All posts by Carlos Xuma

Dating Advice for Men

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QUESTION FROM A READER:

I’ll ask you a question about Alpha man behavior, especially since you are a martial arts
instructor. I’ve joined a martial arts school recently and have taken about 5 classes so far.

If a guy that is a real hot head gets in your face, insults you, and raises his voice at you, should
you automatically fight him? Should you match his tone of voice, and get pissed yourself, throwing
insults back at him, and pushing him in the chest, which is the almost universal form of male
aggression leading to a fight? Or try to deescalate the situation verbally?

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That is definitely showing disrespect, and I know that disrespect is totally unacceptable. I need a
better idea of when to entertain the idea of fighting, and when not to. I’m thinking that if I try to
verbally talk him down, he may think I am a wimp and afraid of him, and totally lose respect for me.

I know that if I got in some guys’ face, he’d prolly want to kick my ass. I also know that fighting
has repurcussions, but I want to know how to get and keep respect, even when a dude tries me like
this.

______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

The first thing your Sensei should teach you is that non-violence is the best measure.
Remember the words from Kung-Fu, that TV show from the seventies:

“Avoid rather than check. Check rather than hurt. Hurt rather than maim. Maim rather than kill. Kill
rather than be killed. For all life is precious, nor can any be replaced…”

The only time you fight is when A) you have no choice, and B) You know he’s going to throw a punch.
Then you strike FIRST.

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The only way you get experienced at B is by feeling out people’s energy, and it’s not something that
most can do. They’re leading very insulated lives (insulated emotionally) and prefer the blind
aggression to the real deal.

Remember that Martial Artists tend to be driven by ego more than ability. They put themselves in
harm’s way far too often because they just got their “blue” belt or some crap like that, and they
endanger themselves and everyone around them.

The best approach is learning how to verbally disarm someone. I teach my students this, and my
Sensei taught me this as well. You have to learn how to talk someone down out of their rage inspired
moment of assault.

Why?

Because if that jackass has a shim or a knife on him, or even a gun, you know that no karate in the
world can stop a bullet. You might be able to disarm them of a weapon, but don’t count on getting
away without bloodshed.

That being said, you do not escalate verbal confrontation. You have to tame your anger and learn how
to VERBALLY SPAR. You have to learn how to manipulate conversation and defuse these guys.

You learn how to defend yourself physically… so it stands to reason that you better learn how to
defend yourself verbally, too.

The way that you show that disrespect is unacceptable is by not accepting it, but not by throwing
punches or returning in-kind.

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You simply say something like, “Now why would you say something like that? I thing you’re a pretty
cool guy. I don’t understand why you want to disrespect me like that when we’re having a perfectly
fun conversation here. Why is that?”

Watch how Richard Dreyfuss does this in “Stakeout.” He talks down a drunk angry guy with just a few
confidently placed actions and words.

__________________________________
QUESTION FROM A READER: SORT OF…

Here’s the first email from this guy:

“I disagree with your definition of a Alpha Male. The term represents the ancient archetype of the
leader of small tribes and family’s from our caveman days.

It isn’t some nice guy running around in modern society. And for you to say he lacks aggression???
WTF Carlos. That is totally erroneous. Look at the history of the alpha male as being the most
aggressive of males. That is why nature selected him to lead and dominate.”

29sld1na8

And here’s his second email:

“what your portraying is a Real Man not a Alpha male. You should rechange your email to reflect
this. Your list of criteria has nothing to do with the real archetype of the alpha male.

Who was agrgessive, clever, cunning, vicious and most of the things you said a alpha male was not.

Player_Supreme”
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

I get this a lot.

There are a lot of guys who love to challenge my expertise and knowledge. Apparently, in their
little village, they’re the experts on this sort of thing.

The interesting thing is that if someone knows so much about a topic, why do they spend so much
effort to poke holes in someone else’s work?

Answer: EGO

Too much insecurity and time on his hands.

But I want to address what he talks about because there is some confusion here.

First of all I’m redefining the Alpha Man. (DUH. That’s why I capitalized it. And the term is Alpha
MALE when referred to in scientific terms.)

The Alpha Man is aggressive, but not overtly and not in a warlike, animal fashion.

You see I’m not trying to elicit men to revert to primal behavior here.

I’m trying to get you guys laid. Not in a gang war.

BIG DIFFERENCE.

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Some guys just don’t get that while we are MEN deep inside, we have EVOLVED.

That means that downright aggression is going to be viewed as BAD.

This doesn’t mean that I’m not willing to fight for what I believe in. In fact, I think that most
guys out there would rather avoid a confrontation. But you have to learn how to use that anger and
aggression to FUEL your forward progress.

