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A Startling Fact About How
To Get a Girlfriend...
HOW TO ASK A GIRL OUT ON A DATE
This question has to be one I hear most frequently
from guys: "How do I ask a girl out on a date?"
The more general form of the
question is usually, "Carlos,
how do I get a girlfriend?"
But I know that they're secretly asking me "How
do I get up the courage to ask a girl out?"
Why is it so difficult for so many guys to ask a girl out on a date?
Asking a woman out on a date is the most intimidating
question a guy can
ask a woman. It feels like you're putting your head up on the chopping block,
giving yourself up for a woman's approval (or rejection.)
And then you wait
for the axe to fall.
The answer to the big question "How to get a girlfriend"
is deceptively simple. In fact, you'll probably shake your head when you
hear it.
The answer is this:
STOP asking women out!
At least the way you have been up until now. Here
are the reasons why:
First
of all, when you ask a woman out, you're starting a
program in a woman's
head that says:
"He's
romantically interested in me. That means dates, and awkward kisses, and
possibly sex, and then a breakup like the last one. He'll add confusion and
chaos to my life... I better not."
If you're thinking "Wow, that's a lot of interpretation
from one thing!" - well, you're right. But a woman doesn't think this
in WORDS,
she thinks it in feelings.
We are all programmed with a chain of
emotions in us, and we start to short-cut our way to an expected conclusion,
even if it makes no logical sense at all.
Have you ever seen an attractive
woman across the room
and thought this:
"Hmm. She's hot. I'd love to go ask
her out on a date. But I have to go over and say
something to her. What do I
say to her to impress her? I don't have any clever pickup
lines. Plus, she's
with her friends, laughing and having a good time. She'd probably be turned
off or angry if I interrupted her. She's probably not even my type. Hmmm.
I think I'll wait and go talk to another woman who's easier
to approach."
Ever thought that? Oh, I know you have, because I used
to do this to myself all the damn time. I'd self-sabotage my every attempt
to approach women.
So don't tell me that these little illogical
emotional chains don't happen. They do.
I've seen them at work in seminars and bootcamps
I've led, and most of the time the guys don't even realize how quick they're
going from the start of that chain to the end. It happens in
a split second,
and you don't even realize it until you've talked yourself out of trying
yet again.
The second reason you don't want to ask a woman
out is this:
By asking her out on a date, you force her to have to figure out if she's
attracted to you right then - at the moment you ask her out.
She is required to figure out her interest level in YOU in
just 30 seconds of knowing you.
It's like a car salesman whipping out a contract
the second you walked on the lot. There still needs to be some
interest here before she's going to take
a risk with you. (File this under: "NOT How
to Get a Girlfriend."
I see and hear this all the time: Guys who just
pull up next to a woman and ask her for her number right
there, or they'll ask her for a date at the red light.
Hey, he's got balls,
but no brains to back it up.
You need to demonstrate
some value before
a woman will take a chance and make an investment.
You see, a woman doesn't want to lead a man on, but she
also rarely knows
right away if there's romantic interest. So she might say yes just to not
hurt your feelings, knowing she can just ignore your call or flake later.
If you push her for an answer right away (which
is how asking her out right then comes across to her) she'll probably say
No - even if she's just not sure yet. You're forcing
her hand rather than keeping her in the game.
Most women are NOT attracted to you immediately unless it's
by your looks alone. If you rely on pure sex appeal to win you the one you
want, you'll be relying on "luck." There's a much better way.
Don't move so fast on her. Be patient.
Take a second and think about
which of these options might be most attractive to a woman:
A) A meal and/or movie date
that shows no originality. A date that implies that she'll have to think
about you romantically, and that there will be pressure for her
to be "on her best behavior." And then, at the end, she'll have
to deal with your awkward attempt to kiss her. (Yikes.)
B) A chance to go out and have some fun, with no
pressure.
Which one sounds better to you?
(Now, if you're still leaning towards Option A, think again
about which one sounds better to HER...)
Does Option B sound better?
You bet your Playstation it does.
Now, it may not seem to have your interests in mind right
away, but that's not what winning a girl's heart is
about. It's about forgetting
what YOU want
long enough that she can believe you will give her what SHE wants.
