Sunday, October 01, 2006

Sometimes you need to break up with women - for your own good!

Carlos,

I am just curious on your assessment of my situation.

I left my last girlfriend because she just did not make me feel that I was loved or even cared about. For example, she never called me out of the blue to ask how I was doing or propose a get together of her own initiative. She did propose a get together after I drew her attention to the fact that I was taking all of the action in the relationship and I called to ask her about making a decision on a job offer. I did things for her and she was not that appreciative. For example, I successfully repaired a non-functioning toilet that had sat inoperable for almost six months in her house, but she did not act very happy about my success.

She only liked me when I was able to take her out on a date that was fun and novel to her. If the date did not work out to her expectations because I became ill then she only complained, but did not propose an alternative. After a broken date and a conversation with her where she proposed no further get togethers, I decided to stop calling her. The anger inside me was building up and I decided that the only way to deal with situation was a complete break off. My psychological analysis of her was that she was a rich daddy's girl who never outgrew being a princess and expected the men in her life to provide her with everything. Never mind that she is a pharmacist making almost $100K per year. Her mother was distant and cold which left her self-esteem weakened and not very capable of reaching out to others.

Yes, I think that men do need some things from their women that include respect and warmth including love and affection and sex. A woman will have to take some initiative and do some things for her man. If a man cannot get these things from his woman, then he should move on. Who wants to be orbiting a black hole for the rest of their lives.


Later,

Jack
______________________


CARLOS:



Sounds like a fair assessment to me. You are the only one qualified to know if a woman is "right" for you or not. And making the decision that one is not is often the most empowering and boosting to your self-esteem.

Remember, it doesn't matter WHY she isn't for you, only that you figure it out QUICK. And don't ever get caught up in the need to "understand" her or "fix" her.

Some people in this world spend their lives spiraling the drain because they just can't let go. The faster you let go, the faster you find a good woman instead of a life-draining, soul-sucker like this one.

(Harsh? Maybe. But being vividly REAL with your nervous system helps you make hard choices. If you think of her as a not-so-nice girl, you're underestimating the damage she can cause in your life, and make it harder to disconnect.)

You just did the hardest part.

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