Am I making sense here?

Good.

Let’s move on.

Now, he does have a point that the ARCHETYPE has these traits. Again, I’m not going to waste my time
(and yours) by beating this example to death. Even though we need to emulate some of these caveman
behaviors, we don’t need to actually get big foreheads and drag our knuckles, now do we?

(If you’re interested in what archetypes are, I suggest you study a little Carl Jung. He studied
that there are symbols and examples in our lives that are standard, no matter what culture you are
from. It’s interesting stuff. Might even make great conversation on a date.)

Now as for other Alpha traits, I never said that Alpha Men (again, not “Male” – I’m referring to a
MODERN Alpha) were not clever or cunning. In fact, in my e-book I explain this very thoroughly. The
one trait a modern Alpha Man MUST have is the ability to out-THINK his enemies. Muscle is no longer
the rule of the day.

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In fact, it never was.

If brute force were all we needed to assure our survival, we’d never have gotten any smarter. It
just so happens that intellect and wiles are much more important than physical power.

The true Alpha is able to manipulate social situations with ease.

That’s why more women are Alpha than we might give them credit for.

So what you have here is a misunderstanding, probably.

This guy thought I was referring to the ideal Alpha Male, not my own modern Alpha Man. He probably
was busy with this encyclopedia looking up all this great new terminology.

What he should have been doing was reading MY book… ūüôā

If you want more Q&A, I suggest you go check out my Blog right now. I’ve got a ton of new
information there for you, and it’s updated pretty much every day.

But before you go, let me ask you something…

Are you looking to develop a few of the skills that you need to attract women? Not a ton of tricks,
or magic hypnosis phrases, just a few core skills. I’ve got ’em.

They’re not complicated, either.

I cover this and many other topics in my e-books and audio. If you’d like to learn more about how
the REAL players get the women, you can download the information right away.

If you want to get that kind of understanding and control over your love life, you need to read my
e-book. And you can get the benefits of my best e-books, RISK FREE for the next 90 days.

Get my books, the audio, read them and hear me explain the strategies, and then put it to work for
you right away.

I’ll be back with more advice soon …

Send this link to someone who can use the information. Help spread the word!

Cocky and Funny isn’t everything…

Just found out about this entry from BG, reprinted here.

Essentially, guys, keep in mind that C&F (Cocky and Funny) is not the be-all end-all of stimulating
female attraction. You know that I preach a balance of teasing and learning how to calibrate to
women.

So be careful about following anything too closely to the word. It’s the SPIRIT of the words.

the_most_beautiful_women_according_98

Read this:

BG writes:

Watch out for the Double Your Dating eBook guys. There’s some advice in there that’s
simply false, incorrect, incomplete or confusing.

For instance:

David DeAngelo says to not touch a girl when you meet her. Act distant. This is hard to get for
wussies!! A 10 knows you want her. Be a man, show her that you’re not afraid to touch her.

David DeAngelo says to stay cocky and funny all the time (throughout the first ten dates or so).
What the fuck!? “Never drop that social mask, because she’ll see the wussy”. For AFC’s this might be
true, but not being C&F doesn’t equal being a wussy.

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Just be relaxed, try to make a connection, create a comfortable situation where the two of you learn to trust each other. That’s rapport!

Staying on C&F is just lame and can come across as: insecure, ‘too cool for her’
(over-qualification), or coming across as a jerk who’s actually not interested in her. C&F can blow
you out.

There’s one post where I am in a club.. And I’m looking for some girl, because I’m leaving and I
have to ask for her number. So I walk around, spot her on the dance floor, but I’m too afraid to go
up to her, because she had already spotted me.

I actually thought that going right up to her would come across as NEEDY and desperate! Haha. And that’s what I learnt from DYD.. So it actually turned me into a bigger wuss on some areas.

Road to becoming an Alpha Man

Guys, this is a story that EVERYONE should read. Not just because this guy has found a solid path to
Alpha through the Secrets of the Alpha Man course, but because of what he talks about with today’s
world.

Women ARE getting more dominant and aggressive. They’re starting to take on the male role, and who
could blame them with most guys failing to fill it. Meanwhile, women walk around with this
gold-plated-pussy syndrome that just irks the crap out of me. They honestly believe, guys, that they
are entitled to special treatment because most guys will gladly hand over their balls just to get a
slice of action.

Every letter I get from you guys really affirms that we have to get the Alpha message out there to
as many guys as possible. I’m already brainstorming some incredible topics for the audio coaching
and the podcasts… Stay tuned…

Read his letter, and tell me if you don’t find this story all too typical, unfortunately….

