BEWARE THE ALFIE
- CARLOS XUMA
I happened to watch the Jude Law movie "Alfie" the other night.
While I can't recommend it based on its merits as a movie (especially if
you have as little time as I do), I found the message in it to be very disturbing
and worth noting.
Basically, the film is about a young British guy (good looking, of course)
who is a limo driver in New York City. He's a ladies man, and pulls action
all the time. Over the course of the movie, you see his cocky and confident
facade pulled down by a series of events that make him re-think his approach
to life and women.
Now, on the surface, this seems like the standard cautionary tale about not
using people and thinking of other people's feelings. After all, Alfie is
just using these poor women and being a real jerk.
But wait a minute here....
He actually is very straightforward about his intentions from the start.
He explains that he doesn't want to stick with one woman. He doesn't mistreat
any of his ladies, and they all enjoy his company. And while these women all
act hurt from time to time about the fact that Alfie isn't likely to settle
down with any of them, they all knew the deal from the beginning.
The danger that this movie presents is that it portrays these women as helpless
victims, women who we are supposed to believe were tricked into Alfie's bed
under false pretenses. Alfie was a Bad Man because he has sex with
many women, and he doesn't conform to modern beliefs of monogamy.
Here's the dangerous and incorrect message that the movie tries to get you
"Women are helpless creatures who can't make their own decisions,
and the men that seduce them are BAD."
Oh, and one more related message is underneath that one:
"Guys who seduce or sleep with more than one woman, OR who don't
want to be tied down, are JERKS."
And one more that's even more disturbing:
"Women aren't responsible for their decisions."
This is the faulty message that the media is trying to send us. It's a dangerous
message for men, and quite honestly, it's more insulting to women if you look
at it in the right light - the light of Truth.
Every one of the women in the movie knew what she was doing. It's not the
man's responsibility to sit her down and have her sign a disclosure before
she sleeps with him so that she acknowledges the reality of what she's getting
The real truth is that women often put on romantic blinders when dealing
with men. (Men even do this.) We see and believe what we WANT to
so that we can DO what we want to. Today's men and women
are brought up to be more and more impulsive and less self-controlled.
Unless you have a gun held to your head, you CHOOSE to do
everything that you do. No one is pulling your strings. Everyone makes the
choices that they WANT to make.
Don't believe this garbage that men are the cads and womanizers. ("Cad"?
Who uses this term anymore? Well, it's the description of the movie on the
sleeve, believe it or not.)
This is the kind of crap that creates the bad programming of the "Nice
Guy," and takes years to undo. I should know - I was one of them.
Women - and men - everywhere actually need MORE guys like
Alfie to demonstrate the real Alpha
Man traits that are sorely lacking in our world today. In fact, I'm thinking
Jude Law's character should have been called "Alphie."
Many times all a woman wants is a guy she can have a good time with, no matter
how long it lasts. And if you asked her how she felt about most of the guys
she's had her "fun" with, she'd tell you she'd gladly do it all
over again, knowing exactly how it would have to end.
I think "Alfie" is an example of the kind of mindless counter-programming
that AFC's just accept as true. After all, Hollywood is saying it, so it must
be true. We also get movies like "Bridget Jones" that glorify all
the neurotic traits of women. And, unfortuntately, movies like "Alfie" are
becoming more of the norm. They cater to the female "chick-flick" watching
public because that's where the money is, not the Truth.
I want to warn you right now about the bad programming that's infected the
U.K. as well. Shows like "Coupling" send us the message that guys
are dopes and incompetent fools who need women to keep them in line. There
was even a preview on one of the "Coupling" DVDs of a new show about "Men,
and the women who put up with them." Un-be-phuquing-lievable.
That really sums up this new attitude: Men are now perceived as a necessary
In the movie, Alfie even tries to make a go of a long-term relationship.
Somehow, in the twisted logic of this screenplay, they even make him look
bad for dumping this woman because she's a psycho who freaks out without her
medication. Huh. Go figure. Can't imagine why he wouldn't keep that winner
I do believe that - eventually - a guy wants to stay with a woman he can
trust and confide in. Someone he can invest some time and emotion into. But
in order to find ONE good woman out there we have to sift through a ton of
bad ones. So be it.
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