Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Are you a nice guy that falls in love too quickly?

Hi Carlos,

I have a question on behalf of my two best friends and that is: how can they avoid falling in love too quickly? Or perhaps, how can they fall in love in a way that does't eliminate their chances of even getting into a relationship by reverting them to complete AFCs?

I don't know what to tell them as I don't have this problem myself, but they certainly keep nagging ME about it! Somehow I am supposed to know the answer since I happen to be in a great relationship with a great girl and not the least of reasons I got there is because I did not allow impatience to sabotage myself early on!

I really hope that you can help me. Just telling someone to be patient when they're not is not enough. What steps can get them there?

We are talking about high value guys whose lifestyles allow them to constantly meet new girls. Some girls are regularly attracted so they have options that they sometimes use as well (well one almost always and the other almost never:o)

The problem is with those girls that THEY want, they're almost instantly in love with. Of course, you know the symptoms of that. Going nuts when there is no response to an e-mail within 2 hours, constantly rethinking everything one has said and done, constantly thinking on what BEST to do next, constantly worrying they are going to "screw up", etc. all the way down to helplessness in the face of knowing that their behavior is not expedient.

I kid you not, one even postponed a job interview because he couldn't wait to see a girl he hasn't even kissed. It's ridiculous.



I shivered when I read that last sentence. I've known guys that thought this way. Hell, I'm guilty of putting my life on hold many times for a woman.

NEVER a good thing to do in the early stages. Or even later.

The process of correcting this behavior you talk about exists, but it's much too detailed to cover here.

There is a certain group of guys (sometimes referred to as the "sensitive" type), who tend to fall in love easily. They are quick to let their emotions go wild.

It seems like acceptable behavior, until you feel the sting from the women who reject you because you're coming across as too 'needy.'

Men, by nature, do not have the same emotional makeup as women do.

We're not supposed to. It's part of our gender roles.

But, frequently, you'll find men and women that have stronger energy of the opposite sex. Men who are more "yin" (female energy), and women who are more "yang" (male energy.)

What do you do?

Well, the first thing is to realize that from the inner perspective of a 'sensitive' guy, he feels this is the way he "is." He sees it as a core part of his identity, and cannot seem to rein in the emotional horse.

It boils down to SELF-DISCIPLINE.

You must develop the ability to CONTROL your impulses. Too many guys are running around like emotional loose cannons out there, using the lame excuse of "I just couldn't help myself."

Bullshit. You just didn't want to man up and put the hanky away for a little while.

Hey, being an Alpha Man isn't always easy. It requires strength and resolve.


The solution for this problem is to take control of your inner game and confidence. It's a path that ANY man can choose to take if he wants.

But like the joke goes, you have to WANT to change. If you're just a wuss seeking validation, go haunt your therapist. They'll gladly let you cry on their shoulder for $200 an hour as they regurgitate your tortured childhood. (As if that is REALLY what's stopping you right now.)

I created a solution that any man can use. It's the Secrets of the Alpha Man. And you can point your friends to it HERE.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


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