Hi Carlos,

thanks for your letter and free ebook. I found the information quite insightful and informative. I
found your take on how men are becoming more feminine and women more masculine right on the money.
there is been a definite shift in the roles men and women are playing in today’s society. I myself
have noticed whithin the past few years I’ve taken a more feminine approach to life. Unfortunately,
without all the advantageous benefits women consistently experience.

52_pam_1598559a

There is a very entertaining movie that touches on the shift you mentioned called “Roger Dodger”
it’s about an almost cynical “alpha male” trying to teach his younger nephew how to score with women.
There are moments in his dialogue where he foresee the eventual decline of the male species based on
the current road we’re heading.

I’ve looked around lately when I go out and have noticed this to be true.. Women today are so cocky
and arrogant almost as if there sole mission is to tease men. I’m considered a very good looking man
, athletic shape, successful quick witted and even women I would never consider dating act as if I’m
not good enough for them. Up until I read your information I wondered what exactly happened out
there. I couldn’t put my finger on it.

About 5 years ago I was seriously involved with an extremely beautiful, intelligent (physics major)
exotic dancer, she looked like Pamela Anderson although curvier in the hips, firmer and a smaller
waist plus she had these unbelievable real dd breasts and big pouty Angelina Jolie type lips.. hot
women would stare just as long as men.. a reflection of the true physical phenomenon.. talk about an
ego challenge. I handled it perfectly for about 3 years, constant roll on the floor mutual laughter,
best friends, an engagement, intelligent life conversations, extremely satisfying multiple orgasmic
sex-she was a squirter.

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but the decline occur when our small arguments escalated by the way we handled confrontation. she
handled confrontation by avoidance. It chipped away at me as I found that as she ran I passionately
chased wondering why she was running. I found myself in the feminine role questioning her feelings
and demanding some emotional availability.. it crept up on me and before I knew it I was a total
wimp. I’m surprised I didn’t have a period. After I awoke from the nightmare she was history and I
had lost everything including my home and business(bad investments, shift in my industry)

The experience has left an undeniable scar. Now as I rebuild myself (I liken it to superman going
back to his arctic fortress to luckily find one last crystal to rebuild himself with) I find myself
not knowing where I fit in. That is until I’ve read your information, Just the other day after
reading your seduction book/offer I went out that night and attracted 5 women’s attention. They
we’re certainly aware of me. Lately I have felt like the guy is just there, that night I felt like the
MAN out to have a good time.

I haven’t “re”mastered your techniques yet but I will take my power back thanks to your insight and
selfless guidance.

Thanks Again

M – Newport Beach

Houston Press: Keeping Score

The Houston Press has an interesting article on pickup… Check it out:

Keeping Score
Get a girl in record time, then get another one
By Craig Malisow

Well, some people try to pick up girls / And get called asshole / This never happened to Pablo
Picasso ‚ÄĒ Jonathan Richman, ‚ÄúPablo Picasso‚ÄĚ

We’re upstairs at the Red Door when Bashev sees his target: four girls in a flurry of tight pants
and spaghetti straps. They’re hot babes. HBs.

It’s a warm Friday night, and the Midtown rooftop is packed with well-dressed, attractive
twentysomethings. Beautiful people in the know go to the Red Door, and the owners ward off everyone
else by not even having a sign.

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Before I know it, Bashev’s in the girls’ midst, and I think, What is he doing? A solo sortie like
that takes guts. But Bashev’s been studying fast-seduction for three years. He told me earlier he
doesn’t usually try to pick up girls (“to sarge”) with wingmen, but I offer my services anyway. If
we run into a pairing that includes an ugly girl (UG), I may have to — in fast-seduction lingo —
jump on the grenade.

Bashev decided earlier to use one of his favorite stories. If a girl asks what the 24-year-old does,
he’s not going to say he’s an engineering grad student at Rice. He’s studied hypertechnical concepts
at Amherst and the University of Massachusetts, but big freakin’ deal: Women don’t like the
“ultra-rational” mind, he says. They like the unpredictable.

He spends most of his time in class, bogged down in technical studies. He once worked on a project
titled “Automated Synthesis of Numerical Programs for Control, Simulation and Animation of Virtual
Robots.” Women don’t want that dude, he says. They want mystery, romance, fun.

Bashev once took a girl he liked to his computer lab at school, where he deconstructs algorithms and
multivariable calculus. He wooed her for a semester with linear algebra and software design
methodology. Unbelievably, she split.

So that’s why he’ll get women to ask what he does, whereupon he’ll point to his shoes and casually
say, “I’m a foot model.” Tonight, I’m to be his colleague, a model of the posterior. He doesn’t
expect them to really believe it; it’s just supposed to distinguish us from the endless succession
of cheeseballs who drop the same tired lines.

