Wednesday, April 30, 2008

How To Stay Sane In The Crazy World of Love

I got this article from a student who wanted me to share his story with you. It's important to read because of the implications it may hold for your life.

We don't often think about just how damaging certain influences can be until the damage is done.

Thanks to Buddy for his story...


The Authentic Life
By : BuddyLove

I was plagued with bi-polar disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder ( OCD ) for many years . There is no 'one' cause for these two disorders.

In my case however, I am certain that I know at least one of the causes.

By the way, I have never taken any medication or see a doctor/psychiatrist to this day for my previous conditions.

I didn't seek professional help when I was going through those experiences because I didn't know that they were disorders that can be treated ( or at least brought under control )

Through trial and error ( and some information here and there ), I got myself out of it and can say confidently today that 'I' have gain mastery over these conditions.

I did not get these two disorders simultaneously.

I was a VERY committed evangelical/charismatic christian. My zeal, passion and commitment was equal to none.

I am not anti-christian. I am fully aware of its benefits and I respect anyone who is a christian or followers of buddha, judaism or you simply follow the hawk.

But I am also fully aware of certain doctrines ( teachings ) and practices in Christianity that could be harmful to psychological, emotional and finally physical health.

Ok, one of the benefits of christianity is that it provides a certain amount of comfort and group support in troubled times.

But one of the most psychologically and emotionally damaging doctrines of christianity is its system of rewards and punishments. Yes, I am aware of the teachings of grace, mercy and forgiveness.

Nevertheless, to a young and inexperienced mind the system of rewards and punishments are too much too handle. It is sometimes too much for adults as well. Granted, sometimes doctrines in themselves can be misinterpreted by the inexperienced and the unskilled.

In the area of practice, the most potentially damaging 'activity' that a person can engage in is in the so-called ' letting go and flow in the spirit '.

If you are/was in the charismatic/pentecostal tradition you would know what I mean.

In this practice, christians are encouraged to let go of their minds and emotions and allow the holy spirit to 'lead' them. Which quite often means ' speaking in tongues ' and allowing the emotions and imagination to run wild.

This is a recipe for disaster in the long run. As I have discovered.

Herein lies one of the major cause if not the only cause of my previous bipolar/OCD.

Bipolar/OCD that is religiously inspired is that much more potent and deep because we all know that NOTHING in the entire universe can fire up the mind and the emotions as religious convictions can.

For 2 to 3 years of my new and exciting christian life all was good. The church members showed lots of love to me.

Then, reality kicks in. The hype of religious, psychological and emotional mania begins to show some cracks. It wasn't sustainable. It can't be.

I began to have 'sinful thoughts' and committed some 'sins'. It was psychologically and emotionally torturing me as I kept on compulsively asking forgiveness from god.

In due time I fell into depression.

Then I would get 'recharged' back in the church and ' fall from grace again ' .

It was a vicious cycle. I could not maintain the pace. And finally the superstructure of religious activities and zeal that I have built over the few short year crumbles.

I was in deep depression. I was suicidal. The only thing that kept me alive was the fear of ending my life.

Then I began to find myself becoming obsessive and compulsive over the smallest issues that others would find negligible.

I would need to make sure all the electricity appliances in my room and house were properly switched off when I need to go out. I felt the compulsion to check and re-check ( many times over ) that all was in place.

I do that with regards to my car lights, the door to my house, to whether I have parked my car correctly and perfectly in the center of a parking space AND MANY MORE.

It was absolutely CRAZY. I KNEW I was excessive. But there was a COMPULSION in me that goes beyond logic and good sense.

It was like being torn in many directions in me. One direction wants me to be normal like everyone else and have a life. And the compulsive-perfectionist direction would seek to overpower me and stop me in my tracks so that I would attend to the smallest detail so that it would be ' perfect '.

Then the crucial turnaround came when I noticed that non-religious people around me and a far can or is living a happy and a fulfilled life ' without god '. I saw that life does not necessarily need to be TOTALLY defined by a religion.

I was at once curious and hopeful. I searched, inquired and explored. I was as it were plunging into the depths of the foundations of human experience once more but this time with some glimpses of hope to search out the life line that could pull me out of this rut.

I was opened to reading anything on personal development, philosophy, hypnotism or whatever.
I experimented with meditations, physical exercises and other popular techniques in the market.

This was also the period that I stumbled into Carlos Xuma's website and his system of personal development which of course is tailored quite specifically for making yourself more attractive to women.
Having said that, I discovered that certain principles in Carlos' system is applicable for general living whether it be in business, family or neutral social interactions.

One particular principle or idea in his system is to cultivate an Alpha Man Lifestyle. Its a LIFESTYLE. Its not just about learning some techniques to get by on a weekend outing.

When it is a lifestyle then change have to happen at a deeper and more fundamental level.
He teaches the mindset of the Alpha Man. ( ...try out his program )

Through applying some of Carlos' ideas, ideas from other experts and some from myself I have not only see myself gradually coming out of deep depression but have been seeing some successes in terms of attracting women also.

Through a decade of intense and devastating internal turmoil and having come out of it, I have come to recognize and know ( not at an intellectual level ) the foundations of human happiness and fulfillment ( It is not women ).

Day by day and moment by moment my foundations are getting more certain and solid.

When you realize what this foundation is all about, you will also be able to lead a fulfilled life of YOUR choice. ( women's mood swings will look like peanuts then ).

You will NATURALLY be alpha not only in terms of your social life but life in general.
You will not only be attractive but also magnetic because there is a presence about you.

I have begun to see what this presence can do to the people around me. Sometimes I am not even aware of it. Coincidently ( or not ), this is THE element that make authentic politicians, movie stars, industry leaders influential in what they do.

When you have this, it doesn't matter what techniques you choose to use ( or non at all ) as far as dating life is concerned.

Women will sense intuitively a solidity and authenticity about you.

This is the secret of the so-called naturals who attract women naturally.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


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