Tuesday, October 03, 2006

When you hit a slump...

I have a situation, needing for advice. My friend and I was were chilling at Starbucks when I saw this a 2-set of 9 and 7. Although looked very approachable, but they were in the middle of something, like doing lessons or other serious task. Maybe it's just my own fear kicking, but that was the reason why I kept postponing the approach. I thought I would wait at least until they put down the pen and start talking to each other. ( (But it never came. After 15 minutes, they went out and gone. I'm left with a heavy grunts and rage to myself. Why the hell can't I move my lazy legs there and open like usual. I'm very mad and trapped in an extremely low frame. It's like I want to delete all of my knowledge about inner game, pickups etc and just be clueless newbie who don't know anything about the game. ( (I don't like what I'm feeling now. This is quite rare to happen, but I can trace one or two similar events happening in the past where I was hanging with this pathetic frame for days. What should I do to stay away from this emotional breakdown IF one day I have this approach anxiety or miss the approach for any other external reasons?


LH at Boston

Well, this will happen every so often.

Baseball players go through slumps. Read any story about their situation, and you'll find striking similarities between their problems and yours.

Typically, it's
100% mental.

The more you dwell on the fact that you're having problems, the longer the problem persists. The defining factor of breaking the slump is usually just letting go of the lousy thinking that's keeping you there.

Baseball players are notoriously superstitious about this stuff. Even though the reality is that they fabricated this situation in their own heads nearly every single time. Sometimes it will just be a lucky hit or two that puts them back on the path (i.e., changes their thinking), or sometimes they find a way to let go of it. Or they go to a voodoo priestess and drink some bogus potion.

The point is that they let go of their limiting belief and got on with it.

That's what will happen for you, too.

But I wouldn't wait for the lucky break to do this, or you'll just experience the slump over and over without getting to the root cause.

Change your thinking and you'll change your reality.

The key is in how you think about poor performance.

Do you think it's your
identity, or just a result of factors that are not related to your own self-worth?

The reality is that we (as men) tend to project our performance in the world on our own value, instead of handling it not so seriously.

My solution for you is to let go of the need for results for a while so that you can get back to your happy thought. You're taking things too seriously right now, and the harder you are on yourself and your performance, the longer it will take for you to rebound and get back to it.


Tattoo that on your hand so you just go in and have fun with it...

And while you're at it, make sure you are having FUN with it. Because if approaching isn't fun, you won't keep doing it. In fact, you'll manufacture a reason to get out of the singles world as fast as you can, with whoever comes along, all because the 'singles life' is too painful for you.

More people make this mistake than I think you'd believe.

If you want to master this ability - to Approach Women effectively, then you owe it to yourself to have a look at my
Approach Women program.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men


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