Saturday, October 14, 2006

Don't be jealous of a good approacher - Model him!

I listen to your podcast religiously and it's helped me gain some real depth in my communications. I'm overcoming by anxiety around attractive women and to meet new freinds. In short, it's a weekly guidepost towards my becoming more alpha. Your commentary is very insightful which is why I'd like to see if you can help me shed some light on this question I have.

A friend of mine and I go to bars and meet people regularly, and have very different styles of approach, I'm laid back where he's goofy. To use a celebrity comparison he reminds me a lot of Will Ferrel. My question is, is his approach working or has he just learned to compensate for a bad approach?

When he opens people up, he comes in with lines such as "Hi, have you been hit on tonight? No? Good, I didn't want to make you feel left out." or "Hi, do you want to buy me a drink?" He'll go up to group after group of people in the bars generally hitting up any available sets. When he does this he's usually wearing these terrible glasses that he got from the air force and a community college shirt and does this mock "I'm smooth" voice.

He's trying to be cool by going the far opposite end into dorkdom that he becomes cool by default. He's stays with the group for about 15 to 20 minutes or so, does very little kino, gets a number and leaves. He's done this enough ,he says, that he can transition out of that super dork persona into a real person quickly.

He's done this so much people are recognizing him at bars when he opens them and say "Didn't you ask us the same question last week?" I think he's pigeon holing himself into a goofball role that never really attracts women even though he gets positive reactions because he's energetic and silly. I also don't think he's connecting by talking to so many people and not remembering who they are or even their names.

Am I wrong in thinking this? Is it just because he and I are polar opposites when it comes to our styles that I think he's digging himself into a hole?

Thanks for your insight, please keep bringing on the advice, it is much appreciated.



Hmm... I'm reading your email, and one word keeps coming to mind:


Admit it, aren't you a little jealous that he's able to just walk up and approach anyone? Because, on some level, this is working for him.

The other reason I think this is because of all the situations you chose to write in about, you're more concerned with his goofiness than improving your own skills. All I hear is your resentment, not your openness to learning what his example can teach you.

The best thing you can do is to start looking at what works for him and start modeling it yourself. Don't worry about him. He doesn't really need your concern.

YOU, on the other hand, can learn a lot from him by modeling his behavior and using what works for you. The fact of the matter is that this guy is an approach MACHINE, and even if he is a dork, he'll get girls based on sheer volume and numbers.

I think he's a STUD.

You should be doing everything he is, only improving and modifying it to fit your authentic personality. Don't like that he forgets names? Great. You can start to remember them.

Forget your criticism of his game. Instead, get on top of your own.

I have a roadmap for you to do this, and you can get it HERE: Alpha Game is REAL Game

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


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