Alpha Male Vibe Question:
Hey Carlos, I've read some of your advice and I've learned some things in which I have been trying to put into practice.
I seem to be able to make girls laugh, and chill easily with girls around me. I've been practicing some advice I read,like acting not too interested when talking to a girl, don't smile too much, not acting too needy, being funny and cocky, staying in control and some other stuff...
Whereas my friend who doesnt seem to be able to make girls laugh as much as I do and is nice to girls seems to be getting more attention from certain girls. We both are reasonably good looking guys. Sometimes I feel as if no matter how much I try to follow the 'rules', and even when this friend doesn't try to follow the rules, I find that girls tend to give him more attention.
Am I doing something wrong?.. What is it that he's doing that I'm not doing? Or are they (girls) just playing games of their own? And one more thing.. How do you get the aura of 'coolness' like Bill Murray you were talking bout.
Here's my guess...
I think you're too socially reactive.
What do I mean by that?
You're reacting to every social cue or incident as if it indicates something about you - or about your friend. And, in doing so, you're starting to chase the carrot instead of letting it chase you.
The syndrome that you're suffering from is "hyper attentiveness." This is where you become aware that all these social cues are being thrown, and that there are strategies that will work, and you lose the natural 'vibe' of the situation you're in.
The first thing I want you to observe in these situations is HOW your friend is doing. Not WHAT.
In other words, what I think you'll see is that he's not being a Try-Hard. He's not following a script of attitude that requires him to behave a certain way, and as a result he comes across as comfortable with himself.
A lot of analytical guys take this stuff and they feel as if they use it like a recipe (one dash of cocky-funny, a spoonful of negative hits, a few good stories, bake for 20 minutes) that they'll see some kind of magical outcome. But the one ingredient that they inevitably neglect is their own PERSONALITY.
THese aren't "rules." They're guidelines, and they are meant to flex for different social conditions. The real point of learning what I teach (and you need to actually study my materials to understand this) is that you have to become more aware of social dynamics.
Remember that the definition of confidence is really about liking yourself. There's no substitute for that, and women sense that more than all the "cocky/funny" in the world. I'll bet dollars-to-donuts that your friend is laid back and relaxed, and that's his secret. He's not being a try-hard.
And the aura of "cool-ness" that I talk about is something that is cultivated from the inside out.
The best way to cultivate it is to repeat the success of someone else who has laid out a map to doing it. I created that map for you, and you can get it in the Alpha Man program...
The real problem is that you've only got a small part of the picture. You said yourself that you've read some of my advice. The newsletters are a good starting point, but you will only get real long term success through one of my e-book or audio dating advice programs.
You need the complete picture to succeed in the long-term.