Carlos
gives you the straight Truth...
NEWSLETTER
Dating Advice for Men: The Dating Truth
Curing Your Confusion ... With No Delusion.
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QUESTION:
Hey Carlos,
So I finally decided to take this seriously because I feel I have hit a boiling
point. I am 20 and I feel that I am just bullshitting by just reading and
not doing anything. So I found a wingman, and decided that this thursday,
friday, and saturday I was going to hit up the clubs with my wingman.
We really have no particular goal in mind, other than just
getting out there and trying to approach some females. We did drink a little
(not too much though) and I started just approaching random girls. One thing
though that I have noticed that I feel is holding me back tremendously is
my anxiety.
I feel almost too anxious to talk to girls. I seriously
try to force myself and sometimes I do approach, but sometimes its just too
hard. When I have been approaching I have been getting mostly the cold shoulder
and I just walk away or something. I do feel a sting of rejection but I felt
that I have handled it pretty good considering I don't have much experience
with girls at all and it was a challenge to my self esteem.
I kind of made it my goal to just socialize and I just
go in and talk to anyone, ask them questions, just try to get as sociable
as possible. I guess I wrote in to get your feedback or some encouragement
because its my first time really being sooo committed to this and I kind of
have an attitude that I am going to persist no matter what because I know
that success will come eventually.
I think I am going to start reading more now and actually
applying specific things instead of just going out there just saying anything
to get my anxiety handled.
What do you think Carlos? Do you have any tips or advice
that would help? Thanks so much.
Your loyal customer,
R
CARLOS ANSWERS:
You're getting the right idea.
At some point, you need to just say f*** it and get in there
and get your hands dirty.
Where you are at right now is needing to get as much experience
interacting with people. ALL people. ALL women. Not just hot girls or doing
pickup.
Your commitment level is where it needs to be, and now you
need to practice SPECIFIC strategies to use in approach.
(The best ones are included as part of the Approach
Women Program and this is what we cover in my live bootcamp seminars).
(continued ... )
Right now you need to shoot for the lowest common denominator
in your interactions. This means that if you are having problems getting the
conversation started, get a TON of experience starting conversations with EVERYONE you
meet or encounter.
If you're not talking to everyone you are weighting your
approaches with anxiety because you think that only certain interactions are
worth focusing on. In reality, NONE of them are.
Get to the point where your interactions are not weighted
by expectation, then you can move to the next level.
The "Zen" lesson here is that only by making each
conversation unimportant in the grand scheme of things can you then make the
next conversation truly important to you and her.
Learn more about the next level and how to approach
women without fear or 'approach anxiety' in the Approach
Women NOW program.
QUESTION:
Carlos, there are times when you feel that now I have found
the woman I have been searching for and you want to waste no time and try
to make her yours in no time, meaning you will tell her you love her before
you even know.
Your feelings for these woman are taking over you, so the
next thing you do is tell her that you love her just like that, and she'll
tell you that she just want to be friends with you and you don't want that.
So Carlos my friend is in the kind of situation, he would
like to know what to do and where he did wrong? I was in his shoes and I told
her can't be her friend and [left] her alone from there.
CARLOS ANSWERS:
Okay, let's be clear
about your 'friend.' He's got a lot of romantic delusion packed into
his brain that will need to be lipo-suctioned out. Let's call this stuff
the delusional 'fat' on the brain that will give him a ton of hurt in the
end.
Let's look at these romantic delusions:
DELUSION 1) Telling her you "love
her" before you "even know" is really an indicator of one thing: INSECURITY.
You're trying to "lock in" the relationship so you can breathe easier.
But you're killing the sexual tension necessary to make a relationship work.
That's why she wants to be "just friends."
Where in the world would anyone get the idea that you can
make a woman "yours"?
Guys run around with this fantasy because they're afraid
of loss (i.e., scarcity mentality) and they want to make life nice and secure
for themselves because they believe that a woman will only stay with him if
he can obligate her to him - or somehow OWN her.
Get this good: No one in this world will ever be YOURS.
You only a woman on LEASE. She's temporary, for as long as you can
stay Alpha with
her.
DELUSION 2) Your feelings for her aren't
taking you over. Your lack of self-control is letting you act from unhealthy
parts of your own thinking. There's only one person in the world that really
controls you, and that's YOU. If you can't do that, I strongly suggest a few
therapy sessions.