Bashev is tall and lean, with short light brown hair and a friendly Bulgarian accent. So he should
have an edge, but by the time I work up the nerve to actually say something like “Yes, you heard
correctly; I’m an ass model,” a girl with long black hair has already shot him down. He didn’t even
get to his foot-model spiel. So he just opens with one of her friends. He asks if she thinks
American reality shows are really real.

The first girl looks at me, rolls her eyes and says she doesn’t care in the first place. I just
stand there and do a really good impression of a dude who has nothing to say.

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Bashev’s not a bad-looking guy, but he’s not getting anywhere. In the parlance of fast-seduction,
these girls have just demonstrated the bitch shield. It’s kind of like an electrified razor-wire
force field they activate to fend off idiots at places like this. It doesn’t mean the girl’s a
bitch. It means she’s acting like one to protect herself from the silk-shirted vultures who want to
talk about their Beemers and Bulovas.

A genuine pickup artist (PUA) can penetrate the bitch shield through sheer wit and charm. But
Bashev’s not an official PUA, and pretty soon we’re treated like we’re invisible. The girls
eventually form their own continent and drift away to a table. Bashev smiles, shrugs it off. He’s
just getting warmed up. There’s plenty more sarging to take care of. I head to the bar while the
lazy lion of the Serengeti surveys the scene.


I like the intro line about “reality shows being real.” That’s very use-able.

The rest of this is available at their site…

Raise Your Standards

QUESTION FROM A READER:

I’ve been teasing, doing the dance, and being a little naughty. I’m also mysterious. I use everything you’ve written
about. The thing is that I’m a very good looking guy and my humor may spice things up for the girl, but it’s getting
boring for me.

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I’m naturally funny, charismatic, and charming. I can’t seem to communicate to a girl without being turned off by how¬†excited they are and the uninteresting conversations I have out of feeling bad for their stupidity that comes out from¬†their self-doubt and excitement. They start moving real fast and fidgeting around me, yet they want to keep talking to¬†me and finding out about me.

I feel like my looks put girls in awe, because they just stare at me like hawks. I’ve been getting secret admirer
emails and phone calls, saying “you seem to be a very nice person and I wish I could get to know you better.” Maybe
that’ll give you a good picture. What do I do? Please reply, as this is probably my most important email. I feel kind of¬†stuck.

Thanks man,

K

“”””””””””””””””
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Huh.

Wow.

So you have women that are attracted to you… You’re gaming them just fine…

And now you’re bored…

While every guy out there lights a candle and prays for you, I’m going to tell you that maybe it’s time to – RAISE YOUR STANDARDS!

You’re obviously working on women that do not challenge you. I’ve found that this is often a problem for guys that get
this stuff down after one of my ebooks or the Alpha Man course, and then they get that empty feeling inside.

The cry out to the heavens “Is this all there is? Is there no more???”

What an existential crisis they must be going through.

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Here’s a prescription for you, and I think it will help you get through your crisis of faith here:

1) Realize that most women aren’t very challenging once you’ve got your shit together. You see through their canned acts¬†and tests and it’s easier to start being the man you always suspected you were. No need to supplicate or worship them.¬†Just be the Alpha and take the lead.

2) Move up to a higher class woman. Find a rich chick with DD implants and lots of disposable income, as well as a yacht and a Lear jet. Call her your sugar mama. Then send me a monthly support check.

3) Get plastic surgery and make yourself real plain looking so you can feel that electric thrill of attracting women
again with a challenge to overcome. Seriously, stop crying to me that you get all the women you want because you won the¬†genetic lottery and learned how to attract women from my books. (You aren’t 100% “natural.” ūüôā Don’t identify with your¬†looks, because one day they won’t do you anything and you’ll have to stand on quality of character and ability. That’s¬†where you can really shine, if you want.

5) Start deciding what it is you want out of life.

That last one – #5 – I am dead serious about.

Inevitably when guys set their sights on winning women over, and then they learn how the game goes, and they get some easy success. They start to sabotage themselves.

Why?

Because they thought this was THE ultimate goal. To attract women and get laid. And when that gets easy, they start to lose faith and motivation.

You see women inspire men to dare to accomplish great things.

And when they realize it means we don’t worship them anymore, they try to distract us from finishing them.

I’m kidding… sorta.

What you have to do is find a noble goal that will challenge you, besides women.

If you set that as your primary achievement in life, you’ll always be disappointed.

Trust me.

Love them, lead them, make them happy they’ve got you, but don’t make them your be-all end-all.

