Monday, November 27, 2006

What to do when she breaks up with you and you want her back...


I must say that your ideas have opened my eyes a lot, especially about the fear of rejection part. I have to say that although I'm a pretty handsome guy, I haven't been much successful with women until I've convinced myself to drop a little of my pride and stop fearing rejection. Believe it or not, I have wasted opportunities with extremely hot chicks who came on to me (not me) because of my wussiness (I am a funny guy, but lacked the confidence). It is true that it mostly turns out great if you just do it, not as negative as we think it is. So, thank you Carlos X. for your books.

My question is, I've been dating this girl and I must say I've became attached to her... slept with her for a couple of weeks until problems started to arise from her part not wanting to commit with me (although I never brought up the subject, neither did I say 'I like/love you' which was awesome if you ask me :P) The sex stopped, though the making out sessions continued looking at the fact that she was still attracted to me.

Then we had to travel (each to a different country) and we didn't speak (except for few emails) for 2 months. When I returned, she wasn't acting as she used to with me (I'm sure she talked to someone else, but I doubt others were as attractive to her as me) which really annoyed me.

I know she is still attracted to me, but I just couldn't make the move (wussiness? guess so) cuz I was simply disappointed with her behavior, she was clearly keeping stuff from me and acting a little distant though obviously attracted at times. I felt that she was disrespecting me since she was taking me for granted.

Anyway, recently a little incident happened which I took advantage of and showed her I was disappointed from her and told her that I won't tolerate any disrespect from her. I expected she would see her mistake, but she did not. And we aren't speaking at all now although we see each other everyday at university (I drop a Hi and a little smile if I'm close to her, but she just can't look into my eyes as if I hate her or something though I don't).

I wanted to get away from her so I would find new opportunities yet I don't want to let this relationship end just like this.

Should I make a move, or wait for her? (I'm a stubborn man, I can tolerate a lot) I feel that she's just acting tough, all an act.

Z, Lebanon

Well, congratulations on recognizing your stubbornness.

Now get rid of that trait quickly, and no lame excuses about "that's who I am."

There's an old saying: "Do you want to be right, or be rich?"

That doesn't mean material wealth, mind you... Just that you will find that in order to get what you want from life, being "right" is not always the best strategy.

First of all, let's learn some lessons:

A) When the sex stops, your game is dying. The attraction is dying. This is completely unacceptable.

When you're being an Alpha Man, the sex never stops, because she's always rabid to have you because she never has enough of you.

B) She's NOT still attracted to you. Women who are still attracted to you do not do what she is doing. They don't stop having sex with you and they don't break up with you and then avoid eye contact.

You are projecting your attachment to her on her.

C) You're trying to revive something that has died. Move on.

I'm going to repeat my advice for you guys who are desperate to revive a relationship that's over:

The question of how to get back an ex-girlfriend or win back some woman you messed it up with previously is a bad path to follow for the following reasons:

1) You will never have the credibility you should with someone you've messed it up with. If, by some stroke of incredible technique you actually manage to get her back, she'll always be testing you, pushing your buttons, trying to see if you are for real. In the end, you'll wind up being a whipped pu ssy of a man, reduced to jumping through hoops, constantly trying to curry her favor. Don't do it.

2) You'll spend 10% of the energy on simply finding a NEW woman that you start things off RIGHT with. Why drive yourself crazy, risk stalking her, and otherwise turn yourself into a toad of a man to win back something you never really had? Do it right the first time.

3) By resorting to go back to a woman you once pursued, you're demonstrating a scarcity mindset. You are further reinforcing that you somehow cannot meet any of the other 2.8 Billion Women on this planet and must now recycle. Think bigger. (And this woman you're pursuing will sense your desperation and pull away even faster because of it.)

4) You are probably in the heat of delusion, thinking that this woman is somehow the "one" for you, and there is no other woman like her. The reality is that there are MILLIONS of women like her. Your desperation and insecurity are simply blinding you to options. Go out and meet 20 new women (for real, not half-heartedly) and I'll guarantee you that you won't think the same anymore. She's like a snowflake: unique and special - JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!

You'll further destroy what little self-dignity and confidence you have by continuing to travel down this spiral chute to hell.


Ironically, if you are to ever stand a chance of getting her back, this is the only way to do it. Only by demonstrating the ability to get on with your life will she ever find you attractive again.

But I can help you find the confidence you've lost and get you on the path to a new and better relationship...

I created the Alpha Man program just for this situation. It will rebuild your self-esteem higher than it was before. Better. Stronger. Faster.

Go download the Secrets of the Alpha Man e-book right now...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


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