What
Kind of Gifts Do You Give Women…?
From time to time I get questions from guys - usually
around a holiday or birthday - about what to give women for gifts.
I put together a quick Q&A for you so you'll understand
the "rules" for handling gift-giving with women...
1) What types of presents should
be given at the beginning of a relationship that the
man hopes to be a serious, lasting one? (and what not
to give!)
Generally speaking, a man should
not give ANY gifts for the first few two or three dates.
Most guys tend toward "buy-her-affections" behavior,
where they try to lock women into an implied commitment
by buying gifts for her far too soon.
What this really does is scare women off.
Instead, a guy should save his money to demonstrate that
he's FUN, and then show her a good time. An example might
be to get a few rolls of quarters and take her to the arcade.
Or buy her a really nice pastry that you can share together.
Gifts early on should be geared toward enhancing the experience
of your time together, not to impress a woman. Hold off
on the flowers and the candy until you've built up some
genuine rapport and interest from her, then your gifts
will be appreciated.
After three dates or so, the guy can then open up a little
and maybe get her a card or some flowers. But the idea
here, again, is to keep it LOW KEY. It's better to under-gift
at this point so that he can show thoughtful caution rather
than hasty imprudence.
Remember: It's not the money you spend, but the message
you send.
2) What types of presents he should give to show its just
a short-term, sexy affair, a fling that will go no further?
(and what not to give!)
For a sexy affair, give sexy gifts! Small things like
a coupon to fulfill her fantasy, or take her to a lingerie
store to buy a really hot nightie. How about a couple of
tickets to a steamy movie?
Do NOT give expensive gifts as they imply a level of commitment
that neither party may be willing to make. No jewelry or
big-ticket items.
Keep it tasteful, not trashy.
3) What types of presents to
give to a girl as a sign that now the man is starting
to think more seriously about her, and wants to show
that he hopes it will last. (and what not to give!)
When it comes time for an anniversary or some kind of
major event, such as Valentine's Day, or a birthday, you're
pretty much obligated to step up and produce something
memorable. I once gave a girl a naked Barbie doll with
a coupon in the box that said I'd buy her (and Barbie)
some clothes, as long as I got to help pick them out. That
went over BIG with her.
Another possibility for a good "relationship" gift
is something that links you two together. No, not handcuffs,
or matching T-shirts. I'm talking about something that
will keep reminding her of you when you're not around,
such as a nice pair of wine glasses from your trip to visit
some vineyards, or make her a CD with a bunch of your favorite
songs.
Get her a gift that does double-duty: It makes her more
attracted to you, AND it makes her feel good. (Which, funny
enough, is the exact same thing!)
4) What signs should
a man look out for to know what present to give? How
do you interpret her signals?
A man should show some insight and intelligence in his
choice for a gift. He should look at the woman's interests
and get her something that stands out. If she's into adventure
sports, get her a day pass at a rock climbing gym. If she
likes music, get her a ticket to a concert. Take a few
minutes to think it through and you'll come up with dozens
of good ideas.
The idea here is to be IRREGULAR with the timing, and understand the need for some variation
in the way you gift. It's less about the "what" than it is about the "when" and "how."
Small gifts, every so often, are much more effective than
the large ones. Save the big gifts for the big events.
He should also watch out for signals that indicate the
woman is a little TOO into getting gifts. If she drops
any overt hints about wanting material gratification, he
should run to the nearest exit.
5) Is there a time when you really shouldn't give a woman
a gift?
Don't give gifts solely to smooth over an error on your
part, such as insulting her and expecting to get in her
good graces again just by sending her candy. You have to
show her some genuine remorse with the gift so that it
doesn't come across as just an empty gesture.
Be wary of being the only one in the relationship buying
gifts. She should buy things for you occasionally, too
- IF she's really into you. Demonstrate that you can provide,
but let her demonstrate she can nurture you back.
Another time you shouldn't buy her a gift is to prompt
her for sexual favors in return. It sets up a bad precedent
for you, and it cheapens her.
The best rule for gifts is that they should always be
given with NO expectation of return. Give just for the
pleasure of giving and you'll rarely go wrong.
Remember that when you've got your self-confidence established,
you don't have to worry as much about when and how to give
gifts, because there won't be any subtext of neediness
on your part.
That just means that when you have the right Alpha Male
vibe to you, a woman will understand what your intentions
are and your meaning. She'll understand that the gift is
something she should cherish and not take for granted.
On the other hand, if you're giving to GET, you're going
to have problems. Women will not want to be with you because
you're setting up an agenda, and that's the most unattractive
thing a woman can sense from you.
To learn more about the rules
of handling women - the confident ALPHA way - go take
a look at my dating
tips for guys.
Stay Alpha!
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN THE FOUNDATIONAL ALPHA STRATEGIES
FOR WOMEN:
Your friend,