Even women don’t want that.

Stay Alpha,
– Carlos Xuma

Alpha Man Behavior

QUESTION FROM A READER:

I’ll ask you a question about Alpha man behavior, especially since you are a martial arts instructor. I’ve joined a
martial arts school recently and have taken about 5 classes so far.

If a guy that is a real hot head gets in your face, insults you, and raises his voice at you, should you automatically fight him? Should you match his tone of voice, and get pissed yourself, throwing insults back at him, and pushing him in the chest, which is the almost universal form of male aggression leading to a fight? Or try to deescalate the situation verbally?

images

That is definitely showing disrespect, and I know that disrespect is totally unacceptable. I need a¬†better idea of when to entertain the idea of fighting, and when not to. I’m thinking tha if I try to verbally talk him¬†down, he may think I am a wimp¬†and afraid of him, and totally lose respect for me. I know that if I got in some guys’ face, he’d prolly want to kick my¬†ass. I also know that fighting¬†has repurcussion, but I want to know how to get and keep respect, even when a dude tries me like this.

________________________

CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

The first thing your sensei should teach you is that non-violence is the best measure. Remember the words from Kung-Fu, that TV show from the seventies:

“Avoid rather than check. Check rather than hurt. Hurt rather than maim. Maim rather than kill. Kill rather than be
killed. For all life is precious, nor can any be replaced…”

The only time you fight is when A) you have no choice, and B) You know he’s going to throw a punch. Then you strike¬†FIRST.

The only way you get experienced at B is by feeling out people’s energy, and it’s not something that most can do.
They’re leading very insulated lives (insulated emotionally) and prefer the blind aggression to the real deal.

hot-and-sexy-women-hd-wallpapers-26

Remember that Martial Artists tend to be driven by ego more than ability. They put themselves in harm’s way far too
often because they just got their “blue” belt or some crap like that, and they endanger themselves and everyone around
them.

The best approach is learning how to verbally disarm someone. I teach my students this, and my Sensei taught me this as well. You have to learn how to talk someone down out of their rage inspired moment of assault.

Why?

Because if that jackass has a shim or a knife on him, or even a gun, you know that no karate in the world can stop a
bullet. You might be able to disarm them of a weapon, but don’t count on getting away without bloodshed.

That being said, you do not escalate verbal confrontation. You have to tame your anger and learn how to VERBALLY SPAR. You have to learn how to manipulate conversation and defuse these guys.

You learn how to defend yourself physically… so it stands to reason that you better learn how to defend yourself
verbally, too.

The way that you show that disrespect is unacceptable is by not accepting it, but not by throwing punches or returning in-kind.

You simply say something like, “Now why would you say something like that? I thing you’re a pretty cool guy. I don’t
understand why you want to disrespect me like that when we’re having a perfectly fun conversation here. Why is that?”

Watch how Richard Dreyfuss does this in “Stakeout.” He talks down a drunk angry guy with just a few confidently placed¬†actions and words.

How To Approach A Woman in Foreign Land

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Hi Carlos,

I live in Rome, Italy. What happens here is that girls are really difficult as a result of the fact that all guy are really aggressive, they literally don’t let them breath. Once a guy knows a girl here he literally jumps over her – tries to kiss her aggressively right away, hugs her etc. As a result girls are really distrustful and as soon as you try to tell a girl anything she runs away, expecting that the next thing you will do is “grab” her and not let her breath.¬†

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I’m a foreigner here so I’m not like this. How can I approach in such an “anomalous” situation, how can I communicate to a girl that I just wanna know her, that I will not jump over her like everybody else does?¬†

I’ll appreciate any advice

S.G., Rome

***********

CARLOS XUMA:

Great question.

Usually this isn’t as much of an issue overseas because the women are women, the men are men, and everyone is comfortable in their roles.

Here in the US, we’ve got all that baggage.¬†Women trying to be men. (The “have it all” syndrome, where they end up with nothing they want.)¬†Men trying to be women. (The “listen to women and believe they really want us to be sensitive” syndrome.)

Women are always open to men who can learn how to communicate with them the way they respond to.¬†Now you’ve got a couple alternatives. ¬†You can try to overcome their thick hides. (Not recommended, way too much effort.)

Or you can slip in under their radar.

41tvxcp5kVL._sexy-woman-lajupe_

Here’s what I’d do:

Get a bunch of cards made up with a single Italian phrase on it. “Voiglo conoscere te meglio…” My Italian is a little rusty, but I was trying to say: “I want to know you better…”

Then say, “Scusi, chiamo e?” ¬†Or, “What’s your name?”¬†Dont’ do it with a slick Mediterranean attitude. Just look confident but reserved.

