How to Read Women's Body Language
by Carlos Xuma
One of the things that I am asked frequently is:
How do I read a woman's body language?
How can I tell if
she's "into" me?
First of all, before I give you the inside detail
on reading this area of physiology, I want to caution you that if you're
spending a lot of time "reading" into
a woman's appearance rather than creating the vibe of the interaction, you're
probably focusing on the wrong areas.
If a woman is interested in you, you should be able to figure this out by
her overall interest in the conversation. If she is still there chatting
with you, she's at least a little interested. Just don't get caught up in
the trap of interpreting her more than you create the attraction proactively.
Your role as an Alpha Man is to take control of the interaction and lead
it where it needs to go.
Now, if you're in the conversation with a woman, but you're still a bit
unclear about her interest level in you, or wondering if she's just be trying
to be polite, here are some things to watch for. These are positive indications
of interest (IOIs) from her:
1) She's preening.
Preening is when she's doing things to improve her appearance to you, such
as thrusting her chest out, moistening her lips, adjust her hair, straighten
her clothes, and so on. When a woman is interested in a man, she will subconsciously
become a bit insecure about her appearance and start fixing it.
While she may not pull out a brush and mirror, she will do some small things,
such as leave to use the bathroom, but come back looking better, maybe with
a new coat of lip gloss.
2) She's keeping good eye contact and smiling fairly frequently.
Good eye contact means that she's not constantly scanning the room, or looking
to her friends that may be with her. If she isn't looking at you for a significant
part of your interaction, you'd better move along.
When you say something funny, does she smile? Does she laugh? Watch for
a token smile from her that is sincere.
How can you tell if a smile is real or not? A real smile will make her eyes
squint a little. Watch for this key indicator.
3) Her body language is open and loose.
This means that her arms aren't crossed in front of her, and she's not turned
away from you too far.
A woman will also play with proxemics during the
course of your interaction. Proxemics are the interplay of distance between
you and her, and how she uses it. Is she leaning in or pulling away? Does
she pull back when you come within her personal "bubble?"
There are some tests you can do to see how comfortable she is feeling with
you: At some point during the conversation, make an excuse to change positions
from one side of her to another if you can. When you do, gently reposition
her with your hands on her upper back and arm. If she shrinks away, you've
got some work to do.
If not, Game On!
4) She touches you.
This one should be obvious, but it isn't for a lot of guys. We tend to disqualify
signs like this when they happen because it seems almost too forward and
incongruous. In reality, a woman will touch your arm in some way if she's
finding you attractive. This usually happens at a high point, like when she's
made to laugh about something.
Social conventions rule how a woman will express her interest in you, and
touching is one of the few ways that she will display interest. So when it
comes, you should accept it as a genuine sign - but continue unfazed in your
If you watch closely, you'll see many other physical cues that indicate
whether or not a woman is into the conversation with you. They're subtle,
but observable. The most important thing you can do, however, is to not get
too caught up in the details. If you're paying too much attention to the
little things, you'll appear shaky and lacking confidence.
Just relax and pay attention to the feel of the conversation rather than
look too hard for 'signs' to tell you what to do.
Remember: Don't wait for opportunity; MAKE
IT for yourself. This is the
I hope this helps you understand a little more about the physical dynamics
and interplay of body language between women.
There's a lot more information on reading body language that I cover in
Her NOW. This program is a 4 CD set with e-book that will give you
ALL the skills you need to walk up to women and get phone numbers and dates
consistently. These are the
techniques I use and show my students, and I'm
sharing all the inside secrets in this program.
You can check it out by clicking here: Approach Women
Talk to you again soon....
PS: For a limited time I'm also throwing
in a bonus program with the Approach
Her NOW set, and that's a FULL Year of additional
audio coaching MP3 files that will help you with your ability to Approach
Women. It's called the Approach Coach.
You'll get dozens of approaches, strategies,
and field reports, along with advice from other experts, like my buddy Thundercat
- Joseph Matthews.
So the learning will keep going long after you've finished the e-book and
Really, if you have ANY approach anxiety, you owe it to yourself to get
this set and take care of it right NOW. Remember that EVERY relationship
you have with a woman must start with an approach. Why not make it work for
Get it here:
How to Approach Women