The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Sunday, 10:00 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...

Life is an intriguing blend of circumstance, planning, and fate.

You never know what each day will bring you. Today it might be roses. Or it might be the fertilizer.

You never can tell...

Let me share a saying I heard that I thought was inspiring:

Don't kill time... Today is the tomorrow you were looking forward to yesterday.

Interesting point of view, isn't it?

There really is no such thing as "tomorrow" or the "future." They're just human concepts that we use to imagine ourselves on the great river of time.

The fact is that this river of time never stops. And it's moving much faster than you think.

(I promise not to wear this metaphor out on you...)

Wild tigers on the plains of the Serengeti don't think about anything but NOW. This very minute.

You also need to remember that you only have so much time in this life, and then it's all gone.

I've got a way for you to maximize that time and make the most of it. I'll tell you more about it after today's dating advice on how to get a girlfriend...

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QUESTION: How many mistakes do you have to make until you get a girlfriend?

I was interested in finding a girlfriend when I turned 18 last year November. I have made a few mistakes where i was rejected and I did not know why. I did some research and read many books but am still unsuccessful. This is really messing up my self esteem.

I am very good looking. Not that I'm bragging, but I am told this by many of my sister's friends who are 26 years of age and over.

To get to the point, I feel that reading these articles makes me feel insecure as if I require help, like a crazy person seeing a psychiatrist. and as a result girls can sense it somehow.

How many mistakes do I have to make (roughly) until I get a girlfriend?

Thanks
D

CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:

The funny thing is that most guys out there assume that if you're good looking, you've got it made with women. They think that if you're attractive, you'll get a girlfriend whenever you want. As you probably know by now, this just isn't so.

You're having some problems, and Carlos is here to help.

You asked me: How many mistakes do you need to make until you get a girlfriend?

Well, the answer is ... 43.5.

Okay, maybe it's 7.

How about 1,346?

Forget the numbers. They don't mean anything at all, really.

This is how you have to look at your situation:

QUESTION: How many mistakes do you need to make?

ANSWER: AS MANY AS IT TAKES.

CONTINUED...

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...

You can't quantify the game of attraction. I can't distill it into an easy formula that I can give you and say that if you make exactly X number of dates or mistakes, you'll get a girlfriend.

It may take 1 mistake. It might take 500 mistakes. (However, it will take a LOT less if you get my e-books and read these articles, I'll tell you that right now.)

WHO CARES how many it takes?

All that REALLY matters is that you actually go out and MAKE those mistakes and get them out of the way now, so that you can get to that warm, happy place guys want to get to a lot faster. That place is where you understand how to interact with women to spark their romantic interest.

All that REALLY matters is the kind of MAN you become in the process! That's the fastest path to get a girlfriend that I've found yet.

That warm, happy place that I speak of is called SUCCESS, my brothers. And there's no feeling like it in the world.

If I told you it takes a THOUSAND mistakes, would that be more than you could handle? Would you give up? Run off and cry, maybe just forget about it and live alone for the rest of your life?

NO.

An Alpha Man would NEVER give up until he figured it out. Never!

Remember the motto from the movie "Apollo 13": 'Failure is NOT an option!'

You appear to be shocked by the fact that women can sense your insecure state of mind. Women can sense your feelings, and they most definitely can pick up on your confidence level. A woman's radar is exceptionally refined and heightened to guys who are insecure and lack confidence. It's her "wuss" detector, and it serves her well.

Women grew up interacting in very complex and intricate social situations with their other girlfriends, all while you were sitting home playing on the X-box, or sneaking peeks at your daddy's Penthouse magazines. This refined "intuition" is how women keep from getting hooked up with the losers out there.

What you're doing, though, is making the wrong assumption from these other articles you're reading. You assume that if there's something you don't know about yet, or a skill you don't have yet, that means that you have a reason to feel inadequate. You're reading things that point out what you need to work on, and you're only looking at the negative side. You're getting down on yourself as a result.

