you act -


Show her a guy who can confidently go out and find another girl in a heartbeat. That's the only way she'd ever want you again. 

And even then I think that your cause is nearly over.

I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but let's get real here. I'm also not here to blow smoke up your skirt and help you duck out on reality. Your friends will do that for you. In the mistaken impression that they are being a better friend to you by helping you ignore the Truth, they'll tell you what you WANT to hear, not NEED to hear.

You need to let her go, because that's the only way you can emerge with any self-respect and dignity. I've seen hundreds of guys go down this path, and it will DOOM you to chump-hood for the rest of your life.

So STOP pretending that your actions are okay when they're not.

START holding yourself to a higher standard of behavior, and start sculpting that inner Alpha Man before it's too late. Start developing the self-control and inner confidence that women want.

You want to know how to get started?

First of all, you need my e-book - The Dating Black Book. I've packed this e-book with HUNDREDS of examples, tips, strategies, explanations, what to say, what to do, how to interpret situations, and how to clean up that stinkin' thinkin' ...

Don't ignore that little voice inside you right now that's telling you to take action. It's the one part of you that you can trust.

All the good stuff is inside this book. And you can get it here:

Oh, and I've got an e-book and 6-CD audio program you'll want to see, and this new program covers every part of your self-confidence and INNER game.

This program covers ALL aspects of overcoming your shyness, fears, and insecurities with women (and with life) and gets you on the path to TOTAL self-confidence.

Listen to what this guy has to say about it, and how he's learned from the program:

"The negative self-talk was killing me for decades, that's my motivation for doing this. No woman is going to give me s*x out of pity. s*x is just a mindless fat-burning exercise like climbing the StairMaster; it's the skill I want so I won't become co-dependent. Being desired is the prize I'm looking for, and I need to accept myself first.

"I had a very attractive woman 6 years ago who was even needier than me... like a small child hanging off my arm... it mirrored my own insecurities and made me very uncomfortable. That's how I made other women feel and they left or never felt attraction, not because they were confirming my cooked-up negative fantasies I thought was their impression of me.

"As for my past, WHO CARES!!!!! Those are the two most relieving words I have ever adopted.

"Glad to be in your bootcamp.. - C.H."

There are more testimonials at the bottom of this email for you to read...

This new e-book and audio will guide you through exercises, tips, and strategies for changing your life RIGHT NOW. It's not just about getting more women (even though that's a really great side-effect of this program), but we show you the way to a more successful LIFE - business, family, social, financial... everything!

I've even thrown in a few extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with this offer, too. I've spent the last year creating this great program, including the best of our Advanced Audio Coaching Sessions, with 34 all new tracks specifically aimed at this topic, and HUNDREDS of pages of new advice on how to get your game together with women.

You can see the complete list of contents here at:

If you order today, I'll send you the 393 page e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started.

Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.

I'll be back with more advice soon ...

- Carlos


"Dear Carlos, Your program is a "killer..."
It helped me to get rid of many traits of the so called "nice guy" - shyness, indecisiveness, "ass-kissing", etc.

... It boosted significantly my love and s*x life. Not only [this] ... It helped me to be more successful in doing business, I can now easily spot when somebody wants to "walk over me" and try to make me submissive as usually women do. Thanks a lot!
My best wishes to you!"
- S.D.
Sofia, Bulgaria

"I LOVE your Secrets of the Alpha Man program. It is by far the best overall e-book and audio program online that I have read....and I have done my research and read all the popular e-books and what not.

"I already was having a lot of success prior to the program but my success has doubled since reading the e-book and listening to the audio." - D.

"... About your Alpha Man program... It's bad ass. I'm only halfway through the book (200pgs) and halfway through the CD's. It's really phenomenal..." - T. T.

"Carlos, I purchased the Alpha Male program recently and I must say it’s the best investment I have ever made in my own personal development. I have had seeds of thought and insight on some of things you talk about in the books and tapes, but now I’m getting a fuller picture of what it takes to be a real man. It’s incredible..." - B., Colorado

"Hey Carlos ... Listen, I want to thank you for all of your work in these CDs and e-books. I've only had them for about a week and I've already made some major breakthroughs. You opened my eyes in being an Alpha Male.

"I was recently getting to know this girl... and I was being the "nice guy." Boy! the way you described the steps a man goes through to get to "she's the one for me" is right on target! I was able to step back... put her in her place on the phone and in person--it felt GREAT (so empowering!). I ended up not liking who she is and have moved on since.