Tell her you didn’t want to interrupt her day, but you suspected that you might be able to help her find some good conversation. ¬†You’ll have to find a demeanor that’s less intrusive but still holds an air of confidence.

You might even find a way of asking a fairly non-intrusive question, like what the time is or where a good gelatoria is. From there just keep talking. Once you assume the right balance of interest and controlled distance, you’ll do fine.

Don’t tell me that ALL the women act this way, either. You just have to slip into another mode. They will pick up on your energy and read it, so you just have to find a more laid-back approach.

I’ve been in Roma, and the women aren’t THAT scared… ūüôā

 

Stay Alpha,

Carlos Xuma

Online Dating from Hell

So I was looking around this morning online and I found this guy’s personal ad. I’ve removed any incriminating evidence, but it serves to show you how NOT to create a personal ad. Take a look at this:

Mr. Nice Guy

Hello there. I am looking for someone who has been through some stuff and has learned to appreciate life through experience. I am available for a number of things. Friendship is great. I do look forward to having a partner in my life. Not into drama or games AT ALL. I am very active. I love the outdoors, working out, yoga and nature. Kids are great too. Bye for now.

Woman-Sexy-Black-High-Heeled-Shoes-Celebrity-1050x1680

I’m a XX year old white man from xxxx. I consider my appearance to be very good looking. I am 5’10” tall with a cut build. I have brown hair, sky blue eyes and a fair complexion.

Essays

My ideal match:

mY IDEAL MATCH IS SOMEONE WHO HAS ENOUGH IN COMMON SO WE FEEL LIKE WE ARE SPEAKING A LANGUAGE WE CAN BOTH UNDERSTAND. LAUGHTER IS A BIG PLUS. ATTRACTION IS DEFINiTELY IMPORTANT(ON SEVERAL LEVELS.

The ideal setting for a first date:

i WOULD LIKE TO GO FOR A HIKE IF THAT FEELS GOOD TO BOTH OF US OR MAYBE GO FOR A CUP OF TEA OR COFFEE. i THINK LOADING IT WITH ROMANCE OR EXPECTATIONS IS TOO MUCH ON THE FIRST DATE. i WOULD LIKE TO BE COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO REALLY SHARE SOME PIECES OF WHO WE ARE.

Work:

mY WORK IS GOOD ENOUGH. i HAVE A VERY FRUITFUL BUSINESS. HOWEVER, I AM TRAINING IN SOME OTHER FIELDS THAT ARE CLOSER TO WHAT I WANT TO DO IN MY LIFE. I AM INTERESTED IN BODY,MIND SPIRIT WORK. NOT JUST NEW AGE HEALING. ASK IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS.

What I like to do when I’m not at work:

i EXERCISE. I AM TRAINING TO BE A YOGA TEACHER. I LOVE THE OUTDOORS AND IT’S MANY VARIATIONS. I AM A DAD. I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BOY. I HAVE BEEN A SINGLE DAD FOR A LONG TIME.

Where I see myself two to five years from now:

I PLAN TO BE DOING WORK THAT MAKES ME SMILE MORE DAYS THAN NOT. I HOPE THAT I HAVE A PARTNER IN MY LIFE. FAMILY IS IMPORTANT TO ME. CONTINUING TO SLOW DOWN IS IMPORTANT TO ME.

If I could change one thing about myself:

PAY BILLS BEFORE THEY ARE IN PILES.

Final thoughts:

i DO NOT HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO PUT MY PICTURE ON HERE (I DON’T KNOW IF I WOULD ANYWAY} SO IF YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT I LOOK LIKE LET ME KNOW.

————-

CARLOS XUMA:

Now, in case you haven’t noticed, this ad screams “nice sensitive guy” from a mile away. In no way does he involve the reader in the passion of his life, or the excitement. I don’t care if he likes Yoga or Monster Trucks. He’s got to really stop saying “I” this and “I” that, and address what SHE is interested in.

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This is the cardinal sin in 90% of all guy’s personal ads online. They look like a third grade essay.

And, if you didn’t know it, wouldn’t you have guessed this to be a WOMAN’s profile? Well, it’s not. It’s a man’s.

So learn from this and start injecting some fierce emotional excitement in your personals.

Hell, start injecting it in your LIFE. And every time you meet a woman. THAT is what will move her. Not a lame profile.

How to get a girlfriend…

Okay, guys… it’s time to really crack the whip on this…

You need to get over and start reading my Blog. It’s important, because you’re missing out on a lot of information if you don’t.

Did you know about our new Podcast? Regular weekly advice on AUDIO that you can download now?

