CARLOS XUMA'S NEWSLETTER:
Carlos asks: "Was I too mean to this guy?"
Carlos Xuma and the TRUTH About Dating and
man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Here is a long question. I am involved with this woman that
we have been connected for a long time. We go back and forth with the fighting
and such.She says were are friends but act like more. Then she says I disrespect
her when I tell her I love her.
But when we are together she acts differently when we talk
on the phone or email. What she says and what she feels is different. There
is so much fear and anger from past relations that is trying to recreate those.
I can recognize that now.
She wants to end the contact but in her emails there is
so much energy that I know she really does not want to. She went away for
about 4 months and then came back.
She always give me hint of the connection. What do you think
is the best way to get past her head.When she is not in the head she can feel
but when she is it is difficult.
Need some clarity.
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Let me tell you something... Women have been playing this
innocent dual-personality gambit for as long as time itself.
Hell, I used to get caught up in it before I learned what
was really happening.
I'm going to be blunt here, since I'm in one of those moods.
Plus, I just had a dental procedure. And since I don't do anesthetics, I'm
in a nasty mood.
- This woman is probably damaged. In technical terms, she's
f*$&ed up. "Fear and Anger" are not what you want, are they?
I hope not. Make better decisions for yourself, even she can't for herself.
- Stop trying to interpret what she wants for her. You
can't MAKE a person want you. If she really wanted you, she wouldn't be
holding herself back. She'd be in your arms and in your bed.
- Go out and meet ten quality women (i.e., no baggage),
and take it to a romantic level with them. If you still want this stunningly
messed up specimen after that, by all means, go for it. But you know what?
- You're addicted to the variable reinforcement you're
getting. Just when you are about to give up, I bet she gives you just the
right amount of hope. It's classical addiction behavior. And if you don't
watch out, it will ruin your Alpha Man attitude. (It already has made you
waste time and energy in a relationship that has gone NOWHERE.)
- The concept of sunk costs says that no matter how much
you want to , you can't recover money that has been spent, or invested without
giving a return. It's gone. The best thing you can do is to go find
a GOOD place to invest. But most people follow their (wrong) emotions that
tell them if they just hang on a little longer, they'll get the Big
So they continue to throw good money after bad.
When the game you're in is costing you more than it is giving
back to you, it's time to MOVE ON.
And then you need to learn how to change your attitude to
be the Alpha Man that
Sure, books like Neil Strauss' "The Game" have
brought this area into the public eye, but if all you do is copy a bunch of
techniques from some forum somewhere, you're not going to do well. You'll
get blown out by women and your attitude will go right down the drain.
I see this happen all the time in the field.
Instead, why not learn how to use your REAL personality
to get women?
can find out more about the Alpha Immersion here...
I deleted my ex from my life. And as I said I'm meeting
A LOT of women and it's a lot to keep up. But My Best Friend is still hanging
out and talking to my ex. She stayed with him a week after we broke up. He
and she said nothing happened but come on really.
But I've known this guy as a friend for about 12 years.
I sent him an email saying its a slap in the face but how would you handle
Thanks for all your help.
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
I'm sitting here with a wry smile on my face, shaking my
head and sighing.
You can imagine what I'm thinking, can't you?
Your 'best' friend, huh?
Not really. Not if he "helps" a friend out like
Just imagine, a few years down the road, and you're hitting
a tough spot with your wife. Your 'friend' says, "Hey, buddy, no worries.
I'll help you out any way I can. You can even come here and stay at my place
few days if you need to get away from her. I'll even go over and check to
be sure your woman is okay, too. How's that?"
Wow. What a buddy.
What I sense here is a guy who doesn't feel you're an Alpha enough
to stick up for yourself, or the sanctity of the friendship. Even if nothing
happened (which I'll admit is a possibility), he should have refused if he
was any kind of THOUGHTFUL friend.
I think that HE thinks you're a pussy, and he can walk over
your friendship if it suits him. Then he's going to bang your confused little
girlfriend. Sorry to be blunt, but I tell the Truth here.
