Thursday, November 30, 2006

How do you ask a woman out that you haven't seen in a while?

Hi Carlos
I have the following question. I was living in a dormitory a couple of years ago, where I knew this girl, I was really interested in. She had a boyfriend back then. I have found out that she is single now living in her own apartment like me. How should I go about this? Is it wrong to write her an SMS?

How exactly am I going to convince her to go out with me, when I can't achieve face to face contact first?


I would tell you to definitely get in contact with her.

But don't call her with your agenda all set like that. You're already thinking about "convincing" her to go out with you.

(Insert Carlos shaking his head here...)

Remember, your posture going in determines your outcome. If you are in it for your own gain (your agenda - to get her to go out with you), she'll sniff you out.

Let me give you a universal translation here:

Selfish, agenda-seeking behavior is something she translates to mean: "He will only be looking out for #1 - himself. He won't see to any of my needs. I won't be satisfied with him."

So, back to your question, how do you go in with the "goal" of getting a date?

An SMS is a WEAK way to communicate with someone until you've already established some connection, attraction, and rapport.

Instead, CALL HER. Obviously if you're considering SMSing her, you must have her number.

Call her up and be fun, witty, charming, and get her attracted to you. (Hint: Use the strategies I outline in my Approach Women NOW program to get her started.)

Once you've got her interest, end the conversation with one of my effective closes for a quick coffee or tea somewhere. Do it soon and do it convenient to HER.

Even if it's under the pretense of getting in touch just to catch up, that's better than nothing.

Personally, I'd be a little hesitant first.

Remember something very important here: SHE might have changed quite a bit. She could be a totally different person. 50 pounds heavier.



You just don't know. You need to screen her for suitability FIRST.

This is a far different posture than "Golly, I gotta get her to like me so she'll see me!"

If you want to learn the inner and outer game tricks of the trade when it comes to attracting women and getting more dates, check out my Approach Women Program. You'll be damn glad you did.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


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