NEWSLETTER October 3, 2006

Setting it Straight ... With No Debate.

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QUESTION:

Carlos,

A real quick question for you. A couple of weeks ago I told my girlfriend that sometimes I need space and I have worked very hard on being “unavailable”.

I sometimes take a couple of days before calling and she called me on it once saying that she doesn’t play that game. She said that she wants a man to want her and if he stops calling she does too. I am still playing “unavailable” thinking that her impartation was a ruse.

But in fact I have noticed that when I don’t call she doesn’t either, however, she responds very quickly when I call her or invite her along for an adventure. She told me last weekend that she is in love and that I keep her on her toes. I don’t want to break this challenge but I would like for her to start calling me again so that I am not doing all of the work.

Do the unavailable laws change from girl to girl?I know that it is a mistake for me to ask her why she hasn’t called me or initiated some get-togethers and I haven’t established contact in a couple of days but this tactic doesn’t seem to be working. I am torn between wanting to led her out of this game or wanting to stop contact to wait and see if she will initiate the next move. This is frustrating - any advice would be great Carlos.

S

CARLOS ANSWERS:

My first question for you is HOW you are “working very hard on being unavailable.”

If you are TRYING to show an unavailable “Front” to her, you’re coming at this from the wrong direction.

You must BE unavailable.

If you’re trying to LOOK unavailable, you’re creating a lie that your attitude won’t believe in.

Read that again.

If you’re trying to LOOK unavailable, you’re creating a lie that your attitude won’t believe in.

I suspect that this is what you’re doing, because you are still ATTACHED to getting a particular result.

You view the “tactic” as a means to an end. And you’re only focused on the “end.”

This is something she can read on you, and that’s why she’s doing this. She’s testing you.

What I’ll caution you about is that she’s someone I call an “Attention Hound.”

She’s only into you when you’re into her. If you go too far, she disappears. If you do too little, she disappears.

She’s a puzzle to you because it feels like nothing you do works on her. And the more you try, the less she responds.

You feel me, dog?

So why do women act this way?

They’re the type of women who aren’t used to being on the other side like this. You’re doing what she only wished her other boyfriends had done. If they did, she’d still be with them.

But she still wants control. Hey, it’s something she’s gotten used to over these years, and she’s not going to give it up easily. She’s going to fight tooth and nail to keep you on the edge, and keep testing your resolve.

She’ll test you even more because…

Everything you’re doing is orchestrated and architected, which feels fake to her and to you. Your self-confidence is never boosted with a lie, no matter how cleverly you try to tell it.

“But, Carlos!” I hear you crying… “Don’t you say that we should use these strategies to get women more attracted?”

Yes.

... and No.

You see, I want you to use these strategies to short-cut your way to a more powerful sense of your own Alpha status. You’re doing this to see strategies work, and use that feeling of success to boost your sense of control over your own life and ability to get what you want.

When you start to see that BEING this stronger, more self-focused version of yourself is ultimately more attractive, you’ll do better. And then you’ll need to go beyond mere techniques. You need to go into the realm of Alpha immersion. (More on this in a second)

And you also realize something else in the end...

(continued ... )

That it’s not about the women.

It’s about YOU.

Your confidence. Your masculine power.

When you are living your life to the fullest, women will want to come along for the ride.

And the way to find this power in your life, to live your own Alpha Man existence, with no need for tactics or tricks to get women attracted to you is to be R.E.A.L.

I am the only one out there in a sea of “gurus” who will show you how to attract women naturally. With the power of your own personality, instead of trying to be someone else or be “fake.”

When you learn the SECRETS of the Alpha Man, you’ll know how this works…

Carlos,

I am just curious on your assessment of my situation.

I left my last girlfriend because she just did not make me feel that I was loved or even cared about. For example, she never called me out of the blue to ask how I was doing or propose a get together of her own initiative. She did propose a get together after I drew her attention to the fact that I was taking all of the action in the relationship and I called to ask her about making a decision on a job offer.

