|
QUESTION:
Yo Carlos,
WASSUP? Well, one of my friends recommended me to you about a few months ago and I must say you definitely know what you are doing because I have a friend who naturally applies some of your principles. Now, I on the other hand have trouble with women.
I am 19 years of age and want to start approaching women, but the fact is that I never have had any type of success with women. Every time I see a woman I would like to approach, I get a little nervous and am afraid of totally screwing up. I have a fear or something.
Now, my question to you is what is the BEST way to eliminate this fear and nervousness? Should I just DO IT and not give a dam if I totally mess up or what? What do you recommend?
P. S - I have never really approached a woman before in my life, so I have to get this handled. Carlos, thank you man, I appreciate your generosity.
CARLOS GIVES YOU A LITTLE MOTIVATION:
Well, first of all, I'm glad you're making the effort to take care of this BIG part of your life.
Guys don't really stop to think very often just how important success with women is to them. Unfortunately, this winds up blinding them later on in life. High 5 to you for getting control of this NOW, while you can still shape your habits.
I'll give you a short and a longer answer:
YES, you should just DO IT and ignore the fear.
You see, that's the quickest way to overcoming it. A famous soldier was once asked how he was so fearless on the battlefield. He said he wasn't fearless at all. He was so scared he almost crapped his pants every time. But what he didn't do was let the fear STOP HIM.
That's the critical difference. Not that you'll ever totally erase the fear, but that you find a way to act in SPITE of it.
Ah, but it's not always as easy as it sounds to just DO IT. There's a lot of mental machinery trying to undermine your ability to act, and your self-esteem plays a large role in it.
|
|
So how do you act in spite of it?
You have to RE-FRAME the meaning of the event. The reason that you're feeling scared when you approach a woman is that years of bad social conditioning has left you believing that women are some kind of MAGICAL and SPECIAL creatures. Perhaps that they are almost PERFECT.
Let me assure you from past experience, they do all the nasties that men do. They're FAR from perfect. They poop. They pick their noses. And when they get really really drunk, they hurl just like guys.
Not pretty?
Well, it should serve to knock her off her pedestal a bit, which is what you MUST learn how to do if you're going to have long-term success with women.
Right away, I urge you to complete your understanding of this subject by downloading my e-book.
You'll be glad you did.
QUESTION:
Thanks in the past for replying to my mails. It always helps. You are the man! I love your latest e-book and am using it as a guide for self-improvement.
Thanks for pointing out so many truths and empowering the male species.
I have another one for you, bud.
Here's my story. I met a girl I really like and I kinda sensed something was wrong. She seemed to be into me but I couldn't tell for sure. I shortly found out that she was engaged. To say the least, it pissed me off.
Her friend broke the news to me because she supposedly didn't have the guts. I put it under the rug and moved forward and somehow bumped into her again. I experimented to see how that would result and talked to her.
She told me she dismissed me as a possibility because I cut off contact with her and wasn't replying to my messages. She had that very same day broken up with her fiancee and called it off.
I moved and forgot about it and she tried to contact me without my knowing and when I found out, she told me that because I didn't contact her, she got back together with her ex. We are sort of dating but she is engaged.
She told me that she doesn't want to break his heart and he lives far away and bought her a plane ticket and a wedding ring. She really feels pressured because he went out on a limb for her. I told her that it's never too late to make up her mind and she agreed but she has a tough time following through with it. |
