Friday, December 08, 2006

Field report from a reader, and a question about the X-factor...

Hi Carlos,

I have been in a self-imposed bootcamp, soaking up DD, Alpha-Male and other pundit's stuff for four months now. Professionally, I am a motivational speaker, specific to the recruiting industry (I'm an unabashed Headhunter).

You teach the stuff that I teach, but on a party level. Your need-hierarchical-recognition stuff has enabled me to almost attract on demand, BUT, I hit a strategic wall this weekend.

One of my clients, a Fortune 100, energy company, invited me to their company Christmas retreat, all-expenses paid. I knew that there would be gaggles of easy targets there, but I swore to myself that I would not "shit where I eat" this time. However.. One of the sales girls brought her girlfriend, a 8.7 23 yo blonde with 36dds, and NO affiliations to anyone.

I was seated next to her at the main dinner, and all of the conversation was centered around their company. She was so bored that she just started IM'ng anyone that would respond. I isolated her, Cubed her, and then turned away until the meal came. She would not only not stop talking at me, but she started hitting me on the arm.

The ceasar salad was REALLY garlicky, and after I told her that if she touched me again, it would cost her $30, I turned on her, dilated her pupils, and said "I'm glad that this salad is so raunchy. It really narrows down my kissing options for the night (she was having soup). She grabbed my fork, ate a huge bite and said "now you don't have to worry".

I know, sounds easy right? Wrong. I was sitting with the regional director, his wife, several other client employees, and her best friend was boring a hole into my head with her glare. I focused on the friend, gave her a cognitive dissonance paradox solution to her main sales objections at work, and then she invited EVERYONE to another bar, just up the road, but made a point to tell me that I was cool and she was cool with "it".

35 employees went to this bar and my target was basically smothered by shields from then on, until she got too drunk, and was safely escorted home.

I CAN'T fuck up the account ($3k a day and climbing), and I was a virtual saint throughout the weekend, but I know that there was a way to win that one. I just missed it. I need a Master's spin on this one.

Any suggestions?


You're working at cross-purposes.

What I mean is that you know that this account is important, and you're still letting the little head think for the big head.

Get your priorities straight. If the account is absolutely a priority, let the 23 with the double-Ds go. Ain't worth it, dude.

You had a cockblocker working against you, too.

BOOM. Strike 2.

Sounds like you turned it around, but you didn't manage the crisis in advance. The key here was to BE one of her shields at that bar. Highly attractive women are vulnerable, and

You did a good job with the initiating, using your skills, driving up her interest.

But nothing is for sure until it's all signed, sealed, and delivered.

But let's be honest... we could mentally masturbate about this all week and never come to a real conclusion. Any theory is valid. The reality stands on its own.

Close only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades, as they say.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Even the BEST of the BEST don't get them all. The key is how quickly you can move on.

Can you move on?

How soon?

That's all the sooner you get to the next one that works.

And keep business and pleasure separate. You'll be happier that way.

THAT is how the Alpha Man saves it...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


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