Saturday, December 16, 2006

Should you focus on your shortcomings to build self-confidence?

Hey Carlos, for a year I've been following your podcast and my friend even gave me the Secrets of the Alpha Man for my birthday last year. My interaction with females have gotten better I'm not buying drinks anymore. And I realize I'm enough and I dont have to buy a womans time.

However Im overweight and I think thats the only thing holding me back.. Should i just push this training and women to the side and wait til I have lost weight. And just dedicate a year to fixing that. I damn near wanted to give up last night. Need advice


Great question!

Actually, I think putting any part of your life "on hold" implies that you are giving yourself an excuse to neglect a part of your life. This is based on the mistaken assumption that if we focus ALL our efforts on one area, we'll somehow get much better results.

This isn't quite true.

What happens is that we often burn ourselves out on that one thing rather than maintaining a healthy balance for all areas of our life.

What you stand to lose in "giving up" for a year to accomplish this goal (which you may never meet if you don't qualify, by the way), is that you'll lose your social edge.

Learning how to interact with women is a FULL-TIME, 'round the clock activity. You do it all the time because that's your IDENTITY.

Right now you're reacting from a feeling of discouragement rather than anything else.

Rule Number 1 for Alpha Men: Never make an emotionally motivated decision.

Stay out there, and stay in the mix. There are PLENTY of big guys that have fantastic success with women. It's all a matter of self-image. If YOU are OK with it, she will be, too.

There are a lot of women who love big Teddy Bear guys, and that's the way you should play it. A big guy has to lose the aggro edge and be an affable, friendly guy.

The only thing that's holding you back is your thinking. So take control of it!

Re-read the section on page 75 of the Secrets of the Alpha Man e-book and study guide where I cover overcoming limitations. Pay particular attention to what I say about your "physique."

But also read the next section on Self Confidence.

Get your copy of the Secrets of the Alpha Man program here... You can download the e-book right now.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


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