Ex-girlfriend Question:

Do you ever stay friends or keep in touch with your ex-girlfriends/lovers?

CARLOS:

Absolutely!

I don't like to burn any of the emotional connections I've had with women, and it's very disappointing when I can't stay in contact with them.

However, I've long since discovered that there are always those women who are not capable of handling the emotional fallout. I had a previous ex that wouldn't talk to me for over 2 years, and I had not done anything horrible, either. She was just so disappointed by the breakup.

In fact there are a lot of women who are wired this way. I don't know if it's a survival mechanism or something, but very often when a woman is rejected, she cuts off all possible contact with that person. (Unlike men who start to pursue them even more feverishly.)

I consider it a high statement of someone's emotional maturity when they're able to keep in contact with someone that they realize they are not going to have an emotional connection with the same way anymore.

Most often, a woman will not want to maintain a "friendship" after things have ended. There's just too much negative emotion there for her to get past it.

The best thing for a guy to recognize is that this is normal behavior for women, and that they shouldn't feel guilt syndrome over this. It's not your fault! This doesn't mean you're a jerk or a bad guy, or that you have to atone for your sins. Just move on and let her go. (Whether you broke up with her, or vice-versa.)

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