Sunday, January 21, 2007

What if you fall in love with a Big Woman?

I would like to ask you about whether it is possible to achieve the right sexual feelings for anyone?

I have been in a relationship with a girl called Z for 18 months now.

We met on an internet dating site. As with most men, I saw her picture and thought WOW! cute girl! I contacted her immediately. She replied and we proceded to chat on MSN sending each other music. Everything seemed to be going great!

We then decided to meet. This is where the problem started.

When I met her in person she did not look anything like the girl in her picture. She was heavier, and to be honest I felt no spark at all really.

But because we had gotten on so well on msn, and I am not a shallow person I decided to see what happened. After all...Never judge a book by its cover.

But for the past 18 months even though we have become very close and I have become extremely fond and attached to her, the physical side of the relationship basically turns me off.

This is terrible because like I say I have become so very fond and attached to her that I do not want to part with her. I would do anything to acheive the right feelings sexually for her!

I really cannot see myself ever being able to get over her and the things we do together!

Can a person learn to feel turned on by another person? Even if that person turns you off sexually?

I would do anything to be able to make this relationship work!

Thank you.

Sincerely, S.W.K.
______________________

CARLOS ANSWERS:

This is the problem of having compatibility with no chemistry.

Sometimes it just isn't there, my friend.

And you cannot fake or
CREATE chemistry by willpower. Trust me. I've been down that road before.

What happens is that you'll maintain some really
swell feelings for her, and you might even sleep with her to try to make it work, but it won't work very well for you.

Eventually, you start to experience the quality of your friendship and connection suffer because you won't initiate sex, and she'll feel neglected.

Eventually, you will cheat on her. Or just break up.

Human beings have this built-in equalization mechanism. If you are with someone you don't feel attraction for, you'll start to neglect them and even feel superior to them. You won't want to, but that's human nature.

Remember my
Principle of Truth from the Dating Black Book.

So what are you to do?

Keep her as a friend. You can still do things with her. Just be very up-front about your feelings and the connection you have.

Hey, she might not be into you sexually, dude. You never know.

The point is to be very gentle. If you handle it right, you don't have to lose her as a good and special friend.

But let's face reality - when you have friendships between men and women, it will be very difficult to make things
JUST friends. There's almost always sexual tension.

And you're probably feeling a bit of the old "scarcity" syndrome, too.

This can push you into a relationship of convenience, and you're tempted to "settle."

If you want to learn the strategies that will get you the woman you can feel sexual attraction
AND emotional attraction ...

Learn the Secrets of the Alpha Man by clicking here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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