Monday, July 10, 2006

Give her away...

Carlos Xuma,

I have been receiving Alpha emails for a short amount of time and the information sounds interesting.  I need some advice or publication that would help me out with my particular situation.  I have been dating this woman for 2 months and the 1st month went very well, had sex, she was calling me "sweetie" "honey" etc..  

Then she let me know 4 weeks after we had been dating that her ex-boyfriend of 3 years had called her to go to dinner (he broke up with her), I said "no problem if you need time to figure things take some time and call me in August".  She said that was not necessary, she still wanted to see me.  

Shortly after this we were out at the bar with some friends playing pool with some strangers and she kissed some random guy, so I went up, told the guy to back off and almost started a fight.  She told me to be mad at her and not the guy as it meant nothing to her, she was just flirting.  I told her this is not acceptable behavior around me and she agreed it would not happen again.  Should I dump her, or just pull back and call her in 3 weeks?

Thanks, DP
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CARLOS:

I read this and immediately had a vision of this woman, having dealt with many like her before. She's giving off red flags, but you're ignoring them for cheap superficial signals like affection and sex. Sorry to tell you, man ... these things are STANDARD EQUIPMENT with any woman. Your expectations are coming from a scarcity point of view.

Rarely do I feel that my advice needs to be so short and sweet, but if I were to sum it up in less than 10 words ....

Dump her. She’s a tramp.

She’s playing you and your emotions like a grand piano.

Any Alpha Man would have calmly broken it off with her the second she brought up an "ex" boyfriend. Chances are, she's his booty call, and you'll be the chump that nicely gives her some "space" while she goes off to have screaming, deep inner orgasms with him.

Sound a bit extreme?

Nope. Not a bit.

There's a difference between giving a woman space in a wimpy way and knowing when you're going down the old heartache trail. When a woman feels compelled to let you in on this information, it's a test or it's her way of letting you know that she's got unresolved feelings for him.

Oh, and for the record, she was actually right about something. You should have been mad at her instead of that guy. It was HER choice to jeopardize what she had with you. What you should have done was say, "Hey, man, you want her? She's cheap." Take a quarter from the change on the bar. "Okay, she's yours."

Letting him have her is even better than fighting him. Give the gift that keeps on giving, I say.

"Meant nothing," huh? If that was true, she wouldn't have kissed him. And if it was true, she lacks self-control. She'll be doing it again next week. Just try and get a restful night's sleep the next time she goes out "with the girls."

The next time this happens to you (I fear the lesson may not  be learned as deeply as possible yet), I want you to do this at the first sign of poor behavior or potential red flags:

Do not give her another chance!

You've already let her get away with two episodes of severe dating misconduct. You're demonstrating that you'll take anything she does as long as there's a chance you'll get some at a later date.

It's not about if you should dump her or wait 3 weeks. This is showing that you actually value her enough to want some kind of manipulative result. When a woman violates your standards of behavior in any way, she is GONE.

At least she is in my world.


alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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