"Also, I went to a club the other day... and I usually don't because I don't know how to dance that great--but I did anyway. I applied your exercise where you don't look at the final outcome... you just take the first step... and be an alpha man there.

"Well, I felt powerful and by the end of the night I was leading this girl around the club by her hand (taking charge), ordering two beers and sitting down with her with my arm around her like an alpha man should. She was so into our conversation and I felt like I was totally in charge.

"Oh, and yes... I danced with 5 gorgeous girls that we had dinner with. Damn! it was good.

Carlos... seriously... thanks!"

- 'D' Los Angeles, CA

Send this email to someone who can use the information. Help spread
the word!

(C) 2003-2005 DD Publications, All Rights Reserved.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Monday, October 03, 2005


I met this 19 year old girl ( I am 38) and we really hit it off. She asked me one day to go riding with her and we went to dinner and then we went to her house so she could change as we were going out to drink. We left her house and she realized she forgot her cellphone. She said she had to go back and get it because her parents would freak if they couldn't get in touch with her-if they called she was going to tell them she was at a friend of hers-so she also said she would drop me off at my car (which was at a bookstore) because if her parents were home she may not be able to come back out.

I looked and sounded very disappointed by this and maybe slightly upset. She had told me she didn't do anything on the first date-and had given me a little friendly rebuff when I kissed her neck out of the blue earlier- and I told her that was okay.

I admit I was upset because she had a bag packed to stay at my house when we came home from the club. We got to my car and I was determined to kiss her before she left and I leaned in to do this and she sort of ducked her head and said, " I told you I don't like to be pushed." I asked her if she was mad with me and she said yes, but it
would be okay.

She went home and I called her an hour later and confirmed she wasn't going to get to come back out. I said," I guess you're in for the night?" and she said, "yeah." I said, "I wish you a goodnight then." She said, very quickly." Okay, goodnight." I thought she sounded a little standoffish and so I said,"Are you still miffed at me?" and she said,"You broke my rule." and I said,"One mistake and I can't be forgiven for it." and she said,"When you break my rule that's kinda it for me." I said,"So, you don't want to go back out?" And she said, very nicely,"No." I said okay and we hung up.

I knew her for a little while from talking to her in the booksore where she works-that how we got to know one another and we were really into each other on the date so what happened and how can I fix it? I really do like this girl. Thank you


This is one of those letters that I have to read while leaned over the toilet, hurling my cookies and flushing every few seconds.

I counted so many unbelievable errors in your approach that I thought this had to be a prank email. On the chance that it's not, let me suggest something that will probably save you from NEVER getting laid again:

Get my Alpha Man Program NOW.

Let me be perfectly clear here. You have almost ZERO chance of getting this girl back. The more you try (especially like this) the more you'll condemn yourself to a downward spiral of anxiety, failure, and lonely nights that would make Saddam Hussein's remaining life seem enviable.

A short list of errors:
1) Asking HER for permission
2) Calling her within an hour of a bad date
3) Living by HER rules
4) Getting upset with her - no emotional control
5) Asking her if she was mad at you, and caring

This is a situation so urgent that I considered calling your mom to go over and slap you before you did it again.

I'm not trying to be mean or abusive. I really think you're going to have a LOT of trouble with women if you don't make some BIG changes right away.

Get my Alpha Man Program NOW. You'll thank me like this guy did:

"I ... wanted to thank you for all of your great programs. They have really helped me in improving my attitude, confidence, and understanding of women, as well as how a man should behave in general. I still regularly read the DBB, SM, Alpha Man ebook, and listen to all the audio programs, from Session 3 all the up to last month's session...

"I'm trying to apply as much of it as I can to my life, and it has really made a difference. I used to be totally clueless about all of this, and I didn't really know how I should behave as a man.

"My dad told me once that, 'A woman wants a man' when I was a teenager, but I didn't really believe him, and continued not knowing what the hell I should act like.

"Your programs have given me so much understanding, heck, even my voice has improved! ... That's just one of many examples of how you have positively impacted my life. Thank you again, and all the best!" - D.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Use Sales to Approach Women

I am taking a sales course and the name of the course is called "Sander Sales Course". Anyway one of the things during the course I am taking is that the instructor mentioned that the one section is great for picking dates?

It is broken up like this:
- Thanks - "Invite".
- Time = Ask?
- Their question - Bring up question of concerns they may have.
- Your questions - Bring up what questions you may have.
- What kind of outcome - (Yes, No, Clear Next Step).
- Biggest Fear.

