How to Call A Girl

Every day for months, you hope that when you get in the elevator that cute girl who gets off on the fourth floor will be there.

You even find something stupid to do in front of the elevator at times, in the hopes that she’ll appear. You’ve studied up on dating tips and techniques, but you still feel a little insecure when it comes to how to call a girl. It hasn’t always panned out for you in the past.

You figure you’ll deal with that when the time comes. When she gets on the elevator and you have a chance to talk.

Well, today, it did.

And when you got on, luckiest of days, it was just the two of you.

Better yet, she commented on your new bag and you guys struck up a conversation. Then she mentions that she loves reading books and is hoping to check out that brand new independent bookstore that just opened up around the corner.

She looks pointedly at you when she says this. You realize it’s now or never and take a deep breath before you ask for her number. You tell her that you are dying to check it out, as well, so it would be great if you guys did it together. You tell her that you’ll check your schedule and give her a call when you know you have a free night.

Then, the elevator dings. The door opens. She says, “Great.” And leaves.

You lean back against the doors and then jump up and down saying, “YES!” Then you wonder if the small camera in the corner of the elevator actually works and if the security guard thinks you’re a lunatic. But then you don’t care and jump up and down again and shout “Yes!” doing the fist pump.

The elevator door opens and suddenly you are struck by a paralyzing thought, “Oh, crap. Now what?”

Your insecurity about how to call a girl overwhelms you. Don’t despair. Here are a few general rules of thumb that will guide you:

How to Call A Girl Rules:

1. Don’t call her the same day you get her phone number. Wait two days.

2. If she doesn’t pick up, leave a quick message that sounds something like this: “Hi, It’s Brian. We met in the elevator and talked about going to the bookstore. Give me a call.”

Period. It should involve nothing else. No gushing about how great it was to meet her. No talk about how excited you are to get together. Nothing else. Your name. Where you met. What you talked about. Call me. Period.

3. Wait two days. If she hasn’t called back by then, call her one more time. That’s it. No more. That is plenty of chances. If you call her more than that, she will assume you are desperate and lose any interest she might have had. On that second call back, be firmer and less nice. You might say something, such as “My week is filling up. Wanted to check back with you one more time before I make plans to go to the bookstore.”

If you follow these three rules alone, you will be just fine. If she doesn’t return your calls, her loss. You know you’ve played it right.