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When Do I Call Her ???
"When do I call her? Experts say wait till 2 to 3
days then call but what if you call and it went into voice mail. Should
I leave a message? Or call again later ?"
First of all, blanket rules are rarely practical or
effective. What's much more valuable to you is having the fundamental
understanding of where her head is at so you can judge for yourself and
adjust to fit the situation. You have to have an adaptive system to
decide these things for yourself.
Let me give you some examples so you can understand what I'm talking
about:
1) You barely know her, and you got her phone
number fairly quickly. (Met her in a store or on the street.)
She's a cold contact, and she's unlikely to remember you after a couple
days. I'd call her between 48-72 hours after you met her so that the
contact doesn't go too cold. She barely knows you, so you are very
suspect in her eyes until you've had a chance to establish more
attraction. Until then, you're no better than a blind date. Don't wait
too long, or you'll stand almost no chance of getting together with
her. Make sure you go for a light meeting (coffee or a drink) to get
things started.
2) You met her at a party or social occasion
where you had an opportunity to interact for a while and establish some
trust and rapport.
She's a warm contact, and you've got some time here. I would not call
her until after 3 or 4 days, with 7 days maximum. You want her to
wonder where you are and why you haven't called. Of course, this only
works if you had a strong connection up front.
3) You know her from a common connection or
setting (work, friends, same class, etc.) and you'll likely see her
again there. OR she's very interested and you hit it off great right at
the start, including some likely buying indicators.
She's a hot prospect, and you can wait even longer before you contact
her. In fact, if you met her in a setting where you'll see her again,
get her number, but don't call her until AFTER the next time you see
her. This will make her wonder if you're really interested. This kind
of wonder will only help you. The longer the better, but don't wait TOO
long. 10-12 days is about the limit.As for voicemail, you never leave a
message with a woman on your first few phone calls.
Why? Because you are giving your power over to her, because if you
leave a message with her, for as long as it takes her to get back to
you (IF she gets back to you) you'll be wondering about her and
thinking about her. And that deepens your emotional interest in HER
more than it does hers in YOU.
NEVER, ever leave a message with a
woman, and especially on the first time you call her. Block your caller
ID so she won't know it's you, and try her again later. Don't call more
frequently than once a day. (She might be screening her calls, and that
marks you as a freak when and if she decides to answer to find out who
is pestering her.)
The way to avoid this situation is to always find out when she'll be
available for you to call her when you first get her number. Then, if
she's not there when you call and leave a message, you have a reason to
be concerned. She's raising a red flag for you before you've even
gotten started, so you know that you need to put her on probation.
Also, get her cell phone, since people are least intimidated about
giving that number out (not as personal as a home phone), and you can
be reasonably sure to get her if she's out.
- Carlos Xuma
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