Go here RIGHT NOW

Add it to your newsfeed reader, too, and you’ll see the updates as I post them. There are a ton of free newsfeed readers out there, so grab one.

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QUESTION ABOUT ONLINE AD

Hey Carlos,

Your Blog is one of the most greatest ideas that you came up with other than your “Women Understanding Wisdom” (WUW another one for you), my question is how do I recreate my online profile? And how do I change it from Boring Needy Wuss to Deserving Alpha Man?

Here’s my profile:

About Me: “I’m very intelligent, down to earth, very liberal, and adventurous. I am very strong physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I always stand up for what I believe in and fight for what’s right. Also I am very trusting and loyal and respectful. Another great trait about me is I’m very bold and not afraid to be who I am. Personally I’m what women are looking for in a real man known as Mr. Right. I have a wild side (I’m a bite of Bad Boy/ Adventurous and Dare Devilish) known as the “MAN” that your mother has warned you about. But hey, we both know you never listen.

wallpaper-sexy-woman-72041

You are looking for: Looking for a girl who has a similar personality like mine, but other different unique qualities as well. Some whose confident and independent (not y and superficial), responsible, down to earth, very liberal and open-minded, strong and sensitive, and very respectful to people and men with a good heart.

Most important she’s very simple not shallow and and high maintenance. Someone who appreciates the finer things of life and honors values. Also has morals and integrity and is very confident in herself. To very honest, I like Asian women (with beautiful hands and sexy Feet) nothing personal nor disrespectful to nobody, that’s just what I like. But if you your the type of girl (regardless of what walks of life your from) who has what it take be my mate, and satisfy me “intimately”. I’ll be open too changing my mind.

My idea of the perfect first date: is a very romantic peaceful walk on the southern California / Hawaiian beach coast (or any beach wherever we are). Where we are laughing and talking with each other, and just having a great time with each other.

My perception of an ideal relationship: Where me and my mate are always happy and enjoy being with each other. Going out and being in the great outdoors of doing things and when her and I at sitting on the sofa and cuddling with each other and romantically sweet talking and talking dirty to arose each other. With teasing and physically touching each other and making out. 

What I’ve learned from my past relationships: Never assume that people that you like is going be what you want them to be. Always take it slow and get too know them before you have feelings for them.

Please give me helpful advice to this list of 5 and examples to this profile, your Antiwuss-Bitch-Slapping is greatly appreciated.

Guidance Needed,

C.J.D., NJ

”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

CARLOS GIVES UP SOME GOOD STUFF

Ah, well then, let me administer the stinging slap of bitch-dom.

Here’s a rule I want you playa’s out there to remember: Don’t be afraid to scare away the women you don’t want.

Sounds kind of obvious, but you’d be amazed how many guys are trying to create the profile that wins them all. Or they go into this with the idea that they can avoid offending anyone.

Life is hard. Wear a cup.

As I like to say.

So, when writing your profile, write it with the person in mind you want to read it and go, “Hey, that’s cool…”

Write with your audience in mind.

Now, let me clear something up right now:

No matter how much or how clearly you write what you WANT in your profile, you will have tons of women read it and THINK that’s them – or WANT to think that it’s them.

sexy-dynamic-young-woman

In other words, saying what you want doesn’t get you what you want online. It’s not like making a grocery list. You’ll get women who are 20-30 pounds overweight who haven’t seen a gym since sixth grade writing you, even though you asked for someone who you can “workout with.”

It never ceases to amaze me what I used to get all the time. It got so bad I almost wanted to start writing:

“ALL FAT BROADS NEED NOT APPLY.”

Kinda harsh, but come on, man. What part of “athletic build” did you not understand?

So, with that in mind, here’s the way you need to construct your profile:

Make it FUN. 

Just go crazy with it. Have a blast. Don’t worry about getting all specific about your description so that you get the perfect woman. The fact is that the woman that will match you will probably not really match her own profile after you get to know her.

Sad truth.

So what you have to do is just inject your profile with a bunch of fun stuff that she’ll latch on to and go with.

You see, you want the kind of woman who responds to a fun and offbeat profile. (At least I hope so.) You want a woman with a sense of humor and adventure.

And that kind of woman WILL respond to a more laid back and less specific profile.

Face it – you’ll probably end up screening out most of them on the phone anyway, so why try to do too much unnecessary work in your online information? It doesn’t work, so you might as well cast a wider net.

Plus, when guys state what they want in their profiles, women actually LOOK to exclude themselves based on their INTERPRETATION of what you said.

And we know how well they do that.

And remember that you can’t TELL her you’re this or that (such as a “bad boy…”)

A real bad boy would never SAY it.

