TAKING THE UPPER HAND
by Carlos Xuma
I want to talk to you for a minute on a topic that I've recently had the joy
of researching first-hand.
This goes into the topic of posture (which many of you are familiar with in
the e-book) and I hope this demonstrates what I mean by turning the tables
on a woman and showing her you are not a wimp.
The usual pattern of male interaction (at least for 90% of the "nice
guys" out there) is that they will often start to fear losing a woman
far too quickly.
Recently, I had to cut loose one of my low-grade prospects because of her
lack of effort. It wasn't easy at first, but I remembered that my attitude
is FIRST and foremost, and keeping her around, selling off
bits of my self-esteem to keep seeing her would have been more damaging than
Here's the message that I gave her:
"Hey, girl... I tried calling you so I could talk to you in person, but
I've been thinking, and it doesn't seem like a good time for us to be seeing
each other. I really need a little more TLC right now and enthusiasm if I'm
going to keep seeing someone. I think it's better if we can just be friends.
No criticism of you, I just have high standards when it comes to the level
of attention I require. Good luck!"
Yes, that's what I told her, because I could smell her flakiness starting
to come on, and it got to the point where I couldn't reach her in person.
You know that smell, don't you? When a woman starts to hold back on contacting
you, and you can tell that she's either trying to play the old "hard
to get" game (probably after reading The Rules but not knowing how
to use them appropriately) or she's starting to lose interest.
Most guys totally screw it up right here. They will proceed to push down harder
on the gas, not realizing that she's already pulled up on the emergency brake.
They start to panic, and they call her ten times a day to find out what is
wrong, why won't she call?
Cut her off and take the upper hand back.
The bottom line is that I needed that slice of time back for ME, not wasting
it on a woman who wasn't an active and producing part of my investment portfolio.
The other stocks I've chosen deserve my attention, and they'll get further
investments if they keep producing. But keeping her around is detrimental
I did my part by demonstrating good faith in making the first installment
investment, which every guy should do. That initial investment is your effort
to get to that first date or meeting with her (introducing yourself, getting
the phone number, calling her, setting the date). Everything after this point
MUST have a return on your investment.
What kind of "return" are you looking for?
If she fails to kiss you on your first date (after a COMPETENT attempt
by you) then she's dropped.
If she does not keep returning energy, affection, or any of the needs you
have from her, GET RID OF HER.
If she's more of a liability or a drain to be around than uplifting and fun
- she's better off playing for another team!
How many times have YOU told a woman you would "rather
just be friends"?
When I told a friend of mine that I had used that line on her, he thought
it was the most original thing he'd heard and couldn't stop chuckling at the
irony. (I'll bet HE has never used that on a woman himself.)
Why haven't you done that to HER for a change? Why haven't
you dropped a bomb in her lap by telling her you'd rather just be friends?
Because you were always more scared of losing out on potential pussy than
you were at keeping your self-esteem high. Until you value your own sense
of confidence and self-esteem more than a piece of ass, SHE will
always CONTROL YOU.
(Whoah... this guy is to the point...)
Does that thought sound appealing to you? Giving up your manhood to a woman
just to satisfy your sexual urge?
Here's an alternative: Cultivate the attitude and inner-strength of a man
who does not NEED women at all. He understands that 50% of
the population (actually slightly more) are women, and that once he understands
the essentials - the FUNDAMENTALS - of female attraction,
he need never trade his balls for anything again. Women are always out there
waiting for him (yes, WAITING for you, guys - women almost
never initiate, so they're WAITING for YOU.)
WE have the power, my friends. Not them. And only you can do something with
that power by taking the upper hand from time to time.
And there are many ways to display this power of personality.
Ultimately, you're going to have to learn enough about what's going on in
her head to get that upper hand.
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Advice for Men - How to Meet Women and Attract Women