Sunday, August 28, 2005

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN: QUESTION


Hi,

Thanks for all the advice on the book it actually works, this IS worth the money seriously.

Since I read your book I have changed my approach to girls a lot and it does obviously work.

The first girl I had a crush on and dated but got dumped by when I was 19 (am 26 now), I didn't even have sex with her because untill late I beleived that this thing was something very special that had to be handled with carefully and respectfully, so the only time she was realy hot on me she was drunk and i refused to have sex because i thought that for the first time she should be sober and aware and that it would be better like that, finaly i never had sex with her and got dumped and had my heart broken (a friend of hers announced it to me and i even dropped tears, not especially because of her but there was a series of decptions in other parts of my life at that time n that's the drop that made the bucket overflow n i shed a few tears, offcourse she thought she was the only reason why i shed a tear or two). After that i changed a lot and started dating n having sex a lot because a cared less, not due to strategy but because or earliar deception.

Now she is back in the region after a trip abroad, she wanted to become a salsa teacher, but now she's back here with a simple job in a travel agency.
We've always kind of kept contact, I became a friend to her even though we didn't see each other very often. Being a friend to me she talked very freely about all her relationships and boy was I dumb, she is and was VERY hot,but only with the "jerks"(the type of guys you describe in ur book) I now every single detail of all her sexual life, of almost all the guys she's seen n some i know , n makes me laugh to secretly know things on them...anyway.

Since am in this book of yours she's giving me the impression that she's hitting on me,calling me wanting to see, me offering me drinks in a club a saw her in and her best friend seems to like me to. She's actually dating a guy i know a little(played ball with him years ago) since a few years, the guy's not in control of the relationship, i can tell thanks to my experiance of her personality and the parameters you talk about in ur book.

She was having sex with a guy in london regularly n i don't know if he know's that, anyway am sure he doesn't now that am seeing her sometimes as a friend because she didn't tell him (i talked to him once by chance i met him in town), even though she could have because we're not having anything.

Even though we have fun together n i pretend to be in control, the truth is that because she was my first crush i still feel a little for her even though now i think she's a bitch.

My question : If one day i have the oppotunity should i date her or not, should i even continue seeing her or am i wasting my time.

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CARLOS:

You answered the question yourself:

"I think she's a bitch."

Why would you want to date a bitch?

Because there's a part of you that's harboring a little revenge, isn't there?

You don't really "feel" that much for her. What you have is a deeply ingrained obsession.

You see, early on in life, men over-emotionalize their desires for women. Part of it is hormonal, part is just our conquering nature. We don't let go easily. (Sometimes we hold on to things longer than women.)

So what you're really experiencing is a little regret that you didn't get your way with this girl, and now you want to run it to completion. You're kicking yourself because you know you shouldn't have pulled that "let's make it special" crap and just gone for it when you had the chance.

Your inner-teenager just won't let go.

But you need to. If you don't LIKE her, why would you even hang around her?

That was rhetorical. We both know why.

It's worse than wasting your time. It's an unhealthy train of thought that will put you on a very dark path.

If you wanted her with your heart instead of your little trouser snake, then I'd say go for it. But the emotions are all wrong.

Move on, don't give this obsession another moment's thought.

Go find a GOOD woman that isn't using you to make her boyfriend jealous (oh, yes... that's what she's doing because she senses that he isn't in control).

Show them both that you're an Alpha by going out and getting yourself a brand new woman that you can form a healthy attraction to.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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