Instead you must SHOW it. With your words and your cocky attitude.

Try this:

“So if you’re the kind of girl that likes eating fruit off the tree, or off the stomach of a really close buddy, or you just like to lick your fingers and pretend, I won’t tell… Or maybe you’re the kind of girl who’s daring enough to jump in a cool lake on a hot day with her clothes on … So why are you still reading this? Send me an email! The worst thing that could happen is that you fall madly in love with my dimples and start stalking me. Wait, on second thought…”

See how that works? I just totally riffed that off the top of my head, and I’m sure it shows, but it’s unique and it doesn’t scream out NEEDY WUSS. It stands out.

Now all you have to do is come up with some of these on your own. It’s not hard. Just sit down and start typing some experimental stuff into your computer.

Remember, if it doesn’t work, you can always revise and change it. Nothing is permanent in cyberspace.

Are you looking to develop a few of the skills that you need to attract women? Not a ton of tricks, or magic hypnosis phrases, just a few core skills. I’ve got ’em.

They’re not complicated, either.

I cover this and many other topics in my e-books and audio. If you’d like to learn more about how the REAL players get the women, you can download the information right away.

If you want to get that kind of understanding and control over your love life, you need to read my e-book. And you can get the benefits of my best e-books, RISK FREE for the next 90 days.

Get my books, the audio, read them and hear me explain the strategies, and then put it to work for you right away.

I wrote them in a simple, easy-to-use format that ANYONE can learn. Nothing is complicated, and there’s no dumb hypnosis routines to learn. Just the stuff that will help YOU get more success with women.

 THE DATING BLACK BOOK РThis e-book set covers the dating scene, from meeting women, to your best attitude, to strategies, to how to touch women, to driving up their attraction, to dumping them when you need to move on. Looking for a woman? This book shows you the BIG picture.

Put this link in your browser to download it: www.datingdynamics.com

 SECRETS OF THE ALPHA MAN РThis e-book and CD coaching covers your inner game, from meeting women, to cultivating complete confidence, to life and success strategies, to understanding what the winners and Alpha Men in life have that you can have, too. Looking for a better lifestyle and inner confidence, as well as more women? This book shows you a map to a more successful LIFE.

Put this link in your browser to see all the great stuff in this set: www.alphaseduction.com

¬†ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING – And if you’re like most guys that love to hear advice and audible examples of things to learn by, and you want new and fresh tips every single month, The ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING is something for you to get.

Each month we go into loads of detail about every aspect of dating and seduction. From what to say to what to wear, to what to cook, to what to do when it’s time to close the deal. Every session is over 100 minutes of top-quality digital audio that you can download and listen to right away. No waiting for a CD to ship!

You can even get the complete first year (over 21 hours of audio) in a special deal at the site…

Put this link in your browser to check it out: www.datingdynamics.com

I’m in this to help you, educating men to do better in their lives in the one thing that has eluded us for thousands of years – SUCCESS WITH WOMEN.

Is there ANYTHING more important?

Remember life is too short, and death is too long.

Don’t wait until your heart is broken before you take steps to learn how this game is played.

Get the information on how to improve your dating life TODAY. Make the changes you need to make to get the love, bedroom action, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.

I’ll be back with more advice soon …

This is the year for you to get successful with women!

Stay Alpha,

 РCarlos Xuna

How confident guys attract women…

I asked my “buddy” (Who will be known as “C” here) if she’d explain more about this guy at her work that the ladies enjoy. You’ll be happy to know that it’s not because he’s a hottie… Read what she has to say about Bret:

“Bret is a man who oozes confidence. I am not talking about that horrific, cocky, obscene strutting that some insecure men delude themselves into thinking is impressive. What I am speaking of, is a man whose character is clearly defined, in an unassuming, resolute manner.

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Ya know the thing that’s so refreshing about Bret is that he is the consummate gentleman. I love that he rushes ahead of me to open a door, or offers to give me his seat in a crowded meeting. Chivalry my friend, is alive and well!

I ran into Bret today at the office and he came over to say hello. He looked me up and down and smiled. He often compliments me on how I look and today was no different.

Two things I notice when we chat, he is always attentive and he often stands fairly close to me. I wonder if he has used his ‚Äėcharm‚Äô to compensate for his physical statue. He is a rather large man.

I would much rather be in his company than the tall, dark, handsome, arrogant, self absorbed jerk I had to deal with this week. I actually had to tell this guy that I would not conduct a multi-million dollar transaction with him because he was an arrogant jerk. What a waste!”

See? Women will actually avoid a guy who’s good looking when he’s got the wrong attitude… This, my friends, is where all of us players are going to take over the world.