Let me say that again, with a cooler font: It's
about forgetting what YOU want long enough that she
will believe you can give her what SHE wants.
There's a saying:
"You can have anything you want in this world if you just help enough
other people get what they want."
Also, Option B gives her a little MYSTERY about
your intentions and your interest, and that is what a woman wants. Remember
the Universal Attraction Formula:
Hope + doubt
= passion.
Now, don't misunderstand me to say that you should be
trying to ask women out on the pretense of "friendship,"
or that sneaky
and low-risk method guys use. You know, when you "See if she wants
to 'hang out' sometime..."
Hang out? What is this, high school?
No, you need to show that you are a sexual man with confidence. You have to
show you have posture and that you're not running around begging women to go
out with you.
So I know you're wondering, "Carlos, how
the hell do you ask a woman for a date, without asking her out, but still
show you're interested in her sexually?"
Easy. If you've only just met her on the street, you should
see if she's "got a quick minute for coffee or tea at the local coffee
shop."
Take the opportunity to build a little rapport
and show her that you're FUN. The rest will come later if you can demonstrate
a laid-back, fun personality.
Give her a LOW INVESTMENT OPTION.
This is what they call getting the "little
Yes's" in sales. You start with something small
that she can't perceive as a threat or risk, and once you have her hooked, you start to escalate.
If she doesn't have the time right at that moment, you then shift into a
lower gear and get her phone number and/or email address. After you put such
a nice request out there for coffee and she turned you down, she's more likely
to agree to give
you her contact information, and in most cases she will write it
right down for you.
If she hesitates, which is very likely because you're still essentially a
stranger, then you need to reassure her by teasing her.
That's right - teasing her.
HER: "Sorry, I don't give out my number."
YOU: "It's okay, I'm already stalking a couple other women, so I
don't have time for another one. But you could get on my waiting list. C'mon,
write it down, you goober."
Make her feel a little silly that she doubts
your integrity and character. (You do have good integrity
and character, don't you?) Teasing is simply a psychological technique to
make her forget about her weird trust issues.
Hand her a pen and paper and don't look her in the
eye; just wait. As they say in sales, the next person who speaks, loses.
Usually, she'll write it down. You have to be willing to wait out that long,
uncomfortable silence while she figures out if you're a confident
guy or a wimp. If you start talking and trying to reassure her of all the
reasons she should be okay about giving you her information, you lose.
Just be convinced that anything but giving you her info would be crazy, and
she will do exactly what you want.
Once you have her contact information, you only need to get hold of her and
invite her to complete the offer you originally made - tea or coffee at a
certain local shop. It's a low-investment, and it's not
too pushy or overtly "romantic" that she has to worry about where things
will go.
(DATING ADVICE TIP: Women are always wondering what things
mean, and where things are going...)
At this point, you'd need to start applying my more advanced
strategies from The
Dating Black Book to keep her interest and get her into you.
You'd use my Tease-to-Please tactic,
along with the
conversational techniques I detail in my
e-book.
You could then apply some of the kino tools and other advanced
strategies to melt her into your arms.
If you want the COMPLETE game-plan,
you have to download my rulebook - THE
DATING BLACK BOOK.
That's where I've put hundreds of strategies and pointers
to this game of seduction so that you can understand how
to get a girlfriend - the RIGHT way.
It's
not about "How do I get a date?" It's about "How do I get a date with a woman
worthy of me?"
There's a big paradigm
shift in belief right there, and that's what I want to show you.
It's the difference between having a few pieces of the puzzle, and having
the whole work put together for you to give you the BIG picture.
Forgive my vulgarity here when
I tell you that it's the difference between hesitation ... and masturbation.
No
more fluffy nonsense about telling a woman your "real feelings." You need
real tactics and strategies, as well as the underlying beliefs of the men
who get dates with the most beautiful women.
Isn't that what you want?
The strategies and information in The
Dating Black Book aren't untested theories or lame ideas
about how
to get a girlfriend... These strategies work for real because
I've used them for years to get
massive success with women.
Look, I'm skinny, I've got a big nose, and don't have an MBA. That's how
I know that my strategies will work for you.
Now, you need to
find out...
Go download
your copy of The Dating Black Book right now HERE:
The Dating Black Book
- Dating Advice for Men.
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