EVERYONE has areas to improve in. No one is perfect.

Should you be depressed to find out you've got more work to do?

NO! You should feel INVIGORATED. Energized! More work to do means you've still got more life to live. That's something to be EXCITED about, not insecure. However, you are the only one who can choose that interpretation.

So put away your hanky and stop crying. Get busy!

I'm going to write you a very strong prescription, Mr. Good-Looking-Guy-Without-a-Woman.

FIRST: You need to stop looking at this all as work, and relax. I can tell from your letter that you're taking the dating game way too seriously. You're discouraged, and that alone is something that women can smell on you like bad sushi.

Chill out.

SECOND: Get to work on increasing your Alpha behaviors and vibe. You want to come across as a dominant man, not a guy who's insecure and incompetent. If you want to get a girlfriend, you have to acquire a very cool vibe.

I created my programs to help guys who are WAY too into the "I need to get a girlfriend" part of the game and not enough into the "I need to get a life" part of the game.

Having a woman will never fulfill you if you aren't a whole man in the first place. You'll just fall into more and more self-defeating beliefs and behaviors. Work on your own self-development with audio programs and enriching literature. (I've got a recommendation after this

Stop slipping down the hill of insecurity! Dig in and get some traction.

THIRD: You need to make a COMMITMENT to yourself to learn this game by going out and playing it. Sometimes you'll win, sometimes you'll learn something. (Notice I didn't say "lose.") Make mistakes; it's the only way to win in the end.

I got a letter once from one of my students, and it might be the most brilliant thing I've read all year. It said:

"I don't learn as much about myself, how to manage my emotions, how to interact with people, and how to bounce back from failure as I do when I crash and burn and fail."

Read that again about twenty times until it makes sense.

And realize this Truth: It's not how many mistakes you make. It's how many times you make a mistake and KEEP ON TRYING.

QUESTION: How do you develop this attitude or mindset?

While reading your e-book and listening to your audio coaching, I recently came across your take on someone's attitude when meeting women and how they should have a specific mindset to get a girlfriend.

Well, how do you actually change your mindset or thinking? For example, do you just recite out loud the new ideas in your head over and over or what?

As I read about how to be more cocky and funny, I realized I had been mostly working on the lines and jokes. Then I realized that it was actually cocky and funny ATTITUDE. I guessed that it's the attitude that you must work on rather than the jokes and lines, and that you must have a specific mindset (and character) when approaching a woman to become successful at doing this.

Well, my question is, how do you develop this attitude or mindset?

CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:

Yes, it's always about ATTITUDE.

That is what turns a woman on. You're absolutely right on.

You see, you can do just about anything with a woman and it will work - IF you have the right attitude.

However, if you have the wrong attitude, NOTHING you do will work.

Why is this?

Part of it is due to your body language and a ton of subtext and sub-communication that is going on when you talk to a woman.

Scientific studies have proven that 83% of all communication occurs at a level outside of the words you speak. In other words, the actual things you say are only 17% of the actual communication that's going on. Everything else is eye contact, tone, inflection, body posture, pacing, etc.

That's why it's so important that you say things with conviction and attitude. Everything you say should communicate intense Alpha Man Confidence.

You cannot communicate what you don't believe.

CONTINUED...

______________________

Listen to TV preachers for an example. You can tell when they're communicating with conviction. You can hear it and see it, and it's moving. Even over the thousands of miles of distance to your television screen, you FEEL what they're communicating.

All great speakers have this power, and even average guys like you and me can learn how to use it.

Your question about how you change your thinking is directly related to this concept. That's where you need to start new habits of thinking. It all starts with recognizing WHAT you're thinking, and either ignoring those thoughts or changing them to serve you.

Ignoring our thoughts is often too difficult, even when we know they're negative or wrong. Thoughts are habitual and familiar, and tough to shake. The there's fear always trying to get in the way. It's usually our fears that stop us from acting like the person we want to be.