I thought to myself this is one of the biggest sales jobs that we will ever do is to sell our selves to the opposite sex. I don't know how I would word it yet, but I think it would be interesting way of doing it.

It may go something like:

Joanne, thanks for letting me talk to you and do you have 20 minutes. I would like to sit down to see if we have any things that would be beneficial for both of us. I know you have questions, such as who is this guy, why would I want anything to do with him, does he have any thing of value to me, etc. I have some questions as well, such as who is lady standing in front of me, is she sassy enough for my interest, etc. Would you do me a favor and be very honest? If we don't have anything that is of benefit to each other can you tell me that? (You want to get a yes, no, Clear Next Step). I have one fear and that I will not be able to connect to you in some way? (Pick what ever your fear may be).

I don't know if these are the best words, but it is the idea of it. I think it would be better then most of the opening lines that most people use these days.

- D.J.


I like the approach. It's honest, and it's straightforward. You have to understand that it will freak a lot of women out because they're not capable of dealing on this wavelength.

I would just re-tool the wording to be more laid back and casual. If you can deliver this with a calm sense of confidence, it would be a great approach.

A lot of sales material is VERY applicable to dating and pickup.

I do think that this particular method would be best suited for a close after a first meeting, to get the next date.

Here's what I'd do with it:

1) Remove the wordiness and the "I'm trying to prove myself tone.

2) Shorten it up

3) Be direct, but don't freak her out with too much 'honesty'

Leave your fears out of it. That's not what she needs to hear right away. Fear-based disclosure creates discomfort when you don't know someone well enough, and it's never a good idea on the first few meetings.

She needs to feel a sense of safety and confidence from you. Remember, you have to have enough confidence for the both of you.

This is the principle of the Secrets of the Alpha Man

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Saturday, October 01, 2005

In case you didn't know, the brand new coaching session came out
late last night. It's Session 25, and it marks the start of Year 3 of
providing you top quality monthly audio for you on the subject of
dating, and improving your confidence with women.

We're going to be around for a long time yet to come!

Here's what you're going to learn in this session:

Session 25 - Advanced Audio Coaching

- ALPHA INNER DIALOGUE - How to use questions to raise your
self-confidence and end your obsessing on failure, The two most
powerful questions you can ask yourself, the difference in mindset
between the chump and the champ, the ultimate game plan for all
success, how your interpretations are faulty...?
- CREATING LASTING CHANGE - How to change into the person you want
to be, how choices and options work for you, the importance of
re-framing, The most powerful computer that everyone has, essential
mind-conditioning principles, the nature of fear, reading list with
recommended resources for growth...?
- ALPHA LIFESTYLE - The basics of proper nutrition, how your
eating translates to your dating skills, hot much to eat and how to
keep your weight down, the basics of balance in your diet...?
- SPONTANEITY - The sudden impact techniqe of the Alpha Man, How
the unpredictable works to increase her attraction,
outcome-orientation, What women are drawn to, examples of the
spontaneous principle, Random Joke and Random Date techniques, how
to pre-plan and present spontaneity...?
- ALPHA MAN EXERCISE - We'll show you the best way to diagnose
your presentation and visual appearance skills on your own, getting
quality feedback, what to watch for, removing embarrassment and
criticism ... ?
- THE SEDUCTION METHOD - Discussions from the e-book - Definition,
how you're seduced, Critical mistakes of seducers and how to avoid,
the biggest turn-off for women, the big mistake that ruins most
seductions, the primary goal of seduction ...(it's not what you
- PSYCHOLOGY OF SEDUCTION - How to keep yourself from burning out
and training your brain correctly, How a woman keeps herself free
of blame, P&P motivational principles, How to use scarcity, how to
increase your desirability, the Slut Complex explained, what you
must know about the Veil of Romantic Illusion ...

And a whole bunch more...

There's a ton of great stuff in this month's session. And I always
sneak in a bunch of secrets that you won't want to miss out on.

Grab it now ...

You can download it here: Advanced Audio Coaching

The Audio Coaching subscribers have already downloaded their copy
of this session and are enjoying it now, AND bonus audio segments
every month that ONLY subscribers get.

Plus, you get an EXTRA complimentary session if you sign up now.
and it's even LESS expensive to subscribe than getting it

If you'd like just this month's session, Click Here: Audio Coaching - Single Session


PS: If you're already a subscriber, I sent you your
link. I'll also have your bonus segment for you later this month as well.
(*You don't get the bonus segments unless you subscribe.)

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men