Thursday, July 07, 2005

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:


Seduce Women the Way They WANT you to!
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QUESTION:

Thanks so much for setting me on the right path! Your e-books and advanced audio coaching are invaluable!

I have been in a slump lately with the ladies and I was wondering if you could give me some tips on getting a woman to call you back after just meeting them as cold contacts (i.e. in a coffee shop, the gym, etc).

I've been getting phone numbers by approaching women in these settings (using cocky and funny) for the last couple of months and have had some success but I want more.

Many of the women I meet have no problem handing out their phone numbers (and some would like me to write down mine too?) but when It comes down to getting in contact with them I'm having trouble. I usually wait 2 to 3 days to call and leave a message (most of the time they don't answer).

For example, "Hey Sara, this is B, I met you at star bucks on Saturday, Hope you had a good weekend, give me a call when you have a chance (insert # here) thanks Sara, bye!"

Out of 10 phone numbers I usually get 3-4 to call me back. Is this normal?
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CARLOS:

Hey, good job getting the ladies in the cold market. That's actually pretty awesome that you've got the stones to go and approach women in this environment. I'm glad my e-books have given you that confidence.

Here's something you guys need to realize about the phone -

It's an evil implement of the Devil!

That's right. The telephone is often one of the most abused and misused of technological marvels to meet girls and set dates.

Here's the other thing you have to realize about the phone - It's ONLY use with a woman is to SPEAK with a woman and GET THE DATE SET.

Notice that I did not say, speak to voicemail. Or play phone tag.

I said, speak TO THE WOMAN.

A short time back I covered this principle pretty completely in a Session of the Advanced Audio, which it sounds like you probably missed.

One of the facts of life that guys usually don't really come to grips with is that women rarely - if ever - answer their phones. I think women have conditioned themselves to just ignore it and come back to it when they feel like they need something interesting to do.

And in the meantime, thousands of guys are still calling and hoping and calling and hoping...

So recognize that it's going to be rare to catch a woman by phone the first time you call. You'll probably have to try her several times before she'll answer. Most of the time she'll be fumbling in her purse to find her mobile, and when she does finally yank it out there's about 1 more ring left for her to figure out who this strange number is on the display before you roll to her voicemail.

Gloomy, huh?

I will say, though, that if you're leaving a message and getting 3-4 to call you back out of every 10 numbers, you're actually doing well.

Most women will never call you unless you sparked their interest and curiosity enough to provoke the call, so you must be having high impact on those first encounters.

And THAT is actually the most important thing. High-impact encounters are the goal, because it leaves a lasting emotional impression on her that will keep you in her thoughts.

I'm serious that 3 or 4 out of ten is pretty decent. So if you're happy with that return. Keep doing what you've been doing. But it sounds like you want to improve the ratio a little more.

In order to achieve that, you'll have to take a wholly different approach.

You'll need to have to risk having much fewer return calls to learn how to improve your posture.

First of all, never leave a message the first time you call. All that usually does is programs your mind for obsession: "I wonder why she hasn't called? What's going on? Didn't she like me?"

And the Downward Spiral starts to pull you down. You lose confidence based on imagined reasons instead of the reality. (And it gets harder and harder to meet girls because your attitude starts to slip.)

The reality?

Here's a few possibilities:

- She wanted to call back but got distracted
- She accidentally deleted your message
- She's too shy to call guys
- She barely remembers you, but doesn't have the balls enough to call you back
- She just read "The Rules" for women and decided she's going to make you call her back
- She's PMSing and needs a little time
- She's dumping her loser boyfriend while she waits for your call
- She's reading "The Da Vinci Code" for the seven hundredth time
- WHATEVER...

There's about a BILLION reasons why a woman won't call that have NOTHING to do with you. So those other 6 or 7 out of 10 that aren't calling are probably still good candidates if you keep on them. If you want to get a girlfriend, you gotta run the numbers.

Don't ask a woman to call you back when you leave her a message. Just say that you called, and maybe you'll call her back. Let HER twist in the wind for a few hours until you try again.

PLUS - If you ask a woman to call you, or thank her, or phrase it in such a way that she MIGHT interpret your message to say, "Please, oh, please return my call, I'll be so grateful..."

... well, she WILL interpret it that way. You'll sound supplicating and wimpy.

Instead, phrase it with more command in your voice.

"Hey, it's Carlos. I wanted to talk to the actual woman I met the other day, so I might try you back later on..."

That one is more authoritative. That says, "I'm busy, I'm IN DEMAND, and you're lucky to have gotten this call" without SAYING it. It says, "I'm starting to wonder if you are REAL, or just a voicemail." It says, "I'm not entirely sure if you were being honest when you gave me this number."

Not in a mean, nasty, irritable way, but in a calm, assured manner.

All with the tone of your voice.

Also remember that you'll never succeed 100% of the time with women. There's always an X-factor that you can never predict, and that will always be there. While you can aspire to 99.999%, it's not really all that realistic. It's just a good stretch goal.

Anyone that tells you that you can have success with women anywhere at anytime is blowing smoke up your you-know-what.

Instead, make sure you're consistent with your application of the strategies from my e-books. Those will net you the most outstanding results.

Better quality AND quantity.

So don't consider that a slump, brother.

Remember that a batting average of .333 is considered pretty darn good in the major leagues. That's about 1 hits out of 3 for you math-challenged.

And that's about what you're batting right now with your call backs.

You should look at the bottom line - The RESULTS you get versus what you want (and is reasonable to expect.)

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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