Dating Advice for Men - How to Approach Women, Attract Women, and Meet Girls



- Carlos Xuma - Dating Dynamics

There are a lot of guys out there sending conflicting information regarding what it is and isn't to be "Alpha."

As in "Alpha Man" or "Alpha Male."

Let's start right off by saying that "Alpha" behavior is NOT bad.

It is NOT what you see animals doing in their nasty time in the zoo.

It's NOT attacking a tribe and killing all the young, or any weird stuff like that.

Look, "Alpha" just means the dominant male (and sometimes the female) in a group.

It's the one that is most likely to procreate and get its genes into the next round of the "Keep the species alive" game. (And let's not get into that stupid banter about there not being any scientific evidence for this, either. It has been proven in countless species, and I'm not going to get bogged down in the exceptions to the rule.)

So it really does make sense to get successful with women if you think about it like this. If you don't find a woman to mate with and create little teeny versions of you, then it all ends with you.

Do you deserve to have your genetic legacy carried on into the next generation? I hope so. And more importantly, I hope you believe so.

So don't listen to a lot of this garbage and double speak out there regarding "Alpha Men" and what they should or should not be.

Here are a few things an Alpha IS:
- Clever/smart/cunning
- Ambitious
- Excited
- Honorable
- Dominant (not aggressive, but demonstrating superior social skills)
- Stable
- Fit (healthy lifestyle)
- Curious
- Balanced
- Natural

Now those are the things that make up a good lifestyle. In my e-book set "Secrets of the Alpha Man" I cover these, as well as the real-life exercises required to succeed in life.

Here are a few things an Alpha is NOT:
- Aggressive
- Angry at women
- Verbally abusive
- Arrogant
- Obnoxious

There seems to be some confusion (and most of it is created by other guys hoping to cash in on your confusion) about what it means to be a STRONG and persuasive man in today's society.

I'm not even going to throw you more of that evolutionary stuff because it really doesn't matter. When you think about it, it just makes sense that we want people who appear or demonstrate more social value than us. It's because we naturally want to latch on to their power.

Again, it all comes back to power.

So being an "Alpha" doesn't mean you're dragging women back to a cave.

Or that you're being an aggressive, pushy jerk.

Or that you're being forceful and mean.

Or that you're inconsiderate.

Or that you're acting like a brutish animal.

It means that you understand the basic primal reasons a woman is attracted to a man, and you're not afraid to BE a man.

Not a cardboard, one-dimensional wimp that's afraid to let women know he desires them.

You see, there are only two motivating forces in life:




That's it. We are motivated purely by what we feel we WANT, and what we feel we most want to avoid.

Fear is a stronger motivator for humans because it helped us survive potentially life-threatening situations. You're smart to fear wild animals, or large trains heading toward you. You can't afford the luxury of analysis in these situations. A delay could cost you your life.

On the other hand, in our modern society, there isn't much you need to fear. In fact, we fear too much already.

And the fear that is most crippling is the fear of LOSS.

Everyone's favorite short green dude, Yoda, even said it in the latest Star Wars flick...

"Fear of loss leads to the dark side."

And so it does. It leads you down a path where you never gain because you're too afraid of losing what you have.

An Alpha Man understands that the only way to live is to wake up each day and understand that everything you have was just given back to you today. And when he goes to sleep at night, he gives it all back.

Lose this attraction to your possessions before they possess you...

Whoah, I'm getting very philosophical here.

What I'm trying to get across to you here is that you should avoid becoming attached, even to TERMINOLOGY.

When someone tells you that being an Alpha is bad, or it's this and that, remember that they're trying to color your perception. They're trying to steer you away from a path of understanding and enlightenment.

Trust your own intelligence to figure out what an Alpha Man REALLY is.

He's already inside of you. It just takes a little work to let this instinct out so that you can become the COMPLETE you.

There are a lot of guys out there who haven't been able to open themselves up to letting out this TRUE nature inside them. They hide it behind "Politically Correct" BS about not hurting other people's feelings, or being sensitive.

It's really a fear to let other people see the REAL you. The man that wants to achieve.

The man that wants women in his life.

The man that wants monetary success.

The man that wants power over the forces of life that seem to control him.

