CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN

How to WIN the Inner Game Battle - And Just Do It :

The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Sunday, 11:19 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...

I get a lot of questions about motivation and how to keep up your attitude to do the things you need to do.

This comes up quite a bit because there is very little information in the "how to attract women" area on how to motivate yourself and dig into your own inner mechanics. There's a lot of information on "techniques" and routines, but not a lot on how to find and tap into your own inner fire.

I just finished creating a program that will help you do just that. I call it the Alpha Lifestyle: Triple-Threat program. You can get a peek at it here:

Alpha Lifestyle Program: Triple-Threat

For now, I'll give you a little understanding of your own inner game with a question that you've probably wondered about...

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QUESTION:

I am reading The Dating Black Book and I came to a part where it says that there is no cure for asking girls out. You just have to 'do it'. Well, the problem is that I don't have the courage to 'do it'.

Any suggestions?

Well, the Nike slogan is a little simplistic, but once you understand what is really holding you back, the "just do it" advice is more helpful than you might assume.

(By the way, there's a lot more on the topic of motivation in The Dating Black Book. I gave you a lot more than "just do it." Go back and review pages 78-83... There's a lot of gold in those key principles.)

Let's start by establishing right now what it is that stops you from acting:

WHAT YOU ARE THINKING.

Yep. That's the only thing that stops you from doing the things you know you should be doing.

And it's because of these two particular dysfunctional thought patterns that your thinking will mess you up:

1) Imagining horrible consequences that DO NOT EXIST

2) Not planning and preparing yourself so that you can feel confident in that situation and act anyway

There is nothing physically different about a man that walks up to a woman and talks to her than the one that doesn't, other than what he is THINKING beforehand.

There is no special "talk to women" gene, or a special "approach women" brain cell cluster - or any other special gift that this guy has that you can't develop. Arguing to the contrary is a major COP OUT that will kill your success with women.

Now, for the sake of understanding this phenomenon in men, here's what's going on in the brain of the guy who can't find the courage.

These are belief systems that are tripping him up and ruining his self-confidence:

• Women are scary. They are somehow different in a mystical way.
  
  
• My value as a man is at stake here. Women have the ability to judge me and make me less valuable.
  
  
• I'm not secure enough in my own value to believe that I have enough to offer a woman. Why would she want to talk to ME?
  
  
• If she rejects me, I'll be in incredible pain.

Now let's look at the other side. Here's what the confident guy is thinking - the guy that DOES approach women and talk to them:

• I'm valuable. No other person can alter that in any way.
  
  
• I'm not scared. There's no reason to be - She's not better than me.
  
  
• There's no down-side to approaching her. What's the worst thing that can happen? She's not interested? Big deal, there's more fish in the sea.
  
  And if I don't try to meet her, she STILL won't be interested. I lose both ways if I do nothing.
  
  
• There's no way I can let a gal like that get away without experiencing the joy of having someone like me in her life. She'd never forgive me if she found out I didn't give her that chance.

I don't mean to beat the self-esteem horse to death here, but the reality is that if a man believes - wholeheartedly - in his value and his power, he fears no man, woman, child, or small furry mammal.

AND to understand this on an even deeper level, the man who doesn't believe in himself actually believes in SOMETHING ELSE - besides himself, like:

• A woman's opinion of me is more important than my own.
  
  
• Woman have a secret power and are mysterious sacred beings that only the most gifted men can attract and sleep with.

Etc. The list goes on and on.

And so do the rationalizations and self-esteem head games we play.

You can't be intimidated by a person unless you believe that their opinion about you is more important or more valuable than your own.

You may even think that everything I've been saying here is a bunch of "mind tricks." In reality, there are no "tricks." Only methods of showing you how the man who is successful thinks instead of ... well, the other kind of guy. The wimp. The Wuss.

Tell me, what are YOU thinking when you see a woman you want to talk to?

Here's a clue:

If you're thinking AT ALL YOU ARE THINKING TOO MUCH!

In other words, you need to just ACT and not entertain the reality of the loser.

Don't give your mind the chance to talk you out of it.

Remember, the Loserboy voice (I give many examples of this thinking in The Dating Black Book) hangs out in your head, just waiting to sabotage you.

That is why you act immediately. Some people call this the "Three Second Rule," but I think that's too long. It's really the "Instantly Move Rule."

If you don't already know what you're going to say when you see a woman you want to meet, you're not prepared enough, and there's nothing new you're going to figure out while you're sitting there spinning on your bar stool working up your courage.

Other than how to talk yourself out of it, which is what most men do!

Take a few minutes right now to come up with a few opening topics (not "lines"). Things like, "Hey, I'm looking for a woman's opinion on something. My friend is trying to meet his next girlfriend. Where do you think he should go to meet quality women?"