You know what I say? F*ck all this feel-good nonsense and
make sure he knows EXACTLY how you feel, and EXACTLY what
the repercussions are for taking your friendship for granted.
You sent him an Email?
Are you KIDDING me? What kind of scolding is that?
Call him up and give him a piece of your mind. He's playing
you for a chump, or he's got all the awareness of a piece of astro-turf. Either
way, he needs a good talking-to.
No one respects what they do not fear a little, my friend.
Or at least fear losing.
I discuss this and many other essential elements of being
a dominant male in my program: The
Secrets of the Alpha Man.
But once this has been resolved, please find a way to let
it go and move on, for everyone's benefit.
For now, you should take a look at my Alpha
Man Conversation & Persuasion if
you want to get the vital skills for commanding power and influence in your
communications - right
HERE for dating tips and dating advice to get women attracted to you - with
the REAL you. No games.
Powerful men don't try too hard. They know
how to influence a woman by demonstrating their internal strength in certain
Do you want to start learning how to dramatically
improve your self-confidence with real, time-proven
Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine
and start showing her a real Alpha
And if you'd like to learn more about REAL
Game and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man, you should take a
look at the program that will put you on the path - The
Secrets of the Alpha Man. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha Man program that
gives you the REAL Game with women.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit
if this will actually get to you. Just wanted to say
'You KICK ASS!!'
havent felt this confident and had so much control with a women ever...
You're Bigger than life! keep it coming
Is there ANYTHING more
important than learning the secrets of how to attract women?
Time is running short for all of us, no matter how
young or old you are. Don't waste precious years of your life learning by
trial and error (and perhaps not learning at all).
Get the information on how to improve your dating
life TODAY. Make the changes you need to make to get the love, se-x, and relationships
that you want and DESERVE to have.
If you've ever found yourself saying, "I don't
understand women!" then our e-books will finally give you the knowledge
you need to finally understand. I'm telling you, it's like getting a book
that describes how a certain magic trick is done that has fascinated you for
All my experience ... my heart and soul is in these
e-books and audio programs.
I just know you'll enjoy them.
I'll be back with more advice soon ...This is the
year for you to get busy and get successful with women!
- Carlos Xuma
Shabba of Dating Advice Coach Reviews The
Dating Black Book:
"Too many books dealing with
meeting and dating women focus on techniques instead of the basic fundamentals
of what actually attracts women to men.
In fact this is the main reason why so many nice
guys have problems actually getting any further than the first few dates
with women and that's if they find the courage to actually use the techniques
However, Carlos Xuma in his book The
Dating Black Book shows men the basic fundamentals of attracting
and being successful with women.
Dating Black Book starts off explaining the importance of actually
improving yourself and building self confidence to attract women.
If you are looking for a sugar coated version of
what it is going to take then this is Not the book for you.
After covering the different aspects of your inner
game as well as how to build your self confidence, Carlos moves on to
actually show you how to find a girlfriend or women for a long-term
Many times men have a tendency to get comfortable
with a woman quite early and end up in a relationship they do not want
and do not know how to get out of.
Dating Black Book helps you understand what to look for in a good
woman and what to watch out for in a Not so good woman.
To finish off the book, Carlos quickly covers the
basics on sex as well as some additional resources for men to read that
will help improve a man's life in general.
Overall, if you have ever read anything that Carlos
Xuma has written on dating and women then you already know that he has
a lot of very useful information and knowledge to give men, and The
Dating Black Book will help you get even more of that information
I would highly recommend this book to the majority
if not all Nice Guys or Recovering Nice Guys out there who are struggling
with some of the concepts and techniques that other guys teach.
If you want to just be yourself and attract women
Dating Black Book by Carlos Xuma is for you..."
- Teddy Shabba - Dating Advice
"The difference between
great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives
actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively
waiting to see where life takes them next."
- Michael E. Gerber
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