Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Friends Zone

Carlos, I've read about the 'Friend Zone'.

I'm curious, are there any women still in your life who have consigned you to the friend zone? If so, what sort of things do you do together? Do you ever discuss your real girlfriends with her?

- RJ

Time for some more tough-love... I haven't had my coffee, so I've got a license to tell-it-like-it-is.

I don't let women categorize me this way - as 'just friends' if I've had a romantic interest in them.

Again, if you do the right things at the right time, you should be able to avoid the "friends zone" - (where a woman classifies you as 'just a friend').

Most problems guys have with women relate to the action they did just prior to the problem occurring.

In other words, if a woman puts you in the friends zone, it's probably because of your behavior just prior to her declaration.

The women in my life that are "just friends" are that way because I put them there.

In my opinion, it's a bad bad bad idea to keep a woman in your life that has put you in her "friends only" zone.

1) She has 'dismissed' you, which means you're probably still pining away for her, hoping to get another chance.

2) You're keeping yourself in a scarcity mindset by keeping these women around, and it communicates to your subconscious mind that you're so desperate that you'll settle for this treatment. It lowers your self-respect and confidence.

If I can read between the lines of your questions, it sounds as if you have been put into the friend zone, and now you are orbiting her - a little groupie of this chick, hoping to restart the romance by "doing stuff" together.

My advice? Move on.

Yes, you can keep her as a friend, but only after you extinguish the flame of desire you still have for her. Until then, you don't need her as a friend. If you still have feelings for her, you're jeopardizing your Alpha Confidence just to keep another 'friend you wish you were sleeping with' around.

Make sense?

You can find a friend almost anywhere. But your confidence and self-image you must maintain at all costs.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


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