I did things for her and she was not that appreciative. For example, I successfully repaired a non-functioning toilet that had sat inoperable for almost six months in her house, but she did not act very happy about my success.

She only liked me when I was able to take her out on a date that was fun and novel to her. If the date did not work out to her expectations because I became ill then she only complained, but did not propose an alternative. After a broken date and a conversation with her where she proposed no further get togethers, I decided to stop calling her. The anger inside me was building up and I decided that the only way to deal with situation was a complete break off.

My psychological analysis of her was that she was a rich daddy's girl who never outgrew being a princess and expected the men in her life to provide her with everything. Never mind that she is a pharmacist making almost $100K per year. Her mother was distant and cold which left her self-esteem weakened and not very capable of reaching out to others.

Yes, I think that men do need some things from their women that include respect and warmth including love and affection and sex. A woman will have to take some initiative and do some things for her man. If a man cannot get these things from his woman, then he should move on. Who wants to be orbiting a black hole for the rest of their lives.

Later,

Jack

CARLOS ANSWERS:

Sounds like a fair assessment to me. You are the only one qualified to know if a woman is "right" for you or not. And making the decision that one is not is often the most empowering and boosting to your self-esteem.

Remember, it doesn't matter WHY she isn't for you, only that you figure it out QUICK. And don't ever get caught up in the need to "understand" her or "fix" her.

Some people in this world spend their lives spiraling the drain because they just can't let go. The faster you let go, the faster you find a good woman instead of a life-draining, soul-sucker like this one.

Harsh? Maybe. But being vividly REAL with your nervous system helps you make hard choices. If you think of her as a not-so-nice girl, you're underestimating the damage she can cause in your life, and make it harder to disconnect.

You just did the hardest part.

You got rid of her, and made space for another possibility.

For the first time in a newsletter a dating coach has described flaking to a great extent …thanks I appreciate your help!…one very quick question though…this has happened to me …A woman I talked to for about a week or so told me this line: I will call you on fri to finalize plans…I knew she was going to flake right then and there…

I DO NOT and STILL do not have a response to this phrase…I know she will never call…should I tell her anything?? I was told by my friend that if she says it it means: I have somebody else to go with that fri but if THAT GUY tells me no or cancels I will call YOU THEN…do you think that its true?? How can I be FUN (in reading your newsletter & not care) if I know she’s got another guy and I want to be NUMBER ONE!

-P from jerzey

CARLOS ANSWERS:

Yes, that’s right, it’s the newsletter and Dating Coach that gives you the most useful information…

And now you get a little more…

You’re already on the right path if you can RECOGNIZE a flake that’s about to happen. Where most guys go wrong here is when they IGNORE what they know is about to happen and let it happen anyway. Then they spend a day or two kicking themselves in the ass.

The bottom line here is that if a person knows something is going to happen and they still let it happen, you’ve got no one to blame but yourself. If you let it happen AGAIN, then you’re guilty of the worst crime against your attitude imaginable: DISRESPECT. When you go down this path, you can only end up ruining your own confidence.

(continued ... )

What you need to do is let her know that you do not accept this kind of treatment.

“Sorry, dear. I’m not the kind of guy who wants to be your second chance plans. If you have anything else going on, cancel it. I’m more fun.”

If she doesn’t make a commitment to see you, tell her that perhaps you should reschedule for another time.

If she doesn’t bite, you need to remind her about how much fun you are/were. You were fun weren’t you? If not, then I guess I don’t blame her for flaking.

If you want to BE the fun guy, I suggest you learn how to do that by being the Alpha Man.

If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.

Find your Inner Alpha Man now...
http://www.AttractWomenProgram.com

Do you want to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence with real, time-proven methods?

Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine and start showing her a real Alpha Man? And it doesn't require you to be some fake "pickup artist" to attract women. It's actually about bringing out more of YOU than you have before.

And if you'd like to learn more about R.E.A.L. Game (TM) and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man, you should take a look at the program that will put you on the path - The Secrets of the Alpha Man. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.

If you want to hear what everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the reviews. And then download them now to see why more men get success with my advice and strategies ...

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