CARLOS XUMA'S DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER:
Think in COLOR - not Black & White ...
|
Carlos Xuma and the TRUTH About Dating and
Attraction...
Because every
man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Friday, 2:07 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk
All-or-nothing thinking prevails these days.
What am I talking about?
It's that propensity for guys to think
in black-and-white.
Yes or no.
Good or bad.
Right or Wrong.
Polarized to one side or the other.
"You're either with us or against us..."
There is very little in life that is mutually exclusive, meaning there's
not that much that requires you to choose one absolute over another.
But time and again I see this need for guys to think in these terms,
mostly to make things comfortable for them. Easier to digest with a mind
that isn't willing to do the work to engage in critical
thinking.
I recently read a newsletter from someone in
the "community" (that
clever term for the guys who want to discover how to attract
women more effectively.) In this email, the person used the term "seduction
community" and "lies" synonymously.
They're not necessarily the same, and it really
struck me as a way of being a little "elitist" and superior, as if this person's take
was the "truth."
I see this particular thinking with a lot of
guys that consider themselves "enlightened" here
in the whole "California consciousness" scene. In fact, it's
with women, too. They get a little arrogant after they find some bit of
spiritual truth that they perceive to put them further along life's path
than others may be.
Don't let yourself be pulled into this polarized
thinking that attempts
to prejudice you. It's easy to view this as good and that as bad, because
it lets you be a bit superior for a while. You get to be the smart guy.
You get to be "Right."
Until you learn something new...
And then it all changes again.
Keep learning, keep expanding your horizons, and never let anyone tell
you that someone else is wrong because of x and y and z. Just let them
show you THEIR way, and then YOU be the judge.
Now on to this week's newsletter:
QUESTION: Still
with mom ...?
I have a quick question. By me telling women I'm a 24 year old male still
staying at home with my mother stop the action? It seems like everytime I
tell a woman I still stay at home with my mother at 24 years old they either
stop trying to kick it with me, or make an excuse as to why they can't hang
out. Even when my mother isn't there.
I was talking to a friend who said no woman is going to want to fuck or lay
up under me in my mother's house.
Any advice?
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
Well, let's figure this out...
First of all, whenever you're in a situation that can be viewed as a negative,
it's your job - your DUTY - to make it a positive. Life hands you lemons,
you make lemonade. Not in some kind of dumb, deny-the truth kind of way, either.
You simply take life by the lemons and SQUEEEEEEZE until you get the lemonade.
Hmmm... that's not really an appetizing metaphor, but you get what I mean.
Lately there's been that video of "The Secret" being
passed around, and it's become something of a phenomenon. Now the essential
message of "The
Secret" has been around for thousands of years. I learned it back when
I was about 22. I was a self-development junkie, and I got the Earl Nightingale
recording of "The Strangest Secret." (He had a "gold" record
for this WAY back when, and he was the first person to really popularize the
concept.)
The message is simply: You become what you
think about.
BUT - most people are being misled by the video, thinking that if they just
think about things, they'll appear.
Uh, no. Not quite.
CONTINUED...
®
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
You have to add one more element that they don't tell you about:
WORK.
That's right, friends and neighbors. There is no gain without some sweat
equity.
If you're not working on what it is you want, it will NOT just come to you,
no matter how promising that concept is presented in the video and the book.
They make it seem like you just start programming your
subconscious mind and
that's it. Just sit back and wait.
In some cases, whatever it is you desire will take
back-breaking, blood - sweat & tears effort to acquire.
About 10 years ago, I wrote down about 10 long-term goals for my life on
an index card. I pulled that card out about a year ago to find that I'd completed
9 out of the 10 goals.
One of them was to obtain a black belt. Do you think I could have just settled
for daydreaming about getting my black belt?
No.
I had to get off my ass and go into a dojo at least
a couple times a week. I had to take private lessons to improve my ability.
Then I had to practice it for years to ingrain the moves into my muscle
memory. Now I can learn a Shaolin Chinese kung-fu form in a matter of a
few hours, like I just did this morning. It's called "Buddha Fist" and
it's sweet. But that ability came AFTER I put in the effort. Not before.
My black belt didn't just fall into my lap. I busted ASS to get it.
But I did get it.
Now, I digress. You're wondering, what the hell does this have to do with
living with your parents...
If you're in a situation that is not what you desire, TOUGH. You better get
behind your situation and appear all right about it or your friend is right,
a woman won't want to be with you.
Now, you didn't say why you were still at home, so I'm assuming there's really
no good reason for it. So guess what? It's time to get working on the solution.
Here it is:
FIRST: Move out. ASAP.
Why are you still living at home?
Laziness?
Gambling debts?
Taking care of
mom?
Well, whatever it may be you better figure it out and make that reason ready
for prime time.
Let's say you're just not where you planned to be in your career right now.
(And if this career is in the food service industry, it's time for you to
get ambitious.)
CONTINUED...
______________________
If you can't leave home, if it's out of necessity, than get
clear on it so
that you don't constantly undermine your own confidence. If YOU aren't
sure about why you're in the situation you're in, or at least working on changing
it, a woman will not dig you and you aren't going to get
far with her. She
WILL smoke you out. Women evolved this ability over thousands
of millennia to keep them with winners instead of losers, because her children
depended on a good choice.
No, you can't bypass this radar, not even with
hypnotic weasel phrases or routines. These work for guys who have the courage
and confidence to project their personalities.
But if you're okay with the reason, and you put it out there, you're likely
to get a whole lot further.
