Dating Advice for Men - How to Approach Women, Attract Women, and Meet Girls




Have you ever gotten so fed up with dating women and dealing with all the crap that you just pull out of the game entirely? You get sick of being blown off all the time, and really sick of never being able to reach them in the first place.

Hey, I've been there.

We all reach a point of disgust and anger about all the silly social rules in the dating game and we throw in the towel.

However, this kind of reaction implies a few things. First off, that you're needing a particular result in order to keep going. Well, that's perfectly natural. You wouldn't show up at your job every day if you didn't get the expected paycheck each week, now would you?

When it comes to dating women and the whole pick-up game, you've got to realize that you may have to walk a while in the desert before you find the oasis you're looking for. Hey, if that's the worst news someone had given me a while back, I would have said, NO PROBLEM! Bring it on!

Now the good news is that you can shorten the path to your oasis by being smart about how you get women interested in you.

So, in keeping with this, I'm going to tell you about three attitudes that draw women to men.

As you read these, I want you to try something for me. No matter how 'obvious' what I might say seems, I want you to re-think your beliefs about them, and see if you are still, perhaps, working under the opposite belief in some way.

If that sounds confusing, just wait and we'll go into it in more detail.

Let's start with things that women find alluring. These are my top Three Attitudes that will improve you 100+% in the eyes of the women you approach and date if you'll work on them.

In fact, if you really get what I'm about to tell you, you're going to have a problem finding time for all the women that will want to get with you.

I'm not hyping it up here, either, dude. I'm serious. With my Alpha hobbies, helping you guys, and the women in my life, I'm starting to forget to pay bills and keep enough water in my dog's bowl. BAD Carlos, I know.

So here are the Three Success Attitudes:


ATTRACTIVE Attitude #1 - Guys who like themselves

Yes, even though we're men, we still have PLENTY of things to like about ourselves. Contrary to the popular media that demonizes us, guys are pretty cool. Having a pecker rocks!

I mean, let's start with the obvious things about guys that are cool: We invented beer and stock car racing. What more do we have to do, after all? Yeah, I'm sure we invented the remote control, and probably the electric guitar, while we're at it.

We're GUYS. We make cool stuff.

But that's not all. You see, women really pick up on guys who LIKE being guys.

And not just guys who like their gender. Women really like guys who like THEMSELVES. It comes across in the way we treat ourselves and the way we treat others. If you like yourself, you probably aren't a dick.

It's an easy deduction, because the ironic thing about confidence and self-esteem is that the men you THINK might have it (i.e., Jerks) actually DON'T have it at all. They're making up for being horribly insecure dweebs.

Ya dig?

So the more you communicate a self-liking, the more you're going to cultivate a more interesting and vibrant personality. And that "vibrant" turns into a "vibe" that you'll get with a woman when she picks up on it.

Just don't self-like yourself TOO much there, spanky. Keep the hand lotion out of sight.

ATTRACTIVE Attitude #2 - Guys who are fun to be around.

And when I say fun, man, I mean FUN.

Not that you have to juggle and tell great jokes, but you should definitely have a little personality to show that gets people interested.

The easiest way to cultivate this trait is to open yourself up to being more PLAYFUL.

Being playful means having a slightly childish part of you that you can bring out on occasion to have a little fun with women. Tease them a little. Poke them in the ribs. Tell her she's got cooties.

Another great way to be fun is to go PLACES that are fun. I like meeting women in interesting spots of San Francisco so we can be interactive.

There's a great place here called the Exploratorium where you get to interact with hundreds of experiments and scientific demonstrations - from magnetism to music to glow-in-the-dark bacteria. It's a hoot. And there's a LOT of possibility for physical interaction between you and HER there, too.

Make a list of all the cool places you can go with her. She'll associate the feelings she experiences WITH YOU. Remember that.


ATTRACTIVE Attitude #3 - Guys who are confident and go after what they want.

This is the one that a lot of guys have a tough time with.

"What is 'confident'?" they ask.

Confidence is simply your willingness to be who you are with no regrets, guilt, or anxiety.

You don't care what other people think. You're validated from within.

See, I can define it for you very simply, but feeling this sensation and demonstrating it is something a little more complicated.

Very few of us really grew up in a way that allowed us to develop a really good sense of self-confidence. In most families, we were subject to constant put-downs and undermining comments from our parents and siblings about our value. We never really got compliments.

As a result, most guys have struggled to feel the kind of self-confidence that allows them to have real success with women.

And if you ask a woman what the most att ractive thing about a guy is, it's his level of confidence.

Now, I do have a great solution to help you with all this.

Especially your confidence.

I have been working on a new format and subjects for the Advanced Audio Coaching. I've started a regular monthly segment that covers How to Create Lasting Change in your life. This and many other topics on becoming a confident Alpha Man, and avoiding the trap of the Nice Guy.

If you aren't familiar with the Audio Coaching, you should take a listen right away. You can get it each month, or you can subscribe and get the whole works without missing a single session.

And if you've already got The Dating Black Book, or The Secrets of the Alpha Man programs, or any other program, this is the perfect way to reinforce and stay motivated each month.

The best part, though, is that you can start with any session and get right into the best advice available on dating and developing your inner game. All in an easy-to-download MP3 format that you can listen to RIGHT AWAY. No waiting for CDs to ship!

You don't have to spend hundreds of dollars on a "boot-camp." All this valuable information is available for you to study in the privacy of your own home.

No embarrassment or social pressure to cramp your learning.


I urge you to at least have a look at the Audio Coaching program and try out a month. It's about the cost of what you'd pay for an audio CD, but with MUCH more. Over 110 minutes of professional, digitally recorded audio on topics that you want to hear.

Topics such as:

- Building Self-Confidence

- Handling women and the many situations you'll encounter on approaches and dates

- How to drive up any woman's attraction for you

- Verbal Kung-fu - the art of self-defense with your words

- Getting rid of bad habits, and learning how to change

- Exercises, tactics, and games - all explained

- Storytelling, and other arts of conversation

And MUCH more.

Even better, as a subscriber to the program, you get a bonus session for your first month, and you'll get a bonus track each month that NO ONE ELSE gets. Cool, huh?

As always, it's 100% guar ant eed.

So why not take a look? Try it out.


I'll be back again soon with another newsletter...

Until then, Strength and Honor!

- Carlos Xuma

PS: I managed to get a few more re-prints of the AAC Year One CDs. This is a CD with all 12 of the first year of our Advanced Audio Coaching programs. That's over 21 hours of audio, with an unbelievable amount of information. You'll find that at the site, too. Here's the link:


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"Carlos Xuma is the nation's leading personal dating coach, and professional dating agent. Recognized as the world's premier dating authority, Carlos' date-coaching and skills work for single men everywhere. If you use sites like,,,, and other online dating sites, Carlos' dating advice can help you succeed like never before. Even better than what a dating agency could ever offer you, Carlos' advice, products and ideas turn you into your own matchmaker, and will double your dating success whether you seek a relationship, romance, or the love of your life."


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