Forget about all this "Alpha" talk and just open your mind up to finding this part of you that isn't held back by fear, and is ready to reach out for understanding that could - and will - change your life for the better.

So on one hand we have the lowly AFC, or non-Alpha. He's a little insecure, possibly low self-esteem, but WANTS to grow and change.

On the other hand we have the Alpha, the confident and assertive man with healthy communication and self-esteem.

There is only one direction of growth here, and it's from the AFC to the Alpha.

What is the Alpha?

He's a MODEL.

He's the prodigal "seducer," if you will. The Model is an example that we can use to illustrate the best case scenario. The Ideal. (Kind of like how Michaelangelo's
statue of David exemplifies the perfection of the human form.)

You see, the AFC can't make a quantum leap and BECOME the Alpha all at once. It's not that simple. He needs an idea of what this goal is that he's pursuing that
gives him the result of "I'M SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN."

The Alpha Model provides him with a framework - a picture to draw in his mind of the attitude he's after. How does the AFC become the Alpha then?

By creating a PATH.

We, gentlemen, provide that Path of development - the inspiration, tactics, and practical field examples that this AFC can then use to pin on his mental
framework of the Alpha Man. The Model becomes clearer in his mind the more he uses the tactics and strategies and gains understanding through their application.

Now, when he uses these techniques, he only needs to understand that by using them he is merely brushing in more of the mental picture of how he can achieve this state of Alpha Man.

Without tactics and strategies to use, he becomes the Wanderer, likely to fall into the pit of self-pity. He begins the path to the Dark Side ---> He starts to fall back on the path of passive easygoing Nice Guy.

This false path is logical, after all, and nothing appeals more to a man's mind than logic. And so begins his downward spiral.

Think of it like this: Here's a guy that's going to school to be a carpenter. A teacher can teach him all the skills he needs to measure, cut wood, sand it right, plane it, read the grain, chisel and sculpt it, stain it, and so on. After several long years of study he will leave school with the basics, the principles, but he will not have made them his OWN until he practices woodwork for a while. He'll have to spend
many years figuring out the Art after he's learned the Science. Once he makes good woodwork, he'll then get the confidence to try and do more unique things. It
builds into what I call the Upward Spiral.

But without that schooling, that learning of the science, he will be lucky to get anything more than a hit-and-miss success rate. With much more miss than hit.

So our arguments over whether "direct" with one's personality or not are pretty moot. Most guys are going to do whatever they're going to do, and a lot of the time with little understanding, morals, or smarts.

This is the guy that only presents this seduction material with the dry hope of scoring from a "system" or a "plan." I can't control that from happening. He's always out there lurking on the fringe. I hope that he'll wise up someday.

I'm only here for the intelligent guy who knows that his ego very often short-circuits his success, and it is only through self-development that we can get rid of the insecurity so that he can combine the Science with the Art.

I teach the Path.

The Path leads from the AFC from his state of despair and ignorance to the Alpha Man.

And the Art of Seduction is really nothing more than building the confidence and self-esteem to reveal his true personality, while understanding what REALLY does
work to stimulate female attraction.

So how does the AFC build this confidence?

By trying these techniques in the real world and seeing what works.

It may sound like circular reasoning, but it's true.

You can't learn confidence. You only gain it from shedding your insecure thinking - and that comes from taking action ... and you only take action when you've got enough confidence to take that risk of action once again.

The way to hop on this upward spiral is to have some Science to apply.

And then he gets to feel the reward of success deep down in his nervous system.

This feeling is the fertilizer that grows his continued sense of confidence.

So the moral of this story, brothers, is that I'm working to provide the moving conveyer of information that feeds his upward spiral.

Only through repetition and practice - and courage to persist.

This is the Art of being the Alpha Man.


Carlos Xuma - Dating Dynamics

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"Carlos Xuma is the nation's leading personal dating coach, and professional dating agent. Recognized as the world's premier dating authority, Carlos' date-coaching and skills work for single men everywhere. If you use sites like,,,, and other online dating sites, Carlos' dating advice can help you succeed like never before. Even better than what a dating agency could ever offer you, Carlos' advice, products and ideas turn you into your own matchmaker, and will double your dating success whether you seek a relationship, romance, or the love of your life."


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