You see the one thing a woman is attracted to more than anything is AMBITIOUS
POTENTIAL. She's only got to sense your potential and your desire to strive
to know she's with an Alpha Man.
If you're looking for me to provide a short-cut for you so you can trick
some unwitting woman into sex with you when you have nothing good to offer
back, well think again.
If you don't have the skills, you don't deserve the rewards.
If you don't work for it, you don't deserve to HAVE it.
Dead simple.
You see, this is where I differ from some of the "gurus" out
there telling you that if you use this or that clever technique, you can
trick yourself past her radar to sleep with her.
Nope. Sorry. You'll just join the thousands of disappointed "pickup
artists" who find that there is a dead-end to this cult of thinking.
If you want to know better how to project your ambition
- and even create a mission and a purpose for yourself in life, let me tell
you about the
REAL Secret...
Think about this for a bit..
All success in life - especially with women - comes from
a strong core of Inner
Game.
What
is Inner Game?
It's your confidence. It's your attitude. You know when
a person has this it
oozes from them and gives them a comfortable vibe.
The reality is that True success with
women requires a firm
sense of direction in life, and self-confidence.
But you hear that all the time, don't you?
"Just be confident."
You'll hear that nugget of advice from a lot of
guys out there, but the difference is that they'll say "be confident," and
not give you ONE single method of actually improving
your confidence.
That's where I will help you.
I spent years trying out various self-help programs, studying
my own inner psychology (and inner wuss, too.) I figured out which things
make a difference and ...
... I have a plan to help
you improve your inner AND outer game with women.
When a woman senses that you've got passions and direction
in your life - even if that passion is to improve to be more attractive
to women - then
they'll want to come along for the ride.
I saw it over and over again as I went down this road.
Now, I also mapped this development, and I want you to benefit from my
experience.
There's no reason you should have to take as long as I did to make these changes
to your own life.
A Woman isn't looking for
a MAN - She's looking for a "Situation..."
For those of you out there reading this right now
that aren't sure how to calibrate to the "Alpha
Man" ideal, I have
something for you that you will find LIFE-CHANGING.
Click here
right now to find out what I'm talking about, or just read on...
A lot of the situations
guys write in about are a bit unclear because many guys delude themselves
as to their real level of success with
women. The reality is that most guys DO
NOT get what they
want from their interactions and relationships with women.
Crappy as that is, there is a cure for the common Lonely
Single Guy.
It's called EDUCATION.
It's the only way to stop being a whipped,
scared, beta guy and get your love life under your control again.
If you could learn secrets to attract
women, would you?
Can you see past
your ego defense mechanisms and embrace the power of the Alpha Man?
When you have enough women and action in your life, you
won't feel like you need to analyze or chase every chick that comes into your
sphere of influence. And that's a good thing. You'll act on it because
you've got a sense
of abundance in your life.
If you'd like to create your plan for making your life what you want, develop
confidence, attract women, accumulate wealth, find happiness...
I know there are some guys who won't understand how these concepts go together,
but all success in life is linked together by some common
principles.
If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.
Stop putting your destiny off until some other 'convenient'
time...
Discover your inner Alpha
Man NOW
Click HERE
to learn more...
CLICK
HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ...
Listen
to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating and seduction.
The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching
men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal
belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the tactics and techniques
in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like
learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos
Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner
game.' From there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching
women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in
this game to win it, these are the rules you
need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success
with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his
craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y
Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about
creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the
needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams.
I love his game, its 100% real."
- the dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS
what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond
the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use
and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical, valuable
advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many,
many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive
man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot
babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you
not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at
work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded,
self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just about anything.
And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How
to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction'
community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction,
and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his
character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to
the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women
truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO
- net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior.
You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How
do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics -
it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find
sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author
of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
|
Remember Carlos
Xuma's Rule:
"NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing that
which she TRULY desires..."
Learn more about R.E.A.L.
Game ® and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man: Take a look
at the original program that will put you on the path - Alpha
Immersion. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha
Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.
Prove it to yourself - If you want to hear all the great
things everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the
reviews. And then download them now to see why more men get success with
my advice and strategies ...
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
Listen to what this guy says about his experience
learning the Truth:
"I have purchased your Dating
Black Book and Approach
Women Now CD series. I have to tell you that after
reading the book and listening to the CDs I could help but feel
like the dorkiest man alive. I have let woman control my emotions
and have responded to them instead of them responding to me.
I always came off as a needy unconfident pervert!
"... I have learned to set standards and
not let a woman test me without busting their balls. I hope that if
I keep this up I will eventually find a woman that qualifies to be
in my life.
"One big thing too, if a woman sees that
I have things going on in my life, they tend to be more interested
instead of the bore I used to be. I have the motivation now to follow
my dreams and if a woman wants to be part of that then so be it, but
I have learned not to let a woman pull me off course of where I want
to go and do in my life..."
"Hey carlos, thank you for the Secrets
of the Alpha Man course. I think I must've listened to the
CDs four or five times now !
"The confidence I've gained in meeting
da ladeez at work and socially has been tremendous. I was never
skeptical at your
program, but was interested/concerned as how I would notice
the changes in myself. The clincher was when several of my closest
friends ... pointed out to me that I had confidence in so many ways!
"Thank you so much for your hard work for
making it easier for the rest of us!"
- Richie from UK
|
If you want to email Carlos a question,
send it only with THIS
EMAIL FORM.
"The difference between
great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives
actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively
waiting to see where life takes them next."
- Michael E. Gerber
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