There's only one person at the steering wheel of your life.
You do everything in your life by CHOICE my friend.
DELUSION 3) There is no "THE" woman
for you. There's only this one and the NEXT one. If either of them are not
what you are looking for, there's another one around the corner. (And the
same is true of you for her, by the way.)
SOLUTION: Start taking control of your
emotions. As a man, you cannot let yourself be "carried away" by
your emotions like that. That's a sign of weakness that we only grant to crazy
poets and artists. Alpha Men can't get away with this. It's wussy and wimpy.
Huh? What's that?
You want me to tell you HOW to stay in control?
Easy. Just DO IT!
There is no technique for this.
There is no shortcut for this.
There is only DOING it or NOT doing it.
How do you do it?
(continued ... )
Man up!
I'm not trying to be cruel here, but I see this in many
of the kids I teach in the Martial Arts. The one thing the boys need more
than anything is to grow a pair and stop being coddled by their parents. Most
of the parents even understand this, which is why they bring their kids to
me in the first place - to instill some self-control and self-discipline.
Guess what? I'm not standing over your shoulder to bitch-slap
you or man-hug you, or wet nurse your inner child. I'm here creating programs
like the Secrets
of the Alpha Man to show you how to do that work. It's not easy to control
yourself in these situations, but it CAN be done.
And it MUST be done, or you'll turn into a jellyfish faster
than you can say "Mel Gibson in Rehab..."
Now get to it!
The Alpha
Man steers his life and his own actions. Wussies are the first to blame
the "can't control" demon.
And when YOU take the first step that's where REAL change
in your life will start.
Powerful men don't try too hard. They know
how to influence a woman by demonstrating their internal strength in certain
ways.
Do you want to start learning how to dramatically
improve your self-confidence with real, time-proven
methods?
Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine
and start showing her a real Alpha
Man?
And if you'd like to learn more about R.E.A.L.
Game (TM) and the successful attitudes of
an Alpha Man, you should take a look at the program that will put you on
the path - The
Secrets of the Alpha Man. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha
Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.
You'll learn more about conversational control and how
to talk to women when you Approach
Women. I cover all the ins and outs of how to talk to women, what to
say to women, and feeling like YOU are in control for once.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit
it.
"Carlos
"Not sure if this will actually get
to you. Just wanted to say
'You KICK ASS!!'
"I honestly havent felt this confident
and had so much control with a women ever... You're Bigger than life! keep
it coming
"Sincerely,
Ron S."
For more dating and seduction
advice...
SECRETS OF THE ALPHA MAN - This
e-book and CD coaching covers your inner game, from meeting women, to
cultivating complete confidence, to life and success strategies, to understanding
what the winners and Alpha Men in life have that you can have, too.
Looking for a better lifestyle and
inner confidence, as well as more women? This
book shows you a map to a more successful LIFE.
Put this link in your browser to see all the great
stuff in this set (you may have to put www. in front of it): alphaseduction.com
And if you've already got this program, move on to the advanced
Alpha Man Immersion program HERE: Alpha
Immersion Program
Is there ANYTHING more
important than learning the secrets of how to attract women?
Time is running short for all of us, no matter how
young or old you are. Don't waste precious years of your life learning by
trial and error (and perhaps not learning at all).
Get the information on how to improve your dating
life TODAY. Make the changes you need to make to get the love, se-x, and relationships
that you want and DESERVE to have.
If you've ever found yourself saying, "I don't
understand women!" then our e-books will finally give you the knowledge
you need to finally understand. I'm telling you, it's like getting a book
that describes how a certain magic trick is done that has fascinated you for
years.
All my experience ... my heart and soul is in these
e-books and audio programs.
I just know you'll enjoy them.
I'll be back with more advice soon ...This is the
year for you to get busy and get successful with women!
- Carlos Xuma
If you want to hear what everyone has to say about
these books, go to the site and read the reviews.
And download them now to see why more men get success with Carlos Xuma's advice
and strategies ...
If you want to email Carlos a question, send
it only with THIS
EMAIL FORM.
"The difference between
great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives
actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively
waiting to see where life takes them next."
- Michael E. Gerber |
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