Friday, March 28, 2008

What if you get conflicting messages from your woman?

I am in serious relationship and some of the things you say men should avoid doing my girlfriend likes them.

I am confused about if I should stop doing them or continue. I am definitely sure that she loves the things you say we guys shouldn't do such as being clingy we talk everyday on the phone but she is usually the one that calls me and she asked how come I don't call her everyday and that she would love if I did.

Should I start calling her everyday or continue doing what I'm doing?

-Chris
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Look, I'll be the first to tell you that behaviors do change - slightly - once you've evolved into a certain place in your relationship.

But I also have to set things straight where they need setting.

Hey, it's why you keep coming back here, right? :)

First off, if what you're doing is working, I'm not going to tell you to stop. But I will tell you that what you THINK is working now might not work a month or two down the road.

I don't know how you define a "serious" relationship, so I can only guess at that. But I will guess that you aren't more than 6 months into this relationship.

Here's my experience with women that seem to like "clingy" behavior...

1) The woman typically has a few insecurities about relationships. She likes clinginess because she has a slightly insecure personality.

2) After a time, clingy behavior in a relationship becomes an addictive relationship, which can be very unhealthy for both people.

So by the end of your email, I have the impression that you're doing the right thing, NOT calling every day. And she's showing desire for you.

Hmmm...

Just because she SAYS something, Chris, doesn't mean you can be "definitely sure."

One of the things that keeps a romance on the right track is a healthy level of unfulfilled desire.

There's a Chinese curse that goes: May you get everything your heart desires.

My advice?

Let her chase you some more, because she won't leave you for wanting a little more. And the opposite is just as true, by the way.

Give her the gift of missing you.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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