That's simple, cute, and almost guarantees a chat with a woman.

Sit down for a few minutes right now ... Let me say that again... RIGHT NOW!!!! and plan out a couple introductions like that. Memorize them. Then you need never worry about what you're going to do EVER AGAIN. It's on your "hard drive" and ready to roll.

Part of the reason you're "working up courage" is because you've got no idea what you're going to say or do. If you did, you could just mindlessly fall back on that plan and ... uh... Just Do It.

I can promise you this:

• She won't dump her drink in your face.
• She won't slap you.
• She won't tell all her friends about you and laugh hysterically.

(If any of the next 100 women you talk to does any of these things, I'll refund you the cost of this newsletter...)

In fact, the worst I EVER experience is a slight frigid behavior from her that tells you she's got issues or she just isn't ready for you. So move on. Nothing lost. (Except a rude woman who isn't what you want in your life.)

Remember: Don't place your validation in a woman's hands. She isn't qualified for that job.

Only YOU are.

Get to the point where you understand everything I said in this newsletter, not just at a LOGICAL level - or even at a "Yeah, that kinda makes sense" level - but at an EMOTIONAL "Holy Shit, that's POWERFUL" level. Where it slams you in the gut and makes you pace your apartment in utter disbelief.

When this revelation does hit, you'll be changed for good.

And for the better.

It's easy to look at the other guys out there who can just walk up and talk to women with no problem as somehow "gifted." They seem almost granted a mystical power that the ordinary guy can't relate to.

So how do they DO it?

It's not magic, or a special power. In fact, once you understand the workings of women enough, it's really pretty simple. You'll wonder why in the world you were so intimidated at all.

Wouldn't it be great to understand what's going on so that - at the very LEAST - you could avoid feeling "played" or manipulated in the future...?

That's exactly what my programs will show you. Not only will you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can amplify your "Alpha Man" confidence so that you are able to draw in the women that you want.

The only "magic" you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.

Every guy that behaves according to the information I teach is more successful than they were before, and most of them become MASSIVELY successful.

Look, there are so many things you have to have down pat in the singles world.

Like, how do you NOT screw it up in those vital first couple minutes of meeting a woman?

You've heard me say this before: Getting laid is not about getting "lucky."

It's about having the right knowledge and understanding up front. Women are actually WAITING for men to date and sleep with, if you'll just give them the right reasons WHY they should be with YOU. It's deliberate and on-purpose, not subject to the whims of chance and fate.

BE the kind of man they are waiting for. That's all they ask of you.

Do you ever feel like you're at a loss when it comes to approaching women and getting them interested in you - romantically?

Read the next couple paragraphs carefully, because it has a DIRECT IMPACT ON YOU...

Women are attracted to several key behaviors in men. These are things that many guys don't know are attractive to women because it goes against what they think of as "nice."

The ideas I've just discussed in the letters above are what I consider to be essential behaviors to incorporate in your identity. These are a critical part of dating success with women.

Most guys spend no time improving their skills with women, and they end up chickening out when the time is right to approach women. They'd rather sit back and talk about what they WOULD do, but not actually muster up the courage to DO IT.

I'm going to tell you a little secret:

I used to be the same way. I remember fondly going to a bar in Kansas City (where I was living at the time) and being so desperate to meet someone that I pulled out a business card, found a woman that looked attractive, and I handed it to her saying, "Excuse me, I think you dropped this."

What chance did that have of working?

About zero. Because even if she did find it cute and endearing that I tried, it was a pitifully indirect method of expressing my interest.

I found my card on the floor later that night, mixed in with some beer-soaked coasters and a pizza crust.

That was the last straw for me. I was fed up, and I'd had ENOUGH.

If you're like me, you know that this situation wasn't going to get better without learning some new skills and techniques to overcome my fears. It simply will NOT get better on its own...

I made a decision right then that lasted me a lifetime. I decided that - do or die - I was going to learn how to approach women, how to talk to women, and how to get a date. No matter WHAT it took.

I started watching other guys, trying out my own stuff, seeing what worked and what didn't, and I kept it in a book.

Now, a couple years ago, I took all that information and I created a training program that was designed to get guys past all these hurdles.

It covers every part of how to talk to women - without fear of rejection.

I know what it's like to sit there feeling like you can't talk to that hot woman in the bar, or the attractive store clerk you'd like to ask for her number.

Now you can get the tools to fix this...

RIGHT NOW.

Go take a look at this quick training video. I assure it's the piece of the puzzle you've been missing.

Go look at the program right now by clicking here:


CLICK HERE to Discover The Secrets Of How To Talk To Women

Stay Alpha,

- Carlos Xuma

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