So the easiest way to change your thinking is to simply ACT like the person you want to be. Jump right into the driver's seat, and stop thinking it through. It all starts with BEHAVIOR.

The quickest way to change your thinking is to change your behavior.

The more you act like the person you want to be, the more that these thoughts and attitudes will start to creep in and become part of your character. If you ACT confident and sure, you'll FEEL confident and sure.

Think about it: You can't smile and laugh without feeling good inside. It's just not possible. That's an example of action influencing thought. In the same way, it's impossible to go approach 20 women without feeling more confident about the process of approaching women after you've done it.

You've got to train your mind to be confident and cocky. It's the action that gets you to start changing your thinking. You can't just change all your thoughts in one minute, suddenly jump into the game of attraction, and expect to be an overnight success.

Start by trying a bunch of approaches, and then learn from them. Go out and don't be afraid to make mistakes. Screw a bunch of them up. So what! There are more women on this planet than you have time to meet.

The road to success is paved with mistakes.

You only need to make MORE mistakes, learn and improve, and then your fear will disappear. That's what separates the Alpha Men from the stay-at-home beta guys who never get laid.

Go and tease a few women, be a little cocky. Show her that you don't need her approval (this is very important) and then you will start to get the 'attitude.' You might even have to start by faking it until you make it, but it WILL come to you.

Your attitude is mixed right in there with your actions and behavior. It's not a separate ingredient, like adding eggs to your cake batter. You develop the right attitude with both behavior AND words.

Your "attitude" is simply this one way of thinking:

"I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE THINKS ABOUT ME."

That sounds so simple, but 95% of all guys go at the game of approaching and attracting women with an attitude that her opinion (or possible rejection) will crush him if she doesn't like him.

Guys mistakenly believe that a woman's thoughts somehow MATTER.

Remember, no one makes you inferior without your permission.

It's all about using your strengths and attitudes to communicate an Alpha Man attitude to women. Once you can communicate independence and strength, you're most of the way there.

The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.

I want to invite you to come and learn some of the illogical, yet INCREDIBLY EFFECTIVE and powerful techniques and strategies that I've learned, developed, refined over the last 5 years.

The concepts that I've just discussed are part of what I consider to be a big part of the "Inner Game" of dating success.

Most guys spend almost ZERO time working on their Inner Game and confidence ... instead, they spend time learning "pick up lines" and other useless fluff.

If you don't have your "Inner Game" together, none of the "techniques and tricks" will work for you. Women can see right through them - and you.

Once you get the right mind-set, the world suddenly seems like a different place to you.

In my Secrets of the Alpha Man program, I spend several HOURS teaching you Inner Game techniques ... I'll show you how to overcome your self-limiting beliefs, improve your self-confidence and self-esteem... and get past the fears that are holding you back from even TRYING to go out and meet women.

If you're like me, and you've had a lot of negative programming, then you MUST get that stuff taken care of. It's not going to fix itself... YOU have to do it.

My program will show you EXACTLY how.

Oh... and it will also teach you TONS of great "field" methods for approaching women, talking to women - keeping the conversation going - getting dates, meeting women online, and taking things as far as you want to go - smoothly and easily... no rejection.

The Alpha Man knows that self-development is the path to a better life. It all starts with getting educated.

Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to better choices. Better choices lead to better results.

And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of women.

It's all in my Secrets of the Alpha Man program.

Get it here:
https://www.alphaconfidence.com

And if you ever wanted to know how to overcome your fears so that you could walk up and talk to ANY woman, here is something you need to see.

Go look at the program right now by clicking here: Approach Women - NOW!

I'll talk to you again soon,

Your Friend,

- Carlos Xuma

It's all about your Inner Game...

Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW

Click HERE to learn more...

If you want to email Carlos a question, send it only with THIS EMAIL FORM.