Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Going after the one that got away...

... Quite recently I was reunited with my ex girlfriend and we've been briefly talking every now and then. I find she is extremely boring to talk to on the phone, I get more stimulation talking to a mirror. I'm emailing you wanting to know what types of things to talk about to engage her into conversing. I've only had this problem with her.

I've most definitely used the strategy of the three S's. [self-discipline, self-confidence, and a sense of humour] for example, yesterday she cancelled on me and instead of throwing a temper tantrum I said "oh well, I'll talk to you later". I've tried making jokes. I'm not boasting or anything, but I am well known for my bright sense of humour however, I can't seem to get this girl to laugh too often.

Both of our schedules are very hectic. She calls me every now and then but our talk is usually classified as "small talk". It really is. Our conversations last no more than 6 minutes, if even that much. Carlos, take my word when I tell you that this is the only girl that I have ever had trouble with on an intellectual basis.

Like I said she was my ex girlfiend. Previously, when we were dating which was exactly last year, exactly 12 months ago, I was unfortunate and unaware of your books and programs. My confidence level was below hell, that is exactly how low it was. I had absolutely no game, no intellectual skills, no sense of humour, and absolutely no self-discipline. I think she still holds this against me and when talking to this particular girl I feel as if I did last year.

Your programs have helped me raise my confidence level. Back in Janurary and February my confidence level was out through the roof ...

Well, first, good going on improving your confidence level. Most guys don't really understand just how important inner game really is. You see, if you're using techniques on women without the inner beliefs you need, you're putting makeup on a pig, to put it bluntly.

(Read more about this HERE...)

At first glance, it sounds like you're in the trap of trying to dig yourself out of a hole you should never have fallen into.

There are a lot of women out there that aren't worth your time. Take it from me, not every good looking woman is interesting. (And I'm saying that about as nicely as I can.)

You're falling victim of the old scarcity principle at work here.

1) You dated her before. Now you're trying to play the "I can fix what I messed up before" game.

Don't bother. Just move on. She's not into you, and she's showing it with her level of engagement in your conversations.

2) You are challenged, and that's why you want to make this work so badly.

I go through this syndrome quite a bit with guys. The second they read my e-book or hear my programs, they suddenly realize they could have done something different and not lost that relationship.

The problem is that this is a misleading track of thinking to go down. If you could have done different, you would have. But you didn't have the information then, so you must chalk this up to experience and learning. Take that to the NEXT woman that comes along. You can't un-cook a piece of meat that has gone bad on you.

Hmmm... not my best metaphor, but it will have to do.

Divest yourself of this losing stock. It's like old shares of Enron you just can't unload. You can't make them more valuable by throwing more money into them.

Same with her.

And if you want to learn how to control and command conversation with persuasion, you need to see THIS...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


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