Friday, October 20, 2006

Approaching women gives you a buzz....

What's up Carlos,
I ride the local city bus quite often during the week. One of the bus routes that I take is roughly a 25 min. ride. (Depending on the driver.)  I'm not in a rut by no means. But if I see a woman that I want to talk to, I can't engage and disengage like you say that we can do.

Because I'm stuck in a seat for 25 min whether I'm close or far away from her. (Not all the time, but typically all the seats are occupied.) But this is what I thought up of.  If there is a vacant seat next to, or behind her, I could do it at the end of the ride last 5 to 7 min or so. Then I can engage and disengage. But here's the problem. If all the seats are occupied, then I could get off at the same stop as her. But that's hardly, and never guaranteed, (Because I have my own stop to get off at.) It's possible, more likely even, that I could get off before or after her.
Like I said, I'm in no rut, I'm not going to sweat it. Neither am I creating excuses for myself. As you see above. (Now if you see any excuses, tell me please Carlos!)  If I don't get to talk to her, then oh well, next! But my question is giving what I told about this little, ah how do I say. A very well appreciated puzzle.
What would you think up of Carlos?

Oh and by the way this buzz before approaching women is more tolerant, actually by me invited, to the point I wouldn't think of it as crazy to approach. =Fun!
One way I made my self get tolerant is to say, hello, good morning, good afternoon etc. That, a few things, and then everything else you of course.
Is'nt that great. Thanks a lot my friend.


That is a great observation, and I'm not sure you realize how important this is.

The very process of approaching women should give you a slight buzz. It's a natural high of energy that can't be beat. You don't need drugs or alcohol to get an altered state of mind.

What do most guys do with this energy?

They suppress it or shame it away. Which is only done out of FEAR.

Which is a shame in itself because the energy you get from this experience is a real juice.

Just last night I was sparring with some of the students in my martial arts school. They were all well below me in terms of rank, but I wanted to give them a little experience in what they might experience on the street. (As if they're going to be attacked by a black belt anytime soon, right.)

When I got done, I was tingling with the energy of INTERACTION. It was a blast! And even one of the students came up to me and said, "It's a bargain to PAY for this kind of experience."

I agreed.

The other point here is that you're doing the right thing by warming yourself and getting "tolerant" as you said. Getting into the groove by just saying hello to people is a good way to dissociate yourself from all those worries about other people's opinion of you. You start to realize that YOU are in CONTROL of the world.

Most people are far too scared to put themselves out on the line like this. And the sad fact is that you're risking NOTHING.

You have NOTHING to lose, but we're all so afraid of being rejected, we hide in our little cocoons.

As for your bus riding dilemma, I used to encounter this myself. It's a unique situation if you're on the bus with somebody for that period of time.

I would start by positioning yourself in a way that you can encounter them either getting on or off. Then you can say hello and gauge their reaction to you a little and decide if you want to go further with it.

I do not recommend going uncomfortably out of your way (i.e., getting off at their stop) just to meet her. Too contrived.

Instead, why not make it a point to stand, even if there are seats, or offer your seat to her. This will position you to talk to her and give you a reason to talk to her.

Be brave. There isn't always a clever way of talking to her, and that's what most women appreciate anyway. Directness. It's flattering, and confident.

These are just some of the things I cover in the Approach Women NOW program. You can get yours here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


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