Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Eye contact...

I've just bought your book and haven't finished it yet, but there's a question that bothers me for some time, and I hope you can help me with it

Formerly I used to walk on the street and look down (at my feet) most of the time. Now my confidence and self-esteem are much higher, but I'm still unsure how to nonverbally interact with people on the street.

I'm talking about eye contact. I've noticed that others are uneasy about this too: they give me a very brief look at the distance and then either look away or straight ahead (I do this often myself).

I'm thinking about holding eye contact, but it's intimidating to do this with other guys (wouldn't it be aggressive?).

Thanks in advance.
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CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:

The point of the exercise is to maintain your own internal state no matter what other people appear to think or feel about it.

No, you don't want to lock eyes with guys too long. Just a quick glance, smile, and nod is all you need to do.

The point in making eye contact is to demonstrate TO YOURSELF just how powerful your internal state really is. When another person looks away or avoids your look, it doesn't have anything to do with YOU.

It's their own insecurity and inability to handle the connection.

You don't laugh at them on the inside for being losers, or gloat in pompous glory... You just keep going on with your life.

Keep your head up and your eyes on the prize...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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